What I Want
by TVTime
Summary: Sam expected it to be one kiss. Sebastian expected it to be one lay. Sometimes things don't go as expected and sometimes people aren't exactly sure of what they want. Story begins just prior to the start of Season 3's "On My Way." - Story now complete.
1. Chapter 1: Kiss

**What I Want**

**A/N: Here's the first chapter of my new multi-chapter fic. I was delighted by the response I received with my Sam/Seb one shot, 'So Hot', and so it inspired me to write a longer story featuring these two. However, this story is in no way related to 'So Hot' and it takes place in a different character universe. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Chapter 1 – First Kiss**

Sebastian Smythe sighed in frustration as he looked at the crossed metal bars blocking his path. Kelly Everett had passed him a note in science class a few minutes before recess. It had urged him, complete with underlines and an appalling surplus of exclamation marks, to meet her under the bleachers at recess. Meeting under the old rickety, dirty, cobweb-encrusted stands held no appeal whatsoever for Sebastian and if it had been anyone other than Kelly making the request he would have no doubt simply ignored it. However, Kelly was the closest thing to a friend he had at this godforsaken school so he decided to humor her.

Steeling his resolve Sebastian hunched down and duck-walked through the gap at the bottom of the rusty bars. As he stood up he quickly found himself with a cobweb tangled in his hair - his prediction about this place had indeed been correct. He decided that Kelly better have something quite important to talk to him about or else he would give her an earful. After a few seconds his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light and he spotted her underneath the middle section of the structure.

"What do you want?" Sebastian demanded as he approached her.

"Ssshh, we have to be quiet," Kelly whispered, giggling a few times as she spoke.

"Why?" Sebastian whispered back as he continued picking spider silk out of his hair.

"So nobody hears us, silly," Kelly answered as she put her hands on Sebastian's arms and leaned close.

Sebastian glanced down at the thin fingers partially encircling each of his forearms. What in the world was she doing? He glanced back up to ask her precisely that, but before he had a chance to open his mouth she was pressing her lips against his.

"Whoa! What was that?!" Sebastian screeched, jumping backward to get away from her and bumping his head on a low beam in the process.

"Our first kiss," Kelly answered as her face took on a vulnerable quality and her bottom lip began to tremble slightly. Moments earlier her lips had felt alive and tingly as she experienced first contact with the boy she had liked for well over three weeks. They were supposed to start 'going out' now and then all the other girls in their sixth grade class would be jealous because she had the cutest boy for herself. But as she took in the horrified, _disgusted_ expression on Sebastian's face she knew that none of that was going to happen, and suddenly her previously happy lips were contorting in anguish.

"Kelly, I'm gay for Christ's sake," Sebastian blurted out as he frantically wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, desperate to remove the sensation of his friend's lips. Until now he hadn't had the nerve to directly make this revelation about his sexuality to her, yet he had nevertheless been sure that she must have known. They often went shopping together and whenever she talked about guys Sebastian would eagerly listen and often even state his own opinion. "Did you really not know that?"

At those words Kelly burst into tears, turned around, and ran to the other side of the bleachers. She quickly climbed through the bars not caring about the rust stains which formed on her uniform blouse and skirt in the process. Kelly Everett _hadn't_ known that Sebastian Smythe was gay, but she made sure that within the span of a couple of hours the rest of the school all knew.

For the next seven months Sebastian was the victim of seemingly endless bullying, taunts, pranks, and more than a little light violence. Fortunately that summer Sebastian's father moved the family for about the fifth time in seven years and Sebastian didn't have to endure another year at that hellhole. Once it was over Sebastian filed away Kelly Everett and the rest of his schoolmates under a growing catalogue of 'painful past experiences.' Sebastian consoled himself with the thought that one day he would be a world-renowned singer/songwriter and then he could use all this unpleasant history to write a scathing tell-all book that would have the entire reading public hating these villains from his past on his behalf.

**-000-**

Sam sighed in frustration as he glanced at the metal gate blocking his path. He really didn't want to be here, but Finn had pleaded with him to go and Sam did feel like he owed it to Finn. After all Finn was his best friend and he was letting Sam stay at his house. He and Rachel had even driven to Kentucky to convince Sam to come back with them and he had to admit that he was indeed glad to be back. So Sam had agreed that he would at least come and hear what Sebastian had to say, for Finn.

Steeling his resolve Sam pushed open the unlocked gate to the park's botanical gardens. As soon as he walked in his eyes lit up. The gardens were absolutely beautiful, even in February, and Sam had never seen them before. Sam had always liked flowers. When he was a little boy before he started school he would happily spend all afternoon 'helping' his mother in the family garden. While he played with his little toy shovel and plastic garden hoe Sam would ask his mom all about the flowers and what colors they would be when they bloomed, eagerly memorizing all the details. Then when his dad would get home from work little Sam would proudly take him by the hand and lead him to the garden to show off the fruits of his labors. He often made his dad guess what each of the flowers were and what colors they would be, delighting in correcting his dad whenever he made a wrong guess.

After a few seconds Sam spotted Sebastian sitting on a bench under a very pretty tree that Sam couldn't identify. Sam took another moment to shake himself out of thoughts of his dad's 'black roses' and 'green daisies' and to remember that he wasn't here to reminisce about his childhood nor to take in the sights of the park; He had a task to do instead. As soon as Sebastian spotted him and gave him his trademark cocky smirk Sam decided that it probably wasn't going to be a particularly pleasant task either.

"What do you want?" Sam demanded as he approached the brunet Warbler.

"You," Sebastian answered with an arrogant smile.

"Yes me," Sam responded. "You asked me to come and here I am. So what do you want?"

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head slightly at Sam. The blond was quite adorable trying to look all tough and imposing; Sebastian decided that it reminded him of a puppy trying to scare away a bigger, more dangerous animal.

"I want _you_," Sebastian answered with a predatory smile.

"Me?" Sam asked as his face contorted with confusion and he tried to make sense of the response. "Well you can't have me," he answered after another moment.

"Oh really?" Sebastian inquired in a feigned surprised tone. "I heard _anyone_ could have you for the right price."

Hurt and then anger flashed across Sam's face. There was no misunderstanding that statement and Sam was stunned and furious that someone he barely knew had just said something like that to him. He wanted nothing more than to hit Sebastian, to wipe that cocky look right off his face, and then to _force_ him to get rid of those stupid pictures of Finn. Yet as he clenched his fists and glared at Sebastian he felt a nagging hesitation; he didn't quite feel right about his impromptu plan. Sam hated to be violent and he also knew that Sebastian was gay. It just didn't seem right to beat up a gay dude.

"Calm down, Clairol," Sebastian teased. When Sam's angry expression slowly shifted into one of confusion again, Sebastian clarified. "What, aren't you 'Nice N' Easy'?"

The anger returned to Sam's face in an instant and this time Sebastian thought perhaps Sam really would hit him so he quickly affected an innocent, mildly apologetic look. "Your hair, man. I was thinking you colored it. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh," Sam answered as most of his anger dissipated. "I do lighten it a little, now and then," Sam admitted self consciously. He had given up on pretending that his coloring was natural by this point. "But look, I just want to work stuff out and be on my way. My name is _Sam_ in case you really don't know or forgot, and I'd appreciate it if you'd just call me that."

"Okay Sam," Sebastian said in a warm voice as he gave the blond his least threatening smile. "Take a seat please," he requested patting the space next to himself on the bench.

Sam regarded him suspiciously for a moment before reluctantly sitting down.

"So, you're here because you want to avoid treating the internet viewing world to a sneak peak of Finn's little-"

"Yes," Sam cut in. "Come on, dude, it's not right to post fake naked pics of him. That's like really evil."

"And that's why I'm willing to get rid of them," Sebastian answered. Sam's face promptly started to light up, so Sebastian smirked and continued. "For a price."

"Yeah, kinda don't have any money, dude. I was homeless like less than a year ago," Sam answered shrugging.

"Oh I don't want money, Sam. I have plenty of that," Sebastian assured him.

"Oh well that's good," Sam said sarcastically.

"I want a kiss," Sebastian said, finally cutting to the chase.

"A kiss?" Sam asked surprised. "From me?"

Sebastian nodded and continued to smile pleasantly at his target.

"No way, I'm straight," Sam answered frowning at Sebastian.

"That's why I'm only asking for a kiss instead of a fuck," Sebastian responded still grinning. In fact he planned to get a fuck from Sam as well, but it would start with a kiss.

"Just...no," Sam said shaking his head. "That's gross."

"Gross!" Sebastian gasped dramatically as he played the card he had prepared. "I heard that you were less homophobic than most of the other guys, but obviously that isn't the case."

"What? No, I'm not homophobic!" Sam insisted shaking his head again. "I'm not homophobic at all, really. I have lots of gay friends. I just don't want to kiss you because I'm straight."

"You just said it was gross for two guys to kiss," Sebastian answered intentionally putting words into Sam's mouth. "That's clearly homophobic."

"It's not gross for two guys to kiss," Sam answered. "I mean not if they're both gay or bi guys. It's just gross to me to kiss a guy because I'm straight. Like it would be gross to you to kiss a girl."

"I've kissed girls before," Sebastian responded making eye contact with Sam to drive home his sincerity. "It's not_ gross_; it's just a harmless kiss."

"Well...I mean...no seriously no. I can't do that," Sam answered wrestling with himself. He was suddenly unsure if on some level maybe he was a little bit homophobic and hadn't realized it before.

"Because you're homophobic," Sebastian answered knowingly, as he watched Sam's resolve waver.

"I'm really not," Sam defended himself again, less confidently this time.

"Prove it," Sebastian answered with a cocky smile. "Come on, it's just a little kiss. And you're doing it for Finn."

Sam thought that over. He really did want to help Finn and now he also wanted to prove _to himself, _not to Sebastian, that he wasn't homophobic. Maybe one little kiss wouldn't be such a big deal if it would accomplish all that. "And you'll delete those pictures and never threaten to upload anything similar?"

"Absolutely, you have my word," Sebastian assured him knowing that he had won. Now he just had to make sure to lay the proper groundwork for the next part of his plan.

"Okay fine," Sam finally agreed already leaning forward to kiss Sebastian and get it over with. As he leaned in he suddenly found Sebastian's hand on his chest stopping him.

"Not so fast," Sebastian said as he lightly rubbed Sam chest, delighted by the hard muscle he felt underneath his thin t-shirt. He definitely wasn't going to just let Sam kiss him and then get out of his life. He was ultimately going to get Sam to go all the way and for that he knew that he had to get inside the other guy's head.

"But I thought you wanted a kiss?" Sam asked unsure of why Sebastian had stopped him.

"I do, but not just a little peck on the lips," Sebastian answered as he finally let the other shoe drop now that he had a preliminary agreement out of Sam. "We kiss for ninety seconds. A proper kiss with hands on each other."

"What! NO!" Sam declared jumping up and backing away from Sebastian.

"Hands above the waist," Sebastian assured him as he remained perfectly calm. "And tongue is optional. Only if you want it."

"I _don't_ want it," Sam said right away.

"Okay, then while we're kissing don't use your tongue," Sebastian answered casually, knowing that there would definitely be tongue in the kiss by the time he was done.

"We can't just do that. Ninety seconds isn't 'a little kiss' it's like full blown making out. No way," Sam insisted again.

"Because you're selfish and homophobic," Sebastian said in a sad, disappointed voice.

"I am not!" Sam insisted starting to feel angry again.

"Yes, you are. You're too homophobic to kiss a guy, even though you don't have to use tongue and I won't touch you below the waist. And you're too selfish to just do it for the guy who's letting you live with him and who even crossed state lines to help you escape life as a stripper. Jeez you're a terrible person, Sam. So selfish," Sebastian said self-righteously, deciding that gossip was indeed a wonderful thing. A few well-placed inquires and a little internet stalking and he practically had Sam's life story.

Sam looked hurt and ashamed of himself as he slowly slid back down onto the bench next to Sebastian. Finn really had done a lot for him, he had even been one of his first friends the year before when Sam had first started at McKinley. Sam did feel guilty letting him down. Plus Sam had always prided himself on being an open, non-judgmental person and yet here he was suddenly feeling like a bigoted homophobe.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Sebastian said soothingly as he shifted his approach back toward warming the boy up. "I shouldn't have said you were a terrible person."

"I try to be a good person," Sam said looking up at him and noticing Sebastian's green eyes for the first time. They were regarding Sam with a much more friendly, sympathetic look than he had ever seen from Sebastian before.

"And you are," Sebastian assured him gently patting his shoulder. "That's why you were stripping wasn't it? To help your family pay the bills and put food on the table." Sebastian already knew that this was the case, but now he wanted to stroke Sam's ego just a bit so that he would be in a better, more receptive mood in a few minutes when they kissed.

"Yeah, exactly!" Sam declared, relieved that Sebastian seemed to understand him after all.

"You know, a kiss isn't even as sexual or intimate as taking your clothes off," Sebastian said quietly.

"Well, it kinda is," Sam disagreed. "I mean you're like connecting with the other person physically in a personal way."

"Yeah...I understand. Guys are never willing to connect with me, physically or otherwise," Sebastian said in a sad voice. Lord was that ever a lie. He was touching and being touched by guys all the time, but Sam certainly didn't need to know that. Better if he felt sorry for Sebastian.

"Really?" Sam asked softly. He was surprised. He had been under the impression that Sebastian dated a lot and was popular at Dalton.

"Yeah, because I'm gay. Guys are just so homophobic," Sebastian said as he gave Sam a slightly suspicious look and scooted away from him a little bit. It worked; Sam immediately looked guilty and leaned closer to him again.

"I'm really not homophobic, man. But making out with another guy just doesn't seem right," Sam tried to explain.

"Because I don't deserve to be kissed or touched like a normal human being," Sebastian said bitterly.

"No, it's not that at all!" Sam insisted as he put his arm around Sebastian's shoulders and gave him a few friendly squeezes, both to comfort him and to make his point.

"I heard you weren't homophobic. That you had stood up for Kurt when he was being bullied. That's why I thought maybe you would understand what it feels like to be rejected because of your sexuality. But I guess a straight guy just can't get that."

"Well, why don't you just date a gay guy, or get a gay guy to kiss you?" Sam asked realizing that there was a very good alternative to Sebastian trying to get straight guys to touch and kiss him.

"Don't you think I've tried?" Sebastian asked with just enough edge to his voice to make it convincing. "Why do you think I was so interested in Blaine, huh?"

"But Blaine's with Kurt."

"Yeah, don't remind me. So where does that leave me, huh? It's not like Lima, Ohio is crawling with gay guys," Sebastian said sarcastically. Actually he had found quite a few gay guys in Lima, Ohio in the short span of time that he had lived there, but Sam didn't need to know that either.

"I'm sorry," Sam said. "But would it really make you feel that much better if we kissed?"

"Yeah, it would. It would be so reaffirming to my sense of self," Sebastian said parroting a phrase his therapist had used.

"Oh." That certainly sounded pretty important to Sam, but he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that he was being manipulated somehow. "You know blackmailing people is a really jerky way to do things," Sam remarked as he thought again about how evil Sebastian was being to Finn.

"I know," Sebastian answered looking properly ashamed of himself. "I guess I just got desperate."

"And you almost blinded Blaine with that slushie," Sam pointed out as he came up with another reason not to trust Sebastian.

"That was a total accident, I promise," Sebastian assured him.

"You admitted to Santana on tape that you put rock salt in it," Sam countered as he pulled his arm away from Sebastian's shoulders and decided that he was being lied to.

"Yes, and I _did_ put rock salt in it. Which I know was wrong," Sebastian said in a slightly frantic, slightly desperate voice which he was sure was just the right combination to assuage Sam's concerns. He had anticipated this objection as well. "It was never supposed to hit Blaine in the eye."

"It was supposed to hit Kurt," Sam said scowling at him.

"Yes, it was supposed to hit Kurt. But _not_ in the eye," Sebastian answered speaking the truth for once. That little scheme of his had indeed gone awry. "Think about the height difference, Sam," Sebastian continued reasonably. "Blaine is much shorter than Kurt. Eye-level for Blaine would have been well below Kurt's eyes. I just wanted it to sting a little, not blind anyone. But you're right it was wrong and reckless."

"So it really was an accident?" Sam asked one more time to be sure.

"Absolutely, I swear," Sebastian answered actually crossing his heart. It couldn't hurt to look adorable, even if Sam really was completely straight, which Sebastian wasn't entirely convinced that he was.

"Okay," Sam conceded feeling like maybe he had been wrong about Sebastian after all.

"Okay you'll kiss me?" Sebastian prodded slightly. He could practically taste Sam's full lips already.

"Okay I'll kiss you," Sam relented resolving himself to doing what needed to be done so that everyone could put this behind themselves.

"You really are a good person, Sam," Sebastian praised him in a full turnaround from his previous assessment. "Finn and Kurt are lucky to have you as a friend."

"Thanks," Sam answered smiling and feeling a little glow at Sebastian's kind words. Maybe kissing him really wouldn't be so bad.

"Just ninety seconds," Sebastian assured him holding up a timer function on his phone to show him. He had already planned to switch to the two minute one he had set once Sam wasn't paying attention.

"Okay," Sam said looking at the ground awkwardly. "Um, I'm kinda nervous," he admitted.

"Nothing to be nervous about," Sebastian said soothingly as he slid up against Sam until their thighs were touching. The blond seemed surprised but didn't make a move to pull away. Sebastian put one arm around Sam and then used his other hand to confidently tilt Sam's face toward him. Sam flinched but allowed the action. "It's just like kissing a girl."

"O...okay," Sam nodded against Sebastian's hand as he did so Sebastian stroked his face with his thumb. Sam wanted to object but he remembered the 'above the waist' rule and knew that he didn't really have grounds to. Although they hadn't actually started yet, he saw no reason to be a stickler, especially if it might offend Sebastian again.

"You have really pretty eyes, Sam," Sebastian said softly as he moved his face close to Sam's and looked directly into his eyes. This was the part where he needed to get inside Sam's head, make him feel special. Of course it didn't hurt that Sam really did have pretty eyes.

"Um, thanks," Sam said shyly, uncertain what to do with the compliment.

Sebastian leaned forward as though he was going to finally initiate their kiss but he stopped again just as Sam was about to close his eyes. "I hope you realize how good looking you are, Sam. You're a very handsome guy."

Sam smiled nervously. "You don't have to say that." All he meant was that Sebastian didn't need to say nice things to him. He kind of just wanted to get the whole thing over with, but Sebastian seemed to take it a different way.

"Oh I'm not just saying that," Sebastian countered earnestly as he stroked Sam's face softly. "You're really beautiful, Sam."

"Let's kiss," Sam said before realizing how odd the request felt coming from his lips. All this close proximity and Sebastian's compliments were confusing.

"Will you do me one small favor," Sebastian pressed gently, as though unsure of himself.

"What?" Sam asked, unavoidably staring into Sebastian's large green eyes.

"Will you kiss me. Initiate it I mean. It would mean so much more to me. Plus that way I can focus more on starting the timer. I know you wouldn't want to accidentally kiss me for too long," Sebastian said with a self-deprecating quality to his voice. Of course he knew that Sam would be kissing him for 'too long' but it certainly wouldn't be an accident. Sebastian used the momentary lull in conversation and activity to change the timer setting to two minutes as he literally held the device behind Sam's back. Then he placed the phone on the semi-flat top surface of the bench. He wanted both hands free while he kissed Sam. "I'll start the timer as soon as we start."

Sam felt even more uncomfortable initiating the kiss with Sebastian, especially since having their faces so close together for so long without kissing was starting to feel really awkward, but he decided it didn't matter who kissed whom first if it was the same length of time either way. If it meant more to Sebastian he might as well go along with it.

"Okay," Sam agreed softly as he continued looking into Sebastian's deep green eyes. In a way at this close range it was hard to tell that the eyes even belonged to a guy rather than a girl, except of course that Sebastian wasn't wearing any eye make up. It wasn't so bad though, the natural look. Sam decided that Sebastian had nice eyes too. However, by necessity Sam finally broke eye contact so that he could glance at the rest of Sebastian's face. He didn't want to accidentally miss his lips, yet as he looked at him so up close he was struck by the light freckles that were dusting Sebastian's face. It gave him an innocent quality and Sam decided that he really had been unfair in his assessment of the guy before.

"Ready?" Sebastian asked softly, pleased that Sam seemed to be studying him more carefully; that had been exactly his intent. Sebastian's warm breath tickled Sam's face as he spoke and he was sure that he heard a small sigh in response from the blond.

"Yeah, sorry," Sam answered as his own breath tickled Sebastian's face. It was such an oddly intimate position that they were in. Sam had never kept his face this close to someone else's without kissing them. It was like they were paused on the edge. Sebastian licked his lips, Sam assumed in unconscious anticipation. Yet as he did so Sam's attention couldn't help but to be drawn to his mouth. Sebastian certainly did have soft looking lips for a guy.

Sam slowly closed the remaining distance between them and pressed his mouth against Sebastian's. As he did so Sebastian let out a small, low sigh that Sam could feel against his face. Sam heard the beep of the timer and realized that Sebastian had officially started. _This won't be so bad_, Sam thought as he tasted Sebastian for the first time._ Just ninety seconds._

Sebastian gently tangled his fingers into Sam's hair and pulled him closer as he moved his other hand down to Sam's throat, enjoying the throb of the blond's pulse, a pulse which was definitely quickening. Sebastian let out another low sigh, this one more of a moan, as he caught Sam's bottom lip between his own and gently nipped at it, just hard enough to make it tingle. As expected Sam involuntarily repositioned it, opening his mouth slightly in the process. Sebastian took the opportunity to more forcefully take Sam's lip further into his mouth but he still didn't try to use his tongue yet.

Sam grunted slightly and wanted to pull away, but technically Sebastian hadn't broken the rules and besides he was holding Sam's head too close and too tightly for him to really move much. This was a kiss unlike any other Sam had ever had. Sebastian was more aggressive than all of his past girlfriends, except perhaps for Santana, but he still had a technique quite unlike Santana's. Sam nostrils were also being flooded with Sebastian's scent which Sam found more pleasant than he would have expected. It was an odd mix of cologne and what Sam could only assume was Sebastian's natural smell.

Sam's lip was starting to hurt a bit and so he moved it more toward the inside of his mouth, almost protectively; however, Sebastian's lips didn't let go and so in the process Sam drew the other guy's lips into his own mouth. Before he really knew what was happening Sam started exploring them with his tongue and then suddenly Sebastian's mouth was open and Sam realized that his tongue was now against Sebastian's.

Both boys sighed again and Sebastian continued to hold the back of Sam's head close with one hand while now shamelessly exploring his chest and stomach with his other hand. He was careful to avoid traveling too low, knowing that that would be a deal breaker; however, he also knew that he was 'winning' when moments later he felt Sam's hand reaching around to the back of his own head and pulling his face impossibly closer. Sam was definitely starting to get into it.

Sam decided that Sebastian was a very skilled kisser and without even realizing what he was doing he had given himself over to the kiss completely. He suddenly wanted to prove that he could kiss just as well, at least on some slightly sub-conscious level he wanted to prove that. On a more basic level he just wanted to kiss the warm, talented mouth, lips, and tongue that were entangled with his own. After a few seconds he was alarmed to notice that just as Sebastian was now openly exploring his chest and stomach with his hands so too were Sam's hands suddenly exploring Sebastian.

Sam started to pull his hands away, thinking that it might be a good idea to keep them safely folded in his lap to avoid giving Sebastian the wrong idea; however, just then Sebastian deepened the kiss and fully entered Sam with his tongue and then Sam found that he just didn't have the will to do it. Besides, touching was part of the arrangement, so Sam wasn't exactly do anything wrong by touching Sebastian. If he was going to kiss a guy anyway he figured he'd might as well get the full experience. Sebastian had worn a polo shirt, however, and as Sam's fingers continued exploring he suddenly felt them slip inside the top of Sebastian's shirt. Sam was startled by the sensation of warm, hot skin. He wanted to pull away now, he really did, but all at once Sebastian fully pressed their bodies together and instead of pulling away Sam's hand slid fully inside of Sebastian's shirt.

Sebastian was thoroughly pleased with the blond jock. He was surprisingly receptive to the kiss and seemed to match Sebastian move for move. This meant that as Sebastian heated things up so too did Sam. When Sam's hand found its way inside the top of Sebastian's shirt, Sebastian decided that it was a green light for his own probing digits and he wasted no time in snaking them up and under Sam's t-shirt. Sebastian's lust kicked into overdrive as he felt the unmistakable outline of well-defined abs and just a hint of a treasure trail. He pressed himself as closely to Sam as possible and cursed himself for not changing the timer to two and half minutes instead. He doubted the blond would have known the difference.

Sam once again wanted to pull away as he felt Sebastian's hand against the skin of his stomach, but he realized that one of his hands was still fully inside of Sebastian's shirt and he was alarmed to realize that he was now lightly tweaking Sebastian's hardening nipple. If he was doing that then Sebastian's fingers didn't really seem any more out of line and Sam had to admit that it felt good the way Sebastian was tracing the grooves of his stomach muscles. He hadn't actually had a make out session this intense for a long time and he couldn't deny that he was enjoying it at least a little.

Sam kept moaning into Sebastian's mouth and realized that he was so lost in the kiss that his ears were ringing. Wait, actually they were beeping. Beeping. That meant that the timer was going off. He could stop now...well he could stop, but he decided that he would kiss Sebastian just a little bit longer for good measure. After all he didn't want the other guy to say he had tried to shortchange him in time.

Sebastian wasn't sure what to do. He could shut off the timer and stop the incessant beeping. Perhaps then it wouldn't interrupt Sam, wouldn't weed its way into his consciousness. On the other hand, if he reacted to it that would be admitting that he had heard it. Perhaps it was best to act as though he hadn't heard it at all. Sebastian was still contemplating what to do as he felt Sam slowly withdrawing his tongue from Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian knew better than to try to stop him, but he did give him one last full on kiss as he sucked on Sam's lower lip hard, determined that the sensation of their kiss would linger on the blond's mouth.

"Time's up," Sam panted between breaths as his eyes remained closed and his face stayed close to Sebastian's. Neither guy had yet retracted their hands from inside the other's shirt yet.

"So it is," Sebastian acknowledged at last. He opened his eyes and looked at his make out partner. Sam's hair was all mussed up and his full lips were even larger than usual in their slightly swollen state. His eyes were still shut and Sebastian couldn't help noticing that his eyelashes were a light brown, almost dark blond. _Probably Sam's natural hair color_, Sebastian pondered as he slowly removed his hands from Sam's shirt and moved them to the jock's shoulders instead. Sebastian hated to remove his hands but he wanted to make sure that Sam would find himself touching Sebastian in an intimate way for longer than he himself was being touched. Sebastian knew that if Sam noticed that it would mess with his head a little. On the other hand Sebastian also wanted to make sure that things ended favorably, and so he gently squeezed Sam's shoulders and watched as his eyelids slowly fluttered open.

"Thank you, Sam, that meant a lot to me," Sebastian said with a soft smile as he held full eye contact with the blond teen. "I hope it wasn't a bad experience for you." Sebastian continued intentionally trying to plant the question in Sam's head in hopes that he would later explore whether or not it had been. "You have my word that I will destroy those pictures of Finn. Please apologize to him for me."

"Ye, yeah...okay," Sam said as he shook his head slightly to snap himself out of his dazed state. "B..bye Sebastian."

"Bye Sam," Sebastian answered. "See you soon I hope."

Sebastian watched as Sam stood up on wobbly legs and walked away. He enjoyed watching Sam's perky ass as it wiggled provocatively in his jeans. Sebastian had to wonder, had to hope, that Sam's walk was intentional, that he was putting just a little bit more sway in it. He didn't doubt that as a former stripper Sam knew a thing or two about seduction, and he really hoped that was what was happening, that Sam was intentionally trying to captivate his attention for just a bit longer. If so then that meant that the next stage of Sebastian's scheme would be even easier than he had anticipated; however, either way Sebastian knew that after a kiss like that he was well on his way to getting inside Sam's pants.

**-000-**

**End Note: Reviews are much appreciated. I have several things planned for these two; however, I also have a lot of other projects floating around in my head and I'm still working on the end of my Sam/Rory fic 'Making It Work'. So how long it takes me to update this story will probably largely be determined by how interested in it people seem to be.**


	2. Chapter 2: Friends

**What I Want**

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the reviews and story alerts! I really appreciate them and it motivated me to get the next chapter out as quickly as possible. Please let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 2 – Friends**

Sebastian was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling in frustration as he tried to figure out his feelings. Blake Behr, Sebastian's best friend, had made his own feelings abundantly clear.

"Suck my dick," he ordered again as he shoved Sebastian hard, causing him to tumble off of the bed.

A few minutes earlier Sebastian had vocalized his biggest secret, of his own accord, to someone for the first time. He didn't count the previous year at his old school when Kelly Everett had discovered the truth about his sexuality and then told all their schoolmates. This was different; this time Sebastian had told someone voluntarily. Someone he liked, someone he trusted...someone who really wanted his dick sucked for the first time.

"Geez man, what's your problem?" Blake asked as he sneered down at Sebastian. "You're a faggot. I know you want it. Just do it already," he said as he pulled his semi-hard cock out through his now unzipped fly and brandished it at Sebastian like a menacing roll of nickels.

Sebastian wasn't really sure what he had been expecting when he came out to Blake. He had thought that maybe Blake might ask some questions, maybe make sure that Sebastian wasn't attracted to him – which he wasn't – perhaps he would tease Sebastian, or maybe he would just be cool about it. But in none of the possible scenarios that Sebastian had rehearsed in his head had Blake casually said, "cool, then you can blow me," and then taken out his dick.

Yet that was exactly what had happened a little while ago; Sebastian was thoroughly confused. He was curious about sucking dick, and the request wasn't entirely unappealing, but he also had no romantic or sexual feelings whatsoever for Blake and had been hoping for some kind of support or understanding rather than a casual proposition for oral sex. Still, Blake Behr was his best friend and Sebastian was worried that he might tell people his secret if he didn't accommodate this request.

"Okay," Sebastian finally agreed as he knelt down in front of the bed between Blake's legs and tasted cock for the first time. He had expected to like it, but Blake's didn't taste very good and he now suspected that his friend might not have the best hygiene practices.

"Oh yeah, that's right, bitch boy!" Blake exclaimed as he held Sebastian's head still and started thrusting into his mouth. Sebastian gagged and tried to pull away but Blake wouldn't let him. "Be a good cocksucker now, and watch the teeth."

Sebastian had no idea what had gotten into Blake. He wasn't really an excessively nice person at any time, but he was usually pleasant enough and he had never acted like a total asshole in front of Sebastian before. Evidently he got really into dirty talk, or maybe he had just watched too much cheap porn. Whatever the case the verbal abuse continued as the encounter progressed.

"Oh yeah, pussy-boy suck my big, hard dick like a good little homo," Blake jeered as he pumped harder into Sebastian's mouth. A moment later and he was moaning out profanities and cumming. Pulling away wasn't really an option for Sebastian since Blake held his head too tightly. That meant that Sebastian had no choice but to endure the bitter taste of his friend's seed. A little while later when Blake had finally released him he spit out what hadn't gone down his throat into a nearby wastebasket.

"Thanks, man! That felt good. Bet you enjoyed it too, huh?" Blake said as he put away his cock and zipped up his pants.

"Oh yeah, it was a blast," Sebastian said sarcastically.

"Cool, we can do it again sometime then," Blake answered, oblivious to Sebastian's insincere tone. "Wanna play some video games?"

"Yeah sure," Sebastian answered with a shrug as he sat down next to Blake and accepted the proffered controller.

For the rest of the evening, and every time after that, Blake behaved perfectly normally toward Sebastian. The only exception was when he wanted his dick sucked during which times he seemed to channel the spirit of some evil porn actor. Sebastian never did learn to enjoy Blake's taste - which to his delight he found out later happened to be exceptionally nasty rather than typical of all dicks and cum – and he never particularly enjoyed the experiences at all. But it also wasn't all bad. Blake never outed him or teased him about it except during oral sex. It also gave Sebastian the chance to perfect his technique before he started doing it on guys he was actually interested in. All in all Blake wasn't an especially good friend, but he did happen to be the best friend that Sebastian had until his dad moved them yet again the next year. Sebastian's experiences with Blake also taught him a valuable lesson: he didn't really need to like someone all that much to have sex with them.

**-000-**

Sam was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling in frustration as he tried to figure out his feelings. As he had been leaving the park earlier that day Sebastian had politely commented that he hoped their kiss wasn't a bad experience for Sam which in turn had led Sam to ponder precisely that question as he drove himself back to the Hudson-Hummel home where he was temporarily staying since his parents were still living in Kentucky.

After some thought Sam had realized that the kiss hadn't been a bad experience per se; it was just different, very different. Kissing Sebastian was quite unlike kissing anyone else. His lips were different, his technique was different, and good god was his body ever different as Sam had discovered for himself while he was exploring it with his hands. That was the part that really confused Sam. After the kiss was over he had found his hand still inside of Sebastian's shirt fondling his chest. Then Sam realized to his surprise that Sebastian, an openly gay guy, wasn't even touching him anymore. The kiss had ended and Sebastian had gone on about his business, but Sam had remained dazed and touching him, and now he was once again thinking about him. What did any of that mean?

Sam couldn't be gay; it just didn't make any sense. He had always had relationships with _girls_ in the past, relationships he had most definitely enjoyed. He had even had sex with one of the girls he had met at Stallionz one night while he was working as a stripper. The sex had been great, and hot, and completely heterosexual. So why was this gay kiss thing still lingering on his mind? It wasn't as though he had ever actually _wanted_ to kiss Sebastian. He should have just been glad it was over and put the whole thing behind him. And perhaps he would have done just that if it hadn't been for Sebastian's friend request.

Sam had gotten home, told Finn and Kurt the good news that Sebastian's blackmail scheme was over, refused to give them any details, and then gone to his room and continued about his business. He had almost forgotten about the kiss when he abruptly got a friend request from Sebastian. Part of Sam wanted to just ignore it, to remind himself that this was the guy who had blackmailed him, threatened to post fake lewd pictures of Finn, nearly blinded Blaine, and generally been mean to Kurt. He had every reason to just disregard the message and never talk to Sebastian again. But he didn't. Instead he kept thinking about how apologetic Sebastian had been about those wrongs. How lonely and self-deprecating he had been. How he had actually seemed to care about Sam's feelings toward the end. Sebastian wasn't all bad. He deserved a friend, and after all it was just Facebook. Everyone was on Facebook; it was no big deal.

The approved friend request had been followed up with a message less than an hour later.

Sebastian: Hey Sam! It was really cool hanging out with you today. Thanks for restoring my faith in humanity ;-) Let's hang again soon. - Sebastian.

Sam had actually smiled when he read the message. He realized that Sebastian was probably just joking about Sam restoring his faith in humanity, but it did make him feel good nevertheless. It made him think that maybe he had shown Sebastian that some straight guys weren't homophobic after all. Sebastian had seemed kind of fragile underneath his sarcastic exterior and it seemed like an important lesson for him to learn. Sam had decided to respond.

Sam: Of course man. We should hang out sometime. You seem like a cool dude. Just let me know.

It wasn't a long message, and it was fairly non-committal, but Sam figured if Sebastian did want to hang out again he would get back to him. However, Sebastian hadn't gotten back to him. Instead later that night he had posted new pictures of himself. Pictures of himself wearing the same shirt that he had been in earlier that day. The same shirt Sam's hand had been in earlier that day. The buttons were all open, revealing a good portion of his chest.

Sam knew it was innocent enough, that people posted pictures on Facebook all the time, but for some reason it totally messed with his head and he couldn't help but imagine kissing and touching Sebastian again. Then another thought occurred to him; if Sebastian had been online and posted pictures since Sam's message then that must mean that he had read the message but not responded. Granted, it hadn't necessarily called for a response, but Sam now realized that he had kind of wanted one.

Sam decided he was being silly. That he was over-analyzing stuff and that there was no reason to think about it so much at all. If he wanted to hear from Sebastian he could just message him again and leave it less open-ended.

Sam: Hey I recognize that shirt! Anyway, wanna hit the mall this weekend, maybe have some lunch and chill?

Sam was proud of himself and pleased with his second message. He had joked about Sebastian's shirt to let him know there was no awkwardness and then he had offered semi-solid plans. The ball was definitely in Sebastian's court now. No reason to even think about it anymore. If Sebastian did want to be friends he would hit Sam back and if not, then no harm done. Case closed.

However, closed though the case may have been, the odd thing about dreams is that they aren't especially rational. Sam's rational brain had decided to quit thinking about Sebastian and their fleeting encounter, but for some reason Sam's dream brain had decided that it was the perfect topic to explore. And so Sam found himself staring at the ceiling trying to make sense of all the swirling thoughts in his head. He had already dreamed about kissing Sebastian at least five times that night and as he laid in bed, slowly getting sleepy and drifting off again, he found himself half dreading, half hoping that he would dream about kissing Sebastian a sixth time.

**-000-**

Sebastian smirked to himself as he read Sam's latest Facebook message. Everything was going perfectly; in fact it couldn't have been going better if Sebastian was dictating Sam's moves himself, which of course he sort of was. Sebastian even briefly wondered if Sam was enough of a challenge to prove interesting and worth the effort of seducing. However, Sebastian quickly dismissed that doubt, deciding that what Sam lacked in complication he more than made up for in general hotness.

In his wide and varied experience, Sebastian had found that the key to effective seduction was simply being patient and staying inside the other person's head. Sebastian knew that ironically at this point the best way to stay inside Sam's head was to ignore him. His earlier efforts to secure his position in Sam's mind had obviously been effective. Sam had accepted his friend request, messaged him back, and then most deliciously noticed and commented on the new pictures that Sebastian had posted.

It was tempting to respond to Sam's message and secure the plans for the weekend, but Sebastian knew that doing so would be a rookie mistake. Sure he would get to hang out with Sam again - and the way things were going that may indeed have been enough on its own - but if he simply made the plans now then Sam would be likely to do the very human, very male thing and tuck their engagement away in the corner of his brain until it was time to happen. No, that definitely wouldn't do at all. What Sebastian wanted was for Sam to obsess about it. To wonder if Sebastian was going to leave him hanging, to analyze his every word, to generally work himself into a delightful panic that only Sebastian himself could calm.

And so Sebastian didn't respond to Sam's message. He ignored him completely until late the next night. Until he was sure that Sam would be just about ready to give up on him and go on about his life. Then he set the hook and pulled him right back in. He tried to time it so that Sam would be likely going to bed shortly after reading his message. After all, what could be more powerful and effective than if Sam spent another fitful night thinking about Sebastian?

**-000-**

The next day at school was perfectly normal by all accounts. At least it would have been, except for the fact that Sam couldn't resist checking Facebook on his phone between every class. Sam decided that wasn't so weird though. Lots of people check Facebook all the time, no reason to worry about that. And of course it certainly didn't matter that Sam hadn't gotten any new messages.

Later that day when they got home from school, Finn popped his head into Sam's room. "Wanna play Call of Duty?" he asked.

"Sure," Sam agreed as he followed Finn to his room, intentionally leaving his phone behind on the bed. The way he saw it that would keep him from being tempted to continually check it that way he had all day at school. What Sam didn't count on was the fact that he would keep thinking about it and wondering if he did have any new messages.

"You seem kinda out of it, man. What's going on?" Finn asked a half hour later as he watched Sam get his ass kicked in the game yet again and noticed the distant look on his face.

"Oh nothing, just thinking," Sam responded, embarrassed that the topic of his thoughts had once again been Sebastian. The whole thing was starting to drive him crazy by this point. He had flat out asked Sebastian to hang out and the guy had had more than enough time to check his Facebook and respond. What was his deal? Why couldn't he just give Sam an answer and let him get on with his life?

"You wanna talk about it?" Finn asked.

Sam considered whether or not he did. On the one hand it would be kind of nice to talk out his feelings and get Finn's opinion and Finn was his best friend after all so it would make sense to talk to him about all this. However, on the other hand, he knew that Finn wouldn't be able to be objective about anything relating to Sebastian given how much he disliked and mistrusted the guy. Plus, it would just be really weird and embarrassing for Sam to explain that he was worried that another dude might not want to be his friend. Besides all that it was just completely out of the question to mention the fact that, 'hey, by the way I kissed him yesterday.' So no, talking to Finn about this wasn't a good idea.

"Nah, I'm going to go work on some homework. Sorry my head's not in the game. I'll catch you later," Sam said as he stood and left the room. Finn shrugged and returned his attention to the screen.

To Sam's disappointment when he logged on to Facebook on his computer - just in case the app on his phone was bugging out - Sebastian still hadn't sent him a new message. Sam was starting to get mad. He really didn't need this; he didn't need Sebastian. He had plenty of other friends and Sebastian wasn't _that _great of a kisser anyway, not that that point was at all relevant of course.

Later that night just as Sam was getting ready for bed and had decided to forget about Sebastian once and for all, the message finally came.

Sebastian: Okay

That was it, a single one word response. Four measly letters that didn't discuss a time, or a place, or anything. Sam found he was almost more frustrated by this short message than he had been by not receiving one at all. He quickly responded, thinking that maybe he could catch Sebastian before he signed off again.

Sam: Cool, so Saturday then? Where you want to meet and what time?

To his disappointment Sebastian didn't answer that night and Sam was left lying awake in bed analyzing his own message. Had he seemed too over-eager by responding right away? Should he have taken more initiative and suggested a time and place instead? Was this whole thing a big mistake to begin with?

**-000-**

Sebastian chuckled to himself as he saw Sam's response to his message come in. It had barely taken him three minutes to answer. That could only mean that his plan was either working perfectly and Sam had been on the edge of his seat all day or that in an amazing coincidence he had just happened to message Sam while he was on Facebook anyway. Certainly the second option was possible, but Sebastian had a feeling that that wasn't it. Either way Sam's message played perfectly into his hand.

Sebastian took a few minutes to lay the necessary groundwork for Saturday, not that Sam would know about that, certainly not yet. Then he went back to sexting a guy from his trigonometry class. He had already had sex with the guy once so he was considerably less interested in him than he had been, but he had to admit the boy had a flare for sexting and it was an activity Sebastian quite enjoyed. Sam would just have to wait until tomorrow for his answer.

**-000-**

The next day was Friday so Sam knew that if he and Sebastian were going to get together on Saturday then it would be up to Sebastian to let him know when and where at some point today. That wouldn't be so bad, just one short day.

After school Sam decided to hang out with Puck instead of sitting around waiting to hear from Sebastian like he had the day before. If anyone could distract him and think of something fun to do, it was Puck. Since Puck was eighteen and Sam had a fake ID that said he was too - left over from his Stallionz days - they ended up going to a bar and shooting some pool. Sam didn't normally use his fake ID since he'd just gotten it in the first place so that he could work at the strip club and bring in some extra money for his family, but he decided that he was entitled to a little bit of fun, and after all pool seemed harmless enough.

It had indeed started innocently enough. Sam and Puck were ragging on each other about who missed the easier shots and who could shoot the better combos, but then Puck had run into a couple of sorority girls he knew from parties at the local college. Puck had already been with Megan, but he was still looking to get to know Lindsay a little bit better. Megan didn't actually mind since she was more interested in Puck's handsome blond friend. The girls were under twenty-one as well so they recommended that Sam and Puck join them at their off campus apartment for a few drinks.

"Okay girls, we'll follow you," Puck shouted as he led Sam back to his car.

"Puck, I don't know about this, man," Sam said as soon as they were inside the car.

"What's to know? Hot girls, great tits, free alcohol. Don't over-think it, dude," Puck answered as he pulled out behind Megan and Lindsay's car.

Sam couldn't really argue with Puck's logic. He also didn't have that much choice since Puck was driving. Sure he could have insisted that Puck take him home, or he could have called someone to come and get him, but he was fed up with over-thinking. Over-thinking had already caused him two miserable days and what was so wrong with letting Megan, her tits, and her free alcohol take his mind off of Sebastian?

**-000-**

Sebastian kept glancing at his phone waiting for it to make a noise. He expected Sam to call, or perhaps to text if he was still trying to play it cool. What he didn't expect was for Sam to make no response whatsoever. It had been almost a half an hour since he had messaged his number to Sam on Facebook. No other words or explanation, just his number. Sam was supposed to call sounding mildly frantic and thoroughly relieved that Sebastian was finally ready to talk to him and right now they should have been finalizing their plans for the next day. Instead Sebastian decided to log back in to Facebook to see if maybe Sam had decided to message him through there instead.

**-000-**

The trouble with free alcohol is that it's quite tempting to over-indulge. At least that's what Sam had learned as he watched Puck, who was by all accounts was quite an experienced drinker, get absolutely shitfaced doing tequila shots with Megan and Lindsay. Sam had taken a couple of shots too but then had quit. He had no intention of going home drunk, especially not while the Hudson-Hummels were being gracious enough to let him stay in their spare room. Coming in drunk or being hungover the next day would be completely disrespectful. It would also get Sam in a world of trouble if his parents found out. So Sam had two shots and then politely passed on the rest.

He was proud of his self-control...and so was Megan as she was sure to keep pointing out every few minutes while she sat on his lap half drunk out of her mind. Puck had certainly been right about the great tits, but great or not Sam didn't feel right about touching them while she was so thoroughly out of her head. Puck didn't seem to share this concern as he took a very drunk Lindsay to her room. On the other hand Puck was quite drunk himself, so maybe that put them on even footing.

"Haves I...Haves I tole youuu, Sam? Tole you how impressssedt I am by yours selp-control?" Megan asked as she leaned her head against Sam's, pleased with the way the added stability of his head stopped hers from spinning so much.

"Yeah, I think you mentioned that, Megan," Sam said kindly as he held her hand.

"You know Sssam. Most guys...most guys would haves touchedt my breassssts by now," she remarked, then she leaned in close to his ear as though she had a secret. "With their hannns"

"Just with their hands?" Sam asked conversationally.

"No," Megan answered with a giggle. "Alots of guyss would use other things too. Do youuuu know what your friend Puck used, Sssam?"

"Oh, I can only imagine Megan," Sam responded hoping that should would leave it at that.

"Ssam, will youuuu take...take me to bed?" Megan asked as she let her body go slack against Sam's.

"Well, um..." Sam didn't know what to do. She was hot, but no way did that seem right given her present state, but how could he say no to something like that without hurting her feelings?

"I don care ifs we haves sext or if we...or if we sssleep. But I want to lay down now," She murmured.

"Okay, Megan, I'll take you to bed," Sam answered as he lifted the small young woman in his arms and carried her down the hallway.

Sam carried her into the hallway where he was confronted with three doorways to choose from. Based on the sounds coming from one of the rooms it was obvious that this one wasn't hers, and the bathroom door was partially open so that ruled out another possibility, leaving only one possible door as a candidate for her bedroom. Sam pushed the door open with his foot and was pleased to see that the bed was near the doorway of the small room. He quickly, but gently laid her down on the bed.

"Sexxxx?" she slurred barely conscious by this point.

"No honey, you just go to sleep," Sam answered as he rolled her onto her side. He seemed to remember hearing somewhere that that was the safest position for someone who passed out drunk. Sam then went to the kitchen and returned to her room with a full glass of water, hoping that if she woke up in the night she would take a few drinks, or at least that she would be glad to have it in the morning.

Sam went back to the now empty living room and sat down on the couch, wondering what to do next. As things currently stood he was basically stranded at this apartment until morning. So he decided to call Finn and see if he could come and get him. Either he could and Sam would get to go home, or he couldn't, but at least then Finn would know where he was and he could let Burt and Carol know so Sam wouldn't get in trouble. Either way calling Finn seemed like the best move.

When he pulled his phone out of his pocket he noticed that his Facebook app had a new notification. It was then that he remembered for the first time since they had left the bar that he had been waiting for Sebastian to finalize their plans for tomorrow. He opened the message and was surprised to see nothing but a phone number. Obviously it had to be Sebastian's so Sam saved it in his phone and then texted him.

**-000-**

Sebastian was practically irate by the time he heard the beep of Sam's text message. How could Sam take this long to call or text when they were supposed to be meeting up tomorrow? It was so inconsiderate.

Unknown number: You awake?

Sebastian glared at the phone. So Sam was going to pretend he had just gotten Sebastian's message. What a silly game. Sebastian started to leave him hanging until morning but reconsidered. He was worried that if he did that then their plans really might fall through and then all his effort would go up in smoke. Sebastian saved the new number in his phone and sighed as he tapped out a short response.

Sebastian: Yep

That ought to be suitably vague. Sebastian expected that Sam would have trouble interpreting his tone and get worried. Then he would almost certainly text some general apology for not responding sooner and they could take it from there. That's why Sebastian was slightly surprised a few moments later when his phone rang and the caller ID indicated that it was his newest contact. So Sam liked a more personal touch; Sebastian could work with that.

"Hello," Sebastian answered in an unreadable tone.

"Hey dude," Sam said pleasantly. "Sorry I didn't see your message sooner. I had a crazy night."

"Oh did you now?" Sebastian responded, pleased that he had gotten his apology but mildly disappointed that Sam didn't seem more worried about it.

"Yeah, I just finished taking a drunk girl to bed," Sam remarked with a slight laugh, thinking it would be a good conversation starter.

"Did she throw up on your cock?" Sebastian inquired. He wanted to make it clear from the start that Sam wasn't going to be able to out do him when it came to talking dirty. Even if it did involve straight sex.

"Oh uh, no we didn't have sex. She was really drunk, I didn't want to take advantage," Sam said casually. He wasn't the type of guy to pretend he'd done stuff he hadn't. That always led to more trouble than it was worth. "I literally just carried her to bed so she could pass out."

"You're such a boy scout," Sebastian remarked with a mostly genuine smile on his end of the phone. He was glad Sam wasn't having sex with a girl when he was supposed to be obsessing over Sebastian. That would have made things much more difficult. Besides 'chivalrous Sam' was much more in line with his original take on the guy and was definitely the personality type he intended to appeal to tomorrow.

"Well now I'm stuck here," Sam lamented with more amusement than irritation in his voice. "I need to call Finn in a bit to come and get me, but I wanted to see what the deal was for tomorrow."

"Where exactly is here?" Sebastian inquired as he saw an angle he could work. The next part of the plan was all about building a short-term friendship so that Sam would feel comfortable around him. What better way to do that than to rescue him from a tight situation? It was a slight reversal of the plan Sebastian already had in mind, but he could roll with it.

"I'm actually not real sure," Sam admitted. "We followed them here."

"And who are we?" Sebastian asked, wanting to know who else he might be dealing with. He could obviously rule out Finn which was definitely a good thing under the circumstances.

"Huh?" Sam asked not understanding Sebastian's question at first and wondering if he was referring to himself and Sam. A moment later he replayed his own last sentence in his head and realized what he meant. "Oh, me and Puck."

"Oh Puck is stuck there too?" That wasn't good news. Sebastian didn't like Puck and was hesitant to even try anything on Sam with Puck around.

"Nah, not really stuck. He's drunk but he's probably just going to pass out here if he hasn't already. His car is here so he can just go home in the morning," Sam answered.

"Ah, well look up your address and text it to me and I'll come and get you," Sebastian offered casually.

"Oh you don't have to do that!" Sam exclaimed. He couldn't believe Sebastian was willing to just drop everything and come and get him in the middle of the night. They hardly knew each other, well unless you counted the making out. Sam decided that he had definitely been wrong about Sebastian before; he really was a nice guy.

"Don't be silly, Sam. What are friends for?" Sebastian answered in a flirtatious voice that he knew Sam probably wouldn't pick up on. "Besides it'll give us a chance to finalize our plans for tomorrow."

"Wow, thanks man!" Sam said happily. He was actually kind of glad he wouldn't have to bother Finn after all. "I wonder how I can find out the address though. Everyone who knows is either unconscious or having sex."

"Lucky devils!" Sebastian joked before offering a more constructive suggestion. "Try looking for an unopened piece of mail. Or if you have it on your phone you can look up your own location on Google Maps."

"Oh that's a good idea," Sam answered. "Thanks! I'll text you the address in just a bit."

**-000-**

**End Note: Uh oh! Sebastian is coming to get Sam and I still haven't decided yet if he's going to take Sam back to Finn and Kurt's or if he's going to talk Sam into spending the night at his place. Either way, next chapter will have considerably more Sam/Sebastian dialogue which I quite enjoy doing. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter if you get a chance. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3: Protection

**What I Want**

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took awhile to update. My boyfriend had a little vacation from work so it disrupted my writing schedule a bit since I spent more time with him. Anyway, I hope this chapter proves to have been worth the wait! Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed the last two chapters. You guys are awesome!**

**Chapter 3 – Protection**

Sebastian felt nervous as he opened the door of his brother's car and tentatively toed the concrete of the parking lot with one shaky foot.

"For Christsake, Seb, get out of the damn car. I don't have all night," Michael Smythe growled at his younger brother. It was Friday night and he was on his way to a party. He would have been there already if his father hadn't insisted that he drop Sebastian at the movie theater on the way.

"Can't we pull up closer?" Sebastian asked irritably as he withdrew his foot from the concrete and glared at his brother. Michael had parked in the farthest corner of the lot, as far away from the entrance to the theater as he could get. It was dark, and late and Sebastian had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as he took in the shadowy figures of dozens of teenagers scattered randomly throughout the lot.

"And risk having someone I know see me with _you._ I don't think so," Michael taunted. "Now get out before I throw you out."

"Let me call Blake to see if he's inside yet," Sebastian protested as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. They were supposed to meet at the theater and then Blake's mom would pick them up later, but sometimes Blake ran late and Sebastian didn't want to risk being stranded alone.

"Call him after you get out, dickhead," Michael countered as he shoved his brother hard. Sebastian didn't fall out of the call but he had to hang on to the door to keep his balance. With his brother continuing to push him it was easier to get out than to continue struggling with him.

"You're such an asshole, Mike!" Sebastian shouted as he slammed the car door. He barely had time to step away before his brother was gunning the engine and barreling out of the parking lot.

Sebastian took a moment to survey his surroundings. To get to the distant theater entrance he could either walk straight down the row he was on, which would take him past a loud bunch of kids he vaguely recognized from his school, or he could cut down a few rows and then back over. That route would take him in the most deserted part of the parking lot for most of the walk, but it seemed like a safer bet than walking alone past a group of his rowdy peers.

Unfortunately as Sebastian discovered a couple of minutes later safety is often a relative term.

"Where you going, faggot?" a heavyset teen with short hair, jeered as he stepped out of the shadows between a van and a large truck.

Sebastian felt his blood run cold as he heard the hostile sneer and glanced at the older boy before he could stop himself. He quickly looked away and sped up, hoping the guy wouldn't follow.

"Davis asked you a question, bitch!" a tall guy with bad acne exclaimed as he stepped from around the side of the truck and directly into Sebastian's path. Startled, Sebastian tried to stop as quickly as he could, but he was nevertheless unable to avoid crashing directly into the new guy's chest, and involuntarily bracing himself with his hands as he collided.

"You feeling me up, pervert?" the guy shouted as he shoved Sebastian backward into Davis.

"Don't touch me either, queer!" Davis barked as Sebastian stumbled back against him. He grabbed Sebastian's shoulders and shoved him sideways against the back the truck. "I think we need to teach this little homo some respect, John."

Sebastian tried to steady himself as he clutched at the tailgate of the truck. He turned around just in time to be hit in the gut by acne-covered John.

"Agreed," John snarled as he shoved Sebastian backward, again slamming him into the truck. This time Sebastian lost his balance and fell, the truck's tow hitch digging into his back as he sank to the ground.

"Looks like he's practically humping my truck," John laughed as he kicked Sebastian's leg.

Sebastian felt tears beginning to sting his eyes. He knew that crying would only make things much worse, but he was scared, in a lot of pain, and very embarrassed. As John kicked his leg, Sebastian covered his head with arms, certain that his attackers would soon begin an all out pummeling now that he was down. As he braced for the next blow Sebastian heard a loud squeal of brakes and realized that another car had stopped next to them._ Great, more people to watch,_ he thought bitterly as he clenched his eyes shut.

John and Davis whirled around in surprise as the car stopped and a larger, older teen they didn't recognize jumped out.

"What the fuck do you dickheads think you're doing?!" Michael Smythe exclaimed as he slammed the car door and glared at his brother's tormentors, slowly and menacingly walking toward them.

John and Davis decided simultaneously that a two against two fight, especially with this angry, dangerous looking new guy wasn't worth the trouble and quickly turned and ran, scrambling into the truck. By the time Michael had reached Sebastian, John had started the truck and was pulling away through the empty parking space in front of them.

"AKL 852," Michael said as he offered Sebastian a hand up.

"What?" Sebastian asked in confusion as he slowly grabbed his brother's outstretched hand and climbed to his feet.

"Their license plate number," Michael explained as he looked Sebastian over for any signs of serious injury. "AKL 852. Remember that. Dad's going to sue their asses off."

"Why did you come back?" Sebastian asked as Michael opened the passenger's side door for him.

"You left your wallet," Michael answered as he pulled it out of his jacket pocket and tossed it into Sebastian's lap. "Anyway, you're a spoiled little prick, Seb, and you basically ruin my life just by breathing, but no one but me is ever going to kick your ass and get away with it."

**-000-**

Sam felt nervous as he opened the door of Sebastian's car and tentatively climbed in. He was grateful that Sebastian was picking him up from the drunk girls' apartment, but he suddenly felt a little bit awkward being alone in the car with him. This was the guy that he had made out with after all, and he still barely knew him.

"Hi dude," Sam greeted him, as he closed the door and fastened his seat belt. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"Hi Sam, of course I came for you." Sebastian answered as he casually reached across the car, grabbed Sam's chin, and pressed a quick kiss to the startled blond's lips. It was a risky, but calculated move. He knew Sam wasn't the type to haul off and hit him without asking for an explanation first.

"Wha-?! Wh, why did you do that?" Sam asked as he started to reach for the door handle again. Sebastian was concerned that he might actually try to get out of the car, so he quickly started pulling away from the curb to dissuade his passanger.

"I'm gay, Sam. That's how I always greet my friends," Sebastian answered in a calm, soothing voice. "I didn't think it would bother you."

"It's kinda weird, man. I'm more of a handshake or nod kinda guy," Sam responded.

"Oh," Sebastian said in a quiet tone as he let a look of hurt and embarrassment wash over his face.

Sam watched with growing guilt as he realized that he had hurt Sebastian's feelings. He didn't think it was out of line to ask Sebastian not to kiss him like that, but he could understand why Sebastian might not think it was a big deal. They had already made out once before, and if Sebastian usually greeted his friends that way it kind of made sense that he would do it with Sam too.

"Hey um, I didn't mean to like, upset you or anything, Sebastian," Sam said awkwardly a couple of minutes later.

"No no, it's my fault, Sam," Sebastian insisted as he drove. "I keep forgetting I can't just be myself around people,"

"Of course you can!" Sam protested right away.

"Obviously not," Sebastian answered with a dismissive laugh as he continued to look ashamed and hurt. He knew he had Sam right where he wanted him.

"No man, really. I want you to be yourself around me. Look, it just surprised me that's all, but it's fine."

"Great," Sebastian responded as he shifted into a brighter mood. "You have really sensual lips by the way, Sam. I'm just telling you that as a friend," Sebastian assured him with a warm smile as he continued driving back to his own house, pleased that Sam hadn't seemed to notice or question their destination. If he could keep Sam distracted a little while longer he should be home free.

"I've never had a friend tell me that before," Sam answered awkwardly. He felt like he was getting a lot of mixed signals and he really thought Sebastian was hitting on him again, but he hated to call him out on it when he had just cheered up again.

"Your friends are idiots, Sam," Sebastian responded, completely sincere in his evaluation.

"They are not!" Sam defended as a stormy look took over his face and he glared at Sebastian.

"I mean for not noticing how adorable you are, Sam," Sebastian said calmly with a wink.

"Well I don't...My friends don't...we just don't say stuff like that," Sam finished lamely as a slight blush crept into his cheeks. He still felt uncomfortable, but he was also too confused by the compliment to stay mad.

Sebastian reached across and patted Sam's shoulder reassuringly, leaving his hand in place as he spoke. "I don't mean any harm, Sam. I'm a bit of a flirt, but I assure you I'm just joking around. You really are quite adorable though, and I meant what I said about your amazing lips, but I totally understand and respect that you're straight. Believe me, I'm not going to try anything."

Sebastian had always found that he could convincingly say just about anything that suited him and as Sam's tense, confused mood shifted to one of calm and contentment Sebastian knew that his brief speech had proven quite effective.

"Thanks man, sorry I freaked out," Sam apologized as he patted Sebastian's hand, which was still resting on his shoulder. He realized that he was really starting to like Sebastian and was kind of excited about having such a cool new friend. "You're really great, Sebastian. Thanks again for coming to get me," Sam said as he finally took a moment to look around at his surroundings. He then realized that they were in an expensive neighborhood that he was only slightly familiar with. "Hey um, where are we?"

"Pine Ridge Circle and Fairview," Sebastian responded as he finally removed his hand from Sam's shoulder and gestured toward a street sign, giving an accurate and precise but completely unhelpful answer.

"Uhh...is that near Finn and Kurt's house?" Sam asked feeling pretty sure that it wasn't.

"No, silly, it's near my house," Sebastian answered as he turned down his road.

"I thought you were taking me back to Finn's?" Sam asked with confusion.

"Wait, didn't we talk about this on the phone?" Sebastian asked as his own face contorted with confusion and he seemed to be thinking hard. "Didn't we say how it would be easier for you to just spend the night at my place and then we could hang out tomorrow?"

Sebastian figured that there was only a slim chance that he could convince Sam that they had indeed had that conversation and made that decision. He knew the only way it would work was if Sam had been drinking enough, or if the boy was such an airhead that he couldn't be sure. However, regardless of whether or not Sam believed it, Sebastian was quite sure that he could convince Sam that he himself had believed and had just made an honest mistake.

Sam thought hard for a couple of seconds as Sebastian turned into his driveway and let the car idle in front of the garage. He replayed their conversation over in his mind to be sure. "Nope, I don't think we talked about that."

"Oh god, Sam! I'm so sorry," Sebastian exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment. "I must be more out of it than I thought. It's getting kind of late and I didn't get much sleep last night. We totally had that conversation in my head, but I guess it only got that far," Sebastian joked lightly while continuing to look annoyed with himself. "Wow! Can't believe I did that. I'll take you back to Finn's," Sebastian finished as he shifted into reverse and then stopped abruptly again. "Hey, you want to come in real quick and see my house while we're here?"

"Yeah sure," Sam answered thinking he'd might as well. He unbuckled his seat belt as he continued to think. "You know if it's cool I guess I can just stay here tonight. It does kinda make sense like you thought in your head. I'll just text Finn and let him know."

Sebastian smiled and pressed the button to open the garage. Sam was so easy going that this had been even easier than he was expecting. His plan was to get him inside and then start yawning and acting really tired, but Sam had just saved him a whole step.

"Great," Sebastian said as he pulled into the garage and parked the car. "Don't worry, I have an extra toothbrush you can use, and any spare clothes you might want."

Sebastian led Sam through the garage and into the house. As soon as he entered he realized that his father and step-mother were in the living room so he quickly detoured himself and Sam straight upstairs to his bedroom, deciding that the tour could wait.

"Shouldn't we say hi to your parents?" Sam inquired as he followed Sebastian into his room.

"No, we're not very close," Sebastian answered as he took off his shoes.

"Aww, I'm sorry to hear that," Sam responded as he decided to follow suit and remove his own shoes.

"It's not a big deal," Sebastian answered dismissively. He knew that he was missing another opportunity to garner Sam's sympathy, but he simply didn't want to discuss his family. "Are you close with your family?" Sebastian asked politely to shift the focus as he sat down on his bed and motioned for Sam to take a seat next to him. He was already well aware that Sam was indeed close with his family, but he suspected asking him about it would be a good way to earn his trust.

"Yeah, we're pretty close," Sam said as he took a seat next to Sebastian on the bed. "It's really hard living away from them. I kinda don't know if I'm even making the right decision. Maybe I should have just stayed in Kentucky."

"Do you want my opinion?" Sebastian asked as he patted Sam's knee and was pleased when the blond didn't flinch or seem to react to the touch at all.

"Sure," Sam answered.

"Your family is going to be your family all your life. You only get one shot at high school. I say do it right. Besides, I know how lucky the New Directions are to have you, and even though you are competition for the Warblers I'm really glad you're here too," Sebastian said sweetly as he gave Sam his most charming smile and continued to hold his knee.

"Thanks," Sam answered as he returned Sebastian's smile. He couldn't get over how warm and friendly the guy was and as he glanced up to make eye contact with Sebastian he was startled by how compelling his dark green eyes were. All of a sudden Sam blushed and stood up pretending to stretch. "I'm getting pretty sleepy."

"Pretty sleepy indeed," Sebastian remarked flirtatiously.

"Huh?" Sam asked as he looked at Sebastian questioningly. Was Sebastian calling him pretty?

"I'm sure you must be tired, Sam," Sebastian clarified as he rose to his own feet. "I'll get you some pajamas...or do you normally sleep nude?"

"Um, pajamas are fine," Sam responded.

"Pajamas it is then," Sebastian said cheerfully as he crossed the room and went to the dresser where he kept them. "What's your favorite color, Sam?"

"Blue, but any color is fine," Sam answered taken off guard by the question.

"Blue it is then," Sebastian said as he pulled out a cobalt blue pair. "We gays pride ourselves on clothes selection," Sebastian said with a wink as he passed Sam the sleepwear, intentionally brushing their fingers together briefly in the process.

"Thanks," Sam said, unsure of how else to respond to Sebastian's joke.

"Here, you can use my bathroom," Sebastian said as he crossed the room and opened the door to his en suite restroom. "There are extra toothbrushes under the sink."

"Can I use the shower too?" Sam asked. The pool hall hadn't smelled particularly nice and after his long day he knew he would enjoy a good, hot shower.

"Hmm, a hot, naked guy in my shower? Well I _guess_ that'll be alright," Sebastian said with a smirk and another wink.

Sam's eyes went wide in surprise at Sebastian's remark but he reminded himself that Sebastian had said earlier that he liked to flirt and joke around so he decided not to make too much of it as he entered the washroom and locked the door behind himself.

"Feel free to jerk off," Sebastian called through the door, throwing in a small laugh so that Sam wouldn't be completely freaked out.

Sam paused as he was removing his shirt and wondered if he'd heard Sebastian correctly. He was definitely the most confounding guy Sam had ever met. Sometimes he seemed to be openly hitting on Sam and came off as downright rude, but other times he was so nice and fun to be around. Sam decided he would need to get to know Sebastian better to properly understand him.

After he had showered, brushed his teeth, and dressed in the pajamas Sebastian had given him, Sam emerged from the bathroom to find that Sebastian had also changed his clothes, or at least removed quite a few of them. He was now sprawled out on his stomach, laying across the bed wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. Without even realizing what he was doing Sam glanced at Sebastian's firm, perky looking ass.

"Ah, you're done," Sebastian commented as he rolled onto his back and stretched, pleased by the way Sam seemed to take notice. "You okay?"

"Huh?" Sam asked slightly dazed before he abruptly realized that he had been checking Sebastian out. He shook his head as if to clear it from the unusual thoughts.

"Have you ever looked at a guy before, Sam?" Sebastian asked softly as he watched the confusion play out on Sam's face. "I mean _really _looked at one."

"I'm not gay," Sam snapped defensively as he looked away from Sebastian. He couldn't figure out what was going on in his head and he was even more terrified that Sebastian had seemed to notice.

"I didn't say you were," Sebastian said soothingly. "But you might just be curious. A lot of people are curious, Sam. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I know there's not, but I'm really not curious, not at all," Sam insisted trying to keep the fear and anger out of his voice. He didn't think it was really Sebastian's fault that he had looked. The guy should be able to sit around in his underwear in his own room if he wanted to, but be that as it may, Sam was frustrated that Sebastian seemed insistent on trying to discuss this.

"You know, it's just more awkward with you carefully looking away like that. Do you do that when you're in the locker room?" Sebastian inquired hoping to keep the wheels in Sam's head turning.

"No, it's not a big deal in the locker room. I don't like look, or look away. I just act normal," Sam answered.

"Oh you _act_ normal?" Sebastian said questioningly.

"I am normal!" Sam snapped finally looking at Sebastian again with a hostile glare. Why couldn't he just let this drop?

"And I'm not normal?" Sebastian asked in an angry tone of his own as he finally sat up.

"I didn't say that!" Sam countered as he folded his arms in irritation. He was sick of Sebastian putting words in his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Sebastian said in a more soothing voice as he stood up and gently touched each of Sam's arms, encouraging him to unfold them and relax. He figured there was a good chance that Sam might shove him away, but once again he was delighted when he didn't. "I think I'm just overly sensitive about homophobia. I've been treated badly quite a few times because of it."

"I'm not homophobic," Sam insisted firmly as he made eye contact with Sebastian.

"I know, and I'm really going to try to trust you, Sam." Without waiting for a response Sebastian pulled Sam in for a tight hug. At first Sam didn't seem to know how to react but after a few moments he tentatively raised his hands to Sebastian's bare back and returned the gesture. "Will you do me a favor, Sam?" Sebastian asked as he continued hugging the blond jock.

"Of course," Sam answered, involuntarily squeezing Sebastian a little bit more tightly. He kind of liked the feel of Sebastian's warm skin under his fingers.

"Will you try to trust me too?" Sebastian asked as he finally pulled back enough to look Sam in the eye. Their faces were still very close and Sebastian was quite certain that it was making Sam uncomfortable.

"I..I do," Sam stuttered. "I do trust you."

"Good," Sebastian said softly as he continued staring into Sam's pale green eyes. "Then will you promise me something else?"

"Okay," Sam said as he tried to pull away. Sebastian didn't release him however and he didn't want to upset their newly re-established peace so he didn't force it.

"One time when I was a kid and I first started having _those_ types of feelings, I looked at some guys in the locker room while we were changing. I couldn't help it," Sebastian said defensively as though preempting any objection Sam might have intended to make. "I was just so curious you know?" Sam gave a small nod since it seemed like the only appropriate response. "Anyway, they caught me and they kicked my ass big time."

"Ouch, that sucks, dude. I'm sorry," Sam said squeezing Sebastian reassuringly again. This had to be the longest hug he had ever had, but the guy just didn't seem to want to let go and since he was talking about personal stuff Sam still didn't feel right about trying to push him away.

"Yeah, it was bad." It was also a completely made up story, but Sam obviously bought it. "Anyway, I know you said you weren't curious at all, but will you promise me that if you ever get curious you'll let me know. Because I'd totally be okay with helping you out, and I'd never judge you or tell anyone. I just wouldn't want what happened to me to happen to you." With that Sebastian finally broke the prolonged eye contact and once again enveloped Sam in a tight embrace.

Sam didn't know what to do as he awkwardly continued to return the hug. He was kind of mad again that Sebastian was still pressing the issue, but his intentions were obviously good so he didn't feel like he should argue. On top of all of that his own head was beginning to spin as he thought back to the way he had looked at Sebastian when he first entered the room. Was he curious? Then his mind raced back to when they had been making out in the park. The way Sebastian's chest had felt under Sam's fingers, the way his surprisingly toned, muscular back felt right now under Sam's fingers. Maybe he was curious after all.

"Now, let's go to bed," Sebastian said abruptly as he released Sam and stepped away.

"Okay," Sam agreed still distracted by his thoughts as he took a seat on Sebastian's bed.

Sebastian grinned, this was almost too good to be true. "I was going to take you to the guest room, but you're definitely welcome to share my bed."

"Huh?!" Sam asked wide-eyed as he realized that he had indeed been thinking on some level that they were going to share a bed.

"It's fine. It'll be kind of nice," Sebastian said as he switched off the light and climbed in on the other side.

Sam felt his heart starting to race as he sat on the edge of Sebastian's bed in the now dark room. He suddenly felt absolutely terrified for some reason. He really wanted to ask to go to the guest room, but he was also just so...so completely _confused._ That he didn't know what to say or do. To his horror he realized that part of him did want to share the bed with Sebastian. Part of him even wanted to take the Warbler up on his offer to help Sam satisfy his curiosity, curiosity which Sam had never even realized existed until now.

"You'll be more comfortable if you lay down," Sebastian remarked.

Sam wordlessly complied as he laid back across the plush bed and wrestled himself under the covers. He flinched when his leg accidentally brushed against Sebastian's.

"I don't bite, Sam," Sebastian joked as he reached out and took Sam's hand under the covers. "Good night," he added giving it a little squeeze and then letting go before Sam had a chance to react.

Rather than falling asleep, which Sebastian seemed to do almost instantly, Sam laid awake for over an hour trying to make sense of the confusing swirl of feelings in his head. As he laid there next to Sebastian his mind couldn't help but continue playing over all the erotic moments in their short friendship. The making out in the park, the feel of Sebastian's chest, the casual way he had kissed Sam earlier in the evening, the way his round, firm ass looked in the snug black boxer briefs. These were all images and experiences which Sam knew he shouldn't have really given a second thought to. Sebastian was just a guy, so what did it matter how he kissed, felt, or looked?

Yet, just by labeling these experiences as 'erotic' Sam knew that he had crossed a line within himself. If it were all completely harmless, all boring and uninteresting, then Sam knew that he wouldn't have been laying there thinking about it and calling it 'erotic'. Sam wasn't sure what exactly that meant for him though. He had always been attracted to girls; he was _still_ attracted girls. Just to make sure of that fact Sam replayed other 'erotic' scenes over in his head. The way Megan's chest looked in her tight t-shirt, the way she felt sitting on his lap, how exciting it had been when she took a body shot from Lindsay earlier in the night. Sam was pretty sure girls were still very much on the table...but what was Sebastian suddenly doing on that same table?

What bothered Sam the most was that he actually was _bothered_ by all of this. The possibility that he might be bisexual was absolutely terrifying to him. He felt like he might actually throw up or have a full blown panic attack if he didn't calm down. He was trembling so hard he was surprised Sebastian hadn't woken up. He had no idea how to deal with this and he felt like his whole sense of self was shifting toward something unfathomable. Yet, it was exactly these reactions that made him feel even worse. He felt guilty about being upset by his feelings. Sam had always prided himself on being an open-minded, accepting person. He didn't have a problem with gay or bisexual people. Yet, if the possibility of being bisexual filled him with so much dread and confusion did that mean that he was wrong about himself? Was Sebastian right all along; was he homophobic?

Sam tried to calm himself down. He reminded himself that even if he was bisexual, or worse even if he was _turning_ gay somehow – even though he was pretty sure that kind of thing didn't happen – it wouldn't be the end of the world. He knew his friends in Glee Club would accept it, his family would be okay with it, and he didn't have any religious hang ups with it. If he did end up being with a guy, as weird and scary as it might feel, he could handle it. Sam took a deep breath and sighed slowly as he rolled onto his side, facing Sebastian. In the darkness he could just discern Sebastian's features. Sebastian was less intimidating in the dark, asleep, and for the first time Sam really let himself just relax and _look_ at the Warbler. He was good-looking, Sam could recognize that, and despite the fairly rocky start they had had with their friendship Sam knew he could trust Sebastian. After all if this gay/bi thing happened it definitely seemed like it would happen with Sebastian. Sam slowly drifted off into a restless sleep as he continued warring with his feelings.

**-000-**

Sebastian woke up in the middle of the night startled by the feeling of something warm against his side. As he came to his senses he remembered that Sam was spending the night. Despite what he had said before they had gone to sleep, Sebastian didn't actually like sharing his bed with anyone. He had just wanted to advance to the next level with Sam and was pretty sure that literally sleeping with him would help that along. Ordinarily on the relatively rare occasions when Sebastian tolerated someone else's presence in his bed – usually occasions just like this when he was attempting to gradually seduce someone – he tended to wake up in the night and shove them as far away as possible. Either the sleeping guy wouldn't wake up and it would be fine, or he would and Sebastian could pretend to be asleep himself. Whichever way it went he usually found himself with more space after the deed was done.

To his irritation when Sebastian started to push Sam away instead of rolling over like a good boy he sighed and shifted even closer to Sebastian. Suddenly Sebastian found his face only inches away from Sam's and the blond's legs were now resting fully against his own. He was still annoyed by Sam's close proximity and doubted that he would get very good rest but Sebastian found himself uncharacteristically okay with this closeness. Sam's blond hair was mussed up in the most adorable way and every now and then his mouth would twitch slightly.

Unable to fall back to sleep right away Sebastian found himself wondering what Sam was dreaming about. His bedmate was obviously having a fitful night and Sebastian suspected it had something to do with the fact that he had upped his game and pushed Sam even further off kilter. Sebastian knew that he would win quite soon. It was almost inevitable now that in the next week, perhaps the next few days even, Sam would awkwardly ask him about 'experimenting' or at least drop veiled hints that he was now fully open to the idea.

Sebastian smiled to himself and wrapped his arms around Sam, drawing the blond's head against his chest. Sam would soon make a rather large exception for him and so as Sebastian tried to go back to sleep he decided that he could in turn make one for Sam as he allowed the blond to cuddle against him.

**-000-**

"How did you sleep?" Sebastian asked as he noticed Sam stirring the next morning.

"Good," Sam fibbed as he sat up in bed and looked tentatively over at where Sebastian was standing next to his dresser. It didn't escape Sam's attention that Sebastian had evidently just finished showering and was still sporting damp hair.

"Just showered, huh?" Sam knew his conversational skills were somewhat lacking first thing in the morning.

"Yep, just showered and dressed. If you'd woken up a couple of minutes earlier you'd have found me naked," Sebastian responded with that same flirtatious smile and wink which Sam had been seeing so much of recently.

Sebastian made it a point to carefully watch Sam's reaction to his comment to help gauge his interest level. He was delighted to note that Sam seemed a little bit embarrassed, which was a good sign, and that for a split second a look of disappointment had seemed to cross his face.

"Sebastian, I need to...," Sam trailed off as Sebastian crossed the room and sat next to him on the bed, giving him his full attention.

"Need to what?" Sebastian asked patiently, wondering if Sam was about to ask him to mess around here and now and save him the trouble of continuing his scheme.

"I need to tell you something," Sam said more confidently this time. Sebastian looked and smelled really good and his just-washed, unstyled hair gave him a softer, more innocent look. Sam was finding it difficult to concentrate on what he wanted to say.

"You can tell me anything, Sam," Sebastian assured him as he put his hand over Sam's on the bed and looked him in the eye.

"Well...I think...I think." Suddenly Sam felt like he was going to have a heart attack if he continued. He glanced at Sebastian's hand over his own on the bed and then back up into Sebastian's face.

"You think-?" Sebastian prompted him.

"I think I want to..."

Sam's heart continued trying to tear its way out of his ribcage as his gaze became locked with Sebastian's. There was a look in Sebastian's eyes that Sam couldn't identify and it terrified him.

"You want to what, Sam?" Sebastian whispered as he closed his fingers over Sam's and scooted closer on the bed until their knees were touching.

"Borrow some clothes," Sam blurted out as he pulled away from Sebastian and stood up.

"What?!" Sebastian demanded as he stood up and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder turning him around slightly to look at him. "Clothes? Really? You want to borrow some clothes?"

"Yep, can't go to the mall in Pjs," Sam exclaimed in a forced cheerful tone as he moved out from under Sebastian's hand as casually as possible.

"Fine, go in the closet." Sebastian snapped in a harsh voice. He was pissed that Sam had backed out on what he had seemed about to do. When Sam looked at him, obviously surprised and concerned about the shift in his mood, Sebastian calmly finished his statement. "And pick out whatever you like."

**-000-**

On their way to the mall Sebastian shifted back to his original game plan. He would continue befriending Sam and make sure to keep him questioning his feelings. To that end Sebastian made it a point to get Sam to open up about himself. Sebastian inquired about his hobbies and interests, sports, Sam's family and his past. He was unsurprised by the fact that Sam was such an open book and so freely shared information. What did surprise him was how likeable Sam truly was. He had taken Sam for just another bi-curious jock who would bore and annoy him, but in reality Sam was quite pleasant to talk to and before Sebastian even realized what was happening he had accidentally shifted into a more or less genuine conversation with him.

"So you actually went to an all boys school freshman year?" Sebastian asked, wondering how similar Sam's experience might have been to his own at Dalton.

"Yep, back in Tennessee before we moved," Sam confirmed as Sebastian parked the car in the crowded parking lot.

"Let's get some coffee," Sebastian suggested as he pointed toward a coffee shop near the entrance.

"Okay," Sam agreed.

"Was it a boarding school?" Sebastian inquired.

"Nope, just a day school. We lived pretty close. I think that's one of the reasons my parents decided to send me there. That and they had a good reputation for helping with...uh stuff," Sam finished evasively with a slight blush. Then he went on with a shrug trying to cover up what he had almost said. "I was cool with it. They had a really good football team."

"Seriously?" Sebastian gasped in exaggerated astonishment as they entered the building. "An all boys school with a _good_ football team. Now I've heard everything."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked pleased that Sebastian didn't seem to be prying into the topic he didn't want to discuss.

"Well I'm sure you've heard the rumor about all boys schools, Sam. Especially if you went to one," Sebastian said winking. For the first time he wondered if perhaps Sam wasn't as inexperienced with guys as he had said. He didn't seem like the deceptive type however.

"Oh, um yeah I know what you're talking about," Sam said awkwardly before turning his attention to the cashier and ordering his beverage.

"And were there a lot of gay guys?" Sebastian asked directly. He intentionally said it in front of the male, college-aged cashier to see how Sam would react. Sebastian knew he would be able to determine a lot by Sam's reaction.

"Yeah, there were some. Definitely more than at McKinley and even some on the football team. It was cool," Sam answered with a smile as he paid for his drink.

"Cool?" Sebastian pressed before ordering his own beverage from the cashier. The guy seemed mildly flustered by their conversation which delighted Sebastian.

"Absolutely," Sam answered. "They were great guys, and really good players. I liked the accepting vibe that team had. That's why I was even more frustrated by the homophobic vibe on the McKinley team. Because I knew it didn't have to be that way."

Sam had realized by now that Sebastian was testing him to see how he would handle this situation; however, Sam didn't mind because he assumed that Sebastian just wanted to be absolutely certain once and for all that Sam didn't have a problem with gays. Sebastian always seemed so sensitive about the topic and Sam was glad for another opportunity to let him know that it was a non-issue. He hoped this would lay the matter to rest once and for all.

Sebastian was glad for the distraction of paying for his drink and intentionally took a few extra seconds to find the card he wanted to use in his wallet. Sam's reaction had actually managed to throw him off guard briefly. In the past he had mostly seduced straight or questioning guys who were very adamant about keeping things on the down low and who definitely weren't comfortable talking about 'gay' stuff in public; he needed a moment to decide how to react to Sam's candor.

"That's a good attitude, man," Sebastian declared as he settled on upping the ante and threw an arm around Sam's shoulders as they moved away from the register to wait for their beverages. Sebastian was pleased when several customers looked in their direction.

"Thanks," Sam responded grinning at Sebastian and leaning into him. He took Sebastian's reaction as confirmation that he had passed the 'test' and was unaware that it was actually still taking place. What he was unexpectedly aware of was his reaction to the physical closeness. His stomach fluttered slightly and he became hyper-aware of all the places their bodies were touching. He also caught a whiff of Sebastian's now semi-familiar cologne and realized how much he was growing to enjoy the smell.

Sebastian sighed quietly in frustration. If he had wanted to sleep with guys who were okay with homosexuality he would have picked up one of the openly gay twinks on campus. Half the fun was in the challenge and the mindfuck aspect of the whole thing. He also liked the fact that when they were done the guys would usually be freaked out and terrified of their secret getting out. This ensured that Sebastian never had to deal with clingy guys who wanted to turn things into a relationship. In fact that was why Sebastian's other target demographic was usually gay guys already _in_ relationships since they too typically wanted to keep things quiet and move on after the sex was over.

"Your drink's ready, Seb," Sam said squeezing his shoulders and steering him toward the counter to retrieve the item. He was curious about what Sebastian had on his mind but decided not to pry.

"What did you just call me?" Sebastian asked as he picked up his beverage and then passed Sam his own when it arrived a moment later.

"Seb?" Sam answered awkwardly. "Just a nickname. I won't call you that if you don't want me to."

"No, it's fine," Sebastian decided on the spur of the moment as he took a sip.

"So I had always thought Dalton Academy was a boarding school?" Sam asked as they walked out into the main part of the mall. He didn't really know where they were going but figured they would just walk around until something caught their interest.

"It is," Sebastian confirmed. "But we can come and go as we please on weekends."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Yeah, my family is horrid, but at least I have more experience putting up with them than the dimwitted masses on campus." As soon as Sebastian had made that statement he mentally kicked himself. He had once again allowed himself to slip into real conversation instead of impression management and he knew it would be a harsher evaluation than Sam would like or expect. Then Sebastian remembered the 'get out of jail free card' that he had picked up earlier in their conversation. Now was the perfect moment to turn the focus back on Sam and push him off balance again.

"Anyway, I forgot to ask. Earlier you said that your old school had a reputation for being good for 'something'," Sebastian made air quotes and kept a goofy, innocent expression on his face as he spoke. He wanted to throw Sam off guard but he didn't want to come off as intrusive or pushy. "What do they have a reputation for that your parents thought would help you?" Sebastian asked.

Sam felt his stomach tighten again and he knew he was blushing. The question had come out of left field and he didn't like talking about this, and somehow talking to _Sebastian_ about it seemed even worse somehow. He wanted to impress Sebastian, not come off like one of the 'dimwits' the guy had just complained about. Sam briefly considered trying to evade the question or perhaps even outright lying, but he hated lying or ignoring direct questions and he didn't feel right about doing it to Sebastian when he really did want to be friends with him.

"They had a program for dyslexic students," Sam answered softly as he blushed and looked away.

"You're dyslexic?" _and it's a sensitive spot for you_, Sebastian thought as he filed the information away for future use.

"Yeah," Sam admitted. "It's not real bad though. Pretty manageable, especially since my parents always made sure I got a lot of help with it."

"Even before the all boys school?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, since I was first diagnosed. At first I really hated it because it made the other kids in my class even more aware of my problem...but I'm kinda grateful now I guess."

"That was cool of them," Sebastian agreed, knowing it was the correct response but also somewhat envious. "You're really close with your parents, huh?"

"Yep," Sam answered feeling even more embarrassed. He was really close with them, but he felt like he was coming off like a big dyslexic dork.

"That's great, Sam. I'm glad you got the help you needed," Sebastian remarked. He loved how vulnerable Sam seemed. He was pretty sure that if they had been alone he could have gotten away with holding him, and the holding might have easily transitioned into something else. Since they weren't in private, however, Sebastian settled for returning his arm to Sam's shoulders and squeezing him reassuringly.

"Thanks man," Sam answered leaning against Sebastian. He was relieved that Sebastian didn't seem to be judging him.

"Let's head toward the food court," Sebastian suggested a little while later as he checked his phone. "It's getting close to lunch time."

"Sure, sounds good," Sam answered turning in that direction. He was slightly surprised that Sebastian wanted to eat somewhere like a food court. He had always heard in the past that Sebastian was somewhat pretentious when it came to food and clothes and he decided that this day, just casually walking around a mall and heading to a food court, just went to prove that you can't go by gossip or first impressions. Sebastian was just a cool, down to earth guy.

As they approached the food court Sebastian veered away. "Will you wait here? I need to use the restroom," He said already heading in that direction.

"Sure," Sam said. He then found a seat near the edge of the food court and sat down to wait. While he waited he played a game on his phone; however he was soon interrupted from his carefree entertainment by the sound of a harsh slur.

"Where you going, faggot?"

Sam's head snapped up to locate the source of the taunt and he quickly spotted a large teenager with short hair advancing on none other than Sebastian as he emerged from the restroom. Sam's heart leapt to his throat as he realized that the guy wasn't stopping and didn't seem to be satisfied with merely insulting Sebastian.

"I asked you a question, bitch!" the bully sneered as he shoved Sebastian back against the wall. Sam felt his blood run cold as he jumped to his feet, desperate to break up the confrontation.

"Leave me alone," Sebastian said coldly as he tried to push past his assailant. The guy quickly shoved him backward again and then punched him in the stomach. Sebastian's knees buckled and he slumped to the floor against the wall.

"Don't touch him you asshole!" Sam growled as he wrenched Sebastian's attacker around to face him and then hit him hard in the face. The guy stumbled backward in surprise but as soon as he regained his footing he hurried away, quickly disappearing into the crowd that was now forming around them.

"Are you okay," Sam asked urgently as he knelt down next to Sebastian.

Sebastian shook his head and sniffled letting out a small sob in the process. Sam quickly wrapped his arms around his trembling friend and held him close.

"I was so scared," Sebastian sobbed into Sam's ear as he clung to him.

"Sshh, it's okay now," Sam soothed as he rubbed his back and then pulled away just enough to look Sebastian in the eye. "He's not going to hurt you again," Sam assured him.

"What if he does?" Sebastian asked in a small voice.

"Then he'll have to go through me first," Sam promised as he gently pulled Sebastian to his feet.

"Thanks Sam," Sebastian said giving his blond friend a small smile.

"Of course," Sam answered as he pulled Sebastian in for another hug. He couldn't understand how some random guy could be such a jerk like that. He resolved to making sure that Sebastian felt safe whenever they were together from now on. He was determined not to let anyone else hurt his friend, especially not while he was around.

**-000-**

After the attack Sebastian told Sam that he wanted to go home and of course Sam readily agreed. After they left the mall Sebastian dropped Sam off and they decided to hang out again soon, possibly getting together one night that week.

After he had dropped Sam off and pulled out of the Hudson-Hummel driveway Sebastian picked up his cell phone and made a call.

"Hello," a guy answered.

"What did you mean by hitting me that hard, dickhead?" Sebastian snapped.

"You told me to make it look good," he answered defensively.

"I also told you to pull the fucking punch," Sebastian countered.

"Well your new boy sure as hell didn't pull his punch. I'm going to have a black eye."

"So what?! I told you I'd pay you an extra $40 if he hit you. But I'm taking out twenty of that for hitting me so hard," Sebastian responded.

"You're a pussy, Sebastian," the guy responded angrily.

"Watch your mouth or you won't get a dime. I'll bring you the cash on Monday at school," Sebastian said as he hung up his phone.

**End Note: Feedback is always appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4: Jealousy

**What I Want**

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. Work has been absolutely crazy! You'll probably notice that Sebastian's 'back story' section is much longer this time. It probably will be for at least the next two chapters as well. Time to really get into his past. **

**Chapter 4 – Jealousy**

Sebastian kicked open the door and ran into the abandoned warehouse. It took him only moments to spot Sean Meunier shirtless and chained to the fall wall. Math equations were scrawled all over his skin in bright red permanent marker and he wore a terrified expression on his handsome face.

"Don't worry, I'm going to get you out of here," Sebastian promised as he sprinted across the cavernous room.

"No wait, look out! He's behind you!" Sean shouted with a wild eyed look.

Sebastian spun around just in time to catch a glimpse of the oversized graphing calculator as it connected with the side of his head, instantly knocking him to the ground.

"So you thought you could stop me from fucking Sean, eh Smythe?" Carter Harris sneered as he towered over Sebastian. "Think again, nerd."

"I will stop you, Harris!" Sebastian spat back from his position on the ground.

"How are you going to do that, bitch? You're on the ground and I've got the calculator," Carter taunted as he raised his arm to strike Sebastian with the ever-growing, now massive object.

"I'm going to foil your plans, that's how!" Sebastian shouted as he rolled out of the way and then leaped to his feet. "FOIL! First! Outer! Inner! Last!" Sebastian chanted as a wave of multicolored parentheses shot from his fingertips and zapped Carter, causing him to briefly flash red before disappearing in a poof of variables.

"You saved me, Seb!" Sean gushed as Sebastian unchained him from the wall and then bent him backward, kissing him deeply and passionately.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Sean?" Sebastian asked as he broke the kiss and stared into Sean's dark blue eyes.

"Of course, Seb. Just tell me the answer to number seventeen," Sean responded as he morphed into Mr. Heller, Sebastian's Advanced Algebra teacher.

"What!?" Sebastian exclaimed as he released Sean/Mr. Heller and watched as he fell to the floor in slow motion.

"What is your answer for number seventeen, Mr. Smythe?" Mr. Heller demanded as he rapped on Sebastian desktop with his dry erase marker.

"I don't know!" Sebastian exclaimed frantically as his head snapped up and he looked around in confusion. From the next aisle over he could see Carter Harris snickering as he passed a note to Sean Meunier.

"If you don't know how to do the assignments, then perhaps you shouldn't sleep in my class," Mr. Heller said dryly as he turned around to walk away.

Finally processing the question and what was going on in the class Sebastian started to regain his composure. He glanced at his homework, found number seventeen, and confidently read off his answer just as Mr. Heller was about to call on someone else. "3X^2-6X+8"

"And how did you get that answer?" Mr. Heller inquired in an bored, condescending voice, refusing to let Sebastian off the hook even though he was secretly impressed that his laziest pupil also happened to be one of his most capable.

"I used the FOIL method," Sebastian said with a smirk. "First. Outer. Inner. Last."

To Sebastian's intense disappointment Carter Harris did not disappear in a cloud of variables as he revealed his tactic.

After class Sebastian was pleasantly surprised when Sean draped an arm over his shoulders on their way out of the room. His delight at being touched by his attractive crush was further intensified by the scowl that quickly formed on Carter's face in response as he walked on the other side of Sean.

"I'm impressed, Sebastian," Sean commented as he gave his classmate his most charming smile.

"Then my life is truly worth living, Sean," Sebastian responded in a lightly teasing, gracious voice as he tried to ignore the butterflies Sean's smile was causing. "But why are you impressed?"

Sean let out a small, deep laugh, the same one that Carter, in a moment of passion, had once told him made his cock throb. Sean hoped very much that it would have a similar effect on Sebastian. "Because you fell asleep in class but still managed to get the answer right when you were called on."

In that instant Sebastian thought of several clever lines that he could use, subtle ways of flirting with Sean and pissing Carter off, but unfortunately as the full weight of Sean's dark blue eyes came to bear on Sebastian he felt his stomach somersaulting so much he thought he might actually be sick, and all he could do was mumble, "Thanks," as his cheeks burned.

Sean was truly a gorgeous guy. Sebastian had decided that he was the best looking guy he had ever seen in real life. He was tall, broad shouldered with a lean but athletic build. He also had the most beautiful dark blue eyes that Sebastian had ever seen, eyes that were made all the more striking by the casually styled blond hair that framed his face. Much to the disappointment of nearly every one of their female classmates Sean was also openly gay. Sebastian and Carter were the only two other openly gay guys in their freshman class and since Carter and Sean were already together that gave Sebastian more than enough reason to hate Carter. Why Carter also seemed to hate him in return Sebastian really couldn't say, but it certainly didn't bother him.

"I'm having a little get together on Saturday at my house. You should come," Sean said politely as he continued giving Sebastian his trademark smile. Then he leaned in close to Sebastian's ear, close enough, he hoped, that Carter couldn't make out what he was about to say. "I really want you to _come_, Seb."

With his words still ringing in Sebastian's ears, Sean smiled at him again before turning and pressing a quick, casual kiss to Carter's lips, and then walking away in the direction of his next class.

Sebastian was now half-hard just at the thought of what Sean had said to him; however, one glance at a seething Carter Harris had him rapidly deflating. Sebastian decided it was just as well since he didn't want to walk around campus with an erection. He idly wondered if he should snap a picture of Carter's face for the next time a spontaneous, unwanted boner started to occur.

"Stay away from him or I'll scratch your eyes out," Carter threatened as he glared at Sebastian.

"Try it and you won't have any fingers left," Sebastian countered calmly before pushing past the smaller guy, connecting their shoulders in a not so subtle show of intimidation before briefly turning around and calling back, "And get some new threats for godsake. You sound like the evil bitch character in every romantic comedy for the past ten years."

**-000-**

Saturday night Sebastian arrived at the Meunier residence at the appointed time. He rang the doorbell and then knocked, but received no response from either effort. Since he could hear the hum of music and voices on the other side of the door he finally decided to try the knob. Finding it unlocked he tentatively opened the door. As soon as he did he was assaulted by a den of blaring music.

"Hey, it's the other gay kid," an upperclassman commented as he walked by the now open front door on his way to another part of the house with his girlfriend. Considering the way that they were hanging on each other Sebastian suspected that nearly any room would suit their purposes as long as it had a door that closed.

"Don't be rude, Ben," the girl chastised.

"I wasn't being rude," Ben defended himself. "I was just saying."

"Yeah but you're not supposed to just label people by their sexuality. He's a person, besides we're in that other gay kid's home," the girl went on, apparently seeing no contradiction in her words. She turned to Sebastian and smiled. "My cousin Greg is gay, so I understand how it is. Do you know Greg?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes as the obviously drunk girl stumbled backward against Ben.

"No, I didn't get my big, gay directory this year so I must have missed him," Sebastian responded sarcastically before shaking his head and waving his arms dramatically. "The postal system is so inept."

"Yeah, and they always bend the magazines," Ben interjected as he finished his beer and then glanced at the now-empty can in dismay.

"So where's Sean?" Sebastian cut in, deciding that he had had more than enough small talk with the couple.

"Who's Sean?" the girl inquired as she steadied herself on her boyfriend's arm.

"The other gay kid," Sebastian clarified.

"Ohh, I think he's in the living room," she answered pointing. "There's like a couch or something."

"That should certainly help me identify the room then, thank you," Sebastian remarked as he walked in the direction that she had indicated.

As he entered the room in question Sebastian quickly realized that the girl's mentioning of 'the couch' had probably been more of a reference to Sean's exact location versus a description of what a living room looked like. There on the center of what was actually a very large chaise longue, surrounded by other noisy people, was Sean Meunier looking almost obscenely hot in a snug, black v-neck t-shirt. His blond hair was mussed and styled in a way that looked casual but almost certainly took quite a bit of effort to achieve. Unfortunately Sean didn't just have people sitting around him, he actually had one sitting _on_ him. Carter Harris was perched on his boyfriend's lap smirking and looking satisfied in a way that could only be designed to make all the straight girls, and now Sebastian as well, jealous.

Sebastian frowned. He was really starting to hate this boy. Deciding that if he was going to approach the couple he was going to do it right, Sebastian scowled at Carter and then turned around and left the room before Sean had a chance to spot him. He stepped into the hall bathroom and carefully appraised himself in the mirror. He had dressed nicely, but since he expected mostly straight people at the party he had downplayed his style slightly. Upon reflection Sebastian decided that pissing off Carter and perhaps impressing Sean was well worth any snide comments he might get from the occasional homophobe. He unbuttoned two more buttons on his shirt, rolled his sleeves up a little bit further, and then ran his hands vigorously through his hair a few times, changing his style from clean cut and classic to something more akin to Sean's tousled look.

As soon as he reappeared Carter frowned and rolled his eyes. This time however, Sean also noticed him and Sebastian was pleased with the overt way Sean raked his eyes up and down Sebastian's body. He was even more pleased when Sean apparently decided that he liked what he saw and a small smile settled on his face before he beckoned Sebastian over. Carter looked ready to growl, but he said nothing, just tucked his hand inside Sean's shirt before leaning backward and kissing his neck.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Sebastian said pleasantly to Sean as he indicated Carter's display with his eyes.

"Nothing at all," Sean answered with a broad smile for Sebastian as he pointedly ignored the way Carter stiffened in his lap. "I was hoping you'd show up. Come sit."

"I'm not sure there's room," Carter protested indicating the crowded chaise longue with his hands.

"I don't mind sitting close," Sebastian answered playfully. In fact the idea of sitting so close to Carter practically made his skin crawl, but he would endure it just to torment him, and to be near Sean. As he squeezed in he casually draped an arm around Sean's shoulders.

"Oh I'm sorry!" Carter gasped a few seconds later as he spilled his drink into Sebastian's lap. His tone was surprised and apologetic but he look he shot Sebastian told him it was anything but an accident.

Sebastian briefly glared at him before recovering his composure. "No problem. I guess that's what happens when little boys get sloppy drunk."

Carter opened his mouth to make a comeback but Sean quickly cut him off, "Carter, why don't you go get the three of us a drink? I'd like a tequila sunrise. What about you, Seb?"

Sebastian took a second to consider his answer. Beyond an occasional sip of wine or champagne at home he hadn't actually drank very much before. "I'll have the same," he answered, deciding he couldn't go wrong if he just mimicked Sean's order.

Carter frowned but slid off of Sean's lap to get the drinks.

"Come on," Sean whispered into Sebastian's ear as soon as Carter was out of sight.

Sebastian looked at him in confusion but didn't protest as Sean grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Where are we going?" Sebastian inquired as Sean held onto his hand and led them through the crowd.

"My father's study," Sean responded smiling at a few guests and clapping a few others on the back as they passed, but otherwise refusing to slow down.

A short while later they had come to a closed and locked door at the end of a long hallway. Sean quickly fished an ornate key out of his pocket.

"No one is allowed in here. But I snatched the key before my parents left town," Sean explained as he unlocked the door.

"Cool," Sebastian answered at a loss for what else to say as he followed Sean into the room. As soon as the door was closed Sean quickly relocked it from the inside.

"Carter has no idea how to make a tequila sunrise so that'll keep him busy for awhile. Plus he wouldn't think to look in here anyway."

Sebastian's stomach dropped as it dawned on him what Sean had in mind. He suddenly felt scared and unsure of what to do. Sure he had blown Blake Behr before in the past but he had never messed around with anyone he was actually attracted to before. He also knew from reputation that Sean was sexually active. Completely sexually active, and he suspected Sean wanted more than just a blow job from him.

"You look amazing, Seb!" Sean said as he grabbed Sebastian's hips and pulled him forward, quickly pushing his collar aside and starting to suck on his neck.

Sebastian didn't react at first. He had no idea how to react. He certainly wanted to do stuff with Sean, but he also didn't think it was a good idea. He liked flirting with Sean, liked winding Carter up, but actually fucking Sean, and thus making them both cheaters...Sebastian didn't think he should cross that line.

"Touch me," Sean murmured against his neck as his own hands made their way around Sebastian's waist and began groping and squeezing his ass. As he did so he ground his hips against Sebastian's.

_Oh fuck! I got Sean Meunier hard!_ Sebastian screamed in his mind as he felt his own body responding in kind. Before he even realized what he was doing his hands were gripping Sean's firm ass and he was eagerly squeezing their bodies closer together, relishing the friction.

"There we go, Seb," Sean said softly as he pulled back and caught Sebastian's eyes with his own. He leaned his face forward to kiss Sebastian, but the other boy pulled away as far as their close embrace would allow.

"I don't think we should," Sebastian found himself saying. Though he was completely turned on and desperate for more, the word "Cheater!" kept replaying itself over and over again in his head. He also found himself growing more and more nervous about how fast they were moving.

"I think we should," Sean countered with a crooked smile.

"Sean no," Sebastian insisted more firmly as he let go of Sean's ass completely and tried to pull himself away. "We can't."

"Then stop me," Sean answered with a smirk as he raised his eyebrows in a challenging invitation. Sean didn't grab him hard and he didn't lunge at Sebastian, instead he slowly and carefully leaned his mouth closer to Sebastian's, keeping that challenging smirk on his face the entire time.

Sebastian knew that he should push Sean away. What was happening had gone from feeling somewhat ambiguously wrong, to outright not something Sebastian should do. However, he felt paralyzed as their lips slowly met. Sean was just so hot, and Sebastian wanted him so much.

**-000-**

Sam shouted at Finn to stay away from the cave. He couldn't explain it but he knew that if Finn entered the cave something bad would happen. Unfortunately Finn couldn't hear him and Sam was left with no choice but to follow Finn into the dark opening. As Sam entered, still trailing behind Finn, he realized that the cave was lit by dim, flickering candlelight. He continued trying to catch up with Finn, to get him to leave, but every time he seemed to be getting close, suddenly Finn was even further out of reach. Soon Finn disappeared completely around a bend in the cave.

Sam cautiously approached the cave wall and peered around the side of it. To his surprise Finn was standing over a box of gold. However, he wasn't alone. Sebastian was standing next to him and they seemed to be celebrating their find.

"This is awesome, dude! There's like enough money here for a whole pizza!" Finn exclaimed as he hugged Sebastian excitedly.

"I don't want a pizza, Finn," Sebastian answered as he wrapped his arms around the taller boy.

"Well then what do you want?" Finn asked.

"I want to kiss you," Sebastian answered as he tightened his grip on Finn's waist.

"But I thought you liked Sam?" Finn inquired as he looked at Sebastian with a confused expression on his face.

"I do, but he likes me back and you like to kiss people he likes, so this makes sense," Sebastian explained.

"Oh yeah you're right. I do like doing that. Okay let's make out," Finn agreed as he leaned down slightly and sealed his mouth over Sebastian's.

"Wait!" Sam shouted as he ran up to the other two guys.

"Oh hi, Sam. Sebastian and I were just about to kiss. You wanna watch?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"Actually I was planning to seduce him completely, but you can jerk yourself off while we fuck if you want to," Sebastian offered.

"NO! You can't do that. Finn, you're my best friend. You have to stop cheating with people I'm seeing," Sam insisted as he pulled the two apart. Next he wheeled around to face Sebastian. "And you, what do you mean by trying to kiss other guys?"

"But Sam, you're not a couple," Finn pointed out as he tapped Sam on the shoulder. "You just like him. I'm free to make out with him if I want."

"Yeah, and what do you expect me to do? Just wait around until you figure out if you like guys or not?" Sebastian demanded.

"But I'm not gay," Sam protested.

"Then it doesn't matter if we make out," Finn pointed out as he reached around Sam and took Sebastian's hand. "Come on, Sebastian."

"No! Finn you can't! You're not gay either. I'm not gay, and you're not gay, and Sebastian is just my friend."

"Oh Sam, just wake up already. You totally want him," Finn insisted.

"What!? No, I don't."

"Sure you do. Just wake up."

"But..."

"Wake up, Sam," Finn ordered as he shook Sam's shoulders. "Wake up."

"What!" Sam cried out as his head shot up from where it had been resting on top of his copy of _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. _He had been reading it for his English class just prior to falling asleep at the kitchen table.

"Dude, I think you were having a nightmare," Finn suggested as he plopped down in the chair next to Sam's.

"So wait you didn't kiss Sebastian?" Sam blurted out still confused by the images in his head.

"Ewww! Yuck, no! Sounds more like _my_ nightmare," Finn answered with a chuckle. "Did you seriously dream that I kissed that-"

"Yeah," Sam cut him off not wanting to hear the end of Finn's sentence. "Uh, you know how weird dreams can be."

"I guess," Finn said with a shrug, still uncomfortable and freaked out.

"Listen man, I need to get some rest for real. I think I'm gonna head to bed," Sam said, eager to be done with the conversation.

"Okay, night," Finn answered slightly relieved. He was hoping that he could clear the unbidden mental images from his head more quickly if Sam did leave. _Yuck! Me kiss Sebastian?! Really?_

Sam hurried to his room, leaving the door partially open and throwing himself down on his bed. He was so sick of having dreams about Sebastian. This certainly hadn't been the first time he had dreamed about him since that day in the park when they kissed, but this one had been particularly strange.

By this point Sam had more or less admitted to himself that his interest in Sebastian wasn't entirely platonic. After all he could only dream about kissing him so many times before it sunk in that he actually wanted to do it again. He still wasn't completely comfortable with the idea, and he had decided that he definitely wouldn't be pursuing it, but he had more or less started to accept it. What he couldn't accept was the new way he felt as a result of his dream tonight.

Sam felt _jealous_. He was actually angry and jealous as a result of his dream. Somehow it felt like Sebastian and Finn had betrayed him, even though he knew they hadn't actually done anything in reality. Nevertheless, Sam decided that even in his dreams Sebastian and Finn had no business kissing and talking about having sex. Sebastian wasn't supposed to kiss anyone but Sam in his dreams, and Finn of all people should have stayed away from him.

Sam sighed. It was all so confusing for him. He had started to both hate and also practically live for Sebastian's occasional texts and even less common phone calls. Sam might have been confused but he wasn't stupid. The frustration he was feeling, the ache in his gut, the longing that played out over and over in his head, and now this newest symptom, the jealousy...these were all things that Sam recognized. He had felt exactly the same about Quinn once and then more recently the same about Mercedes. Sam couldn't deny it to himself anymore, he had feeling for-

"Sebastian?! Really Sam? _Sebastian?_" Kurt demanded as he glared at Sam from the open doorway.

Sam's jaw dropped and he looked up at Kurt in shock, only vaguely registering the fact that Blaine was standing next to him.

"How did you..." _Read my mind? _Sam wondered.

"You left this on the kitchen table," Kurt clarified holding up Sam's phone and glaring at him before tossing it onto the bed near him. "_Sebastian_ called, Sam. I guess you better call _Sebastian_ back."

"Kurt, it's not what you think," Sam insisted hastily. "We're just friends."

Kurt blinked in surprise and regarded Sam curiously. "Well actually that was _exactly _what I thought. Do you not see why that isn't okay?"

"Oh...um, well yeah I know you don't like him," Sam answered as a blush colored his cheeks and he realized that he had almost given himself away.

"Don't _like_ him?!" Kurt demanded. "Sam, he practically blinded Blaine," Kurt raved as he nodded toward his boyfriend. "He tried to blackmail Finn, and he's a total bitch to me every time I see him. No Sam. I don't _like_ Sebastian. He's a manipulative, selfish, asshole."

"He is not!" Sam protested as he frowned at Kurt. "He's not any of those things. He's not a bad person at all. He's just...misunderstood I guess."

"Oh sure, and that's what they said about Mussolini," Kurt snapped sarcastically as he shot Sam another dirty and then turned around and stormed off. Kurt had no intention of standing there any longer and listening to Sam defend the person he practically viewed as evil incarnate.

"So uh, is Mussolini like a fashion designer?" Sam asked Blaine as his face contorted with confusion from Kurt's last remark. He knew the name sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place it and he sounded like the kind of guy who might have created an ugly fashion trend or something that Kurt didn't like.

Blaine chuckled a couple of times before covering his mouth to stifle his laughter. "Nah, Mussolini wasn't a fashion designer, Sam. He was a completely different type of Italian dictator."

Sam shrugged and looked at his carpet sadly. He hated the things Kurt had just said about Sebastian. Sam had been wanting to talk to Kurt about how he was feeling ever since it had started and Kurt had basically just made it very clear that he would never accept or approve of the way Sam felt. It was like he hadn't even admitted out loud that he liked Sebastian and yet he was already getting condemned for it.

"Sam, I know how you feel about Sebastian," Blaine said sympathetically as he walked the rest of the way into the room and sat down on Sam's bed.

Sam's head snapped up in surprise. "You do?"

"Yeah of course. I felt the same way when I first met him," Blaine answered.

"Oh my god, really? But what about Kurt?" Sam's head was whirling as he tried to process all this new information. Blaine had liked Sebastian?

"He didn't approve," Blaine answered simply.

"I bet not!" Sam exclaimed wide eyed. No wonder Kurt hated Sebastian so much.

"But I felt like I had to try," Blaine went on.

"Uh, what?"

"I had to try to reach out to him. Show him that he could have a real friendship with someone that didn't involve sex or manipulation," Blaine explained.

"Oh you wanted to be his _friend_." Sam said as the pieces fell into place and he realized that he had misunderstood what Blaine was saying, that Blaine didn't know his secret after all.

"Well yeah, what did you think?" Blaine asked.

"Friend. I was thinking friend too," Sam fibbed right away.

Blaine regarded Sam carefully. He was definitely behaving strangely and Blaine knew that there was more to the situation than Sam was telling him.

"Look, all I'm saying is I get how you're feeling. I know you want to help him and honestly even after everything that's happened I don't think Sebastian is quite as terrible as people make him out to be. Not _quite_ as terrible. He has a good side, but Kurt and the others aren't wrong either. He is selfish and manipulative and frankly you just can't trust him. He'll take advantage of that if you do."

Sam felt his stomach tightening in disappointment and frustration. For a second he thought that maybe Blaine really did understand Sebastian, but obviously Blaine didn't get him either. Sam couldn't believe how cruddy this situation was. Finn, Kurt, and Blaine, and undoubtedly the rest of the glee club too, would all completely hate this and give Sam a hard time if they ever found out how he felt. He had thought the the glee club of all people wouldn't judge him, but that obviously wasn't going to be the case. Sam felt so alone and hurt.

"Yeah okay, thanks Blaine. I'll keep that in mind," Sam answered quietly.

Blaine gave Sam another sympathetic look and patted his shoulder before leaving the room. Sam knew Blaine meant well, but he couldn't get over the disappointed, hurt feeling that was clawing at his stomach. A little while later, however, he remembered that Kurt had said that Sebastian had called and Sam felt his stomach tightening and fluttering for a completely different reason. He quickly got up and shut his door before calling him back.

"Hey sexy," Sebastian answered the phone playfully when he saw the caller ID. Over the past several days he had noticed that Sam was well beyond objecting to these types of comments.

"Hi Seb," Sam answered softly, half wishing he had the will to ask Sebastian to stop saying stuff like that, and half wishing he had the nerve to start saying similar things himself.

"So what are you doing Friday?" Sebastian inquired, wanting to get to his point and then get off the phone. He found that things always went better with Sam when he kept things short and sweet. If they talked for too long Sam had a way of making Sebastian lose his train of thought and deviate from his objectives.

"Not sure, why?" Sam responded.

"Oh, I'm having a little get together on Saturday at my house. You should come," Sebastian answered casually before dropping his voice to a seductive whisper. "I really want you to _come_, Sam."

Sam gasped out loud, shocked at the shameless way Sebastian had said that.

"Well uh, I guess I could try to come," Sam answered smirking into the phone and trying to ignore the weird cocktail of fear, disgust, and excitement that was warring for control of his body.

"Well, what would I have to do to _make_ you come, Sam?" Sebastian pressed, loving the way Sam was playing back.

"I...I'll be there," Sam answered shaking himself slightly to clear his head.

"Good, I'll see you at 7," Sebastian said before abruptly hanging up the phone. _And I'll fuck you at 7:30._

**-000-**

Saturday night Sam arrived at the Smythe residence at the appointed time. He rang the doorbell and then knocked, but received no response from either effort. Since he could hear the hum of music and voices on the other side of the door he finally decided to try the knob. Finding it unlocked he tentatively opened the door. As soon as he did he was assaulted by a den of blaring music.

"Hey, it's Sebastian's 'friend'," a slightly drunk dark haired guy that Sam recognized as being one of the Warblers commented as Sam walked in. He was standing in the atrium next to another guy Sam vaguely also remembered seeing at competitions, this one blond.

"Don't be a jerk, Nick," the blond chastised as he smacked his friend's arm before turning his attention to Sam. "I'm Jeff. You're Sam right? Good to meet you."

"I wasn't being a jerk," Nick defended himself. "I was just saying he and Sebastian are 'friends'."

"Yeah but the way you're saying 'friends' is implying something else," Jeff called him out before turning back to Sam with a smile. "Ignore him, he's been drinking. Sebastian's in the living room."

Sam nodded and thanked Jeff before heading toward the room he had indicated. Sam was nervous and a little upset that Nick had been implying that he and Sebastian were more than friends. Just what had Sebastian said to them anyway?

As Sam walked into the room his heart leapt into his mouth and he all but staggered back in a mixture of surprise and sudden anger. There on the large chaise longue was Sebastian sitting in the middle of a crowd of people. That part didn't surprise or anger Sam. What did bother him was the fact that sitting on Sebastian's lap was some ridiculous looking guy that Sam had never even seen before. Sam certainly didn't consider himself a judgmental person, but this guy looked like an absurd, effeminate joke. He couldn't imagine Sebastian being interested in a guy like that and for some reason that Sam didn't fully understand he instantly hated him.

Sam started to back out of the room. He decided that he was just going to leave. He could text Sebastian later and say that he didn't feel well or something, but as he started to leave Sebastian caught sight of him and beckoned him over with a broad smile on his face. As Sam reluctantly approached the crowd he couldn't make up his mind whether or not he was happier that Sebastian was grinning at him like that, or if he was just pissed that Sebastian had some new guy in his life he hadn't even mentioned to Sam. As Sam walked up the smaller guy seemed to cuddle even closer to Sebastian and began massaging the back of his head with his fingers.

"I don't want to interrupt anything," Sam said as he awkwardly shoved his hands in his pocket and barely managed to contain the embarrassment and seething jealousy he was feeling.

"You're not," Sebastian assured him in a casual, light tone. "I'm so glad you're here, Sam. Please take a seat," he said patting the space next to himself.

The girl who had been sitting next to Sebastian obligingly shifted over and pressed herself against the guy on the opposite side. From the way he wrapped his arm around her and the way she relaxed into the embrace Sam assumed that they were a couple. Sam asked himself for about the thousandth time what he was doing getting hung up on Sebastian, _a guy - _and a guy who even seemed to be seeing someone else now - when he could have just found himself a nice girl to hold. It could have been exactly like it was with this other couple. Exactly the way Sam and all of his friends and family had always expected.

"Your shirt is so cute!" the twinkish guy exclaimed to Sam as he ran his fingers over Sam's chest.

"Thanks," Sam said as he stiffened and tried to resist the urge to pull away.

"Hands off, Aaron. Sam's straight," Sebastian said lightly as he grabbed his playmate's wrists and pulled his hands away from Sam's body.

"I was just admiring his shirt, Sebby," Aaron defended himself. "Besides, you know you're the only boy for me."

Sam coughed as he fought the urge to gag.

Sebastian inwardly cringed but kept his face cheerful as he pressed a kiss to Aaron's lips. He was pleased to notice from the corner of his eye the way Sam clenched his jaw and looked away. Deciding in part that Sam had had enough and that his plan was working perfectly, and also that he himself couldn't tolerate Aaron for much longer, Sebastian gently pried himself loose from Aaron and stood up. "Come on, Sam. Let's go get some drinks."

"I'll come too," Aaron declared, eager to follow Sebastian and his attractive friend, even if they mysterious blond was straight.

"No, you relax and enjoy the party. We'll be right back. I'll make you something. What would you like?" Sebastian said as he put his hands on Aaron's shoulders, stopping him from coming along and gently urging him back into his seat.

Aaron's face lit up in a grin. He was delighted that Sebastian wanted to take care of him like that. "I'll have a cherry vodka sour."

"Actually, I don't think I want anything," Sam said shrugging and worrying that if he was alone with Sebastian right now he might say or do something he would regret. "You go ahead."

"Well how about if I show you what we have and then you can decide. Besides I want to catch up," Sebastian insisted as he grabbed Sam's hand and gave him his most charming smile.

Sam's stomach fluttered again and he had to break eye contact with Sebastian. He reluctantly gave up and allowed his friend to lead him toward the large bar that was in the corner of the room.

"Aaron seems...nice," Sam said conversationally as Sebastian stepped around the bar and began mixing the first drink.

Sebastian sighed softy and braced himself for what he had to do.

"He's great! We've only known each other for a few days, but it seems like so much longer, you know?" Sebastian enthused.

"Yeah, I definitely know what that's like," Sam responded trying his best to be happy for Sebastian.

"Yeah, it's almost weird how I feel about him_,_" Sebastian said dreamily. _He makes my skin crawl_.

"Well that's great, man. I'm really happy for you," Sam said with a smile that didn't even come close to meeting his eyes or the rest of his face.

"Yeah, I haven't felt this way since..." Sebastian looked embarrassed and thoughtful as he set the hook.

"Since what?" Sam asked on cue.

"Since I met you," Sebastian said softly as he looked up to meet Sam's eyes. Sebastian had realized over the past several days that Sam was something of a romantic and had quickly shifted his strategy to incorporate that new finding.

Sam's jaw dropped. Had Sebastian really just admitted that he had feelings for Sam?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," Sebastian said as he began mixing the second drink.

"No, that's...I mean...Well why didn't you say anything sooner?" Sam asked incredibly frustrated by the timing.

"I basically did, Sam. But you're straight so I knew I was wasting my time."

"Oh yeah," Sam answered as he tried to remind himself of that same fact.

"What is it? You look confused," Sebastian pointed out, barely resisting the urge he had to grin. He was very pleased with himself. Sam was obviously a slightly different type of guy than the kind he usually seduced, but he had nevertheless managed to read him perfectly. He felt like he had conquered a new level, and soon he would get to celebrate that conquest with...well a conquest.

Sam nodded as he tried to keep a tight lid on his feelings and keep everything from spilling out. He was confused, very confused. Between seeing Aaron hanging all over Sebastian, and now hearing Sebastian say all this stuff, Sam had absolutely no idea what to think or how to feel. The only thing he could be sure of was that it hurt. He felt like someone had put broken glass in his chest and stomach and then shaken him as vigorously as Sebastian was shaking the drinks.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked gently as he placed his hand over Sam's on the bar.

_Yes, I'm fine. Just tell him you're fine and get back to the party. Just tell him you're fine and get away from this damn conversation._

"I'm fine," Sam said in a broken, unconvincing voice as he looked away and then turned to leave.

"Sam wait!" Sebastian said as he grabbed Sam's hand. "Don't go. Stay. Let's talk about this."

"No, I just...I just need to go to the bathroom," Sam insisted as he pulled his hand way and hurried off.

Sebastian cursed under his breath that he was behind the bar at this moment and couldn't grab Sam or chase after him quickly enough. It hadn't occurred to him that Sam would abruptly walk away like that. If it had he would have made sure they were positioned differently.

Sam rushed to the restroom, desperate to get away from everyone and have some much needed privacy. He needed time by himself to think and recompose himself. Unfortunately when he tried the bathroom door he found it locked. A muffled voice said that she would be right out, but Sam was too upset to wait.

The only other place in Sebastian's large home that Sam could think of to go for privacy was Sebastian's room. Certainly that probably wasn't the only other private place in the house, but since Sam hadn't really explored Sebastian's home very much the last time he was here it was the only place Sam could think of where he would feel semi-comfortable. Sam quickly made a bee line for the stairs and then once on the second floor went straight to Sebastian's closed door. To his immense frustration he once again found his hand trying to turn a locked knob and it dawned on him that Sebastian must have locked it before the party to keep stray, drunk guests out. Sam sighed audibly in irritation.

"I have a key for that," Sebastian called out as he walked down the hallway toward Sam.

"I...I'm sorry, Seb. I just wanted to find somewhere quiet," Sam apologized, embarrassed that Sebastian had caught him trying to get into his room.

"It's fine. I could use some quiet time too," Sebastian assured him as he put his hands on the small of Sam's back while leaning past him to unlock the door with his other hand.

The gesture was both comforting and maddening to Sam. It was exactly the way Sam himself would have touched a girlfriend. Is that how Sebastian was viewing him? As someone he could touch like this. As someone he had some claim to? Sam wanted to push Sebastian away. In fact he had every intention of doing just that as his hands met the other boy's sides. However, to Sam's surprise he didn't push Sebastian away at all, instead the comforting aspect of the whole thing kicked in and he found his hands traveling the rest of the way around Sebastian's torso as Sam leaned in close and hugged him.

Sebastian wrapped one arm around Sam and led him into the room, closing and relocking the door after they had entered. Then he slowly led Sam to the side of the bed and gave him a tight hug before guiding him to sit down.

"Tell me what's wrong, Sam," Sebastian instructed gently as he held the trembling blond's hand.

"I think I have feelings for you," Sam answered deciding there was no point in beating around the bush about it and already feeling too vulnerable and exposed to worry about adding more to it. Despite his sudden burst of honesty Sam didn't have the strength to look up and attempt to read the reaction on Sebastian's face.

"Well that's not so bad. Didn't I tell you that if you were ever curious about guys that you could always talk to me about it?" Sebastian reminded him.

"But I'm not curious about _guys_!" Sam snapped as he finally looked up at Sebastian, angry that he seemed to be ignoring what Sam had actually said.

"You just said-"

"I'm curious about _you_. Just you, Sebastian. I don't know why, but I am." Sam felt like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that he had admitted that. Only a small weight however, since he still felt the weight of everything else bearing down on him. His friends' certain disapproval, his own general confusion, then of course the crippling fact that it was now too late with Sebastian anyway.

"Curiosity is good, Sam," Sebastian assured him as pressed his knees against Sam's and gave him an openly lustful look. "Curiosity is healthy."

"But...b but what about Aaron?" Sam stuttered as he realized what Sebastian had in mind. He tried to lean away from Sebastian, to put some much needed distance between them. However, unfortunately only the top half of Sam's body seemed to come up this idea and act on it. His lower half stayed firmly in place and as he leaned backward away from Sebastian he succeeded only in shifting himself from a fully upright position to a nearly reclining one. Sam whispered nervously again as he looked up at Sebastian, "What about Aaron?"

"I don't think Aaron is..._curious_. I think his questions are already answered. Let's answer your questions, Sam," Sebastian said as he too shifted on the bed and he leaned in closer, practically ending up on top of Sam by the time he was finished speaking.

"We can't do this," Sam insisted, putting a stopping hand against Sebastian's chest. Sebastian's strong, hard chest. The chest that he had explored during their first kiss.

"Sure we can," Sebastian said in a low, intense voice. "I want you, Sam. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I know you want me too. I can _feel_ it." As he said that, Sebastian slowly reached between them and brushed his hand over the bulge in Sam's pants. It had taken him this long to be certain that Sam wouldn't reject his touch, but now he was certain. Sam was his now, and he could touch him wherever he pleased.

"No," Sam said in a shaky voice. He felt his resolve weakening as Sebastian's face moved closer and closer to his own. "Please don't."

"Then stop me," Sebastian challenged before locking his lips over Sam's and pressing their bodies together.

Sam knew that he should push Sebastian away. He knew that what was happening just wasn't right. Sebastian had a boyfriend, and even if he hadn't Sam sure as hell wasn't ready for what was happening. Yet as Sebastian's tongue pushed against Sam's lips, insistently demanding access to his mouth, Sam felt his resolve slip away completely. Sebastian was just so hot, and Sam wanted him so much.

**-000-**

**End Note: Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, both about Sebastian's past and their current situation. Also, what did you think of the dream sequences and Sam's feelings in this chapter? I hope they don't seemed rushed or abrupt. I think he started to work out his feelings in the last chapter and drawing it out too much more would feel a bit regressive to me. Don't worry though, still lots of angst to come. **

**Reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 5: Mess

**What I Want**

**A/N: A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. A couple of quick disclaimers, I don't usually feel it necessary to mention this, but in case anyone has any doubts I don't in fact own Glee or any of its characters, nor do I have any rights to the song featured in this chapter. If you actually thought that perhaps I did own said rights...well I've got some lovely oceanfront property in Arizona that you really ought to take a look at.**

**One more thing, I had some fun with a slightly new (to me) style in this chapter with regards to the song. I hope you guys like it, but I can't pretend I thought it up entirely on my own. It's more or less a shameless rip off of the way MyOwnSaviour often includes song lyrics in his stories for emotional effect. This is just my clumsy attempt at emulating an aspect of something I like. On that note if you enjoy the Sam/Rory pairing at all you really ought to check out his work, and also jlbassmaster's and SkewedReality's. I can't say enough good things about their amazing Sory stories! But now on with the Sambastian show.**

**Chapter 5 – Mess**

_Dirty._

Sebastian felt like a (carefully) walking cliché as he closed and locked his bedroom door and then stripped down and walked into his adjoining bathroom to shower. It felt like a big joke that he should actually feel dirty after his first time having sex, but joke or not that was exactly how he felt. He felt like a filthy slut and he could barely stand to look at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. He had to brush his teeth though; he had to remove Sean's taste from his mouth.

_I wanted it too. I wanted it too._

Sebastian kept repeating the phrase in his head, almost like a mantra as he turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature to a slightly higher than usual setting. The stinging water felt good on his skin and he decided that if he was going to be a fucking cliché anyway he'd might as well go all the way and scrub his skin with hot water the way people always did on television after unwanted sex.

Somehow the stinging water really did seem to remove the lingering sensation of Sean's fingers on his body; it removed them, but only temporarily. The water would hit his back and he no longer felt Sean's nails there scraping across skin, but then he would become aware of the sensation of Sean's hips between his thighs and by the time he had readjusted the jet of water to remove that feeling, the fingers were once again clawing at his back.

It hurt. Of course Sebastian knew that it would hurt before he started and now that it was over it wasn't even the pain that bothered him very much. It was the way he had reacted to it, the way he had handled the entire situation. Sean hadn't been gentle. He hadn't gone slow and he hadn't allowed Sebastian a chance to adjust. Instead he had allowed time only for the most minimal preparations and then he had taken what he wanted. Taken it hard and fast, insistent that they didn't have long before Carter got suspicious. And Sebastian had taken it too.

_Carter FUCKING Harris._

Sebastian spit at the shower drain and pretended it was Carter's face. This was all Carter's fault. It was Carter's fault Sean had fucked him so roughly. It was Carter's fault they didn't have time to prepare properly. It was Carter's fault Sebastian had allowed Sean to do what he wanted with him. It was Carter's fault that Sebastian had felt like a dirty slut, unable to stand up for himself. Now Sebastian's ass felt like it had been split open and it was all because letting Carter's boyfriend fuck him had made Sebastian feel like he didn't deserve to ask Sean to slow down or take it easy.

And Sebastian felt fucking guilty. That was Carter's fault too. He shouldn't give a fuck. It's not like Carter was his friend. So what if he had screwed Carter's boyfriend? And yet Sebastian hadn't even been able to look at Carter when they returned from Sean's father's study. Instead he had made his excuses and hauled his throbbing ass out of there as fast as he could.

And Sebastian had liked it too. He had fucking enjoyed the whole damn thing in a sick way. Once he had finally been able to catch his breath and half ignore the pain, getting the hell fucked out of him on old man Meunier's desk had been a rush. Sean had wanted him. All the excruciatingly painful thrusts, all the eventual achingly good ones, they had proven it. They had all proved it. Sean had wanted him so much that he was secretly fucking him with his boyfriend in the same house. Sean. Sean fucking Meunier wanted Sebastian. Okay, so obviously Sean was a prick, Sebastian had sort of known that all along anyway, but it didn't change the fact that he was obscenely hot. The whole being rich and popular thing didn't hurt either. So what if Sean was a dick? So what if Sean's dick hurt Sebastian like hell? At least this beautiful, popular sex-god wanted him. Sean was too hot to regret fucking...So why the fuck did Sebastian regret it so much?

He plugged the drain and sat down in the tub, allowing the hot water from the shower to continue pelting him and gradually fill the tub. There was water in Sebastian's eyes. Lots of water from the showerhead pounding the top of his head and then rolling down into his eyes. Shower water. Salty, hot shower water that stung his eyes and made him gasp like he was sobbing. Just shower water, no tears. Besides it was too loud with the water roaring through the pipes and splashing into the tub to hear any sobs. If the sobs couldn't be heard then they didn't exist, and if Sebastian wasn't sobbing then he clearly didn't hate himself.

**-000- Three weeks later –000-**

Music helped. Music always helped Sebastian feel better. It helped him channel his feelings, helped him put a label on what was going on inside his head. Sebastian was good at music too. He was proud of his ability to sing, proud of the way he could express himself shamelessly in song. There was never any shame in music, and the pain was always therapeutic somehow. Music always helped Sebastian. It helped him so much that he decided to listen to "Long Way To Happy" by Pink eight times in a row on his iPod while he thought about Sean. After all, he decided, If he was going to be dramatic he'd might as well be obsessive too.

_One night to you_

_Lasted six weeks for me_

_Just a bitter little pill now_

_Just to try to go to sleep_

Sean hadn't called him. Of course why would Sean call him? He already had a boyfriend and what had happened with Sebastian was just a secret. It didn't matter. Sean didn't matter. It's not like Sebastian had any actual feelings for him. Sean didn't matter. It had just been lust. It didn't matter that he was Sebastian's first. It didn't matter that Sebastian had imagined what being Sean's boyfriend would have been like. It didn't matter that Sebastian's chest ached when he thought about Sean. It just didn't matter.

_No more waking up to innocence_

_Say hello to hesitance_

_To everyone I meet_

Innocent. That was a joke. Sebastian laughed derisively. He wasn't innocent, not at all. He fancied himself world-weary. So what if he was only fifteen? He could be world-weary. Especially now, now that he had had sex. Sex with someone else's boyfriend. Someone hot. That had to count. So what if Sean was a jerk? So what if Sebastian couldn't help wondering if everyone else was like that too? They probably were. It didn't matter. Sebastian didn't need anyone. He certainly didn't need Sean.

_Thanks to you years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
What love means to me but oh _

Love. What was love anyway? Sebastian had loved his mother, he was sure of that. He _maybe_ loved his brother. Sometimes. Except that Michael was also a huge asshole that he hated. But other people? Romantically? No, that was stupid and he didn't need it. He had watched enough movies, heard enough songs; romantic love never ended right. Sometimes it didn't even start right. Not that Sean meant fucking anything. Guys weren't for love, they were just for fucking. Sean had probably gotten it right. Sebastian should thank him.

_I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling_

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy

It was sort of a promise. Sebastian decided that the whole song was sort of a promise. It hurt. He hurt. He fucking hated Sean, but it would get better. He wasn't happy now, but he would be happy eventually. And maybe it should take a long time. Maybe he deserved that for what he had done, not just to Carter but to everyone. Sebastian had a tendency to let people down. He knew it. He heard it often enough from his father and brother. So it would take awhile, because that's what he deserved, but then he would be happy. Sebastian didn't believe in anything religiously, but it made sense in a cosmic karma kind of way.

_Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy _

Sebastian had tried to talk to Sean again. Once about a week after...about a week after.

"Hi Sean," Sebastian had said as he walked up to Sean's locker before school.

"Hello Sebastian," Sean had greeted him without looking away from whatever he was taking out of his locker.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get together sometime this weekend...when Carter isn't around," Sebastian had offered. By this point he had made his peace with just having a sexual relationship with Sean. Sean was attractive; a sexual relationship was better than nothing. Besides, maybe if Sebastian tried it again he'd like it without hating it so much.

"No thank you," Sean had answered simply as he closed his locker and walked away without ever really looking at Sebastian.

_Left my childhood behind  
In a roll away bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head_

Sebastian had jogged after Sean, had caught him in the hallway. Sean must not have understood his earlier request; that was the only explanation. Sean had wanted Sebastian, and he had damn sure acted like he enjoyed himself. There was no reason he wouldn't want to do it again. Not if Carter didn't find out. Not if Sebastian were willing to give him what he wanted.

"I meant for sex," Sebastian had clarified quietly without making eye contact.

"And I meant, no thank you," Sean had reiterated.

Sebastian had gaped at him, dumbfounded.

"But why?"

Sean had shrugged.

"It wasn't really good enough for a repeat performance."

Sean's words cut through Sebastian like a knife in the stomach and he had slumped back against a nearby locker.

"Just grow up, Seb, and stop being so whiny. You look like you're about to cry."

_Trying to cover up the damage  
And pad out all the bruises  
too young to know i had it  
So it didn't hurt to lose it  
Didn't hurt to lose it _

"Nice shirt, Sebastian. Did you have your dad back over it with his car before you put it on?" Carter taunted as they waited behind a crowd of students to leave their Algebra class.

"Oh you don't like my shirt, Harris?" Sebastian snapped at him. "Fine, no problem." Sebastian briskly unbuttoned the the top few buttons of his uniform shirt and then pulled it over his head and tossed it in Carter's face. "There you go. Problem solved. Feel free to iron it for me if you want."

"Mr. Smythe!" Mr. Heller bellowed as he stood up from his desk and glared at Sebastian. "Do you care to explain yourself?"

"Why? Is anything here out of place?" Sebastian asked innocently as he ran a hand down his bare chest and flat stomach. "Anyone see anything that needs explaining?" Sebastian asked his classmates as everyone stared at him. Sebastian felt a rush of satisfaction as he realized that the majority of the girls, plus most deliciously _Sean, _were eyeing his body appreciatively.

_Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way _

"What the hell is your problem, Sebastian?" Quentin Smythe demanded as he flung Sebastian's bedroom door open shortly after arriving home for the day. "You think I like getting calls at work that my son has been suspended?"

"I dunno," Sebastian answered with a shrug as he looked up from the game he was playing on his phone. "Did it ever grow on you when they used to call about Michael?"

"Don't give me any of your lip. This has nothing to do with your brother. And what the hell is with your grades? I just checked them online. We both know you're lazy as hell and you never try very hard, but you usually keep honor roll anyway. Your grades are shit this period."

"I guess the classes are getting harder," Sebastian responded with another uninterested shrug.

"Gee, then maybe you should try actually studying. You're grounded until you're back on the honor roll, and no allowance for a month for the suspension."

"I thought you wanted to know what my problem actually was?" Sebastian retorted as he glared at his father.

Quentin Smythe returned one of his son's dismissive shrugs as he turned to walk out. "Tell it to your therapist."

_Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing  
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name  
I just want to thank you  
Thank you  
From the bottom of my heart  
For all the sleepless nights  
And for tearing me apart _

**-000-**

_Clean._

Sebastian tasted clean and fresh. If Sam had had any remaining doubts about whether or not he enjoyed kissing Sebastian the taste of his mouth would have removed them. It was an even more pleasant taste than Sam had remembered. Somehow kissing Sebastian made Sam feel fresh and clean too. Sam would have wondered what type of toothpaste or mints Sebastian used. At least he would have wondered that if Sebastian hadn't been busy trying to swallow Sam's tongue.

_I want this too. I want this too._

Sam kept repeating the phrase in his head, almost like a mantra as he tried to push away his lingering hesitancy and just lose himself in the kiss. Everything felt so right. The way Sebastian's body was pressed against his own, the way Sebastian's nails were lightly scrapping across the skin of Sam's lower back where his shirt had ridden up, and god did it feel right the way Sebastian was grinding his hips against Sam's; it all felt so perfect. It felt so good that Sam was curious about it. He wanted to figure out these new feelings. He wanted to question why kissing Sebastian felt so natural yet so exciting. He wanted to figure it out, but he just didn't have the will to try. Everything was just too perfect. Everything except...

"We can't," Sam panted as he rolled on top of Sebastian and then used the increased leverage to pull his mouth away from Sebastian's. It didn't help Sam's resolve that Sebastian was already rubbing him through the front of his pants, but Sam was determined not to let things happen this way. "We can't. I'm sorry."

"Why not?" Sebastian demanded with a frustrated scowl on his face. He usually schooled his emotions better than this, but he was really horny and thoroughly annoyed that Sam was putting on the breaks after giving him the green light. "I thought you wanted this?"

"I do want this," Sam admitted, ignoring the way his stomach flipped in fear at finally verbalizing his revelation. "But we can't. It's Aaron...I've been cheated on before and it hurts like hell...I've even done _this_ before, kissed someone who was in a relationship, and it ruined everything for all three of us. Cheating just never works out and I'm not going down this road again."

Sam avoided looking at Sebastian as he got off the bed and hustled into the adjoining bathroom, closing and locking it behind himself. His whole body was trembling and he couldn't believe everything that was happening to him. Not only had he just admitted that he _wanted_ Sebastian, but he was in yet another fricken love triangle. How unlucky could he be? This had happened in nearly every possible combination now. He had been with a girl who wanted another guy, a girl who wanted another girl, a girl who was already with another guy, and now a guy who was already with another guy. Geez, his life was like a TV dramedy.

Sam splashed some water on his face and tried not to feel ashamed of himself when he looked into the mirror. So much for clean, he was starting to feel dirty now. He noticed a tube of expensive looking face wash near the sink and decided to wash his face properly. Perhaps scrubbing his skin would take away some of that dirty, guilty feeling. At least it would give him a few more minutes to sort out his head before he rejoined Sebastian.

When he returned to the bedroom, his skin tinging slightly, he was unsurprised to find Sebastian sitting on the bed sighing and running a frustrated hand through his hair. Obviously this was as hard on him as it was on Sam. Sam sat down awkwardly on the edge of the bed and reached out to pat Sebastian's shoulder. "I'm really sorry, man."

"Whatever," Sebastian responded with a dismissive shrug. He had decided to give up bedding Sam, at least for now. He had bigger problems. "I'm so dead."

"Because of Aaron?" Sam asked sympathetically.

"No, because of my dad," Sebastian snapped quickly losing his patience. "Look," He held up his phone for Sam to see by way of explanation. While Sam had been in the bathroom Sebastian had checked his phone and discovered a text message from his brother.

Michael: Hey Seb, just a heads up, me and dad pissed each other off and he just left. He's on his way home and he's being a major dick. You should clear out.

"Oh crap, so your dad's coming, and he doesn't know about the party, huh?" Sam asked as he realized Sebastian's plight.

"Right. I'm so fucked. He'll be home in a couple of hours."

"Wait a couple of hours?" Sam asked for confirmation.

Sebastian nodded. "Yeah, he had a meeting in Baltimore this morning, so instead of coming all the way back tonight, he stopped off in Columbus to stay with my brother Michael, but they're always at each other's throats, so now he's driving back tonight, already pissed off. He's going to flip when he sees the house."

"Well why not just send everyone home and clean up real fast?" Sam inquired as he suggested what seemed like an obvious solution.

"I can't get everything cleaned up that fast," Sebastian answered petulantly. He was barely used to even cleaning up after himself; their maid, Malinda, did all the housework. Malinda was off for the rest of the night and Sebastian briefly wondered what his chances were of successfully bribing her into coming back in and not telling his father. He didn't believe for even a minute that he could handle the cleanup by himself. He had no idea how he would have even started such a monumental task.

"I'll help," Sam volunteered. "I used to babysit my little brother and sister. They're probably about equivalent to a party full of drunk teens in terms of messiness."

Hope flashed across Sebastian's face. "You really think we can do it that fast?"

"Yeah, sure, no problem," Sam responded already determined to make it happen. "Come on, lets go get everyone to leave."

Sam didn't wait for a response. Instead he quickly unlocked Sebastian's bedroom door and made his way through the hallway and down the stairs. He was on a mission now and having something tangible to do made him feel better than just sitting around trying to figure out the confusing swirl of feelings that were still spinning in his head. As he reached the bottom of the stairs he saw a large group of people clustered together and decided he'd might as well start with them.

"Hey guys, sorry about this, but Sebastian's dad is on the way home and everyone needs to get going now. You guys all have sober rides?"

There was a murmur of surprise and disappointment before the group started figuring out the logistics of their departure. When he was satisfied that they would get it worked out, Sam made a beeline for the living room. By now Sebastian was trailing along behind him.

"Can you turn off the music?" Sam shouted to his friend. Sebastian nodded and crossed the room to the stereo equipment. When the music stopped everyone looked around in confusion and conversations briefly paused. Sam seized the opportunity that the momentary silence had afforded and spoke up.

"Everyone, sorry this is so abrupt but we're going to have to call it quits on this party. Sebastian's dad is on the way home. If you're in a full group with a designated driver please go ahead and leave. If you're sober and you can fit some extra people in your car please hang back for a bit. Drunk people without rides please come stand by the bar."

"You're really good at this," Sebastian commented as he rejoined Sam, amazed that the majority of guests seemed to be reluctantly following Sam's instructions.

Sam shrugged. "Thanks, I've been at other parties where this kinda thing happened."

Within about twenty minutes everyone who had a ride had left, fitting in as many of the leftover drunks as they could. Only about seven drunk people, plus Aaron, remained. Three of the drunks had already called someone to come and get them and they quickly offered rides to the others. While they waited Sam requested that the more sober of them help with the clean up efforts, and to Sebastian's surprise they did. That just left one slightly drunk problem for Sebastian to contend with.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, Sebby?" Aaron purred as he draped himself around Sebastian.

Sebastian stiffened and glared at him. It was Aaron's fault that Sebastian hadn't gotten to fuck Sam. True it had been Sebastian's idea in the first place to go out with Aaron to make Sam jealous, but that didn't change the fact that the boy was nothing but unwanted complications and trouble at this point.

"I really think you should go, Aaron. In fact I don't think this is working at all. Let's not see each other anymore," Sebastian said, not caring about the way Aaron's face contorted in surprise followed quickly by pain and then anger. He had never actually liked Aaron in the first place. He just wondered how long after this 'break up' he would have to wait until Sam was willing to finally have a go.

"Um, I'll go clean the kitchen," Sam said as he excused himself from their conversation. He was shocked by what Sebastian had just done, but it made him feel kind of good. It was like Sebastian wanted him so much that he was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen in an honest way. Sam felt kind of bad for Aaron, but he was also impressed with Sebastian. What he had done was more than Mercedes had ever been willing to do. He just felt scared and worried about the fact that now he and Sebastian would almost certainly be happening and he had no idea what to expect or if he was really ready for it.

"I don't believe this!" Aaron shrieked. "We just fucked in the shower before the party. I was good enough for you then. What changed all of a sudden?"

"It wasn't really that good," Sebastian answered coolly. "Look, we gave things a try, but there's no reason to draw out the inevitable, right?"

"You asshole!" Aaron snarled as he considered slapping Sebastian. He would have except that he thought Sebastian might hit him back.

Sebastian ignored him and instead directed his attention to a slightly drunk girl who had been wiping down one of the side tables while she waited for her ride. He was pretty sure her name was Kim.

"Hey Kim." The girl looked up. She had been politely pretending not to notice their drama. "Can you take Aaron home? We just broke up and he needs a ride."

"You're a fucking piece of shit, Sebastian! I HATE you!" Aaron yelled. He was in tears now and he was so angry that he was shaking. Aaron gave in to his anger, picked up an empty glass, and hurled it at the ground by Sebastian's feet.

"I'm sure he won't be violent with you," Sebastian remarked calmly to the girl as he spared a glance at the glass shards by his feet. He was glad he was wearing shoes, but overall he was unimpressed with Aaron's hijinks. In fact they didn't even rank near the top in terms of some of the messy breakup behavior he had been on the receiving end of over the last couple of years.

"Okay," Kim answered, wanting to do anything to end the ugly scene. She recognized Aaron from school and felt sorry for him. "Come on, Aaron, let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

"He's a stupid, bitch!" Aaron snapped at Kim as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"It's going to be okay. Don't worry," Kim soothed as she led him out of the room.

Sebastian shook his head and glared at his newest ex's back. He was annoyed that Aaron had just made the cleanup even more difficult. He tried to remember where Malinda kept the broom and dustpan, but came up dry. Perhaps Sam would be able to find them.

"So if you were a stout, middle-aged maid where would you keep a broom?" Sebastian inquired as he walked into the kitchen. He was startled to find Sam making use of the very item in question. He was also pleased to note that Sam had already worked miracles on the kitchen.

Sam looked up from his sweeping and rolled his eyes. "It was in the utility closet in the hallway. There's another one in there if you need it."

"Thanks." Sebastian left the room and went to the closet that Sam had mentioned and opened it. He was somewhat surprised to realize that nothing inside looked at all familiar to him. There were all sorts of tools and cleaning supplies he didn't recognize and he wondered if he had ever even really opened this closet since he and his family had moved in. He quickly located the spare broom and another dustpan and returned to the pile of shattered glass in the living room. As he walked back into the living room he heard voices coming from the outer hallway and upon investigating he was pleased to find Kim, Aaron, and another drunk guest he didn't recognize walking out together, apparently to meet their ride.

"Thanks dude, it was fun," the drunk guest said as he waved to Sebastian, unaware of any tension between his group and Sebastian. Kim gave Sebastian an awkward half nod, while Aaron just glared at him and made sure to be the last person out so that he could slam the front door behind himself. Sebastian couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he hoped that this departure literally closed the door on Aaron being in his life.

Sebastian returned to his task of sweeping up the mess Aaron that had made, but he quickly found it tiresome and far too painstaking for his taste. Whatever his father paid Malinda, Sebastian decided that it wasn't nearly enough.

"You've never done that before have you?" Sam remarked with a laugh as he came back into the room.

"No, how can you tell?" Sebastian responded as he continued fumbling with the broom.

"Because you're holding it all wrong." Sam answered thinking it was a wonder that Sebastian wasn't actually lobbing pieces of glass into the air given the awkward way he was trying to do it.

"There's a special way to hold it?" This was certainly news to Sebastian.

"Of course," Sam answered as he came up behind Sebastian and put his arms around him. He caught a small whiff of Sebastian's now familiar cologne and found himself smiling slightly as he slid his hands over the other boy's on the broom handle, moving Sebastian's into place for him and holding on as they took a few practice sweeps.

"See, much better, right?" Sam asked as he fought the urge to release the broom and wrap his arms around the slightly taller teen.

Sebastian sighed and leaned back against Sam's chest. He was very much enjoying the close proximity that Sam's 'teaching' had necessitated, but he didn't miss the dazed quality in Sam's voice and he was beginning to wonder if perhaps this whole, 'special way to hold a broom' thing was just the blond's excuse to put his arms around him again. If so Sam definitely didn't need an excuse as far as Sebastian was concerned...but it was kind of cute.

Sebastian spread his fingers on the broom handle so that Sam's fell into place beside them. For a second Sebastian felt embarrassed about his impulsive act. Having Sam's fingers interlocked with his own against the ridged plastic felt unexpectedly sensual. He felt strange about it. He felt strange about the way Sam's arms around him were starting to make him feel. It wasn't the way it should have been at all. Lots of people had put their arms around Sebastian before, but the way Sam was doing it simply wasn't right. Sam wasn't ravishing him the way he should have been. He wasn't mauling Sebastian in a lust-filled frenzy. Neither was he clinging to Sebastian desperately like he thought Sebastian was going to try to get away. Sebastian couldn't figure out what was happening. Just what was Sam trying to do?

Sebastian glanced down at their connected hands again, focused on the sensation. Sam's fingers felt contradictory. They were soft in some places, but rough and callused in others. They felt strong and warm. Sebastian found himself wondering if Sam himself was like that. If his hands reflected his nature. He swallowed and tried to remember that this wasn't what he thought of Sam. Sam wasn't strong, and he wasn't callused. He was just soft and warm. He was simply an attractive, naïve boy that Sebastian was seducing. Although Sebastian wouldn't mind if he got a little bit rough too.

"Um, we should clean," Sam said as he disturbed Sebastian from his thoughts and reluctantly forced himself to let go of Sebastian and step away from him. They had a task complete. They had to get everything cleaned up before Sebastian's father got home and Sebastian got into trouble. Besides Sebastian had just broken up with someone and Sam was determined not to move too quickly and mess everything up. Sebastian needed some time._ Sam _needed some time.

"Perhaps after we clean we can get dirty," Sebastian suggested with a wink and a suggestive flick of his tongue. He needed to fuck Sam and get him out of his system. If there was any way that could still happen tonight then it definitely needed to.

"Is anyone else still here?" Sam asked as he pulled an empty trash bag out of his pocket and shook it open so that he could begin clearing away some of the trash littering the room.

"Worried someone might overhear?" Sebastian asked with just the right level of hurt and irritation in his voice. He was back on his game now. Sam wasn't going to distract him with hand holding or hugs from behind. He needed to keep Sam off balance. He didn't really care if Sam did want to keep things quiet. In fact that actually suited his purposes better, but he knew that the blond was always vulnerable to some well placed guilt.

"Nope, uh, just wondering," Sam answered as a small blush colored his cheeks. He inwardly cringed as he realized that Sebastian had at least been partially correct. Sam had been worried about someone overhearing them or walking into the room and seeing him holding Sebastian. But that wasn't right at all. Sam knew that he shouldn't feel like that. Sebastian had just broken up with his boyfriend to be with Sam in an honest way, and now Sam couldn't even handle the possibility that some random drunk stranger might see or hear something. Sam felt ashamed of himself.

"I think everyone's gone now," Sebastian answered as he swept the last of the glass into the dustpan and crossed the room to dump it into Sam's trash bag.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Aaron," Sam said softly as he made eye contact with Sebastian.

Sebastian smiled as he looked into the blond's gentle, concerned face. Sam was making this so easy.

"It's okay. You mean way more to me than he does," Sebastian answered as he gently stroked Sam's arm and gazed into his pale green eyes...Sam was making things so easy that Sebastian hadn't even had to think about his response very much.

Sam swallowed nervously and gave in to the temptation to lean forward and kiss Sebastian. It wasn't a deep kiss and as soon as Sebastian tried to take it to the next level Sam pulled away. He wasn't ready for more, and he was still determined that they finish cleaning up and keep Sebastian out of trouble, but he had wanted to reassure Sebastian; he had wanted to reassure himself. He could do this. He was okay with where things were going.

"We really need to clean," Sam insisted in a shaky voice as he tried not to notice the light dusting of freckles on Sebastian's face or the way he moved his lips in amusement.

Sebastian smiled and leaned his face closer to Sam's again. The blond really was cute with his dedication to their task. The way he seemed to be struggling with himself to keep from closing the small space and re-establishing the kiss was adorable.

"Okay," Sebastian whispered, certain that Sam could feel his breath on those full, sensual lips of his. Sebastian knew he had Sam eating out of the palm of his hand now. "Anyway you're the expert, what should I do?"

Sam had to remind himself what they were talking about. Right, cleaning. "How about while I'm getting all the trash you come behind me and get all the dishes, then one of us will wipe down the surfaces and sweep and mop while the other does the dishes. When we're done with that we'll just tidy and put everything away and then we'll basically be done."

Sebastian nodded; it sounded like a good plan. "I'll handle the dishes since you seem to have more of a knack for sweeping." _And since I don't know where the mop is._

"Okay, deal," Sam grinned as he kicked himself into high gear.

An hour and a half later and Sebastian was straightening everything up and putting it back in place while Sam took the trash out. He knew they were cutting it close but he felt like they had pulled it off. If his dad had walked in right then he was reasonably certain that he could have just talked his way out of any trouble.

Sebastian looked around, careful to make sure nothing was out of place. He couldn't get over how quickly they had done everything. He was also amazed at how cheerful Sam had been about the whole thing. They joked and laughed whenever they were working in the same room and his blond friend genuinely didn't seem put out by helping him. Sebastian was surprised to find himself repeatedly slipping into natural banter with his friend and forgetting about impression management. Sam had kept his spirits high, but Sebastian knew that he needed to stay focused and try to seal the deal and finish with Sam once and for all. It already felt like he had spent too long on him.

"We have a problem," Sam said as he walked back in.

"What is it?" Sebastian asked right away, racking his brain for anything they may have forgotten.

"There's still like four extra vehicles plus mine parked outside," Sam answered.

Sebastian followed Sam outside to look. "Hmm, I think it'll be okay. There's no other evidence of a party or any extra people, so he'll probably think the cars are people at the neighbor's or something. Just don't mention it."

"Oh uh, I was going to go," Sam answered nodding toward his truck and sliding his hand into his pants to find his keys.

"I wish you'd stay. You know, so we can _talk_," Sebastian said innocently.

Sam was conflicted for a few seconds, but then he made up his mind; they did need to talk. "Okay. I'll call Finn and let him know."

Sebastian gave Sam his most charming smile as they turned to go back into the house. Now that he was officially out of the woods in terms of getting into trouble with his dad he could dedicate all his energy into picking up where they had left off. He wondered which route to take. A lot of guys would have been fine with a direct approach by this point, but he sensed Sam's continued reluctance. It might be best to just convince Sam to sleep over again. Sebastian was certain that if he could just get him into bed again tonight that sex was almost a foregone conclusion. True, he would have to endure spending the rest of the night with Sam after they were done, but Sam wasn't really so bad. Maybe he wouldn't mind sharing his bed with the friendly blond for one more night. Besides, Sam had actually been pretty cool to help him out of this mini crisis. Maybe he did deserve just a bit more consideration than Sebastian's typical hook ups.

Sam followed Sebastian back upstairs toward his room. He felt his heart starting to race as he realized he was about to be alone with Sebastian again...in a room with a bed. Suddenly all Sam could think about was the fact that he had been cleaning and _sweating_. He felt really self-conscious and he remembered how fresh and clean Sebastian had tasted and smelled earlier. What if Sebastian was disgusted by the way he smelled? As soon as they were back in Sebastian's room Sam spoke up quickly before anything had a chance to happen.

"You mind if I catch a shower real quick?" Sam asked as he felt all but fixated on the perspiration clinging to his skin.

"Not a problem," Sebastian answered pleasantly before continuing in a suggestive tone. "In fact I could use one myself."

Sam's eyes went wide at the implication and he had to resist the urge to let his mouth drop open. Was Sebastian actually hinting that he wanted to shower with Sam? Sam couldn't deny that he wanted that too. He wanted that _so_ much. In fact one of his dreams the previous week had been about making out with Sebastian in the shower.

However, reality was another thing entirely and Sam already felt like they were moving too quickly. They needed to _talk _and before they even did that Sam felt like he needed to go over everything in his head. He had to do this right and he refused to mess things up by not being comfortable with all the new developments in his life. He wanted Sebastian, he just wanted a little more time to fully acclimate to that fact. A shower wouldn't take very long but it was a start.

"I'll hurry up," Sam blurted out as he all but ran into the bathroom to get away from Sebastian before he could change his mind and give in to temptation.

Sebastian smirked as he heard the click of the bathroom lock. Sam could run but he couldn't hide. Especially since he hadn't taken any clothes to change into after his shower.

**-000-**

**End Note: I hadn't originally planned to end the chapter right here, but this will probably be my last chance to work on it for a while and I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer. Anyway, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I tried to get more into Sebastian's head in this one so I'm very curious about how that came off. **

**On another note, sorry I skipped out on providing you guys with a steamy sex scene when the end of the last chapter _practically_ promised two, Seb/Sean and Seb/Sam. I had never intended to actually have Seb and Sam have sex at this point, but I originally did plan to include a gratuitous Seb/Sean sex scene. Ultimately though it would have indeed have been quite gratuitous and the more important part of the story is Seb's feelings and reactions to what happened so I decided to leave it out.**


	6. Chapter 6: Easy

**What I Want**

**A/N: Uh oh! I smell sex and violence...and no candy whatsoever. **

**Seriously though, reader discretion is very much advised. There's some dark, dirty stuff here that might easily disturb some readers. In fact I would say this is probably the most 'disturbing' chapter of any story I've written and posted at this site – including all my other FF stories. However, I also tried to include some humor, hotness, and characterization throughout. I sure hope that worked, otherwise I've just got a crappy, dark chapter without any redeeming qualities. This is VERY much rated M.**

**Chapter 6 - Easy**

Sean Meunier shivered as he felt goosebumps rise on his arms and neck. He tried to convince himself that it was simply from the cold, that he wasn't scared, that the two large teenagers who were following him across the darkened mall parking lot simply happened to be going in his direction. His inner monologue would have been much more convincing, however, if he hadn't clearly heard a voice say 'that's him' before the two brawny teens had started tailing him.

Sean risked another backward glance, silently praying that he would see them casually chatting to each other and paying him no attention. No such luck. He briefly made eye contact with one of the boys, a tall, heavyset white guy who was built like a football lineman. The possible lineman gave him a hybrid sneer-smile that made Sean's stomach quiver. That settled it, they were definitely following him and they definitely had malicious intent. Sean quickly cast his eyes all around the lot, desperate to find either an escape route or at least someone who could help him. That was when he noticed an expensive looking sports car parked about a hundred feet ahead and a couple of rows to the left. Leaning against the car was a tall, attractive young man who looked to be roughly a few years older than Sean and probably also older than the two thuggish brutes following him. Sean's hurried assessment of the young man told him that the guy was about college age and that he was most definitely the type of older guy Sean would typically have tried to hit on under normal circumstances. These weren't normal circumstances; however, and on this evening Sean had no interest in getting anything from striking stranger other than safety.

Sean could sense that the two teens behind him had sped up their pace and closed some of the distance between themselves and Sean. It was now or never.

"Help!" Sean screamed as he broke into a run toward the sports car and stranger. To his relief the man moved away from the car and began calmly walking toward him.

Sean's relief was short-lived; however, when moments later 'lineman guy' demonstrated his adeptness at tackling and laid Sean out on the hard, rough concrete of the parking lot. As he landed face first Sean attempted to shield himself with his arms but he couldn't get them into position fast enough and instead he succeeded only in scrapping his forearms, along with his chin, on the rocky surface as he hit the ground hard. Sean winced and tried to catch his breath. He realized that his attacker was still hanging on to his legs, making it impossible for him to climb back onto his feet and run. He tried to kick the teen away but before he could free himself his second assailant joined the scene and piled on top of Sean. This second boy, a muscular black guy, was much lighter than the first, but he nevertheless managed to throw himself down with agonizing force. Sean was certain that his stomach and chest would now be just as bruised and scraped as his arms and chin.

Sean looked up, managing only to raise his head. The stranger who had been approaching was his only hope and he soon spied the young man's leather shoes as he approached on foot.

"Help me, please help me!" Sean shouted at the tall stranger as he finally came to halt a short distance from the dogpile.

"Get him up," the young man ordered calmly. Sean blinked in surprise and felt his blood run cold as the pieces fell into place and he realized that the stranger's presence wasn't coincidental. It hadn't occurred to him until now that the young man may have in some way been associated with his attackers, but as the two teens quickly hauled Sean to his feet and pinned his arms behind his back it became painfully obvious that he was calling the shots.

"Did you say you needed help?" the stranger asked in a pleasant, kindly voice.

"Ye...yes," Sean stammered, terrified. "Please don't hurt me."

"You mean like this?" the good-looking man smiled cruelly before slamming his fist into the side of Sean's jaw.

Sean felt his face explode in pain and if the other two boys hadn't been holding him in place he would have crumpled to the ground. The thugs merely squeezed his arms more tightly and laughed. The blow to Sean's face was followed in quick succession by a series of punches to his stomach and chest.

"Why are you doing this?!" Sean yelled hysterically as he tried in vain to free his arms. When that didn't work he quit supporting his weight and kicked out wildly at the other boys' legs. He efforts yielded no results other than his two captors taking the opportunity to force him down onto his knees, putting him in an even more vulnerable position.

"Why am I doing this?!" The man demanded as he reached back and grabbed a handful of hair on the back of Sean's head, forcing his head back and glaring at him. "I'm doing this because you fucked my little brother!" The man snarled and released Sean's head as he slammed a hard right hook into Sean's left eye. "You fucked him and then you threw away like a used condom!" The impact dazed Sean and left him frantically trying to assess the new damage; at least his neck wasn't broken and though it was rapidly becoming impossible to keep his eye open his sight still seemed to be fine.

"Who's your brother?" Sean whined still trying to make sense out of what was happening.

The man's deep green eyes narrowed angrily. "Wrong answer," he said before his left hook connected with Sean's other eye. "Just how many guys have you done that too?"

"Sebastian," Sean gasped as the pieces finally fell into place and he realized that the good-looking stranger had similar features.

"Ah, so you do remember him," Michael stated, chuckling to himself and seeming slightly appeased now that Sean had figured it out.

"Of course, of course," Sean insisted rapidly. "Seb's a great guy. Really nice."

"No he's not," Michael countered with a derisive laugh. "He's an entitled little shit, but he's family and I take that seriously. No one is going to fuck with him."

"I'm sorry," Sean said lamely, hoping that was the response his tormentor wanted to hear.

"Oh you're sorry?" Michael asked gently as he placed his hand on Sean's shoulder. Sean winced and closed his swelling eyes, bracing for the next blow. "Okay, then. I'll let you off easy_ this_ time."

"Easy?" Sean gasped sarcastically before he could help it. He mentally kicked himself.

"Oh yes. Easy," Michael responded before leaning close to Sean and whispering in his ear. "You know these guys will do almost _anything_ if I pay them enough, and believe me I _will_ pay them enough if you ever hurt him again."

"I won't go near him," Sean promised quickly.

"Good. By the way, if you felt tempted to report this, don't. Apart from being a generally bad idea for your personal safety, I also happen to have been out with a group of friends tonight, all night. All the way in Columbus too. No way I could have been anywhere near this mall and I have half a dozen witnesses to prove it."

Sean morosely nodded his acceptance and fell to the ground as he was finally released.

**-000-**

*Two Days Earlier*

Sebastian stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel from the nearby rack. After briefly toweling himself off he used the towel to wipe away the layer of steam that had formed on his mirror and then he took a few moments to carefully examine himself in the reflection.

He had been working out since he had started high school earlier that year and since his encounter with Sean almost a month ago he had thrown himself into it with even more vigor. He fantasized about being so hot that Sean would plead for a second chance with him. Some of these fantasies would end with him laughing and rejecting Sean. However, in just as many he would decide to take him back after making him prove himself. Of course a few slightly different fantasies consisted of not really saying much at all, just ripping Sean's clothes off and having a modified repeat performance of their first time, this time on Sebastian's terms. Those particular fantasies usually ended with Sebastian moaning and cumming hard on his newly-developed abs and chest.

Sebastian flexed and turned in the mirror. He was pleased with the results he had gotten so far. He was still quite lean and slender, but he was rapidly acquiring very toned musculature. He sort of liked the fact that he looked like the same skinny guy he had always been under his clothes, but once they were removed he fancied he could pass for an underwear model. Sebastian frowned slightly and reconsidered...well an aspiring underwear model at least.

Sebastian sighed in frustration and wrapped the towel around his waist; he wasn't in fact aspiring to be an underwear model, or much of anything else right now. All he really wanted was for Sean to regret his actions. Perhaps Sebastian would write a song about it. He still sort of wanted to be a performer someday.

"Oh fuck, Michael! What the hell?" Sebastian demanded as he pulled open the door to his adjoining bedroom and nearly jumped out of his skin – and his towel – at the unexpected sight of his brother sitting on his bed. Sebastian's still-damp chest was pounding in surprise and a hostile glare had already formed on his face.

"Quit swearing at me and come sit down," Michael ordered, giving the space on the other side of the bed a pointed look.

"You mind if I get dressed first?" Sebastian asked sarcastically with his arms folded over his chest and a new glare on his face.

"I'd prefer it," Michael answered smartly. He was unimpressed with Sebastian's repertoire of glares; he had seen them all many times over the years.

Sebastian gave up trying to stare down his brother and petulantly strode across the room and into his walk-in closet, pulling the door shut behind him and emerging a short while later in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Okay. What do you want?" Sebastian grumbled as he took a seat on the bed.

"A new brother," Michael quipped. "But since I'm stuck with you I want to know why you've been walking around like you have a stick up your ass."

"Fuck off," Sebastian snarled.

"I mean it, Seb, what's the problem? You've not only been a bigger bastard than usual lately, you've been a _mopey_ bastard. What's the deal?"

"It's none of your business," Sebastian snapped.

Michael sighed. He hated his brother. Ordinarily he would have just told his dad to go fuck himself when he asked him to talk to Sebastian about whatever his problem was. It wasn't like he didn't relish the idea of his little brother making their father's life hell in his absence. Besides he was miles away in Columbus most of the time at college, and would be again as soon as the break was over. He could put up with Sebastian's mood swings until then. Still, something did seem legitimately wrong with Sebastian, and their useless father wouldn't be any help. Michael knew he had to suck it up and deal with it himself. He braced himself for what he had to do.

"Sebastian, I'm sorry," he said with a contrite smile. "I shouldn't have been making jokes at your expense." He locked his own hazel eyes with his brother's and put a gentle hand on his back. "I'm just worried about you. Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

Sebastian set his jaw and glared harder at his older brother, angry that he was trying to manipulate him.

"Geez Mike, I'm not a kid anymore. You can't just be nice for thirty seconds and get your way."

"Just fucking tell me, asswipe," Michael demanded pulling his hand away from Sebastian's back and then using it a moment later to shove him.

"Nothing okay! Just normal life drama. Shit! Just leave me alone," Sebastian recrossed his arms and pondered whether or not he had the strength to physically remove his brother from his room. No chance.

"Bullying?" Michael asked feeling a familiar swell of protective anger at the notion.

Sebastian frowned and shook his head. Apparently they had progressed to the Guessing Game portion of the conversation.

"Guy trouble?" Michael asked, positing what he felt was the second most likely scenario. A feeling of triumph surged through him as he noted his brother's startled reaction to the question. He still shook his head, but he had paused and reacted first. Guy trouble it was. "What's his name?"

"Fuck you."

"Sounds like you shouldn't have any trouble getting him to put out then," Michael teased.

"Oh I didn't," Sebastian said bitterly.

Realization flashed through Michael. "What's the fucker's name?" he asked again in a calmer, more dangerous voice.

Sebastian glanced up at his brother, unsure of what to do. Michael always got what he wanted when he set his mind to it, and Sebastian recognized that look of determination on his face.

"What's his FUCKING NAME?" Michael demanded more loudly.

"Sean Meunier," Sebastian answered quietly.

"Did he hurt you?"

Sebastian looked away again and rage coursed through Michael as he more or less got his answer. He had to know for sure though.

"Did he fucking hurt you?" Michael demanded again, shaking Sebastian's shoulder.

Shame, anger, and sadness warred for control of Sebastian and he felt his eyes starting to sting. This had to be one of the single most humiliating moment of his life.

"It was my first time. It was supposed to hurt," Sebastian snapped defensively, not wanting to come off as weak or unable to take care of himself, even if it had been somewhat true in this instance.

Michael felt the wholly unfamiliar urge to put his arms around his brother and hug him. "Was it consensual?" he asked, suppressing the ridiculous impulse and focusing instead on finding out what he needed to know.

Sebastian shrugged. "Mostly...sort of."

"Date rape?" Michael asked.

Sebastian laughed derisively. "No of course not. We were never a couple...he already has a boyfriend. He just wanted to hookup."

"And you didn't want to?"

Sebastian shrugged again. "I...I guess I kinda like him."

"You wanted more," Michael supplied.

"God, I couldn't have handled more!" Sebastian exclaimed nervously.

Michael's eyes widened in surprise and disgust crossed his face. "I meant-"

"I know what you meant," Sebastian interrupted before frowning and responding to the original statement. "Yeah, I wanted more."

"You know he doesn't mean shit. He's just an asshole who..." Michael stopped short of saying 'didn't know what he had.' He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he made a remark like that, especially to Sebastian. "Who fucked up and doesn't deserve a second thought."

"Well, it not like I can just turn off my feelings!" Sebastian snapped.

Michael laughed. "Of course you can. You'll get the hang of it." Sebastian didn't answer right away so Michael continued. "Look you want my advice?"

"Not really, but go ahead."

"Find someone else. Find five someone elses. Hell find ten. You'll see that this guy isn't unique or special at all. He's just a douchebag. If you want to get over him then go get under someone else. It's easy...just don't let them hurt you...and use condoms...and for godsake don't tell me about it."

"That sounds like fun, but I really don't see how it would help," Sebastian said.

"Sure it would help. Trust me, you won't feel anything for him anymore," Michael answered.

**-000-**

Quentin Smythe shivered with rage. He tried to convince himself that his son was just growing up, carving out his own place in the world, that he would still do fine in life even if he didn't follow exactly in his father's footsteps. His inner monologue would have been much more convincing, however, if Michael hadn't clearly and explicitly said that he didn't want to be anything like his father.

Quentin glanced at his ringing cell phone, silently praying that it would be his son calling to apologize. Even if he knew Michael's apology would have been hollow he would have still been delighted to hear it. No such luck. The caller ID read 'Vanessa Cell.'

"Hello," Quentin answered.

"Hi honey, are you still at Michael's?" the young woman inquired.

"No, we had a huge fight so I'm on the way home," Quentin responded.

Vanessa sighed audibly into the phone. "You shouldn't visit him, dear. He always upsets you and he doesn't respect you or appreciate everything you do for him."

"He's my son," Quentin answered defensively. The last thing he felt like doing was defending Michael against his step-mother's judgment. "Besides, I wanted to see Anna."

Vanessa frowned on her end of the line. "He should have taken your advice about Anna."

"Did you want something?" Quentin asked his wife coldly.

"Just called to say I love you, dear," Vanessa responded sweetly. "And that I'll be home tomorrow."

"Okay," Quentin answered indifferently.

"Okay then," Vanessa said, annoyed that her husband was in such a foul mood. "I'll see you then."

Quentin put away his phone and sighed as he pulled into the driveway and clicked to open the garage. At least the house looked quiet enough and Sebastian's car was in the garage. Perhaps one of his kids wasn't causing trouble for a change. If Sebastian was home then he could damn well listen to Quentin's tirade about what a screw up his brother was.

"Sebastian! Sebastian!" Quentin called from the foot of the stairs after entering the house.

_Damn!_ Sebastian thought as he realized his father was home. Sam would be coming out of the shower any minute and he certainly didn't want to miss that. On the other hand he didn't really want to invite his dad to sit and watch either so he decided he'd better get down the stairs before his father came up.

Sebastian had been lying on his bed, naked and half hard. His plan was to wait for Sam to come out of the shower, probably wearing only a towel, and then to brush by him, nude as he explained that he needed a shower too. He was certain of two things, that Sam couldn't and wouldn't object to that, and that it would significantly further his chances of sleeping with him tonight. Instead Sebastian had to scramble back into his clothes and try to head off his father.

"Sebastian," Quentin called again as he opened his son's bedroom door.

Sebastian grumbled and realized he was too late. He had only succeeded in pulling on a pair of briefs and a polo shirt which he'd had out. He decided to just go with it.

"Hi dad. You're home early. How was the meeting?" Sebastian inquired pleasantly as he sat back down on his bed, trying to act casual about the fact that he wasn't wearing any pants.

"Who's in the shower?" Quentin asked, not missing the sound of the water or the fact that his son was in a state of semi-undress.

"Just a friend," Sebastian said dismissively. "He was going to stay over tonight. You know, so I wouldn't get lonely by myself."

"You don't get lonely," Quentin remarked as they both heard the water shut off. Quentin hoped the boy in the shower wouldn't come out naked, but he wasn't going to let that possibility dissuade him from venting. "The meeting was fine, but your brother's an idiot," Quentin went on, getting back on topic.

Sebastian bristled slightly at the comment but didn't respond. He was doing his best not to antagonize his father. He just wanted him to get out so he could return his attention to Sam. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"No damnit!" Quentin snapped, tired of sons blowing him off. "Do you know what he wants to do?"

"What's that?" Sebastian asked realizing that he would just have to humor his dad.

"Go to school part-time next semester!" Quentin declared as though his eldest son had expressed a desire to slaughter children in a third world nation.

Just then Sam pulled open the door from Sebastian's adjoining bedroom and nearly jumped out of his skin – and his towel – as he unexpectedly found his friend chatting with an older man he didn't recognize, but presumed to be his father. His still-damp chest was pounding in surprise, but he quickly tightened the towel and smiled apologetically.

"Excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm Sam," he said as he dried his hand on his towel-clad hip and then extended it by way of introduction.

"Quentin Smythe, pleased to meet you," Quentin answered as he shook hands with the blond. "I'm impressed. Sebastian's dates don't usually stay long enough for a shower," Quentin remarked.

"Uhh..." Sam trailed off at a loss for what to say.

"Come sit down, Sam," Sebastian said, patting the space next to himself on the bed. "My dad's just being a smart ass."

Sam self-consciously crossed the room and took a seat next to Sebastian. Thanks to his past occupation, as well as frequent team showers in the locker room over the years, Sam wasn't normally uncomfortable being naked or barely dressed, but under Quentin Smythe's hard glare he found himself desperately wishing for a full set of clothes.

"You watch your language, young man," Quentin snapped at Sebastian, already bordering on furious at the disrespectful remark thanks to his short temper from his earlier visit with his elder son.

"So why does Michael want to go part-time? Because of Anna?" Sebastian asked successfully redirecting his father's rage toward his brother and away from himself.

"Probably, but that's no excuse," Quentin answered. "As much money as I send him every month he can damn well finish school like a normal person. He was grumpy and rude as hell all evening too. Then he even had the audacity to announce that he may not go to law school when he graduates. That's ridiculous; he's been planning to be a lawyer for practically his entire life. Now suddenly he's not _sure_! What the hell is wrong with him?"

Actually their father had planned for Michael, and himself, to go to law school since they were kids. Sebastian had always resisted the idea, but as far as he knew Michael had accepted it and seemed to want to do it; he was slightly surprised by the news. Then another thought crossed his mind based on what his father _hadn't _mentioned at all.

"So where did you go for dinner?" Sebastian inquired.

"For dinner?" Quentin looked at his son strangely, not seeing what that had to do with anything. "I stopped at a steakhouse before I got there. I think Michael heated something up."

"You didn't take him out to eat? For his _birthday?_" Sebastian glared at the man. He had been right about his hunch; his father had obviously forgotten. "So I'm guessing you didn't get him anything either? You know that's probably why he was in such a bad mood."

"Crap, it was his birthday today?" Quentin took out his phone and checked the calendar.

"Yeah dad, he has one every year this time. He's strange that way."

"Well hell! Stacey didn't tell me," Quentin answered trying to redirect some of his anger toward his assistant to keep from feeling abashed by his own actions.

"Stacey has such a terrible habit of forgetting things like our birthdays and Christmases," Sebastian said as an aside to Sam.

"Oh shut up," Quentin snapped not at all amused. "I've never forgotten Christmas, or even your birthday for that matter."

"I'm the favorite," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes at Sam.

Quentin smirked and took out his wallet. "Earn it by picking out something for your brother," he instructed as he handed Sebastian his credit card.

"I _already_ picked something out for him and he got it on time too," Sebastian answered.

"Well now pick something out for me. And next time remind me. If you do I'll pay for your gift too," Quentin offered as a bribe.

"Fine," Sebastian answered taking the plastic card and setting it on the bed. "Anything else?" He was more than ready for his father to leave him alone with Sam.

"Your step-mother will be home tomorrow," Quentin said.

"Oh boy!" Sebastian squealed in exaggerated excitement before turning to Sam. "Malibu mommy's coming home from vacation. Complete with bleach blonde hair and tacky accessories no doubt.

"Sebastian don't be a prick," Quentin chided as he turned to leave the room. "I'm going to bed."

As soon as his father left the room Sebastian turned to Sam and grinned as he picked it up his father's credit card. "So, do you think they'll let me buy a house and charge it?"

Sam snickered, but then looked at Sebastian more seriously. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah of course, why?" Sebastian answered.

"Just seemed like kind of a rough chat with your dad. It sucks he forgot your brother's birthday." Sam couldn't imagine either of his parents ever forgetting his or his siblings' birthdays. Even when they'd had virtually no money at all they had done _something_ to acknowledge and celebrate the special days.

"Yeah, but he's going to pay for it, _literally._ I'm going to get Michael season tickets to the Reds."

"Wow! That'll be so cool," Sam exclaimed.

"Anyway, I need a shower," Sebastian said as he stood up. "Don't go anywhere." With that he touched Sam's exposed navel and lightly trailed his fingers down the thin treasure trail until it disappeared beneath the towel.

Sam automatically tensed up in reaction, but was then surprised to feel a pulse of interest shoot to his crotch. Evidently his body didn't mind the implications Sebastian was making, even if his mind thought they were rushing things a bit.

"Um, can I borrow some clothes?" Sam asked, feeling desperate again to get dressed.

Sebastian smiled and shook his head as he walked toward the bathroom. "No," he called simply as he left, closing the door behind him.

Sam stared after Sebastian, nonplussed. It hadn't occurred to him that Sebastian might actually say no, and he couldn't figure out whether or not he was being serious. He doubted Sebastian minded the simple use of his clothes; after all he had lent Sam clothing the last time he stayed over and Sebastian seemed to have quite a lot of clothes. His only objection could be on the grounds that he wanted Sam to stay naked and towel-clad...or not towel-clad. The notion brought a blush to Sam's face and he once again felt excitment surge beneath the thin cloth of his only covering.

Nevertheless, excited or not, horny or not, Sam wasn't ready for naked activities with Sebastian just yet and he knew it. He had still barely wrapped his head around the fact that he seemed to be on the verge of entering a relationship _with a guy._ Sex could wait, and refusal or not Sam was going to borrow a pair of pajamas.

Sebastian caught himself doing something odd as he showered: smiling about something Sam had said earlier in the evening. As soon as he realized what was happening he frowned and shook his head to clear it of the unusual thoughts. He certainly didn't mind smiling or being amused per se, but Sam wasn't supposed to have that particular effect on him. Unbidden thoughts quickly rushed to Sebastian's mind before he could stop them. The way Sam's fingers felt between his own as the blond held him from behind and showed him how to sweep while they were cleaning. The way Sam felt cuddled against his chest the last time they had shared a bed. The way Sam's mouth tasted. The way he smelled. The excited tone in his voice when he answered Sebastian's calls. Then before he could stop himself Sebastian also thought about the way Sam had gone out of his way to help him stay out of trouble that night. The way Sam had gone out of his way to help Finn. The way he had gone out of his way to protect Sebastian at the mall. True enough Sebastian had orchestrated those last two events himself, but it didn't change the kind of person Sam was.

"Fuck!" Sebastian exclaimed as he threw a bottle of body wash against the shower wall in frustration.

As if on cue a few moments later Sam knocked on the door and called out loud enough to be heard over the shower, "you ok, Seb?"

"Right, I get it; you're considerate," Sebastian mumbled sarcastically to himself before raising his voice to answer. "Yeah, fine. Just dropped the body wash."

Sebastian took a deep breath and willed the disturbing thoughts away. He didn't know what was happening to him or why Sam was getting to him. The only thing Sebastian knew for certain was that it would be a mistake to allow himself to develop real feelings for Sam. Sebastian simply wasn't the monogamous, serious boyfriend type. Besides it would be pathetic to fall for Sam so easily, especially when he would probably just decide he was straight after all and dump him at the first sign of trouble.

As Sebastian turned off the shower and began toweling off he refocused his mind on sex and reminded himself that that's what Sam was here for. He had worked harder for this conquest than he had for most of his previous ones and he knew he needed to just get these idiotic thoughts out of his head and close the deal.

Sebastian smoothed out his damp hair, and examined himself in the mirror. He smirked, certain that Sam would like what he saw. Next he tied the towel very low on his waist and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Whew, that shower felt good," Sebastian announced as he walked into the bedroom, wanting to make sure that he had Sam's attention. He needn't have tried. Sam had already thought about the fact that Sebastian would be coming out of the shower damp and nearly naked, and though Sam wanted to slow things down a bit his curiosity had easily won out. As soon as he heard Sebastian shuffling around in the bathroom preparing to leave his eyes had already focused on the door.

Sam wasn't disappointed. He had seen Sebastian in just his underwear before of course the last time he had stayed over, but this time was definitely different. This time Sam could admit to himself that he was interested. This time he could look. And look he did. Sebastian was slim, but he was all sinewy muscles and hard lines. Sam decided that Sebastian's body was not unlike Mike's in that regard. There even seemed to be a similar air of gracefulness and well-proportioned beauty about it. Suddenly confusion crossed Sam's face as he wondered when he had noticed any of those things about Mike's body.

"You okay, Sam?" Sebastian asked with amusement as he saw Sam's expression shift from intent interest to obvious confusion.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," Sam assured him.

"Do you like what you see?" Sebastian asked as he crossed the room and came to stand near the bed next to Sam.

Startled by the sudden close proximity to the nearly naked boy, Sam rolled off the far side of the bed and jumped out before blushing deeply at his over reaction. _Way to go, you literally just ran away from him._

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that," Sam apologized as he cautiously walked back toward Sebastian.

"You're nervous," Sebastian said calmly as he approached Sam, meeting him at the foot of the bed and coming to rest just a few inches away.

"Um, yeah I guess," Sam agreed, trying to decide whether to close the small distance between them and kiss Sebastian, or to back away toward what felt like relative safety. Safety won out.

"You know what would help?" Sebastian asked softly as he eased forward ever so slightly.

"Hmm?" Sam mumbled as his eyes found their way to Sebastian's chest. Sam quickly chided himself and looked back up into Sebastian's face, embarrassed that he had just done what he had always been careful not to do when talking to girls.

"Touching," Sebastian answered as he reached down and took Sam's hand, placing it on his chest and leaning into it.

"This is _not_ making me less nervous," Sam assured him as his fingers traced the lines of Sebastian's chest and he found himself mesmerized by the hard nub of Sebastian's left nipple. Sebastian remained silent as Sam continued his tentative exploration, eventually tracing his fingers lightly over the grooves of Sebastian's abs and even playfully pressing his index finger against Sebastian's navel.

"I uh, I like this," Sam said awkwardly as he looked into Sebastian's eyes.

"My bellybutton?" Sebastian inquired, reminding Sam where his finger was still resting.

Sam's face broke into a wide grin and he laughed softly. "Well yeah that too I guess, but the whole thing in general."

"Good, because you can touch _the whole thing_," Sebastian answered with a smirk.

Sam's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly. "I think we should slow down. I mean I...I'm enjoying this, but uh we should slow down."

"Okay," Sebastian agreed quietly as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sam, trapping the blond's fingers between their bodies.

A switch seemed to flip in Sam and the next thing he knew he had surged forward and connected their lips, initiating a deep, frenzied kiss, that was anything but slow. Sebastian just felt _so good_ against his body, against his mouth. They kissed for nearly a minute before Sam felt a hardness pressing against his hip and stumbled back in surprise, the reality of the situation once again breaking through his consciousness.

"Y-you...your," Sam mumbled, pointing at the bulge beneath Sebastian's towel.

"Yeah Sam, that happens when I kiss hot guys. Looks like I'm not the only one either," Sebastian answered nodding toward the erection tenting the front of Sam's blue pajama pants.

Sam gaped in surprise, unaware of his 'problem' until Sebastian had pointed it out. He immediately reached into his pants and tucked it into the waistband.

Sebastian snickered. "You know watching you touch yourself isn't exactly killing my erection. Especially since you just flashed your cockhead."

"Oh my god, really?!" Sam gasped in horror.

"Yep," Sebastian answered. Sam had actually done no such thing, but Sebastian wanted him to think that he had. "Sam, just take it easy. This is the fun part."

"What?"

"This," Sebastian answered moving forward and reestablishing their kiss. He wasted no time in shamelessly rubbing Sam's manhood through his pants with his left hand while his right arm was around Sam's back, firmly holding him in place, not that Sam seemed especially eager to back away this time.

Sam whined and ground himself harder against Sebastian's hand while his tongue invaded Sebastian's mouth, once again reveling in the way he tasted. He wanted to stop Sebastian; he wanted to stop himself - but it just felt too good. Instead his hands traveled to Sebastian's back and then the next thing he knew they were squeezing Sebastian's ass through his towel. His butt felt incredible and it made Sam buck harder against Sebastian's hand. Sam was struck with an overwhelming desire to feel Sebastian's ass _directly,_ and so letting his hormones lead the way he slipped his hands beneath the towel and gripped Sebastian's hard, bare cheeks. Predictably the towel fell off in the process and Sam had another brief moment of clarity in which he realized that he was having an intense make out session and getting some over-the-pants action from an aroused, naked _guy_ whose ass he couldn't keep his hands off of. This time instead of making him stop the revelation turned him on even more and he tipped them both over onto the bed.

They landed on their sides, barely breaking their frenetic kiss, but almost immediately Sebastian was rolling on top of Sam and sitting up. He didn't mind being naked, but Sam was wearing entirely too many clothes for his taste. Sam started to protest, thinking that Sebastian had decided to stop just when he had fully let go and gotten into it, but as soon as he realized what Sebastian was actually doing he wordless complied, raising his arms and allowing Sebastian to pull the shirt off over his head.

"Nice!" Sebastian exclaimed enjoying Sam's bare torso and taking the time to run his hands across Sam's hard, rippled abdomen and well-developed chest. "You're really hot, Sam," Sebastian said as he traced the musculature of Sam's sides with his fingers, then paused and jumped to his biceps and hard forearms.

"So are you," Sam said as confidently as he could. There was no denying that simple fact as he got to see Sebastian naked for the first time. His cock definitely took some getting used to, but Sam was already getting to the point where he kind of wanted to touch it to see what it would feel like doing that to another guy. Sebastian was absolutely right; his curiosity was getting the better of him.

Sebastian noticed Sam's attention and shifted back on the bed so that his erection jutted straight toward him. Sam licked his full lips in a mixture of focused determination and general interest. He tentatively raised his arm and started reaching toward his new goal, briefly stopping to give Sebastian a questioning look.

"Go ahead," Sebastian said with a nod.

Sam slowly closed his hand around Sebastian's shaft and then gave it a few experimental jerks. "Weird!" he exclaimed awestruck, before proceeding to gently rub circles around the underside of Sebastian's head with his thumb. "I like it," he declared decisively a moment later.

Sebastian laughed and leaned forward, thrusting himself into Sam's hand. "Someone has a new toy," he remarked.

Sam looked slightly embarrassed but a goofy smile spread across his face and he nodded. Sebastian had slept with quite a few guys who had never been with other guys before, but Sam's reactions still nevertheless managed to seem unique and refreshing, as well as generally adorable. Acting on impulse he eased forward on top of Sam again and reconnected their mouths as he began grinding his exposed erection against the length of Sam's still clothed one.

Sam felt like he was on sensory overload. Everything was happening so fast, and it was all so new and exciting. A nagging voice in the back of his head kept reminding him that he should stop, but a stronger part of him just wanted to live in the moment and see what would happened next. He knew how the basic mechanics of gay sex were supposed to work, but he was still very hazy on the actual details. He wouldn't have been altogether surprised if Sebastian had stopped what they were doing and pulled out some unfathomable sex aid, or if he had evoked the spirits of gay angels to bless their encounter. How could Sam stop now and potentially miss something like that? At least that's what he told himself as he willed his brain to shut down and let his instincts take over.

Sam found his hands gripping Sebastian's buttocks with a frenzied desperation and he felt like their making out wasn't giving him everything he needed. He had to figure out a way to have Sebastian more fully. His hands quickly traveled up to Sebastian's biceps and in one fluid motion he rolled them over on the bed and pinned Sebastian beneath him. Sebastian gave him a questioning, smug look that more or less translated into 'and what are you going to do now?' Sam simultaneously wanted to remove that look from Sebastian's face and also to simply satisfy his churning hormones. He gave Sebastian a hard, quick kiss on the lips before grabbing his chin and tilting his head to the side, immediately sealing his lips around the muscles on the side of Sebastian's neck and sucking hard, throwing in occasional light bites and nips to keep things interesting.

Judging by the sounds Sebastian was making Sam knew that he was on the right track. In fact this aggressive version of Sam was exactly what Sebastian had been hoping for. Due to the angle at which Sam was holding his head, Sebastian couldn't really see, but eventually he succeeded in hooking his fingers into the waistband of Sam's pajamas and pulling his pelvis closer, reminding the blond that they both had penises that needed some attention.

Sam took the hint and began thrusting himself against Sebastian as he continued sucking and nipping at his neck. Eventually his mouth found its way to the sensitive skin around Sebastian's collarbone and the Warbler began grunting and writhing beneath him.

"Ahh, you like that huh?" Sam murmured with his mouth still in place and a definite tone of smugness in his own voice.

"God yes, harder!" Sebastian demanded as he wrapped his legs around Sam's still-frustratingly-clothed waist.

Sam wasn't sure if Sebastian's request was directed at his thrusting or if he wanted him to bite and suck harder. For good measure Sam did both. His erection strained the confines of the cotton sleepwear as he made sure that each long thrust, pressed against Sebastian's ass and then slid upward over his cock and balls.

"Unnn," Sebastian moaned as he squeezed Sam's body harder with his thighs. "I told you not to put on those damn pajamas."

"Sorry," Sam apologized insincerely as his mouth worked its way back up to Sebastian's jawline.

Sebastian sighed and thrust himself up against Sam's firm stomach. At least his own cock was free. If Sam didn't want to bring his out to play Sebastian could still have fun.

Sam felt an intriguing sticky wetness where Sebastian's organ touched him, and so while he continued his oral labors on Sebastian's throat, neck, and jaw he moved his hand down to investigate.

"Yeah, stroke it," Sebastian pleaded as he bucked into Sam's hand at the initial contact.

Sam gave him a few pacifying jerks before settling his attention on the moist head of the organ and smearing the precum all across Sebastian's sensitive glans.

"Oh fuck, yeah! Mmmm," Sebastian moaned lewdly at the sensitive assault, and soon Sam found himself getting so worked up by the sounds coming out of Sebastian's throat that his tongue was once again pressing it's way back through Sebastian's lips. This time both boys sucked and kissed hard and Sebastian felt a needy ache in his cock thanks to the way Sam was working him over.

Using the leverage afforded him by his thighs around Sam's hips, Sebastian tilted his lover sideways and rolled them back over, once again claiming the top position for himself.

"These fricken pants are coming off!" Sebastian declared hooking his fingers into the waistband. Sam gave a small nod that Sebastian didn't bother noticing as he yanked the material off Sam's hips and got his first look at Sam's equipment.

"You have a really beautiful cock, Sam," Sebastian praised him genuinely as he rubbed the flats of his hands over it a few times, pressing it back against Sam's body and watching it spring up again. "Nice balls too."

Sam laughed a nervous laugh. "Uh thanks I guess. I've never gotten that before."

"Then you must have been fucking morons or blind people," Sebastian responded before abruptly bending over and taking Sam's length in his mouth.

"Whoaaa," Sam gasped, shocked at the unexpected gesture and the speed with which Sebastian had started deep throating his not insignificant length. Girls had always taken much longer to work their way up to what Sebastian was doing, but the guy was already pressing his nose against Sam's light brown pubes on each of his downward bobs. While he sucked him he gently rolled Sam's balls around with the fingers of one hand while rubbing and squeezing his abs with the other.

"You are _really_ good at that," Sam gasped gratefully as he let his hands tangle into Sebastian's dark hair, kneading his scalp.

Soon the tips of Sebastian's fingers were rubbing and pressing against Sam's perineum while he continued gently playing with his balls with his palm and forefingers. Sam let out a strangled grunt and thought for a second that he was going to cum, but reading Sam's reaction and feeling his balls starting to draw up, Sebastian quickly broke his rhythm and adjusted the suction on Sam's cock, successfully bring up back down from the edge. Sam didn't know whether to be disappointed that he had been denied what felt like it would have been a pretty explosive release, or if he should be grateful that Sebastian was helping draw out the pleasure. He decided on the latter reaction as Sebastian's swirling tongue and deft fingers continued sending shock waves of pleasure throughout his body.

"Damn, you should seriously do this for a living!" Sam enthused too lost in the sensation to realize at first what he had said. "Oh god, I so didn't mean it that way. I mean you're just really good, but not like prostitute good...well uhh maybe that good, I wouldn't know of course, but...Uh, you're really good."

Sebastian couldn't help but laugh, and almost gag, at Sam's ramble. He pulled off of Sam's cock with a satisfying slurping sound and looked up at Sam with a smirk. "Thanks, you wanna have a try?"

Sam's stomach clenched in anxiety. "You mean suck your dick?"

"Well that or become a prostitute. Your call," Sebastian answered as he gave Sam a big grin and then spread out on his back across the bed.

_I can do this. I'm Trouty Mouth. I can handle this, _Sam chanted to himself as he hunched over Sebastian's waist on his hands and knees. Sam took a moment to rake his eyes over Sebastian's body. His tight abs, his toned chest and well-tanned body, the way the muscles of his arms flexed as he folded them behind his head. The bright red hickeys Sam had covered his throat with. As he took in the full erotic sight laid out before him on the bed, Sam realized that not only_ could _he do this, he _wanted _to do this.

Sam went down on Sebastian's cock the same way he had seen the other teen do on him...and promptly started gagging and choking on it. Sebastian's hands immediately went to the back of Sam's blond head. Ordinarily when he got blown Sebastian held the guy's head tightly in place and gave them little choice but to adjust. Inexplicably he found his fingers gently pulling Sam's head away instead.

"Not so much so fast. Just lick and suck the head at first then work your way down."

_Why the hell did I say that?! _

"Watch the fucking teeth!" Sebastian snapped a moment later, using the harshness to clear his head and slide into a more comfortable, familiar role.

Sam's eyes widened in surprise, but he dutifully took extra care to keep his teeth sheathed and away from Sebastian's sensitive organ. He knew he must have hurt Sebastian really bad to make him react like that, and he felt awful about it. Refocusing his attention he began gently playing with Sebastian's balls, remembering how good it had felt when Sebastian had done it to him. With his other hand he stroked the base of Sebastian's cock while he worked on getting more and more of it into his mouth.

Sebastian began grunting and arching his hips to get more of his dick into Sam's mouth. He was pleased with how quickly the blond was picking up the skill and was mildly impressed that he didn't complain or try to back off when Sebastian began feeding him more. He also noted that Sam had begun jerking himself off while he serviced Sebastian. Obviously the blond swimmer was enjoying himself.

Sam inhaled deeply as he almost succeeded in swallowing enough of Sebastian to make contact with his neatly trimmed bush. Sebastian's scent was very mild and almost undetectable, he had just finished having a shower after all, but what little odor there was Sam found surprisingly pleasant. It smelled like Sebastian in his most concentrated form, and Sam had already acknowledged that 'Essence of Sebastian' was a fragrance he had come to enjoy. There was even something kind of satisfying about the thick, pulsing weight in his mouth. All in all Sam decided that his first time experimenting with a guy was pretty fun. Then he quickly corrected himself. Sebastian wasn't an 'experiment;' he was someone Sam legitimately wanted to try dating.

"Stop," Sebastian instructed as he eased Sam's mouth off his dick and slid toward the edge of the bed, opening his bedside drawer.

Sam immediately spied the foil wrapped condoms and felt a wave of panic grip him. "Uh, I'm not ready for that."

Anger clenched Sebastian's stomach and his hand tightened around the knob of the open drawer. He turned around, intending to glare at Sam, but managed to school his emotions into a patient mask instead at the last minute.

"You can fuck me if you want. It won't be that different from fucking a girl," Sebastian offered, before smiling suggestively and continuing. "Just tighter and warmer. Trust me you'll like it."

Sebastian was versatile, and though he very much wanted to nail Sam he was more than willing to do things the other way. It wouldn't be the first time he had made such allowances for 'straight' guys.

"Thanks, I really do want to but-"

"Great!" Sebastian declared enthusiastically as he pulled out a condom and tossed it on the bed before reaching back in for the small bottle of lube which he also kept there.

"No, no wait," Sam insisted. "I want to, but I can't."

"Looks like you can," Sebastian commented, leering at Sam's throbbing cock.

"Well I _can._ It's just I'm not..." Sam trailed off, unsure of how to finish. _'I'm not that kind of boy.' _or _'I'm not easy.' _or _'I'm not a slut.' _None of those sounded like something one guy would say to another. Girls were the ones who always wanted to wait to have sex. Maybe in a relationship with two guys it made sense to just go ahead and do it right away. Sam didn't really know, but he did know that Sebastian's offer was practically driving him mad with horniness. "So it feels good, huh?"

"_So_ good, Sam," Sebastian answered as he laid back on the bed and spread his legs with his feet flat and his knees up, intentionally giving Sam a glimpse of his crack.

"And you really want to?" Sam affirmed.

"I _really_ want to," Sebastian assured him, as he stroked his cock and slid lower on the bed, fully exposing his hole.

"Okay," Sam agreed, nodding and staring wide-eyed at Sebastian's entrance. It looked so tight; he had no idea how he would be able to get his cock into it, but good god did he want to find out.

"Good. Here," Sebastian said passing Sam the condom and then opening the bottle of lube and coating two fingers. His experience seducing straight guys had taught him a couple of things when it came to bottoming for them. First, never expect them to do the work of getting you ready. Second, make the preparation fast before they second guess their decision. Sebastian rubbed his ring of muscle for just a few moments before promptly shoving both fingers in at once. He grimaced at the stinging pain, but didn't miss a beat as he continued quickly loosening himself up.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, concerned about the strained look on Sebastian's face.

"Fine, it just hurts at first. Don't worry about it," Sebastian answered as he briefly removed his fingers, added more lube and went back to work.

"I don't want to hurt you," Sam said, his brows furrowing with worry. It didn't help that he was getting more and more excited by the second, especially as he watched what Sebastian was doing, and knew what _he_ would soon be doing. Still, it wasn't something he wanted if it was going to be bad for Sebastian.

"Really it's fine. Better already," Sebastian assured him. "Come here."

Sebastian held his legs in the air and Sam scooted forward on the bed on his knees until the fronts of his thighs were pressed against the backs of Sebastian's. His cock was between Sebastian's legs, just a few inches higher in the air than Sebastian's own organ. It had to be one of the weirdest and least likely things Sam had ever expected to see, but he had to admit that looking down at Sebastian's hard body, _and_ his hard dick, he was nothing but turned on. Sam experimentally touched the base of Sebastian's erection with the tip of his and watched as they slid against each other, slick heads meeting and pressing together as Sam completed his thrust.

"Whoa, that felt nice," Sam remarked with excited eyes.

"Well you can jerk me off while you fuck me," Sebastian suggested, delighted by Sam's enthusiasm but wanting to refocus his attention.

"Deal!" Sam declared as he mentally replayed the image of Sebastian's fingers invading himself. He definitely wanted to launch an invasion of his own and the sooner he could send his tank in the better. Sam tore open the condom he was holding and quickly rolled it down his shaft. By the time he was finished Sebastian was reaching for his latex-covered member with a well-lubed hand and Sam found himself trembling at the pleasurable touch.

"Go ahead, just go slow at first," Sebastian instructed.

Sam reared back and carefully lined himself up with Sebastian's entrance, amazed at how erotic the sight was. He experimentally pressed the head of his cock against the tight ring of muscle, but Sebastian's body seemed to resist the intrusion.

"I don't see how I can put it in without hurting you," Sam said with worry and disappointment tinging his voice.

"You can't, but I'll deal. Then I'll really like it. It's worth it," Sebastian stated as he looked at up Sam. The blond's face, though tense with worry, was strikingly handsome. His light bangs carelessly swept to the side and unstyled after his shower, his bright green eyes intent with concern and obvious lust. Sebastian's eyes trailed downward over the firm planes of Sam's chest, his nipples semi-hard in arousal, his washboard stomach perfectly sculpted and deliciously offset by the muscular V that trailed downward to his cock. His cock which Sebastian could no longer see, but could feel pressed against him. "Fuck me now! You're so damn hot."

Sam slowly started applying more pressure to Sebastian's hole, but Sebastian decided not to allow slow to be an option. Consumed with lust he braced his feet against the bed and lurched down on Sam's cock as hard and fast as he could.

"Oh god, fuck! That fucking hurts!" Sebastian swore, gritting his teeth and waiting for the stabbing pain to pass.

I-I'm sorry," Sam rushed to apologize, feeling all the more guilty at how unbelievably good it had felt to him. Sebastian was right; it was a tight, warm heat, and only knowing how unpleasant it would be for Sebastian kept Sam from desperately probing back and forth in it.

"I did it, not you," Sebastian pointed out as he slowly released his death grip on the sheets. It was now starting to get to the point he could not only tolerate but sort of liked. The sharp sensitivity, the way he would feel every inch of movement Sam made. He wanted this. "Go ahead."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

Sebastian sighed in frustration and arched his own hips away from Sam's body, and then back down again - fast and strong to prove his point. It still hurt, but it hurt just right, maybe just a bit too sharp, but Sebastian knew that would shift to a growing pleasure very soon. "Fuck me," he ordered.

Sam couldn't argue with that, not when every fiber of his being told him to do precisely that, not when Sebastian's recent move had felt so good. Sam carefully slid most of the way out and gently plunged back in, not stopping until he was hilt deep again and then pressing a little harder for good measure.

"Aim upwards more. Like you're trying to hit the back of my cock," Sebastian requested.

Sam's face scrunched up in confusion, but he happily acquiesced. This time when he slid out, as he pushed back in he tried to visualize where the back of Sebastian's cock would be. It felt like a brainteaser and he was concentrating so hard that he was startled when Sebastian let out a small yelp.

"You okay?"

Sebastian grinned. "I'm _very_ okay. You have good aim, Sam. Keep doing that."

Sam grinned back, pleased that he was doing okay with his first anal experience. The bright smile on Sebastian's lightly freckled face was having the effect on Sam that he had come to expect over the last couple of weeks. Desire filled the singer and he was incredibly grateful to be able to thrust into Sebastian just then. He felt like he had been overreacting before, too concerned about having sex too soon. Thrusting into Sebastian actually felt like a really normal way to express his feelings, and judging by the way Sebastian's eyes rolled back as Sam hit his favorite spot again, Sebastian seemed to be pretty into it too.

Sebastian reached down and took his erection in his right hand, tucking his left arm behind his head and leisurely jerking off while Sam delivered gentle waves of goodness to his prostate. Watching Sam's hard body flex and contract as he moved was more than enough visual stimulation for Sebastian and he found himself eager to pick up the pace on his cock.

"Hand me the lube," Sebastian requested nodding in the direction of the bottle which had bounced its way down the bed and come to rest near Sam's ankle.

Sam paused his pelvic rhythm and took a breath as he reached for the bottle. He was kind of glad for the brief break; topping Sebastian was a decidedly intense experience and Sam knew that neither one of them was ready for it to be over just yet.

"I thought you said I could do it?" Sam said with a devilish smirk and nod at Sebastian's cock.

"Be my guest," Sebastian said as he pulled his hand away and folded it behind his head with the other.

Sam poured a generous portion into his palm and licked his lips as he looked at Sebastian again. God he was hot stretched out on the bed, dick hard, and body impaled on Sam's cock. Sam pushed in as far as he could and watched in delight as Sebastian's face showed visible reaction to the movement. Sam wasted no more time in gripping Sebastian's erection with his right hand and stroking it as he unleashed another series of slow thrusts on the dark-haired teen and continued to watch with rapt attention at his reactions.

Jerking Sebastian off at this angle felt oddly similar to the way he would have jerked himself off, and considering that Sam was continuing to push into the spot near the back base of Sebastian's dick, he had a silly mental image of their cocks together, forming one long, continuous pole.

"What?" Sebastian asked, only mildly breathy from the intensity of their activities. Sam had another one of his goofy grins and had audibly chortled.

"Nothing, just having fun is all," Sam answered, thrusting deeper into Sebastian as he leaned forward to connect their lips.

Sebastian's own lips quickly parted, eager for Sam's tongue to invade him the same way the rest of his body was. He moaned into Sam's mouth and repositioned his hands to wrap around each of Sam's hard biceps, pulling him closer and sucking hard on his tongue.

They made out for several minutes, Sam slowly thrusting in and out of his new lover the entire time, until finally he broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Sebastian's. "Can I do it harder?"

"I dunno, but I'm dying to find out," Sebastian answered with a cheeky grin.

Sam smirked and stilled his hips, bracing himself on Sebastian's chest as he returned to a kneeling position. Then he moved his hands to Sebastian's hips and plunged back in harder than he had up until now.

"Ohh!" Sebastian grunted as he closed his eyes.

"Too much?" Sam asked.

"God no, harder," Sebastian insisted reopening his eyes and giving Sam a firm look. He was ready.

Sam squeezed Sebastian's hips more tightly and plunged in again, even harder and faster this time. He watched as Sebastian's whole body seemed to tense up and then relax in response and he felt Sebastian's ring contract around his cock.

"Come on, Sam. Do it harder," Sebastian half-challenged, half-requested.

Sam set his face in determination and drilled in again, this time pulling Sebastian's hips back to meet his thrust.

"Yeah, like that, but faster," Sebastian ordered forcing himself to keep his hands away from his cock. He wanted to take it as long as Sam could give it – and then some.

Sam drilled in again and again, hard and fast, each time pulling Sebastian down to meet him. Eventually he realized that he was wrenching Sebastian's whole body back and forth.

"I'm being too rough," Sam stated, concerned but too frenzied to stop unless Sebastian agreed.

"Fuck no! You're not being rough enough," Sebastian snapped. "Now really give it to me good."

"You're so tight though," Sam said pounding into Sebastian again, still slightly worried he would tear something, but unbelievably appreciative of the way Sebastian's tight heat sheathed every inch of him.

"Then loosen me up," Sebastian taunted, watching Sam abs tighten deliciously each time he plowed in. He wanted more, much more.

Sam's eyes widened at the request. "Seriously? But I might hurt you."

"Then hurt me. Just fucking NAIL me," Sebastian answered, this time pleading and more out of breath than before.

Sam clenched Sebastian's hips and slammed into him as hard as he could, bouncing the slender guy around the bed like he weighed nothing.

"Th-that's it. Like that," Sebastian panted, finally moving his hand into place and giving his long-neglected cock the attention it was demanding.

"I wanna cum so bad," Sam whined, his fingernails digging into Sebastian's skin as he kept up what felt like a savage assault, but was obviously what Sebastian wanted.

"Tough! Me first. A good top gets his bottom off first," Sebastian said between strained breaths as his hand became a blur on his dick. "And you're not fucking me hard enough to make me cum."

"I'm trying," Sam snapped back, somewhat offended, though he suspected it was mostly just the dirty talk rather than a real complaint about his skill. He drilled in again, spurred on slightly by his frustration.

"Getting mad?" Sebastian asked between clenched teeth, unsure of how much more he could take.

"No," Sam said right away, slowing down slightly.

"Then fucking get mad!" Sebastian barked. "Tear my ass up. I wanna feel this for days."

Sam unleashed another round of hard thrusts into Sebastian's body. Fucking him again and again as hard as he could, feeling like his own orgasm was almost in reach, and fighting it off; he desperately wanted to get Sebastian off first. To prove he was a 'good top' as Sebastian had put it and to make him feel as good as he could.

"Close...So close," Sebastian panted, seeing spots and lost in a swirl of intense pleasure as well as a good bit of pain. "Don't stop!"

Sam bucked harder and faster than he would have believed that he could, each thrust bringing him to the edge of his precipice, but not quite taking him over the other side. He bounced Sebastian all around on the bed, heard the slap of their bodies colliding as he slammed into him with every bit of power he could muster.

"More! Damnit MORE! Split me open with your cock," Sebastian yelled, tears forming in his eyes but meaning every word of his demand.

Sam couldn't believe how rough Sebastian wanted it, but he was also completely into it by this point himself. He dug his nails into Sebastian's hips until they'd broken the skin and he knew it would leave bruises, but he fucked him. Sweat pour down Sam's body and every muscle he had burned from the exertion, but he fucked him. He fucked the pleading guy jackhammer style like his life depended on it. Like nothing mattered but pounding Sebastian's hole harder and faster.

Just when Sam was sure he couldn't go on he heard Sebastian practically scream out his release and watched as a thick rope of cum shot out of his cock and landed on his nose and lips, followed in quick succession by another rope that didn't quite reach the bottom of his throat, and then a steady stream that coated his abs before finally dribbling down his cock and pooling in the thatch of his dark pubic hair. Sam couldn't believe how much cum there was.

"Now unload, Sam," Sebastian ordered, licking the semen from around his lips.

That demand was quite unnecessary by this point since Sam had started feeling the spasms of his own blinding pleasure as soon as Sebastian's second shot had hit his chest. He gasped and clung harder to Sebastian's thighs as another strong wave crashed over him. Then another. When it was over a strong glow of contentment and utter exhaustion consumed him and had him finally collapsing on the bed next to Sebastian, barely noticing that his cock came out of Sebastian in the process, and that the cum-filled condom poured most of its creamy contents onto his own pubic bush.

Sebastian struggled to catch his breath and to still his racing heart. He was amazed at what had just happened to him, amazed at how wrong he had been about Sam. Finally after several minutes when he was sure Sam had regained control of himself, and when he was similarly certain that his own emotions wouldn't betray him he calmly rolled over to face the blond. "Did you like that?"

"Fuck yeah," Sam panted. His mind had practically been blown at how intense his release had been.

"Good," Sebastian answered. "Now get the fuck out of my house you brutal son-of-a-bitch."

"What?!" Sam gaped at Sebastian, searching his face for any sign of a joke, or any indication that he was still 'in character' from their dirty talk; he found none.

"You heard me," Sebastian said harshly as he rolled his sweat-covered body off the bed. As soon as he made contact with the floor and stood up he winced and crashed back down to the bed. However, before Sam could touch him he manged to stand again and this time stumbled into the bathroom.

"Don't fucking be here when I get out, asshole," Sebastian snapped as he slammed and locked the door.

**-000-**

**End Note: I know, evil way to end it, but if they got together now and lived happily ever after the story would have to end, and unfortunately Seb just has way too many issues to work through for that to happen yet.**

**I am sorry if the ending, and the levels it reached, disturbed some readers. Sebastian is not a healthy, normal boy, and Sam is finally going to realize that. There's much more to come and feedback is always greatly and eagerly appreciated. In fact it was the reviews and PMs that you guys sent that inspired me and spurred me on to get this chapter out. Thanks very much!**


	7. Chapter 7: Torn

**What I Want**

**A/N: This is actually a pretty important chapter...yet unfortunately I'm still not completely satisfied with it. Still no point in putting off posting it any longer. Hope you guys like it.**

**Chapter 7 – Torn**

"_Find someone else. Find five someone elses. Hell find ten. You'll see that this guy isn't unique or special at all. He's just a douchebag."_

Michael words rang in Sebastian's ears as he walked into the Wired Bean, a trendy wi-fi enabled coffeehouse that he knew was a popular haunt for teens his age who were outside of the mainstream. It seemed like a good place to find another gay guy and indeed as soon as he entered he quickly spied a likely candidate. The boy was about his age, perhaps a year or so younger with medium length dark hair that he kept longer in the front. Currently his bangs were partially obscuring his eyes and face.

Sebastian stole a few more glances at the boy as he walked past on his way to the counter to order his beverage. His hairstyle made it difficult for Sebastian to see if he truly was cute or not, but he was wearing a snug black t-shirt that clung nicely across his shoulders and narrow waist. He was also speaking in quiet, but animated tones with a gal pal at the same table, and based on their body language and gestures Sebastian's gaydar told him with reasonable certainty that he was witnessing a conversation between a fag and his hag rather than between a straight guy and his girlfriend.

After picking up his drink Sebastian made it a point to walk right by their table and pause briefly, seemingly to look at his cell phone. From the corner of his eye he was pretty sure he saw the dark-haired boy check him out. He casually sat down at a nearby table and continued 'checking his phone,' this time using the action as an ruse to affect a wide smile and soft laugh. Sure enough the teen looked in his direction and fidgeted nervously. Sebastian raised his eyes, smile still in place, and glanced right at the boy, finally getting a proper look at his face. He found that he was neither disappointed nor impressed by the guy's features. All in all they were fairly average, but Sebastian did think it was rather cute how a blush rushed to the boy's face and he quickly looked away, returning his attention to the girl at his table. A moment later Sebastian looked up from his phone again and once more caught the stranger staring at him. This time Sebastian made full eye contact and grinned.

Sebastian suppressed an amused chuckle at the panic-stricken expression that formed on the boy's face in response to being caught looking. He nervously raised his beverage to his lips and gulped down a few swallows, seeming to burn his mouth in the process, but obviously struggling to hide that fact as Sebastian looked on. It really was quite adorable and Sebastian started to feel guilty about his intentions. Then he once again remembered his brother's words.

"_If you want to get over him then go get under someone else."_

Sebastian sighed. He still didn't know if this would help but he was desperate to try anything to be free of Sean. On a rational level he knew that it was ridiculous to be so hung up on this guy. After all beyond being superficially attractive and popular what did Sean really have going for him that should make Sebastian feel so obsessed? Sure he had taken Sebastian's virginity, but that shouldn't matter. Sebastian couldn't accept the fact that he was the kind of person who would get so hung up on something like that. Intellectually he knew that there was no reason whatsoever for him to feel such a bond with Sean...So why did it still hurt so much when he thought about the attractive blond? It was actually quite pathetic; Sebastian hated Sean – and hated himself even more – because pathetic or not he still wasn't able to forget about the guy and move on.

Despite what his brother had said about learning to turn off his feelings, Sebastian hadn't actually had any success with doing so. Oh it was true that the initial pain he had felt, the throbbing hurt that had rattled around in his stomach in the days and weeks right after his encounter with Sean was mostly gone now; however, in its place was a sort of dull ache which seemed to throb over a backdrop of cold emptiness. This feeling was just as bad, perhaps even worse, than that first, stabbing pain had been. The stabbing pain had merely told Sebastian that he was hurt. This dull, aching emptiness, however, told him that he was beyond hurt; he was broken.

Sebastian laughed again, this time quite sincerely, but also quite sardonically. He felt like an over-dramatic cliché. These types of feelings weren't okay. Certainly not in response to a cruel, self-involved prick who didn't give a damn about him and hadn't even cared enough to go slow for Sebastian's first time. He knew he had to find a way to fill that cold emptiness; he had to find a way to be free of Sean completely. Sebastian found himself once again looking up at the awkward gay teen at the next table.

"He totally just checked you out, Matt!" Sebastian overheard the boy's gal pal sequel in delight.

_Sex. _Sex had caused Sebastian's problems in the first place, but he'd be damned if he would let it ruin his life completely. Michael was right; if Sean didn't want him then someone else would. Someone hotter, or better, or just nicer. Nicer like this boy, whose name was apparently Matt. Of course Sebastian hadn't actually met Matt, but it was a reasonable bet that he was nicer than Sean.

Matt's pale skin flushed red at his friend's assertion. He lowered his head, dark hair falling further across his face. "He probably just thought I looked familiar or something."

Sebastian felt another twinge of guilt as he continued openly studying the boy. _Nicer_. This shy stranger did seem nicer, much nicer, vulnerable even. Sebastian hated the thought of making Matt feel the way that Sean had made him feel. No way could he justify his plan because he knew it would only work if Matt got hurt, if Sebastian took what he wanted and then walked away. If he stayed afterward, if he was nice to Matt, if he _dated _him even, then there was no point. Sebastian would still be just as weak and exposed as ever and he didn't see how those feelings could possibly help him forget the pain Sean had caused him. If anything it would just allow Matt to cause him pain in the long run too.

"No way! He totally wants you," the girl insisted jubilantly.

"He does not!" Matt whispered back more loudly than he intended.

_Want._ Sebastian pondered that feeling. Did he _want _Matt? Of course he had no feelings for him at all other than mild lust and general curiosity; he hadn't even spoken to him yet. But as he considered the lines of chest, the angle of his shoulders, and the gentle quality of his face, Sebastian had to admit he most definitely did feel that sense of lust. He did _want_ Matt, at least as an object, and really that was kind of the point of Michael's advice.

Sebastian still couldn't justify his plan, not at all; it was awful and he knew it. Yet he couldn't abandon it either. It just hurt too much thinking about Sean. He had to do something to make Sean seem less special, less significant. This boy would just have to be collateral damage. If it came down to Sebastian's survival and recovery or someone else's he had no choice but to choose his own. Besides Sebastian didn't have anyone he could count on for support except perhaps for his asshole brother. Matt on the other hand looked like the kind of person who did have people he could count on for comfort, this girl for instance. He would be okay.

Sebastian cleared his throat and rose from the seat at his table. When both pairs of eyes snapped up to look at him he gave them his most disarming smile. "Perhaps I can help clear this up?"

The girl gasped in surprise as she realized that they had been overheard, but her smile quickly widened as she became eager to hear what the attractive guy they had been speculating about had to say. For his part however, Matt's blush only deepened and he found himself silently praying that the floor would just open up and swallow him whole, chair and all.

"Your friend is right; I _was_ checking you out," Sebastian confirmed speaking directly to Matt and crossing the small distance to their table, casually taking a seat. Sebastian knew that there was no point in trying to do this at all if he wasn't going to do it right. "I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable. You're just really cute. It was hard to look away, but I didn't mean to stare."

Matt lowered his face even further, doing his best to conceal himself completely. "Thanks," he mumbled.

"Matt's a little shy sometimes," the girl explained to Sebastian.

"Really? I'd never have guessed!" Sebastian answered playfully. "I'm Sebastian by the way."

"I'm Kara, and may I say, it's a pleasure to meet you, Sebastian," the girl responded extending her hand in an exaggeratedly formal gesture.

"The pleasure is all mine, Kara," Sebastian said charmingly as he upped the ante by taking her hand and kissing rather than shaking it. He reasoned that it couldn't hurt to win the guy's friend over after all, and judging by the way she giggled in delight at the unexpected antic Sebastian knew that he was well on his way. "Matt?" Sebastian continued as he shifted his attention back to the dark-haired boy.

Matt looked up slowly at Sebastian, his eyes still partially hidden by his bangs.

"May I have the pleasure?" Sebastian inquired with a cheeky grin as he offered the teen his hand to shake.

"Uh, good to meet you," Matt said softly as he shook Sebastian's hand, still too shy to make eye contact with his handsome new acquaintance.

"You have great hair, Matt," Sebastian complimented. "But if you'll forgive the forwardness I want to check something."

Not waiting for a response Sebastian leaned across the table and gently put his fingers in Matt's soft bangs, sweeping them to the side. Matt's eyes widened in shock and anxiety.

"Yep, I was right," Sebastian said giving Matt the full impact of his broadest smile while he still had the boy's attention. "Your eyes are absolutely beautiful. I knew they would be."

"They're just brown," Matt said dismissively with a shrug as he leaned out of Sebastian's reach and wasted no time in shaking his hair back into place, eager for the feeling of coverage that it provided.

"Just brown?!" Sebastian exclaimed in disbelief before pausing and taking a closer look at the t-shirt Matt was wearing. A tactic formed in his head and he quickly continued. "And I guess My Chemical Romance is just a band."

"You like My Chemical Romance!" Matt blurted out with more excitement and enthusiasm than Sebastian had seen him exhibit.

"Of course!" Sebastian answered. _I think I've heard one or two of their songs on the radio before._

"What's your favorite song?" Matt asked eagerly as he rethought his earlier perception of Sebastian as something other than hot but preppy. Maybe they really would have something in common.

"Oh man, I just love them all. I honestly don't think I could even pick a favorite if I had to. What about you?"

"Helena, The Sharpest Lives, Teenagers, To the End, and Cancer," Matt recited animatedly. "But you're right, they're just all really good."

"Well if you guys are gonna talk music I'm out of here," Kara said with a smile as she stood, wanting to give the boys some one-on-one time and deciding that Sebastian had a knack for drawing Matt out and wouldn't need her help.

"Kara wait!" Matt objected feeling terrified at the thought of being alone with Sebastian.

Ignoring Matt's objection Sebastian stood and bowed formally to Kara. "M'lady, until we meet again," he said grandly as he once again took her hand and kissed it, earning himself another delighted squeal from the girl before she walked off, content that her friend was in good hands.

"We don't have to talk about music, Matt," Sebastian said coyly as he sat back down and then proceeded to brush his foot against Matt's under the table.

"What uh...what did you wanna talk about?" Matt asked awkwardly.

"Anything you want. I know a cool 'getting to know you' kind of game. It's called Favorites. We basically just take turns asking each other what our favorites are of random things. Up for it?"

"Uh yeah, sure," Matt answered, trying to remind himself to just relax and breathe. This shouldn't be hard; all he would have to do is just answer simple questions and let Sebastian do the rest of the talking.

And so it went that somewhere after determining that Matt's favorite Beatle was John Lennon and his favorite taste was salty, Sebastian had slid into the chair directly next to Matt. By the time he learned that Matt's favorite animal was a dolphin – and then preceded to get into a debate with him about whether or not a dolphin was really an animal – they had decided to leave the coffee house and go for a walk. When Sebastian announced that belts were his favorite type of clothing accessory he had slid his hand into Matt's. After Sebastian revealed that kissing was his favorite date activity Matt admitted that he had never been kissed.

"Hmm?" Sebastian murmured as he looked up at the night sky clearly pondering something.

"What is it?" Matt asked, looking up too, but completely at a loss for why.

"I just wanted to make sure the moon and at least some stars were visible," Sebastian answered as he rejoined their hands.

"Why?" Matt asked, merely because it seemed like the right response. He was too distracted by the feeling of Sebastian's fingers on his skin to really even care.

"Because everyone should have their first kiss under the moonlight," Sebastian answered as he abruptly pulled Matt against his body. Rather than go in for the kiss right away he moved his face close to Matt's and gave him a gentle look and a soft smile.

Sebastian knew that he was doing everything right. That this was just the way romance was supposed to work. For a brief moment he let himself get caught up in the idea. Maybe he could just let himself get swept up in the moment and fall in love naturally. He took a few seconds to examine Matt's face again, frantically searching it in the hopes that it would elicit a feeling of connection in him, that he wouldn't have to go through with his original plan. Nothing. All he felt was an ache in his chest as he thought about the fact that he and Sean had never had a night like tonight.

While Sebastian studied him the trembling boy realized what must have been coming and closed his eyes. It seemed to be taking forever for Sebastian to finally close the small distance between them and all he could think was how much he hoped his chest wouldn't explode before he finally got his first kiss.

And then it happened. Matt felt Sebastian's lips on his and then strong arms were wrapping around his waist. Matt sighed into the kiss and was ecstatic when he felt Sebastian's tongue lightly fluttering against his mouth, tentatively requesting access, access which Matt wasted no time in granting. He couldn't believe how lucky he was, how amazing this night was going. It was all so perfect. Against what Matt considered to be all odds, this hot, witty, charming guy was actually interested in him. Sebastian actually wanted _him, _and he couldn't get over how good it felt. Matt just knew that this was going to be the beginning of something wonderful, the start of what would be a strong bond.

Matt sighed again, lost in his thoughts and emotions, lost in a blissful fantasy of imagining what could be. Then the next thing Matt knew Sebastian had dialed up the intensity even higher and suddenly he was so overwhelmed that he was finding it difficult to breath. Thoughts of romance and dating were quickly pushed aside as his hormones reminded him that he was a fifteen-year-old boy kissing the guy of his dreams. The fairytale could wait; there was a hot guy to make out with.

Sebastian took the opportunity to guide the breathless boy backward until he was pressed against the side of a nearby building which they had been passing when their impromptu kissing began. He slid his hands down from around Matt's waist until they were cupping his ass, purposely shifting the tone from romantic to physical. Sebastian squeezed their bodies together even more tightly, making sure their fronts were flush with each other, and kissing Matt ever harder.

Sebastian briefly considered his feelings again while he let his body do what came naturally. He was dismayed to find that he still felt nothing but lust for Matt. No romance, no close connection, just lust...but lust would just have to do. Besides lust was something Sebastian knew how to handle. It was familiar, safe. If only the extent of Sebastian's feelings for Sean had stopped at lust he probably wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place.

Sebastian slid his hand up the front of Matt's t-shirt, fingers pressing against taut flesh. Matt's stomach wasn't muscular and rippled like Sean's had been; it was merely flat and tight. However, muscles or not the sensation of hot, firm flesh was getting Sebastian thoroughly worked up. _Lust._ Lust had never betrayed Sebastian. It was those other feelings that had gotten him into trouble. Perhaps if he just listened to lust, and only his lust, he could finally break free.

"We can't do this here," Matt whispered in protest as he finally broke the lip-lock, still reeling from the intensity of his first kiss and trying to get a handle on the amazing new situation he found himself in.

"We can go back to my house," Sebastian suggested, fully recommitting himself to his strategy of seducing Matt in the hopes of getting over Sean. It still didn't entirely make sense in his head, but the way he looked at it if he had sex with Matt that would make Sean no more special than Matt. Thus if he could walk away from Matt, he could walk away from Sean.

Matt faltered for a few moments, at a loss for what to say. He suddenly felt uncomfortable with how quickly they were moving. Sebastian was the first person he had ever even kissed. The logical side of his brain was telling him that a first kiss probably shouldn't immediately lead to a first...whatever they were about to do. Yet, he wanted Sebastian; he wanted him very much. Sebastian was one of the most attractive guys he had ever seen, and certainly the first boy to pay attention to him the way that he was doing. Maybe it made Matt easy, or slutty, or whatever it was people liked to say about those who put out right away, but Matt just wanted to feel desired, wanted to hang on to the special feeling that Sebastian was giving him.

"Mine's probably closer," Matt answered tentatively after a little while. "We're only about three blocks away."

"Yours it is then," Sebastian responded with a broad smile before gently pushing Matt backward against the wall again and launching another assault on his mouth. The last thing he wanted was for Matt's hormones to cool down. Sebastian knew that the brunet was intensely shy. Right now his timidity was being tempered by lust, but if his passion simmered, Sebastian suspected his anxiety would boil. Better to keep him going, and judging by the needy way the boy returned the kiss, and the shameless way he was writhing against Sebastian's body it was obvious that Sebastian had succeeded in making sure sex was the only thing on Matt's mind.

"We...we gotta go," Matt gasped out a couple of minutes later.

"Lead the way," Sebastian answered, pleased with how calm his voice sounded. This was starting to get easier than he had expected. Certainly he wanted Matt; he wanted to fuck him. He was every bit as turned on as Matt seemed to be, but now that he thought about it, he didn't actually care much what happened with Matt. He was pretty sure he had him right where he wanted him, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if it didn't work out. He could just go home, jerk off, and try his luck again the next day. That knowledge gave Sebastian a powerful feeling he had never felt before. He had control. Matt didn't matter; Sebastian would get off either way, and eventually he would fuck someone else. No, Matt didn't matter, and soon Sean wouldn't matter either.

"My parents might be home," Matt said nervously as they walked up the driveway to his house.

"Then we'll go to your room," Sebastian answered calmly as his fingers slid into Matt's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Okay," Matt agreed softly before unlocking the front door. Matt realized that somewhere along the line his fairytale night had turned quite a bit more rated R, but he was too worked up to care. As he entered his home he was relieved to discover that his parents were no where in sight. Not wanting to linger he held a finger to his lips to urge Sebastian to remain silent and then quickly lead him through the modest house and to his room.

"I don't think they heard us," Matt whispered as he shut and locked his bedroom door. He barely got the words out before Sebastian was pulling him in for another frenzied kiss.

After making out and messing around for several minutes Sebastian rolled off the bed and pulled something out of his now-discarded pants.

"W-what's that?" Matt asked with wide eyes as he took in the sight of the foil wrapped packet. He already knew of course, but he was surprised to see it suddenly introduced into their activities.

"A condom," Sebastian answered with a smirk.

"You were carrying one?" Matt asked, finding it odd and struggling to suppress the anxiety it caused him.

"Yep, always be prepared. It's the motto of Boy Scouts and sex fiends alike," Sebastian quipped, trying to lighten the mood. When he saw the concerned, hesitant look still lingering on Matt's face he felt his guilt return in full force, and decided that this might be a good excuse to just abandon his plan. Maybe he didn't have to go all the way with Matt to get over Sean. Maybe just messing around would be enough. He didn't want to actually hurt Matt if he could help it.

"We don't have to if you're not ready," Sebastian said quietly, meaning it. He even silently hoped that Matt _would _back out. Sebastian had mostly committed himself to trying this new plan, but it didn't have to be with Matt. It didn't have to with such a nice, shy, obviously sensitive person. There was always the next guy after all. He could let Matt go.

Matt felt torn over what to do. Part of him felt like he should ask to wait, to see how things went with Sebastian first, but another very urgent part of him wanted nothing more than to just go for it. Besides if he waited what if Sebastian lost interest? Matt couldn't imagine finding a guy as good as Sebastian again. He glanced up at Sebastian again, embarrassed but openly studying him, _all_ of him. That pretty much settled it. Sebastian was just so gorgeous and he'd been completely great all night. Matt couldn't imagine anyone more perfect to take his virginity. There was just one nagging fear.

"No, I-I do want to. I just...well we're together now right? Like as a couple?"

Sebastian's stomach dropped. He didn't know what to say. Was he supposed to just lie to Matt? About _this_ that was obviously the deciding factor. Was he supposed to just say whatever Matt needed to hear so he could fuck him? He knew that's what Sean would have done. _Sean fucking Meunier._ He hated the bastard. But hate or not, he felt his stomach - and his cock - twitch as he thought about him. He had to make it stop. He couldn't feel like this any longer. He couldn't waste another day hung up on that stupid asshole.

"_If you want to get over him then go get under someone else. It's easy..."_ he heard Michael say.

His brother had been very sure that this was the answer, and for once Sebastian was reasonably certain that Michael wasn't just screwing with him, that he really did want to help. Sean would lie about this. Michael would probably want him to as well...

"Yeah. We're together now," Sebastian heard himself saying stiffly.

"Okay," Matt said quietly, too embarrassed to look at Sebastian, but realizing that he had made his decision. "Uh...how do you want to-"

"I wanna top," Sebastian answered right away. It's what Sean had done after all.

A few minutes later Sebastian found himself lined up and ready to go. He examined his feelings one final time, searched for any connection he might feel with Matt - still nothing. He searched to see if it still hurt as bad when he thought about Sean - it did.

"_Trust me, you won't feel anything for him anymore,"_ Michael whispered.

"I'm sorry, Matt," Sebastian said softly as he simultaneously gripped the boy's hips and pushed forward, penetrating someone for the first time.

**-000-**

"You heard me," Sebastian said harshly as he rolled his sweat-covered off the bed. As soon as he made contact with the floor and stood up he winced and crashed back down to the bed. However, before Sam could touch him he stumbled into the bathroom.

"Don't fucking be here when I get out, asshole," Sebastian snapped as he slammed and locked the door.

Shock and anguish crashed over Sam. His head was reeling from the sudden turn of events, desperate to make sense out of what had just happened. Only moments ago everything had been right and he'd been completely at peace. His body had felt utterly relaxed, perfectly exhausted after his strenuous love-making. His mind had been calm and content too, comfortable in his actions and in the experience. He had fought his feelings for Sebastian long enough; he had fought his desire for long enough. Then he had given up. He had surrendered to the way Sebastian made him feel, surrendered to his urges. It had felt right and wonderful, and Sam had been relaxed and happy.

But now he was tense, running, racing to keep up. He physically ran to the bathroom door to check on Sebastian while he mentally ran through everything in his head. What had gone wrong? Where had he messed up? What had he missed?

"Sebastian! Sebastian what happened? What did I do? Are you okay?" Sam pounded the flat of his hand against the bathroom door, frantic for an answer. He didn't think he could go another moment without knowing what had happened to abruptly end his short-lived bliss.

"_Now get the fuck out of my house you brutal son-of-a-bitch." _Sebastian's words rang in Sam's ears.

Brutal. Sebastian had called him brutal. Shame washed over Sam as he replayed the last few minutes of their encounter in his head. Had he been rough? _Yes of course...well actually no_, Sam reconsidered a split second later. He hadn't been rough; he had been _brutal_ just like Sebastian had said. He had completely gotten out of control and gone way too far. He felt sick from the realization and the abrupt clarity it brought.

"Oh my god, Seb! I'm so sorry I hurt you!" Sam shouted through the door. "I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry."

Sam leaned against the door in frustration. As he did so he noticed the condom still clinging to his partially deflated penis. He sighed in frustration and pulled it off by the base, intending to throw it away but instead gasping in horror a moment later. The condom was tinged red.

Sam felt his blood run cold as he numbly walked back to the bed, petrified of what he would find, but unable to resist checking. Sure enough in addition to the copious amounts of what were undoubtedly sweat and semen staining the bedsheets there were also definite traces of an angry red. Sam blinked rapidly and his stomach rolled over, threatening to spill its contents.

"Sebastian," Sam said haltingly as he returned to the door. "I think you might be hurt."

**-000-**

"Don't fucking be here when I get out, asshole," Sebastian snapped as he slammed and locked the door. However as soon as he was safely ensconced in the room he felt his resolve crumble and he promptly slid down onto the bathroom floor, gasping for breath as he tried to regain his composure.

_I hate him. I hate him. He's an stupid asshole,_ Sebastian chanted to himself as he squeezed his eyes shut and thought about everything he didn't like about Sam. What the blond had done to his ass was a good start.

Everything hurt. He felt like his entire body had been stretched beyond its limits and then torn open. He knew that as soon as the sharper burn faded from the muscles of his arms, legs, and stomach it would be replaced with an uncomfortable stiffness. That he could have dealt with, but what really hurt was his ass. He felt like his insides were in danger of falling out through his angry, throbbing opening.

True enough, he had enjoyed himself in the moment. It had still hurt, but he'd been high on endorphins and the general rush of the experience itself, but now that he'd cum, now that it was all over, his body was rapidly becoming aware of just how much it had gone through and Sebastian found himself feeling sick, dizzy, and lightheaded.

It was worth it to be done with Sam though. He'd had to get the attractive athlete out of his system once and for all, and a quadruple serving of what the blond had to offer should just about do it. Plus the pain, and the anger he now felt toward him made it much easier to strengthen his resolve. He'd been wrong about Sam. He wasn't some special, magical exception to the general shitty quality of the human race. He was just another dumb jock who thought with his dick. Just another victory for Sebastian to claim...and sometimes winning hurt.

On the periphery of his awareness Sebastian realized that Sam was yelling something at him through the door, but he couldn't focus enough on it to actually discern the words. Sam. Sam fucking Evans. He hated Sam. He hated the way Sam had used him, hurt him, pushed the limits further than he had any right to. Who the hell did he think he was anyway? He was just another goddamn son-of-a-bitch and Sebastian couldn't believe he had briefly felt anything other than contempt and hostility for the guy.

"Oh my god, Seb! I'm so sorry I hurt you!" He heard Sam shout through the door as his mind finally made an effort to discern the words. "I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry."

_Yeah that's about right. You're apologizing now, but it didn't stop you from taking what you wanted, just like every other prick._

Sebastian's thoughts started to betray him, started to remind him that he had been the one to urge Sam on. He willed himself to stop thinking along those lines; that wouldn't do at all. This was Sam's fault; Sam had hurt him. He hated Sam. He was done with Sam. He'd never even have to see him again once the idiot finally got the hell out like he'd been told.

Sebastian groaned and pulled himself to his feet, deciding that it was time to actually start cleaning himself up. Besides, at least the pain he felt at having to gingerly walk across the room and sit down in the tub helped remind him of just what a prick the stupid, blond singer really was. His head hit the back of the tub with a loud thwack, but it didn't matter; what was one more sore body part?

It hurt too much to stretch forward and turn on the water and actually fill the tub, so Sebastian took another few moments to think. He had never been on the receiving end of sex this rough before. The only experience that came anywhere close was his first time with Sean. Suddenly images of the younger, more distantly removed, attractive blond flashed across Sebastian's brain. Sean fucking Meunier.

Sex with Sean had hurt a lot at first too, but then it had transitioned to something intense and mostly pleasurable. Sex with Sam had been more or less the opposite. It had been gentle at first and completely pleasurable at first, but then it had transitioned to something intense and mostly painful by the end...and Sebastian knew that it had been exactly what he had wanted, what he had needed from Sam. It was the only way to make sure he would never want to be with Sam again. Besides, Sebastian reasoned, it had been a test of sorts. He had to see if Sam really would hurt him the same way that Sean had hurt him...and Sam definitely had - and then some. That made it okay to hate Sam, to want nothing more to do with him. After all if Sam hurt him this much he was better off without him. Just like he had ultimately been better off without Sean.

Blond. Well-built. Charming. Sam and Sean had a lot in common. Except of course that Sam was evil and manipulative...or was that Sean? Yeah, it was Sean...but Sam too of course. Even Sean hadn't hurt him this much.

Sebastian let his head fall back against the cool porcelain of the tub again as more mental images flood over him. Sean bending him over his father's desk. Sam bouncing him across the bed. Sean's hands clawing at his shoulders. Sam's fingers digging into his hips. Harder. Faster. Harder. Faster. Begging. Sebastian was begging. Begging Sean to slow down. Begging Sam not to. It was a blur. Harder and harder.

Sebastian gasped and coughed, forcing the horrible images out of his head. He felt cold and detached now. He still hurt, but he was starting to feel a pleasant numb sensation - inside and out. It shouldn't be so bad now. He was over the worst of the pain; he didn't mind the numb. Numb was something Sebastian knew how to handle. It was familiar, safe.

"I think you're bleeding." Sebastian heard the voice again, but it barely registered. It seemed as cold and detached as Sebastian felt. Only as it finally penetrated his mental fog Sebastian realized that it didn't sound entirely cold after all; it sounded panicked. What did it want? _Bleeding. _Right Sebastian was bleeding.

He numbly reached a hand between his legs and felt around his throbbing hole. Sticky, wet – yep, the voice was right; he was bleeding. It didn't seem too bad though. He probably just had a few minor tears from over-doing it. It was nothing to panic over, not the way the voice was doing.

"I'm fine!" Sebastian shouted in an icy tone. "Just go away."

**-000-**

Sam didn't know what to do. He was worried that Sebastian might be seriously hurt, but he had to admit that Sebastian did _sound_ okay. He sounded cold and hostile, but also definitely firm and strong, not at all hurt or scared. Sam felt ashamed of his actions and confused by Sebastian's sudden mood changed and unwillingness to talk about it. However, as much as he wanted to try to work things out he felt like he had no choice but to leave. If he stayed he would be _forcing_ himself on Sebastian, and the last thing Sam wanted to do was _force_ himself on Sebastian again. He already felt like he could never forgive himself for getting so out of control.

Sam's heart was still racing as he looked around for his things. His keys were on the nightstand near Sebastian's bed where he'd set them down when he first walked in; however, his wallet and phone were still in his jeans, which along with the rest of his clothes were in a pile on the floor of Sebastian's bathroom.

"Sebastian," Sam called tentatively through the door. "I'm gonna go ahead and go then, if you're sure you don't want me to stay...but uh, my clothes are in there.

"I don't care. Just get out!" Sebastian growled as he threw something against the door.

Sam's stomach tightened in anguish and he decided to just put back on the pajamas he'd borrowed from Sebastian and leave. He could get his stuff back later...or not at all. He probably didn't deserve to get his things back anyway given the way he had fucked everything up.

Sam quickly redressed, grabbed his keys, and left Sebastian's room as fast as he could. On his way out he closed the door hard enough that he knew Sebastian could hear it. If Sebastian was really too upset to see him he didn't want to effectively be holding him prisoner in the bathroom. At least this way he would know that Sam was gone and that it was safe to go out.

_Safe._ Sam sighed. He couldn't believe Sebastian didn't feel _safe_ around him. Obviously things had gotten way out of hand, and part of Sam knew that Sebastian had been urging him on, but the rest of Sam was convinced that he should have known better. That he should have been more gentle with Sebastian. He couldn't believe that he had actually done the one thing he had never, ever wanted to do to Sebastian: he had hurt him, just like the bully in the mall, just like the countless others Sam didn't know about, but suspected were a part of Sebastian's past. Sam frowned and tried to keep his emotions under control as he opened the Smythes' front door and quickly exited, pulling it shut behind him.

**-000-**

Sebastian winced again as he finally leaned forward and started the water, already regretting his decision to throw the body wash at the door. That was Sam's fault too. If he'd just left like he was supposed to Sebastian wouldn't have to drag his aching body out of the tub in a few minutes to retrieve the bottle. It would just have to wait until he'd soaked in the warm water for a little while though.

Just as he felt his muscles starting to relax, he heard his bedroom door slam shut and he knew that Sam was finally gone. He was free of him at last. Sam had been such a ridiculous distraction for the past few weeks. Seducing Sam had probably been more trouble than it was worth, but at least Sebastian had won. It was all over now and he never had to see him again. Sebastian felt a frown forming on his face.

_I can't believe he just up and left like that. What an asshole!_

**-000-**

**End Note: Sorry for the break in format as far as the parallelism goes. The two sections of the story themselves should obviously correspond in theme, but I couldn't effectively stick with the structure unfortunately. Anyway, the chapter itself is sort of a transition both in Seb's back story and the main narrative, so I guess now is as good a time as any to shift into something a bit different. I didn't like how expositional this chapter ended up, but I wanted to focus primarily on Seb, Sam, and Matt's feelings for this one. On the bright side, the next chapter should have quite a bit more dialogue, and lots more characters involved. **

**Anyway, please let me know what you thought of this chapter if you get a chance. **


	8. Chapter 8: Family

**A/N: Wow! I Can't believe it's been close to a month since my last update. The reason I'm so surprised is that believe it or not I've been more or less working regularly on this chapter since I posted the last one. Ordinarily it should have taken like a week to do given how clearly I had everything outlined in my head, but unfortunately this is my busiest time of year at work and I've been pretty swamped. On top of that – and much more fortunately – two of my best friends got (gay) married last weekend and my boyfriend and I were groomsmen, so there's been a ton of exciting wedding stuff going on too. **

**So actually, I only covered about half the stuff I intended to in this chapter, but I decided to post it now because 1) it had reached a fairly typical length for my chapters, 2) it was at a decent ending point (though not the mini-cliffhanger I have planned for the end of the next chapter ;-P ), and 3) it was definitely time to update! Anyway without further ado here's the next chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**What I Want**

**Chapter 8 – Family**

_****Then****_

"What the hell were you thinking, Mike?!" Quentin Smythe demanded of his eldest son before turning his hard gaze on the scared blond girl trembling on the sofa next to Michael. "I think you should go home now, young lady. I need to have a word with my son."

The frightened girl fought back her tears as she stood, eager to leave the house and unconcerned with the fact that she didn't actually have any transportation.

"Lydia wait," Michael insisted as he grabbed his girlfriend's wrist and tried unsuccessfully to tug her back down onto the sofa. "Dad, she needs to stay. This involves her and besides she doesn't have a way to get home anyway."

Quentin gave his son a hostile glare turning and yelling at the top of his lungs. "Sebastian! Sebastian!"

A few moments later the boy appeared on the landing at the top of stairs, obviously annoyed by the interruption and the abrupt way in which he had been summoned. "What do you want?" Sebastian snapped.

"Take this girl home," Quentin ordered, motioning at Lydia.

Sebastian regarded his father as though he were crazy. "What? Why? Let Michael take her. I'm busy."

"Sebastian, drive her home _now_, if you ever want to drive again," Quentin threatened the newly licensed teen.

By this point Sebastian had taken a moment to evaluate the tense state of the room. His father was obviously furious, Michael seemed to be barely containing his own temper, and Lydia was now silently crying. Whatever was going on was clearly serious and would probably lead to more trouble than he wanted.

"I'll get my keys," Sebastian grudgingly answered as he turned and disappeared before coming down the stairs a few moments later, keys in hand.

Sebastian didn't say anything to Lydia on the way to her house. He didn't know his brother's girlfriend very well, but he did know that she was typically a bubbly, somewhat vacuous girl; it seemed completely out of character for her to be crying so much. He actually felt the urge to say something comforting to her, but the best he could come up with in his head was, 'there there,' and since that seemed neither particularly original nor especially helpful, he kept it to himself.

After dropping the girl off, Sebastian returned home to a completely silent house. Evidently his father and Michael had finished their argument and closed themselves away in separate rooms; that was certainly nothing new. Sebastian knew that the prudent move would have been to retire to his own room and keep to himself, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him by this point so he reluctantly decided to try to talk to his brother.

"Michael?" Sebastian called tentatively as he knocked on his brother's bedroom door. He didn't receive any response so he drummed harder and shouted again. Still receiving no answer he slowly and noisily opened the door, wanting to make sure he didn't catch his brother during any compromising activity.

When he entered the room, Sebastian quickly detected the reason for his brother's unresponsiveness. He was laying on his bed with his eyes closed and a pair of earbuds in his ears listening to his iPod. Despite being on the other side of the room, Sebastian could hear roaring music leaking from the device.

"You want to be deaf as well as dumb?" Sebastian quipped in a loud voice as he tossed himself across the foot of the bed and smirked at his brother.

Michael's eyes shot open and he looked alarmed for an instant before his eyes narrowed on Sebastian and his face promptly shifted into the familiar scowl that he used as his default expression whenever regarding the younger boy.

"What do you want?" he asked ripping the earbuds from his ears and pausing the song he was listening to.

"What happened with Lydia? She cried all the way home," Sebastian responded, deciding to cut right to the chase. He was startled when, a few seconds later, Michael opened his mouth to answer and quite unexpectedly a small sob escaped his throat. The college student quickly shut his mouth again and clenched his jaw before pointing at the door in an obvious, albeit silent request for Sebastian to leave.

Sebastian's stomach tensed in alarm. "Are you okay?" Sebastian asked with genuine concern. Michael wasn't supposed to sob. He never sobbed. Sebastian hadn't seen him cry at all, not even once, for well over six years now, not since their mother's funeral.

"I'm fine. Now get out," Michael answered in a carefully controlled voice.

Sebastian briefly considered the request, but promptly dismissed it. Whatever was happening was worse than the typical squabbling between his brother and father and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He thought for a moment and quickly formulated a strategy for getting his brother to open up. It was the same strategy he always used when he needed to get along with Michael: he would establish their father as the common enemy.

"Dad's such an asshole. What did he do now?"

Michael frowned, not wanting to discuss it, but too exhausted to get into an argument with Sebastian. Besides, he reasoned that the situation kind of involved him in a peripheral sort of way since he was family.

"He wants Lydia to get an abortion," Michael answered in a strained tone.

Sebastian eyes widened as he quickly processed the information. Obviously that meant that Lydia was pregnant, which was news to him. If it was also news to his father, which it almost certainly was, that pretty much explained the earlier scene he had walked in on.

"Well tough shit, it's not his call. It's up to you and Lydia," Sebastian said after a moment's thought. The reality of the situation was still sinking in and he found it difficult to comprehend that his brother could be a dad soon; nevertheless he could certainly think of worse people than Michael to be a parent...their own father for instance.

"He says it'll ruin my life. That my 'careless mistake' will cost me my career and reputation." His father's words and facial expressions replayed themselves in Michael's mind and ripped through his gut like a dagger, cutting even deeper the second time he heard them.

"Well fuck him. It's your business, and seriously even if you do go into law or politics or whatever after you graduate so what? Tons of people have kids young. You won't even be a teenager anymore when the baby's born, so it's not like your political enemies could even throw the phrase 'teen pregnancy scandal' around. Seriously, it's not that big a deal. If you want to have the baby, have the baby."

"Thanks," Michael answered quietly. He and Lydia hadn't actually discussed what they were going to do and he wasn't sure what he even wanted. He glanced over at Sebastian, pondering whether or not he wanted to continue the conversation. He knew there was a fair chance he would regret it later, but he found himself wanting to get Sebastian's opinion. He needed to talk to someone and so far his brother had been fairly mature about this, certainly more reasonable than his father, and less emotional than Lydia. Michael sighed and frowned as he made up his mind. "I don't know if I want us to have the baby or not."

"You'd be a good dad," Sebastian said after thinking about it for a little while. "But you guys are pretty young, so I can see wanting to wait. Abortions aren't the end of the world either. Just don't let dad bully you into one. It's your call."

"No, it's not," Michael snapped, scowling in frustration. "That's the problem. None of it is my call. I don't get shit in the way of decision rights. I know the laws and frankly it's all pretty much up to Lydia. I don't get any say whatsoever."

Sebastian shrugged. "Well maybe not legally, but as her boyfriend you get the right to tell her your opinion. You can talk about what you want. I'm sure you have influence over her decision even if you can't make the final call."

"Should I even have influence though?" Michael asked with a dispirited shrug. "I don't actually want to raise the baby with her even if she has it. I know that much. I think...well I guess I'd rather split custody or something, but I know I _do not_ want to spend my life with her, especially not raising a kid."

"I thought you liked her? I mean you're dating her," Sebastian pointed out.

"She's okay I guess...but geez you've met her, Seb. She's an airhead. She's just..." Michael trailed off, unsure how to explain why he found Lydia worth dating, despite absolutely not wanting anything serious with her.

"Good in bed?" Sebastian guessed with a laugh. Michael shot him a dirty look and swatted the side of his head, but then after a moment nodded sheepishly. Sebastian continued, "Yeah, I've been with guys like that. Cute but stupid."

"Have you been with any guys who _weren't_ like that?" Michael teased.

"Oh shut up," Sebastian answered, trying to ignore the unbidden thought that reminded him that Sean was in fact quite intelligent. Michael was right though, since he'd been with Sean, Sebastian had fucked and dated mostly attractive idiots, and quite a few of them at that. He was already starting to get bored; they were all so simple, so transparent. He was considering trying his hand at something a little more challenging like seducing straight guys, or perhaps bedding gay guys who weren't complete morons. For once though Sebastian wasn't interested in pondering his next conquest. His brother's situation seemed more important. "Okay, so basic question. If you _could_ decide completely and on your own, how would you want this to play out?"

Michael looked at his brother curiously. He hadn't actually considered whathe himself would want if his dumb girlfriend and obnoxious father weren't part of the equation.

"I think...I think I'd want to have the baby," he decided, already feeling like it was the right call. "I'd want to raise it by myself, or at least without Lydia."

"Then so you will," Sebastian stated as he simultaneously made up his mind to help his brother make it happen.

"Not possible," Michael answered bitterly. "Lydia has all the power and even if I could convince her to have it, dad would hang me out to dry."

Sebastian didn't say anything for several moments, instead pondering the situation, certain that there must be a way to neutralize both his father and his brother's girlfriend. "Does she want to have it?" he asked after a little while.

Michael shrugged. "I dunno. She's kind of just a confused mess right now."

"Make it so that she does want to have it. Convince her how great it would be to be a mother. She's stupid; you're persuasive. Manipulate her. Do whatever it takes, just get her to start thinking like a future mom."

"Yeah and then once she has the kid I'll be stuck with her."

Sebastian smirked as the rest of his plan fell into place. "Nope, you'll sue her for custody as soon as it's born."

Hope briefly flickered across Michael's face before it dimmed again. "Mothers tend to win custody," Michael pointed out with a deep frown.

"Not mothers who screw underage boys. Especially not when the underage boy is their baby daddy's brother," Sebastian answered with a glint in his eye. "Besides, I'm pretty sure we've both seen her using illegal drugs and we can plant the evidence to prove it. No way in hell is she a fit mother."

"That's horrible," Michael gasped, disgusted by the idea of doing such a terrible thing to his sweet, albeit stupid girlfriend. "We can't do that."

"Michael be pragmatic. Is this kid better off aborted, with an incompetent, idiot for a mother, or with a father who cares about it and has the intelligence and money to take care of it?"

"But what about dad?" Michael asked nervously, half-hoping his father would be an excuse to let him out of Sebastian's plan, but also hoping they could figure out a solution to deal with the man so they could go ahead with it.

"He had the nerve to talk to you about scandal and a ruined career. Well I think trying to make his son quietly abort his baby to cover up an unwed pregnancy is a much worse scandal, and if he knows what's good for him – and we both know he does – he'll keep his mouth shut and cooperate. Besides, you're both adults; he really doesn't have any say in this."

Michael sighed and rubbed his eyes, overwhelmed by everything that had been discussed in the few short minutes since Sebastian had jarred him out of his music and angry reflection. After wrestling with his conscience for a while longer, he finally looked up at his brother and took a ragged breath. "I don't know if I can live with this."

"Can you live with the alternative?" Sebastian asked.

**-000-**

_****Now****_

By the time he got to the Hudson-Hummel neighborhood Sam's stomach was a ball of knots and he wasn't sure whether he was more worried about Sebastian or more angry with him. Now that the initial shock of the situation had worn off he couldn't help thinking that Sebastian was being a massive jerk about the whole thing. Sam knew he had messed up. He knew that he should have been more careful, and he deeply regretted his actions; however, despite that he couldn't help but think about the way Sebastian had been urging him on. It had to be at least partly Sebastian's fault, at least to some small extent. They had made the mistake together; Sebastian should have let him help deal with it. They could have gone to the hospital or something.

Sam's stomach turned over in a brand new ball of knots as he pulled into the driveway. _Hospital._ That one word caused all of his freshly stewed anger to wane and a fresh surge of worry to resurface in its place. Was what had happened bad enough to warrant a trip to the hospital? Sam really didn't know. He knew there had been some blood and that Sebastian was obviously hurt, but he had no way of gauging the severity of the situation. Images of his dick ripping through Sebastian's guts slasher movie style flashed through his head and he almost giggled at the exaggerated imagery. He _almost_ giggled, but then he realized that it probably didn't need to be anything as dramatic as that to be serious. All he could think to do was try to do some research online when he got inside. Well, either that or ask Kurt, maybe Kurt would know, if not because he was gay then at least because he was smart and it seemed like he might know about that kind of stuff.

Sam sighed as he unlocked the front door and quietly entered the house; he hated doing research but it definitely seemed like a less scary prospect than broaching the topic with Kurt. '_Hey Kurt, I was just having some rough gay sex with that guy you hate. Any chance I might have accidentally ripped him up with my cock?'_ Yeah, that conversation wasn't going to happen; research it would have to be.

"You go out in your pajamas, dude?"

Sam gasped and whirled around, alarmed to find Finn standing there casually looking him over as he sipped from a can of soda.

"Uh, maybe," Sam fumbled, unsure of how best to answer the question.

"Looks like you did," Finn responded with a decisive nod as though he were helping Sam figure out the answer. "So why?"

"Why what?" Sam stalled as he continued trying to decide just how much he was willing to tell Finn.

"Why'd you go out in your pajamas?" Finn asked. "Actually why'd you even come home? You texted a few hours ago and said you were staying overnight at that party."

"Oh uh...I came home because...because of...well because of the reason." Sam knew he wouldn't be winning any awards for impromptu lying anytime soon.

"You mean because of your mom?" Finn inquired, still trying to piece everything together.

"My mom?" Sam asked puzzled.

"Yeah, she called earlier. She said she tried to call your phone but you didn't answer."

"Um, yeah, I...misplaced my phone," Sam answered. Well 'misplaced,' or 'left on the floor of Sebastian's bathroom,' all the same thing really. Either way he didn't have it. Sam felt his stomach churn with new anxiety as he processed Finn's statement about his mother. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, fine. Just had a snack," Finn answered cheerfully as he held up his soda.

"I mean with my mom?" Sam clarified, irritated with his friend.

"Oh, yeah she's fine too!" Finn rushed to answer when he realized he'd worried Sam. "She's coming to visit you tomorrow actually," Finn continued with a grin, knowing Sam would be pleased.

"Ohh..." Sam trailed off as he tried to figure out how he felt about the unexpected visit. Normally he'd have been delighted to visit with his mom since he didn't get to see his family very often and missed them, but he still had so much on his mind with everything that had happened with Sebastian that he felt like it was just one more thing he had to worry about.

"Sorry man, I thought you'd want to see her. I told her she should come on and you'd probably be home early tomorrow."

"I do want to see her," Sam answered right away, not wanting to give Finn any more reasons to think something was wrong. "I just uh...well I guess I'm thrown off because of the whole misplacing my phone and having to come home in my pajamas thing."

Finn furrowed his brow as he thought that over. "I guess that makes sense. So how come you had to come home in your pajamas again?"

"Uhh, because I lost my phone," Sam answered, intentionally trying to confuse Finn.

"But how'd you lose your phone?" Finn asked, knowing everything still wasn't quite adding up.

"It was in my pants, which is why I had to come home in my pajamas," Sam answered.

"Wait, so you didn't have your pants or your phone?" Finn asked.

"No, I did...uh listen man, I'm really tired plus I better get to sleep if my mom's coming to visit tomorrow. I'll catch you later," Sam said as he headed down the hallway to his room.

"Okay, good night," Finn said as he continued replaying Sam's explanation in his head still trying to make sense of it.

"Night," Sam said as he ducked into his room, grateful that at least Finn didn't realize that the pajamas he was wearing weren't even his own.

**-000-**

Sebastian awoke to the sound of someone rapping on his door and yelling at him. He groaned, rolled over, and then pulled a pillow over his face. Despite his best efforts to block out the intrusive noise he continued to be disturbed by the persistent knocking.

"Go away!" Sebastian half-yelled, half-groaned.

Quentin Smythe frowned at his son's closed door and decided to try the knob. He was pleased to find it unlocked and pushed the door open, hesitating before walking in. He was concerned that he might find Sebastian and the blond boy he'd met the night before – but whose name he hadn't bothered to commit to memory - in some compromising position. After giving them plenty of time to cover up he strode into the room, already bracing himself for the hostile reception he would no doubt receive from his son.

Even under his pillow, Sebastian recognized the sound of his door opening and sensed the vibrations as his father entered the room. He petulantly heaved the pillow off his face and onto the ground.

"I'm curious, what part of 'go away' sounded like 'please come in?'" he inquired as he glared at his father.

"What the hell happened in here?" Quentin asked, ignoring his son's sarcasm in favor of examining the small battlefield that was his son's room. The blond from the night before was nowhere to be found, but Quentin could only assume it was his clothing which was now littering the room. Jeans were bunched up in the center of the floor, there was a shoe sitting on the top of Sebastian's dresser – the usual items which occupied the dresser's surface were scattered and knocked over – and most dramatically the other shoe was resting in a pile of broken glass by what used to be his son's mirror. Adding to the chaos was the fact that all of the sheets and covers which had previously been on Sebastian's bed were now balled up in the corner of the room. In place of his usual bedding, Sebastian seemed to have raided the linen closet but come up with an incomplete, mismatched set which he'd sloppily piled onto his bed and was now lying under, obstinately refusing to even acknowledge the condition of his room.

"Did you want something?" Sebastian demanded as he continued scowling at his father.

"I want to know what happened," Quentin answered in an even tone.

"Nothing. Now leave me alone," Sebastian responded as he pulled the tangle of blankets over his head. In doing so he inadvertently uncovered a shirt which had been resting near his head. Quentin readily deduced that it probably belonged to the rest of the scattered ensemble his date had been wearing, and he couldn't help pondering what, if any, significance its current locale held.

"What happened to your friend?" Quentin asked in his best approximation of a gentle voice.

Sebastian clenched his jaw and took a deep breath before pushing the covers away from his face and sitting up to glare at his father properly. "I killed him and buried him under a pile of sheets," Sebastian answered as he nodded his head toward the mound of his discarded bedding in the corner.

Quentin sighed wishing he could get a straight answer out of Sebastian. A moment later his mouth curled up into a smirk as he thought about the fact that he couldn't get a straight _anything_ out of Sebastian. "Well let me know if you want to talk about it."

"Don't pretend to care, dad. You suck at it," Sebastian answered bitterly. "Now what the hell did you want?"

Quentin's eyes narrowed on his son and he briefly did the math on whether or not it was worth it to call him out on his attitude. Given what he had in mind it wasn't; he would need some semblance of cooperation from Sebastian to make his plan work.

"I want to help your brother," Quentin answered, carefully wording his statement in a way that would be most likely to catch his son's interest and least likely to irritate him. Sebastian arched his eyebrow in response so Quentin continued. "He's about to make a really stupid decision and throw away his future. We need to stop him."

"Go away," Sebastian snapped as he flung himself back down on the bed. The last thing he wanted to do right now was get in the middle of yet another battle between his father and brother.

"This is serious, Sebastian. He needs to stay in school full-time and then go to law school when he finishes. How is he going to support Anna on some menial, college-drop out income? You want them both to starve?"

Sebastian sat up again and folded his arms over his chest, angry at his father's rhetoric.

"First of all from what you said Michael isn't even dropping out. He would be going part-time. Second, what he majors in is really none of my business _or yours_. Third, if you don't want them to starve then just keep supporting his dumb ass. Fourth, we both know you don't even really give a shit in the first place. You just don't want him 'disgracing the family,'" Sebastian made quote marks with his fingers as he used the contentious phrase, "by getting some low-end job."

Rage coursed through Quentin's veins as he listened to Sebastian's assessment. As soon as the teen was done he found himself involuntarily responding. "One of my children is a queer who fucks anyone with a dick, the other wasn't even old enough to legally drink when he became a single parent. Believe me, Sebastian, the 'disgraced family' ship has already sailed."

"Get out of my room," Sebastian demanded in a low voice.

"Just listen to what I have to say," Quentin insisted as he regained his composure and sat down on the edge of Sebastian's bed.

**-000-**

Sam frowned as he absently twirled some pasta around on his fork. He was sitting in a booth at BreadstiX having lunch with his mother and doing his best to pay attention to her story - which from the bits and pieces he'd actually manged to catch seemed to be about some big art project Stacey was working on - but despite his best efforts to focus on what she was saying every few seconds images of Sebastian kept flashing through his head. Images of Sebastian laughing, of him cleaning his house with Sam, of him naked on the bed panting, and finally of him slamming his bathroom door in anger. The whole evening kept replaying itself over and over in Sam's head, so much so that he barely noticed when his mother stopped talking completely, obviously waiting for some kind of response that he had no idea how to give.

"Cool," Sam answered with a shrug as he tried to hedge his bets.

"You think so?" Mary Evans answered as she struggled to maintain a straight face.

"Yeah definitely!" Sam responded, feigning enthusiasm.

"Great, I'll just go ahead and tell them to keep him then," Mary said with a smirk.

"Wait what?" Sam asked furrowing his brow and realizing that perhaps he hadn't given the right response after all.

"I was just saying how Stevie had been abducted by aliens. I'm glad you think it's so cool," Mary said as she giggled and shook her head at her son.

"I'm sorry, mom. I think I must have misheard," Sam apologized. "Uhh, Stevie's fine right?"

Mary laughed out loud before answering. "Yes dear, he's okay, but you obviously aren't. What's going on?"

"Nothin'," Sam answered with a dismissive shrug. It was nothing he wanted to talk about with his mother anyway.

"Oh come on, Sammy. I know you better than that. You've obviously got something on your mind, and I've got a pretty good hunch what."

"You do?" Sam asked incredulously. There was really _no way_ she could know.

"Sure I do. It's a girl isn't it? You only get that face when you're pining over a girl and it isn't going well. Is it Mercedes again?"

"Oh uh...no it's not Mercedes. Or any girl. Really that's not it _at all_," Sam emphasized. He wondered how close to the mark her guess really was. True, obviously Sebastian wasn't a _girl_ but maybe this situation wasn't all that different from all the times he'd had feelings for girls in the past. Maybe it wasn't even that big a deal. Sam swallowed hard as he once again remembered the hurt, angry tone of Sebastian's voice as he told him to get out. No, this was definitely a big deal and nothing he had ever gone through with any past girlfriends had ever prepared him for this. He frowned morosely and continued picking at his uneaten lunch.

"It's okay, honey," Mary reassured him as she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "I know it seems bad right now, but it's going to work out just the way it's meant to."

"But what does that mean?" Sam asked as he looked up at her with a confused expression. "If it doesn't work out then it was _meant_ to not work out? Is that what I'm supposed to think?"

"Well...More that if it's meant to work out it will," Mary answered calmly, sensing that she was walking a conversational tightrope.

"But what if it doesn't?" Sam demanded as he dropped the fork he was holding onto his plate with a loud clink. "What if it should have worked out, but I blew it and now everything's hopeless?!"

Mary sighed, not at all missing the days when she herself was seventeen and everything seemed to be riding on one person or even on one tiny interaction. "I'm sure you didn't blow it, honey. She'll come around," she reassured him, reaching across the table and squeezing his hand again, "Tell me what happened."

"I can't," Sam said right away. He was embarrassed that his mother still thought this was about a girl, and even more embarrassed about the fact that he had more or less lead her to think precisely that. "It's really not what you think, mom. I...I shouldn't even be in this situation. The whole thing is just _weird _and I want to just try to forget about it, okay?"

"Sammy, I know you better than that. You may _want_ to forget about her, but we both know you won't until you really go all out and go for it. It's just not in your nature, dear. You're a romantic."

"Mom, geez! Just drop it!" Sam snapped starting to get angry. "It's not even about a _girl_."

Sam's eyes went wide and his mouth gaped as he realized what he'd just said.

Mary regarded him curiously for a few moments, trying to make sense not only of what he was saying, but also of what he _wasn't_ saying. For a second she thought that maybe she had been on the wrong track completely. Maybe he wasn't upset about a relationship, maybe school was getting him down or he was having trouble adjusting to the routine of his new swim team. Then she remembered the way he'd just talked about messing things up and how maybe they wouldn't work out even though they were supposed to. It certainly sounded like he was talking about a person. But it wasn't a _girl._ He'd clearly said that and seemed to mean it.

"Is it Rory?" Mary asked as casually as she could before taking a sip of water.

"What?!" Sam gasped, confused by the question.

"The boy you like. Is it Rory? He's adorable and I noticed how close you two seemed at Christmas." Mary was already starting to warm to the idea as she thought about it. The bright-eyed young Irishman had made a good impression on her with his politeness and the way he had seamlessly fit into the Evans' family Christmas tradition.

Sam laughed, amused by the notion of anything other than friendship between himself and Rory. "No, it isn't Rory, mom."

"Kurt?" She guessed.

"No! He's still with Blaine, and I _do not_ have those types of feelings for Kurt."

"It isn't Finn is it?" Mary asked at a loss for who else it could be. Puck certainly didn't seem like a reasonable candidate.

"Yuck! No way!" Sam shook his head vigorously, trying to banish unwanted images from his head. "You don't know him."

And just like that Sam had come out to his mother about his first crush on a guy. He paused for a little while trying to process what had just happened. It felt really weird talking to her about this - actually, it felt really weird talking to _anyone_ about this - but he was also kind of glad it was out in the open. He had never doubted his mother's support on the issue. She had always been vocal about her support for gay rights and if he thought about it she was probably the main reason he himself had never been homophobic. Maybe if he could give her a much more PG version of what had happened he really would feel better talking about it.

"His name is Sebastian. He goes to another school..."

**-000-**

"Your step-mom just drove up. Come help unload her stuff," Quentin requested as he knocked on the open door of the family's entertainment room and lingered in the doorway, looking at his son expectantly and wanting to make sure that he wouldn't simply be ignored by the moody teen.

Sebastian frowned at his father and paused the movie he was watching. "Haven't you already got me doing enough today?"

"The other thing is for your brother and niece. This is just basic family politeness. Now quit complaining and come on." Quentin insisted as he folded his arms and made it clear that he wasn't going anywhere without Sebastian. He tried not to notice the ginger way Sebastian stood and walked across the room. He didn't want to speculate about why his son was walking so carefully. He certainly didn't consider _asking_ him. He knew from experience that questions like that could yield answers he had no desire to hear.

A few moments later they were in the garage watching with shared amusement as Vanessa Smythe sat in her car reapplying her make up in the mirror, completely unaware of their presence. When she finally noticed them she startled and smeared her lipstick comically across the side of her mouth. She quickly regained her composure, wiped her mouth, and opened her car door.

"Hello baby!" Vanessa exclaimed as she gracefully slid out of the car and into her husband's arms.

"Welcome home, dear," Quentin answered as he half-hardheartedly returned his wife's embrace.

"Hi Sebastian," She added as an afterthought with a curt nod at the boy.

"Hi V, I'm impressed," Sebastian said as he folded his arms and stood well back from the young woman. Sometimes she tried to hug him just to piss him off and he didn't want to take the chance.

"Impressed about what?" Vanessa asked on cue.

"The fact that you managed to find your way home," Sebastian answered with a smirk.

"Oh I had GPS!" Vanessa exclaimed, oblivious to any sarcasm.

"Remind me to write Garmin a nasty letter," Sebastian remarked as he rolled his eyes.

"Why don't you and Malinda bring in my things?" Vanessa suggested as she took Quentin's hand and started leading him into the house.

"Why don't you wear a blouse that actually covers your breasts?" Sebastian retorted, anticipating and ignoring the light swat to the shoulder his father gave him.

"That is none of your business!" Vanessa snapped indignantly before glancing down at her chest to make sure that she wasn't actually having a nip slip.

"Neither is carrying in your bags my business," Sebastian pointed out. "What do I look like a bellboy?"

"Sebastian, close your mouth and go and help," Quentin ordered before turning to his wife. "Malinda is already working on dinner. Michael is coming this evening."

"Oh god, why?" Vanessa exclaimed with a grimace. If Michael was coming then that meant that they would have to do her husband's idea of a 'family dinner' with everyone sitting formally around the dining room table. Nothing spoiled Vanessa's appetite more than putting up with Quentin's sons, especially the pair of them together.

Quentin scowled at the woman. He was offended by her reaction – even though he himself was also dreading dinner – but he quickly reminded himself that he also needed her cooperation. "Come inside, dear. There are some things we need to discuss before he gets here."

"Good Lord, dad! Did you see all the crap she bought?" Sebastian blurted out as he opened the rear driver's side door and took in the expanse of boxes and shopping bags. "Wouldn't it be cheaper to just hire a whore?"

Since Vanessa had already walked into the house and Quentin was sure that she was out of earshot he turned and smirked at his son. "There are much better tax benefits to being married."

**-000-**

"Are you gonna tell dad?" Sam asked quietly as he sat in the front seat of his mother's car. They were on their way back to the Hudson-Hummels' after spending the afternoon at the mall shopping. It seemed like every time he got together nowadays with one of his parents they would take him shopping and Sam had a feeling it had to do with guilt over their situation. Usually that would in turn make him feel guilty and he would avoid actually buying very much, but this time he had given in and picked out a whole new outfit. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't picked it out with the express intention of trying to impress Sebastian – and even more embarrassingly he was pretty sure his mother knew that too. Now that their day was done all he could think about was if she would tell his father the 'big news' about his new interest and what the man would think about his son's desire to impress another guy.

"I won't tell him if you don't want me to, dear. But I think _you_ should tell him," Mary answered, unsurprised by the question and glad that Sam had finally brought up the topic of discussing recent developments with his father.

"I don't think I can do that," Sam answered softly, terrified by the notion.

"Well why on earth not?" Mary asked. "He's your father and he loves you. It won't bother him."

"You think?" Sam asked for reassurance even though the logical part of his brain knew she was right.

"Well of course, Sam," Mary insisted. "You know your father better than that. Besides _I_ wouldn't have married a homophobe anymore than I would have raised one, and I think I did pretty well on both accounts."

"But it would still be really awkward to just call him and be like, 'hey dad guess what?'," Sam countered. "Especially since I don't think it's even going to work out with me and Sebastian."

"Oh sure it'll work out," Mary argued. "Any boy would be insane not to snap you up, dear."

Sam laughed, "That's what you always used to say about any _girl_, but I'm still single aren't I?"

"Well, I'm not entirely convinced that your ex-girlfriends aren't in fact insane," Mary answered with a smirk.

"Mom! I thought you liked them?"

"I did dear, but that doesn't mean I can't question their sanity," Mary reasoned. "Anyway, the point is to just stay positive about Sebastian and it'll be fine, and getting back to the other subject, I assure you your dad _will not_ have a problem with it."

"I just don't want to make a big deal about it, if it doesn't even work out. Plus no one else knows _at all._"

"You don't have to make a big deal about it. Just call him and chat and when he asks what's new, casually mention that you're interested in someone new and it happens to be a guy."

Sam sighed, he knew his mother wasn't going to let up on the issue, but he also had a feeling that he really would feel better once it was out in the open. It already felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of him just being able to talk to_ anyone_ about his confusing feelings, even if it was his mom.

"You know, I'm really proud of you, Sammy," Mary said as she stopped at a traffic light and took the opportunity to give her son a warm smile. "I know this is tough for you. And I do think things will be just fine, but either way I just want you to know how impressed I am that you're brave enough to even be open to this possibility. It really says a lot about your character."

Sam blushed and managed to feel happy, embarrassed, proud, and uncomfortable all at once.

"Thanks...and okay fine. I'll call dad while you're on the way home."

**-000-**

**End Note: I hope you all enjoyed this little window into Sam's and Seb's family lives. If you did, good news that's pretty much going to be the focus of next chapter too! ...If not...uhhh sorry, but there's lots of other stuff coming up in later chapters. :-P **

**Next chapter though, we'll get a look at the family dinner Quentin has planned, find out what else he's plotting, see Sam's dad's reaction to his son's new romantic interests, and generally get a better look into Sam's head.**

**Please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter, I'm especially interested in hearing thoughts about Seb and Michael's discussion/decision in the flashback segment. I know it's really controversial stuff, and of course what they did to Lydia is pretty awful. I'd also love to know if Sam's coming out to his mom, and her reaction felt realistic and natural. Reviews and feedback are much appreciated :-)**


	9. Chapter 9: Dinner

**A/N: Whew, that was exhausting. I was determined to get the new chapter posted within a week of the last one and I think it's finally ready. I hope you guys like it. As I said, I originally intended to have this chapter combined with the last chapter since they both have a focus on the boys' families and since they're so close together in story time. I'm ultimately glad they're separate though since one chapter would have been far too long and it would have been even longer between updates. Anyway I hope you guys like this!**

**What I Want**

**Chapter 9 – Dinner**

_****Then****_

"Seb, sweetie may I come in?" Carolyn Smythe called softly through her son's bedroom door. She waited a few seconds and then getting no response she quietly eased the door open. She soon spied the eight-year-old child lying on his bed with his face buried in the pillows.

"Baby, do you want to talk?" Carolyn asked gently as she sat down behind him on the bed and started rubbing his back. The boy vigorously shook his head and kept his face hidden.

"Do you have any questions?" She asked softly.

Sebastian froze as he thought that over. He did have a lot of questions. He wanted to know if his mom would lose her hair. He wanted to know if she would still read to him at night. He wanted to know if his dad would be at home more now that she was sick. He wanted to know how long it was going to take for her to get well. He wanted to know the answers to all these questions and a thousand more that he hadn't even thought of yet, but they all had far too many words and they all seemed far too difficult to ask. Instead Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and rolled over – he didn't want his mom to know she had made him cry after all - then in a shaky voice he asked the one question that didn't seem like it had too many words to speak, but which he desperately needed to have answered.

"Why?"

Carolyn sighed and readjusted them both on the bed so that Sebastian's head was resting in her lap. She didn't speak for a few minutes. Instead she just stroked her son's soft, brown hair as she pondered what to say. In truth she had no idea how to answer such a complicated question, especially since it was the same question she had been demanding an answer to herself. Part of her wanted to simply say something encouraging to cheer up her son. She wanted to tell him that there was a reason that this had happened and that she would get through it...she wanted to tell him that, but she also didn't feel right about saying it. She knew that if she said that she would be lying. There wasn't a reason for this. She didn't believe there was some higher purpose. All she wanted to do was scream at her body for doing this to her, for doing this to her family.

"I don't know why, baby," she said quietly as she squeezed him close. "Sometimes bad things just happen for no reason and we can't stop them."

"That's not fair!" Sebastian snapped as he finally opened his eyes and looked up at the blurry, tear-distorted image of his mother.

"No, baby, it's not," Carolyn agreed as she felt the tears silently forming in her own eyes.

"Then WHY?!" Sebastian demanded again in a louder voice as he lashed out with his arm and hit the mattress. He wasn't used to being told that his family was powerless to control something, and he certainly wasn't familiar with the idea of life being unfair to him.

"I don't know," Carolyn repeated softly as she tried to soothe the boy by rubbing his chest.

"But you _have_ to be okay, mom," Sebastian insisted as his face contorted with anger and desperation and the tears finally spilled from his eyes and down his cheeks. "You _have_ to," he whined.

None of this made any sense to him. Sebastian didn't understand why this had to be different from anything else in life. Why couldn't his parents fix this? He wanted his mom to be okay. He wanted it so that meant that she or his dad was supposed to make it happen. That was how things always worked; he wanted something and they got it for him. It was so unfair that they couldn't do something _this_ important for him.

"I'll try baby. I'll try as hard as I can," Carolyn promised.

They sat silently for a few more minutes, Sebastian quietly sobbing into his mother's lap as he felt like his whole world was crumbling. When he had finally calmed down she pulled him up into a sitting position and held him close. Then she kissed the side of his head before forcing herself to speak in a cheerful voice. "How about some dinner?"

"Not hungry," Sebastian answered with downcast eyes as he shook his head.

"Not even for Fun Dip?" Carolyn pressed in an incredulous tone of voice.

Sebastian froze and then tilted his head in contemplation. Fun Dip was his favorite candy and it was pretty tough to pass up. "Do you have grape?" he asked quietly, the first hint of a smile on his face.

"Well let's see here," Carolyn said dramatically as she reached into her pocket and pulled out the treat she had stashed there for him. "You do seem to be luck. It is grape!"

"Yes!" Sebastian squealed as he held out his palm expectantly.

Carolyn wasted no time in handing her son the sugary snack, pleased that he would at least end up eating something that night. She continued holding him while he ate.

"Mom?" Sebastian asked once he'd finished.

"Yes baby?"

"Will you sleep here with me tonight?" he asked as he felt the heaviness invading his body, but knew that he wasn't ready for his mother to leave yet.

"Of course," Carolyn answered as they both stretched out on the bed.

"Do I have to get up and go brush my teeth?" Sebastian asked tiredly as he snuggled close to the woman.

"You do, Seb, but just for tonight we can let it slide," Carolyn answered as she reached over and switched off the lamp before resuming her hold on the boy.

**-000-**

Michael cradled his baby daughter in his arms and set his jaw in determination as he trudged up the driveway of his family's current home. The last thing he wanted to do was spend his Sunday driving across the state to have dinner with his obnoxious family, but his father's 'invitation' hadn't exactly left him the option of declining. At least not if he wanted to see his father's monthly deposits continue to find their way into his bank account. He looked down at Anna, feeling almost as though he were betraying her somehow just by taking her into the toxic environment.

"Just remember, sweet girl," he cooed at her as he contorted his face into a silly expression. "Your grandfather is a very bad man. Yes he is. Yes he is." Michael rang the doorbell. "But I won't let him hurt you. No I won't. No I won't."

A few moments later the door opened and Malinda, the Smythe's maid smiled warmly at Michael.

"Good evening, Mr. Michael. Thank you for coming," Malinda said as she answered the door in the polite, formal manner she had been instructed to always use when greeting guests rather than the more casual, gregarious way she felt inclined to greet the young man who was actually her favorite member of the household.

"Hey Malinda, it's good to see you," Michael answered as he held the baby tightly with one arm and reached out to pat the middle-aged woman's shoulder with the other.

"Your father asked me to take you to his study as soon as you arrived," Malinda said as she closed the door behind him.

"Tough. I'm taking Anna to the nursery first. Then I want to see my brother. But I'll be sure to let him know you told me," Michael answered.

"Yes sir," Malinda answered as she took her leave so that she could go and put the finishing touches on dinner.

Michael had just finished setting Anna up in the nursery and was picking up the baby monitor's earpiece when he was greeted by a most unwelcome sight in the doorway, a bleach blond sight with fake boobs and an even faker smile.

"Hi Honey, I thought I heard you arrive. Come give me a big hug!" Vanessa exclaimed as she rushed toward the stunned college student with outstretched arms and wrapped him in an overly tight embrace.

"What the hell, Vanessa?!" Michael asked as he tried to pry himself loose. "It's me. MICHAEL," he said very slowly and very clearly. "You know, the evil step-son. I think you must have me confused with someone you're sleeping with...so probably not dad."

"Oh there's that charming Smythe wit," Vanessa answered with a wide smile. "Between you and your brother and father I'm in stitches all the time!"

"Yes, I'm sure Sebastian loves to see you in stitches," Michael responded before muttering just loud enough for her to hear, "...and bandages and gauze too no doubt."

As he backed away from the oddly behaving woman, Michael was startled by a deep, loud voice.

"Hello son," Quentin said as he regarded them from the doorway of the nursery. He was pleased with his wife's efforts.

"Crap, Malinda said you were in your study," Michael said as he turned around to the face the man, before adding with a sarcastic smirk, "...I mean 'hi dad'."

"I wanted to see my granddaughter," Quentin responded as he ignored his son's greeting and stepped around him and Vanessa so that he could get to the crib.

Vanessa turned her back on the pair and rolled her eyes. She was completely uninterested in the baby and didn't see what all the fuss was about. All it ever did was lie there, cry, or make disgusting odors. She sashayed out of the nursery, eager to retreat to the living room and fix herself a drink and confident that her husband couldn't accuse her of not doing her part in his plan.

"How's granddad's little princess?" Quentin cooed as he scooped the child up and started making silly faces at her.

"You'll scare her!" Michael chided as he tried to grab the baby away, selectively forgetting the fact that he had just been making similar faces at her a few minutes earlier.

"I won't scare her, I'm her grandfather," Quentin insisted as he turned and held the baby out of reach.

"All the more reason for her to be scared," Michael countered as he reached around his father and grabbed Anna.

"I'm glad to see you too, son," Quentin joked as he allowed the young man to take the child, but quickly put an arm around him, using the close proximity to initiate a hug.

Michael shot his father a withering glare and pulled away, before kissing Anna's forehead and tucking her back into the crib.

"Come to the study with me, Michael. There's something I want to show you on my computer," Quentin requested as he returned his arm to its previous position around Michael's shoulders and led him from the room."

As soon as he was certain his father and brother were out of earshot, Sebastian quietly slipped down the hallway and into his niece's room. He gently picked up the child and took a seat in the room's rocking chair. He'd never want anyone to know it of course, but he was happy to spend some quiet time with Anna, cooing baby talk at her as he sat and reflected on the many complications that were currently tangling themselves around his life.

There were several things troubling Sebastian as he rocked his niece: the current situation with his father and brother, the Warblers' unexpected recent defeat at Reginonals, the surprising news that Dave Karofsky had attempted suicide...any one of these depressing topics alone would have been fodder for extended reflection. Together they should have been huge and overwhelming; they weren't. Instead they were merely annoying sources of background frustration. The only thing that seemed to matter, the one all-consuming subject that Sebastian couldn't seem to clear from his head was, of all things, a boy. A boy with artificially lightened blond hair, an amazing chest, and an irritatingly genuine smile.

"I think your uncle is going crazy, Anna," Sebastian cooed at the baby as he shook his head and contorted his face into a big silly grin. "Uhh yes I am. Uhh yes I am."

Elsewhere across the house, Michael grinned as he listened, unbeknownst to his brother, to the sounds coming through the baby monitor that was clipped into his ear.

"So you like it then?" Quentin asked smugly as he nodded toward the expensive sports car on his computer screen. He was pleased with his son's reaction and the way he was practically eating out of his hand so far.

"Yeah dad, it's great," Michael answered playing along.

"Good. That's what I like to hear, son. You know I'm just looking for a good reason to buy it for you," Quentin said as he mentally prepared to begin the next part of his speech.

**-000-**

Sam sighed as he collapsed face first onto his bed. He felt exhausted from everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours. His stomach hurt; it was tight and sore and queasy. He knew better than to pretend it had anything to do with his ab routine or anything he had eaten. This was all the more apparent since he'd skimped on his crunches for the day anyway, although at least it more or less balanced out since he'd also barely eaten. No, he was pretty sure the pain in his stomach had something to do with an emotion...he just couldn't figure out which one. He was having enough trouble even assigning labels to what he felt, let alone figuring out which one was the culprit behind his upset stomach.

He was also tired, and at least that, he was pretty sure, did have a natural physiological reason behind it. He had been up late into the night trying to research the possible damage he had done to Sebastian, as well as of course replaying the entire experience and their final words to each other over and over again in his head. That was a whole different mess. On the physical front, as best he could figure out, Sebastian could have anything from minimal tearing, to an anal fissure, to an all out perforation. He had read everything he could find on the various conditions, symptoms, and causes. He had read and read until the electronic typeface on his screen was was nothing but a confusing swirl of letters, made all the more difficult to discern thanks to his dyslexia. The most frustrating thing about the entire situation was that he had no way of knowing what the true extent of the damage really was and if he should be directing Sebastian to the nearest emergency room or just advising him to eat plenty of fiber and remain regular.

Naturally throughout all of his research he felt overwhelming guilt about what he had done and general disgust with himself. He felt nauseated when he thought about the blood he'd seen and all the more ashamed about the way Sebastian had told him off and then kicked him out of his house. Why had they ever let things get so far out of control? Why hadn't Sebastian said something sooner? Shouldn't he be more familiar with this kind of thing? Would he ever forgive Sam for what he had done? Would he let Sam apologize? Would he ever even speak to him again? Sam didn't know. He didn't even really know what he'd done to Sebastian, physically or emotionally, and he had no idea how to go about making any of it right again. The whole thing was driving him mad.

Sam also felt ashamed of the fact that despite everything he had physically enjoyed the experience so much. It had been the most exciting, intense sex he had ever had. He was angry that the otherwise great experience had been overshadowed by the horrible aftermath. Of course whenever Sam pondered any of that he would realize how selfish it was even thinking about his own pleasure and excitement when Sebastian had been hurt, and then he would feel guilty and ashamed all over again.

When it came down to it, there was really only one thing Sam was sure of: sex damage and their weird limbo relationship status aside, his feelings for Sebastian were just as strong as they had been before the encounter. The sex had certainly confused things, but it hadn't actually changed his feelings at all. Even if Sebastian was angry at him, even if he himself did have a lot of shame and guilt to work through, he knew without a doubt that he still cared about Sebastian and still wanted to be it him just as much as he ever had. There was just something about Sebastian that was intoxicating and utterly addicting.

Sam groaned and rolled over onto his back, staring up at his ceiling. His mother had been right; even if he wanted to forget about Sebastian – and part of him really did – he wouldn't be able to move on until he had given this his best shot. That last realization filled Sam with terror. It meant there was no way he would realistically be able to keep this a secret. He had already tried to do the secret relationship thing with Mercedes the year before and failed miserably. This would probably be even harder to hide since if he continued spending time with Sebastian he couldn't just attribute it to Glee stuff the way he and Mercedes had tried to do.

Sam was disappointed in himself for being so afraid to tell his friends that he liked a guy. Then he thought it over more carefully and corrected himself; sure announcing the guy part was intimidating, but several of their friends were gay or bi. No, it was announcing _who_ the particular guy was that was the really scary part. How could he possibly admit to Finn and Kurt, the guys who were sharing their house with him, that the dude who had caused them so much misery was his current romantic interest? In many ways telling people like his parents who didn't actually know Sebastian was much easier.

Sam frowned as he thought about his next life changing task. He had promised his mother that he would call his father and let him know about the situation with Sebastian, let him know that he was interested in a guy. Fear seized Sam's tortured stomach and he reconsidered his previous evaluation that telling his parents was less scary than telling his friends. The idea of sharing the news with his father was plenty frightening. Sam and his dad were close and the thought of disappointing the man was horrible. Sam knew his mother was right when she said that his dad loved him and that this wouldn't change that; Sam didn't think that his father would quit loving him or that he would do anything dramatic like disown him, but just the idea of _disappointing_ his father, especially in what seemed like a pretty big way, was terrifying to Sam.

The frustrating thing was that he couldn't figure out whether or not his father would be disappointed and if so how much. His dad seemed okay with gay people and he also seemed to implicitly agree with Sam's mother on gay rights issues. The problem was that he never really said much about the topic one way or another. Plus Sam knew that being okay with something _in theory_ for other peoplewas quite a bit different than being okay with it for one's own son. Sam decided that maybe he was lucky that he would be doing this over the phone. At least this way he wouldn't have to see any disappointment on his dad's face.

**-000-**

"Malinda! Malinda!"

Vanessa shrill voice bellowed throughout the house. Sebastian winced as he heard it and right on cue Anna began crying.

"Where is that woman?!" Vanessa demanded as she walked through the hallway past the nursery and, spotting Sebastian detoured into the room.

Sebastian glared at her and raised his finger to his lips as he pointedly nodded toward the baby. "I think she's making dinner," he said in a low voice as he gently rocked Anna.

"Where?" Vanessa asked as she looked around the room.

Sebastian gaped at her. The question was a new low, even for her. "Just a stab in the dark here V, but I'm going to guess in the kitchen."

Vanessa huffed and her eyes narrowed as she planned her revenge. "I'm going to have that careless woman deported. She broke my favorite cocktail glass."

Realization flickered across Sebastian's face as he remembered Aaron's theatrics at the party when he'd broken up with him.

"Okay, first of all, I think Malinda's from Akron so good luck with that deportation thing. Second, how do you know she broke it?"

"It's missing and I found a piece of broken glass under the bar."

_Damn Sam and his stupid distracting sweeping lessons,_ Sebastian thought as he considered what to do. _Oh well, fuck it._

"I broke it."

"What? Why?" Vanessa demanded with her trademark confused expression.

"Because it was your favorite and I hate you," Sebastian answered calmly.

Vanessa gasped and covered her mouth dramatically. Then fury flashed across her face and she rushed across the room and slapped Sebastian as hard as she could. "You evil little shit!"

Sebastian sighed and gave his step-mother a cold look as he tightened his grip on Anna."Geez V, hitting a teenager holding a baby. You're a real class act."

Vanessa didn't say anything. Instead she just flipped her hair and whirled around expansively, intent on making a flashy exit. Her plan was foiled a moment later when she walked face first into Malinda's ample chest, the maid having come to summon everyone for dinner.

"And you!" Vanessa said glaring up at the servant and waving a finger at her accusingly. "I don't know where Akron is, but you better stay out of my way unless you want to go back there!"

Once everyone had gathered around the large dining room table they waited tensely as Malinda laid out the food and then began serving them, picking up first one dish of food and then another and walking around to each family member in turn.

"So Michael," Quentin said as he broke the silence in his most genial voice. "as I was saying earlier, college is very important. In fact I want to make a large deposit into Anna's 529 plan later this month."

"That sounds nice," Michael responded diplomatically. "Thank you, dad."

Quentin smiled graciously, finally ready to drop the other shoe. "Of course in return I expect-"

"I don't want rolls or biscuits," Vanessa snapped, frowning at the maid and interrupting her husband. He shot her an icy glare which went unnoticed. "Go and make me some banana nut bread."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, we don't have any banana nut bread," Malinda explained cautiously.

"That's why I said to go and _make_ some, you useless woman. Honestly, is a decent slice of bread really so much to ask?"

Malinda chewed her lower lip nervously as she tried to figure out a suitable response. Before she could answer Michael chimed in.

"Vanessa it would take hours for her to bake bread and I'm sure she has better things to do anyway. Just shut up and eat a roll."

Indignation flashed across the young woman's face and she opened her mouth to speak. This time however, she caught the warning look her husband was shooting her and sighed, forcing a smile onto her face instead. "Thank you, Michael. What a very good idea," she answered in a strained voice as she grabbed a roll and dropped it dramatically onto her plate.

"You know what else is a good idea," Quentin said, picking up where he left off as fast as he could, desperate to make his pitch before the temporary peace in the room expired. "A good education. Going to law school was the best decision I've ever made, and I'm sure, Michael, that with everything we've already discussed you'll-"

"What happened to your face, Seb?" Michael asked, desperate for an excuse to change the subject and curious about the large red mark he had just noticed on his brother's cheek.

"I'm sure he's fine," Quentin rushed to answer for his younger son. "Now anyway about law school-"

"Actually it really hurts," Sebastian complained rubbing his face and pointedly refusing to acknowledge the warning looks his father was giving him. "V hit me a little while ago. Almost made me drop Anna too. You should kick her ass, Mike," Sebastian suggested with a dark smirk, eagerly anticipating the scene that he knew was about to play out.

Michael snorted derisively in response. "Quit being such a little bitch boy," he insulted his brother, easily spotting the shameless ploy for attention; however, that didn't stop him from turning a furious glare at his step-mother a moment later. "You hit him? _While_ he was holding my daughter? What the fuck were you thinking?"

"He broke my favorite glass," Vanessa whined in defense. "And he's completely exaggerating. He didn't almost drop the kid. Besides like you've never hit him."

"I'm allowed to hit him. I'm his brother. You're just a crazy bitch with a bread fixation."

Vanessa tossed her fork and knife into her plate as she reached her breaking point. She didn't care what her husband wanted, she wasn't going to let his obnoxious son speak to her like this. "Well _I'm _allowed to hit him too if he destroys my property. And if you think-"

"NO ONE is allowed to hit him," Quentin cut in using his most authoritative voice as he felt himself struggling to hold on to his own temper. He was sick of being interrupted and found himself giving in to the rant he felt coming on. "We're not a bunch of white trash rednecks. We don't smack each other around. We discuss our differences like civilized people. Without name calling and..."

Sebastian sniggered as his father continued his tirade. He fold his arms over his chest, pleased with himself as Michael and Vanessa both interrupted his father a moment later to voice their own differing opinions. Soon the 'discussion' the other three were having had degraded into an all out shouting match. Sebastian was delighted to have simultaneously achieved two objectives. He had paid Vanessa back for her affront in the nursery, and he had drawn his father and brother's mutual hostility out into the open. Their tense politeness was much more grating than their familiar sniping.

"THAT'S IT!" Quentin bellowed a couple of minutes later. "I've had enough of this. Now shut up, you ingrate, and let me tell you how it's going to be."

Vanessa smiled to herself. She was much more comfortable with her husband's secondary plan and glad that everyone could now officially quit pretending to be nice to Michael.

"I pay for your eduction, for Anna's care, and for your general bills and expenses. You _are_ going to continue going to go to school full-time. You are going to take your LSATs. You're going get _early_ admission to at least three law schools and then you're going to pick the best one and graduate magna cum laude. It was good enough for me and it's good enough for you. Got it?"

"No!" Michael snapped in a steady voice as he stared his father down. "You can keep your damn money. I don't want anything to do with you and I sure as hell don't want to end up with the same life you've got. If you _ever _want to see your granddaughter again you'll quit being such a prick and butt the fuck out of my business."

"Oh I don't think so," Quentin retorted with a satisfied sneer. "If _you_ ever want to see your daughter again you'll do exactly as I say."

"Fuck off."

"I mean it. You'll lose custody of her so fast your head will spin," Quentin promised. "I have friends in Child Services and they will be making surprise visits."

"So what? I don't have anything to hide," Michael answered.

"You will after I've hired someone to break in and plant questionable illegal substances."

Michael's eyes narrowed on his father and his mouth became a hard line as he struggled to control his emotions.

"I'm just taking a page out of your book, Michael," Quentin explained. "I guess we're _already_ a lot alike in that way. In fact just as you did in your custody battle with Anna's mother, I too have witnesses who will swear they've seen you doing reckless, illegal things that endangered Anna's life." Quentin made a sweeping gesture toward his wife and Sebastian.

"Yes," Vanessa said woodenly on cue as she pulled up the notes she had made on her phone. "Michael has a major alcohol problem and despite my pleas I have seen him getting in his car and driving crunk with his young daughter."

"Driving crunk?" Sebastian asked her with a smirk.

Vanessa looked back at her phone's screen and nodded. "Yep, that's what it says. I guess that makes sense though. Playing crunk music should be against the law."

Sebastian sighed and shook his head before turning his attention to his brother. "We'll coach her better before the trial. Anyway, sorry Mike, but 'I have to do what is best for Anna,'" he parroted as his father had instructed. "Your alcoholism is threatening to spiral out of control. I cannot let Anna suffer as a result."

"You're serious?!" Michael snapped as he stood up from his seat and glared across the table at his brother. "You're really going to take _his_ side in this?" he demanded motioning toward their father. "I don't believe you, Seb. What the fuck?!"

Sebastian chuckled, and held up his hands innocently. "What can I say? Dad made it worth my while."

"Your brother and step-mother are both getting luxurious vacations, Mike. Isn't that nice?" Quentin explained.

"Separate of course," Sebastian remarked. "I'm thinking Aruba, or maybe Bora Bora. Haven't decided yet. I'll have to research the gay scene first."

"I'm going to go to Jamaica!" Vanessa exclaimed excitedly to Michael. She was delighted to benefit from his loss.

"You know, V, if you want to go somewhere really exotic you should consider Akron," Sebastian suggested dryly.

"Ohh, I'm going to have to look into that," Vanessa answered as she picked up her phone to make a note. "How do you spell that?"

"This is ridiculous!" Michael screamed as he slammed the palm of his hand against the surface of the table.

"Just calm down, son," Quentin said patiently. "I'm still willing to give you all the extra things we talked about earlier and of course no change to our present arrangement. All you have to do is finish school just as we planned all along. It's not a bad deal for you at all. Just make no mistake about it. If you drop out, change majors, or don't get into law school...well I'll have a new little girl to raise. I'm just doing what's best for you. You'll see that someday."

Michael took a deep breath and made sure his voice was calm and even when he responded. "No, dad. I'll never see that. I'll never be like that. You may be a lawyer, but you're nothing but a white-collar thug. You're a cold, heartless bastard and I'm ashamed to be your son. But I will do this. I'll take your damn money and your stupid car and everything else I can get out of you, and I'll go to school. I'll do this for my daughter_. _But as soon as I'm done, we're done_._ I'm leaving and you'll never see me or Anna again."

"You don't mean that," Quentin responded confidently. "That's years away. You'll be long over it by then."

"No. I'll never be over it. I'll never forgive you," Michael promised. "And as for _you,_" he said as he turned his attention toward Sebastian. "I hate you. You make me sick. You're just as greedy and selfish as he is. You're nothing but a self-involved faggot and I hope your queer little dick rots off."

**-000-**

"Hello,"

Dwight Evans answered the phone in a cool, brusque tone of voice that Sam wasn't used to hearing from his father. He felt his heart leap into his mouth and felt all the fear and nervousness he had been experiencing double in an instant. Did his father already know somehow? Was he mad?

"Hi dad," Sam answered in a tight voice a few moments later.

"Sam? Is that you?" Dwight asked sounding confused.

"Uh yeah, it's me," Sam confirmed already trying to think of an excuse so he could just hang up.

"Well hey there, buddy! I didn't recognize the number and you sound different somehow."

_Different? Like effeminate or something?_ Sam questioned in his head.

"Yeah, I'm calling from the home phone here instead of my cell phone," Sam explained.

"Ohh okay, I thought you might have been a telemarketer. I just sat down to eat dinner and you know they're famous for calling then," Dwight joked.

"Ohh uh, if you're eating we can talk later," Sam suggested feeling relieved to have a way out of this conversation.

"No, of course not. I just didn't want to listen to facts about term life insurance while my food got cold, but I've always got time for you. Besides I already fixed the kids their plates so I've got a bit. What's on your mind? How was your visit with mom? She sent me a textual message awhile ago to let me know she was on the way home."

Sam couldn't help but laugh despite his anxiety. "They're just called text messages, dad. Or really just texts. The visit was great. We had fun."

"Good to hear, I'm sorry I couldn't come too, but I had to watch the kids."

"No problem," Sam answered. Stacey had a severe problem with motion sickness so they never took her for long car trips if they could help it. That meant that only one of Sam's parents would come and visit at a time, and that he would have to travel to them when he wanted to see the whole family.

"Well next time it's my turn," Dwight continued. "And we'll go anywhere you want."

"Thanks dad," Sam answered, knowing his father meant it and practically hearing the guilt in his voice. Sam was pretty sure their situation was harder for his father than it was for his mother. Certainly she missed him just as much or maybe even more, but it hurt his father's pride that he couldn't give Sam and the rest of the family the life he wanted them to have.

"So what's new?" Dwight asked pleasantly.

Sam gaped at the phone. His mother had literally told him to wait until his father asked 'what was new' as an opening to mention Sebastian.

"Did mom tell you to ask that?" Sam inquired suspiciously.

"Um no...I thought of it on my own," Dwight answered, still trying to figure out the significance. "Why is there something new I should know about?"

"Well...I guess maybe...Uh I'm kind of..."

"Kind of what, son?" Dwight asked patiently.

"Like talking to someone new," Sam responded.

"Oh you're making new friends. Good to hear," Dwight answered, wondering what all the fuss was about.

"No, I mean romantically," Sam clarified.

"Ahh, I see. That's great, tell me all about her," Dwight prompted.

Sam was speechless for several seconds. He hated the way his father had said 'tell me all about _her,' _but he knew the comment probably wasn't designed to make his announcement more difficult. He finally sighed and decided to just go for it.

"Well, his name is Sebastian..." Sam trailed off, anxiously awaiting his father's reaction. By this point though his heart was pounding so hard that he wasn't even sure he would be able to hear his response.

Dwight pulled the phone away and looked at it quizzically, as though it would give him some hint about whether or not Sam was being serious or making some kind of weird joke. He thought it over for a few moments. Sam had certainly sounded serious...serious and frightened. Suddenly Dwight's head kicked into gear.

"Great, well tell me all about Sebastian then."

Sam blinked and then felt a flood of relief; his father didn't seem to have a problem with it. Then his stomach tightened again in a fresh wave of worry. _Wait, what if he didn't understand? He didn't even know what texts were called. What if he thinks 'Sebastian' is a girl?_

"Well uh...he's a guy," Sam said. It seemed like a pretty stupid thing to say, but he wanted to make sure all the cards were on the table now. He didn't think he could go through this again if there was any misunderstanding.

"I figured," Dwight answered, amused by the statement but trying his best to be serious. "So how did you _guys_ meet?"

Sam felt the last of his worry slip away. His dad did understand, and judging by the relaxed way he was discussing it he didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

"He's in the glee club at his school, Dalton Academy. They're our rivals in competitions," Sam explained animatedly.

"Ohh, private school boy. You bagged yourself a rich one, eh Sam?" Dwight teased.

"Well that's not why I like him," Sam answered, surprised and offended.

"Son relax, I'm just kidding," Dwight assured him. He realized Sam must have really been anxious and worked up not to realize when he was joking. "I know you wouldn't date someone for something like that."

"Sorry," Sam apologized.

"No problem, so tell me why you _do_ like him," Dwight said.

Sam spent the next few minutes giving his father the cliffnotes about Sebastian, as well as a much more innocent, heavily edited account of their relationship thus far. He was pleased with how casual and comfortable their conversation was and he realized his mom had been right all along about how his dad would react.

"So, you're really okay with this, huh?" Sam asked for confirmation when there was a brief lull in the conversation.

"Of course I am," Dwight answered. "But I'm still going to give him the 'if you hurt my son speech' when I meet him.

"Dad! Don't you dare!" Sam objected, mortified by the idea. "Besides, I'm like bigger than he is anyway, and you wouldn't do that if I was dating a girl."

"Sam, not all pain is physical," Dwight pointed out. "And actually to be honest I _was_ planning to give your next girlfriend that speech."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I'm sick of girls breaking your heart," Dwight answered seriously.

"I'm fine," Sam assured him, embarrassed by the turn the conversation had taken.

"Well, I just want you to know that I don't have a problem with anyone you date as long as they're good to you. If they're not, then we have a problem."

Sam wondered for a moment if Sebastian would pass that criteria. He'd certainly been good to Sam up until the night before when he'd abruptly thrown him out. Sam chastised himself for thinking that way. Yes, Sebastian had hurt him by doing that, but on the other hand Sebastian had literally, physically been hurt himself at the time. He must have also been just as scared and upset as Sam was. Sam reassured himself that it had just been a misunderstanding and once he could talk about it with Sebastian everything would be fine.

"Okay," Dwight said abruptly, making up his mind about something. "Now we need to have the sex talk...the revised version."

"I don't think we need to do that!" Sam insisted right away. He was still recovering the straight version of the conversation he'd gotten when he was younger. He really didn't want to hear what his dad had to say about the gay side of things.

"Yes. We do," Dwight stated firmly.

"Dad, really. I know what I'm doing. I've got it covered."

"You'd better have it covered, Sam. And Sebastian better have it covered too whenever he goes near you."

"Oh god, dad, please. Just stop talking," Sam pleaded.

"Afraid not. Okay so, condoms and lube..."

Sam was pretty sure at some point over the next twenty minutes his ears melted and his face actually caught fire from embarrassment...and still his father talked on. He did have to admit though that he took notice when his dad started talking about how 'an ass is not a vagina' and the importance of taking it slow and easy. He actually did wish he'd heard that bit of information before his encounter with Sebastian the night before.

"Now, there's just one more important thing I want you to know," Dwight said as he wrapped things up.

Sam groaned, he had been certain they were done. "What's that?" he asked tiredly.

"I love you, Sam. Don't ever forget that."

**-000-**

"Thank you," Michael whispered as he followed his brother up the staircase to the second floor of the Smythe residence.

"YOU'RE A GODDAMN IDIOT, MICHAEL!" Sebastian screamed. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Whatever, no big deal," Sebastian whispered back.

"NO! WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS YOU SHITHEAD," Michael yelled back as they reached the top of the stairs.

Quentin sighed as he sat in his study on the first floor of the home. He was in too good of a mood to be bothered by his sons' shouting match. It was sort of to be expected anyway. He just hoped Michael would leave soon without hurting his brother. They hadn't physically struck each other in years, but there was no telling what would happen given the present situation. Quentin groaned as he thought about how much it would end up costing him to Sebastian if Michael did hit him.

"It kinda was a big deal, Seb. I owe you big and I get that. Trust me, when dad finds out I'll do everything I can to leave your name out of things."

"I'm not worried about dad," Sebastian said with a shrug as they walked down the long hallway toward his room.

"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE," Sebastian shouted before continuing in a low voice. "Just make sure you're setting aside everything you can for when he does find out. You actually should be able to register for the classes he's expecting and pays for, then drop them right away and get a refund. If you only go part-time you should have money left over."

"I know, and I'm going to save all the money I get from selling my car when he gives me the new one. I HOPE YOU GET GANGRAPED YOU SON OF A BITCH."

"You better. He's probably going to keep the new car in his name, FUCKTARD." Sebastian said as he opened his bedroom door.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Michael exclaimed in response to both conversations he was having as he took in the sight of his brother's room.

Sebastian shrugged and closed the door, wishing Malinda had already cleaned up his room and cursing his father for keeping her busy preparing a fancy meal no one had eaten anyway.

"If you want to do me a favor, just ignore this," Sebastian instructed as he took a seat on his disheveled bed.

Michael looked at him curiously. Sebastian had called him while he was on the road from Columbus to tip him off about their father's plan and fill him in on his own counter-plan. Their discussion had more than occupied all of his attention and all of his thoughts once they hung up. It hadn't occurred to him that anything was wrong with Sebastian, but now that he was looking at him more carefully, especially in the context of this room, it was obvious that he was upset about something beyond just their father's evil scheming.

"FORGET IT DOUCHEBAG, I'm not ignoring this. What's the deal?"

Sebastian glared at his brother. "I SAID SHUT UP, ASSHOLE! I'm not discussing this. Now listen dad is going to want to see report cards too, which you're going to print out and mail to him."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Michael demanded.

Sebastian laughed. "Yeah, you're going to mail them to him. _After_ the guy who does my fake IDs doctors them to show your hypothetical classes and grades. I already checked with him, he's good at university documents. Lots of college kids do it to fake out controlling parents."

"OH NICE IDEA COCKSUCKER," Michael sneered sarcastically. "Awesome, thanks. Anyway what hap-"

"FUCK YOU!" Sebastian cut him off before quickly continuing to prevent his brother from asking anymore private questions. "I already emailed you the recording."

"Can I hear it now?" Michael asked knowing he should probably wait until he got home but unable to control his curiosity.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE BIGGEST MORON ON THE PLANET, but fine if you want. Go lock the door."

Michael did as instructed and then watched as Sebastian pulled out his phone and opened the recording. A few moments later their father's clear voice filled the air.

"_If he doesn't cooperate I'm going to take Anna away from him," _Quentin's voice was saying.

"_But how are you going to do that?"_ Sebastian's voice prompted.

"_Geez, I told you I'm going to hire someone to wait until he's out and then hide drugs in his apartment. Even if he realizes someone was there, which if my guy is good he won't, he won't be able to find them. Then I tip off Child Services."_

"_I see. Then when you sue for custody, you, me, and Vanessa all say he has a drug problem and that...wait what was it?" _Sebastian's voice asked.

"_Are you kidding me? It's not that complicated, pay attention. All we do is testify that he also has an alcohol problem and that we've all seen him getting into to the car with Anna and drinking and driving. Sometimes without even buckling her into her car seat." _Quentin's voice said.

"_So you, a lawyer, want us to lie under oath?_" Sebastian's voice clarified sarcastically. Michael could just imagine the smirk that Sebastian had been giving him as he said it.

"_Yes, Sebastian, I want you to _gasp_ lie under oath," _Quentin's voice confirmed just as sarcastically as his son's. "_Look, I know you don't want to and I hope it doesn't come to that, but it's for their own good."_

Sebastian tossed his phone on the bed as the recording ended.

"Wow that's awesome!" Michael exclaimed. "No way will he go ahead with his plans if we threaten to play that in court. He'd get disbarred for sure. I can't believe he fell for that."

Sebastian shrugged. "Never saw it coming. I think he just thought I was being difficult and giving him a hard time by making him go through it all again."

Sebastian frowned as he thought about the way Santana had used a similar tactic to get him to confess to what he had done to Blaine with the slushie and the rock salt. His brother certainly didn't need to know what his source of inspiration had been.

Michael knew that if and when this did come to light, Sebastian would be burning a pretty big bridge with their father. Theoretically he could scam his dad for several years. Perhaps Sebastian's forger could even falsify LSATs results somehow, or maybe he would take them anyway just for the hell of it. Either way he knew he needed to keep the lie going as long as possible, not only so that he could get as much money from their father as possible, but also hopefully so that Sebastian would be well into college and as independent as possible.

Michael gritted his teeth, knowing what he needed to say. "You're a good brother, Sebastian. Thank you."

"Oh fuck you," Sebastian answered. "It wasn't much of a decision. Between you or dad, you're obviously the lesser of two evils. Besides, I still get a nice vacation out of it on dad, so it's not like it was a big sacrifice."

Michael smirked at his brother and shook his head. He was so relieved that Anna was safe and that he even got to finally lead his own life without his father's constant meddling that he actually felt like hugging Sebastian, but he knew that wouldn't go over very well. Instead he returned his attention to whatever was bothering him. It wouldn't be much in the way of pay back, but he was more than willing to do anything he could to help.

"So what happened here?" Michael asked as he lifted the shoe off of Sebastian's dresser and held it with one hand as he started righting some of the overturned objects with his free hand.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it," Sebastian answered as he got off the bed, crossed the room, and pulled Sam's sneaker away from his brother.

This time since Michael was studying him more carefully he noticed that Sebastian wasn't quite walking normally. His eyes snapped to the discarded sheets in the corner. Why had Sebastian needed to take them off the bed?

"Come on, you'll feel better," Michael prompted as he laid a hand on Sebastian's shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.

"Christ! Michael I get it. You're grateful I helped you out. _You're welcome._ That doesn't mean we need to have some saccharine-filled, Oprah moment."

Michael didn't say anything, just turned and walked to the corner of the room where the pile of bedding was bunched into a pile.

"Stop it, What are you doing?!" Sebastian exclaimed as he dropped the shoe and rushed to where his brother now stood sifting through the sheets. He grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away, but he knew it was too late as soon as Michael uncovered the first red stain.

"Blood. And you're limping," Michael accused.

"I am not! I'm gay; we walk funny. Quit being homophobic."

"Seb, what the fuck happened?!" Michael demanded as he grabbed his brother's arms and forced him to look at him. When he noticed the look in Sebastian's eyes he asked again in a more gentle voice. "What happened?"

"It's no big deal," Sebastian insisted, trying unsuccessfully to avoid his brother's eyes. "Just some rough sex is all. I'm sure you don't want details."

"And during the sex, shoes got thrown and mirrors got smashed?"

Sebastian shrugged again. "Yeah it was epic. Sex isn't good if at least one piece of furniture doesn't end up broken."

"You got hurt." It was a statement, not a question. "_You_ threw the shoes and smashed the mirror. Because you were hurt and pissed off."

"Well I guess we can call that a working theory," Sebastian conceded in a quiet voice as he felt his eyes starting sting. No way was he going to cry about this though. He quickly clenched his fists and set his jaw. He was embarrassed and felt angry all over again. This was all Sam's fault. Sam had done this to him. Sam was responsible for this scene he was having. Sam had hurt him. Sam had embarrassed him. Sam had fucked him and left him bleeding on his bathroom floor. Sam fucking Evans!

"Who did this Seb?" Michael asked softly as he led Sebastian back across the room to the bed.

_Who did this?_ It was a simple question. It wouldn't have taken any effort at all to answer. The stupid blond jock's name was already practically tattooed on his tongue, burned into brain. He couldn't forget his idiotic grin, or his guitar-callused hand. He couldn't forget the way Sam's chest felt pressed against his back as he taught him to sweep. Since Sam's name was on a continuous loop in Sebastian's head anyway. Why not speak the name? Why not let his brother know who was responsible?

Images of Sean Meunier flashed across Sebastian's mind. Not good-looking and cocky the way he usually looked. No, instead Sebastian remembered the way he had looked that Monday morning when Sebastian had returned to school after his _second_ ever sexual encounter. Fucking Matt really had made Sean feel less significant by comparison, but Sebastian hadn't truly been over him - not yet - not until he saw his face that day. Not until he saw his two swollen black eyes, his bruised jaw, his bloody, scabbed-over arms. Sean looked awful, repulsive. He was just as ugly on the outside as Sebastian knew he was on the inside. And as soon as Sean saw Sebastian, unhidden fear crossed his face and he scurried away as quickly as he could. It was so satisfying, so _healing. _

"Who hurt you, Seb?" Michael asked again as he sat on the bed with his brother and gently rubbed his back. "I swear to god he'll never fucking do it again."

Sebastian looked over at his brother and allowed a small, sad smile to form on his lips. He had never asked what had happened to Sean. He had never needed to. He had just been grateful. For that brief moment as he watched Sean hobble away he had felt truly vindicated, powerful. It was such a wonderful feeling. It was also the moment he knew that he really could trust Michael. His brother may have been a perpetual jerk to him, but beating the fuck out of Sean Meunier was proof that he cared. Sebastian wanted to feel cared about. He wanted to get over Sam the way he had gotten over Sean.

"His name is Sam Evans."

**-000-**

**End Note: Sorry everyone, I just couldn't resist the evil cliffhanger. **

**I hope you guys enjoyed the closer look at their families. I know it wasn't to everyone's taste and the good news is that the next chapter is definitely going to feature some solid Sam/Seb interaction. **

**What did you guys think of Sam's coming out to his dad? I had a lot of fun with that scene, more so than the ones with him mom in fact. I considered _not _making Sam's parents incredibly supportive of his sexuality, because it could have made for some interesting drama and it would have been a fresh change from the route I took in my other story "Making It Work." Ultimately thought I just couldn't do it. To me everything we've seen of Sam and his family on Glee, and all the comments he's made about them, seem to indicate that he has a really solid, positive relationship with his parents and siblings. Also it just doesn't seem to fit for Sam to come from a homophobic background considering how non-homophobic he's always been on the show. **

**So what did you guys think of Quentin's plan? I hope the fact that Sebastian and Michael had a counter-plan of their own in place was a nice surprise twist that fit. LOL, I had fun with their fake insult yelling conversation too. I hope the all caps didn't get too annoying.**

**Anyway, feedback is greatly appreciated (and may or may not affect how quickly I get out the next chapter *evil smirk*). Thanks so much to everyone who commented on the last one! You guys are the best!  
**


	10. Chapter 10: Therapy

**What I Want**

**A/N: I wasn't planning to post this until the weekend, and I originally planned it to be a bit longer, but I think here is a good stopping point. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Chapter 10 – Therapy**

_****Then****_

"I don't wanna go in!" Sebastian whined as he crossed his arms and refused to step out of the elevator.

"Sebastian, we are _not_ having this conversation again," Quentin Smythe assured his nine-year-old son in a low, firm voice. "Come out, _now_."

"No!" Sebastian refused as he shot a petulant glare at his father and then pressed the 'door close' button in the elevator. His thirteen-year-old brother, Michael, quickly shot his arm between the doors stopping them from closing.

"Quit being a butthead," Michael chastised as he grabbed his brother by the front of the shirt and yanked him out of the elevator.

"I hate you!" Sebastian yelled into his brother's face, trying in vain to pull away from the stronger boy. "I hate you both!" he added with another scowl at his father when the man grabbed him by the arm and helped his older son pull Sebastian down the hallway and into the waiting room.

Quentin Smythe sighed and frowned. It had been nearly three months since Carolyn, his wife and the boys' mother, had passed away and he felt like he was at the end of his rope. Still grieving the loss of his wife, he had practically no idea how to even begin to be a primary caregiver to his sons, let alone help them through their own misery. His psychiatrist, Dr. Rowe, had recommended bringing the boys in for a group session and said that depending on the outcome perhaps they should then be referred to a child specialist. He was certainly desperate enough to try anything by this point. Unfortunately as he anticipated, the idea was met with resistance. Quentin's only surprise was that it had been Sebastian rather than Michael who had resisted the idea. Michael had uncharacteristically gone along with the idea quietly rather than joining his brother in open rebellion.

"Sit here and don't you dare get up," Quentin ordered Sebastian as he took the boys to their seats. He gave Michael a look, silently asking him to watch his brother, before making his way to the receptionist's desk to fill out the necessary paperwork.

Michael sighed as his father walked away. He was sick of dealing with his little brother's obnoxious attitude and he was starting to hate his father all the more for always pawning Sebastian off on him.

"I need to pee," Sebastian announced a few seconds after their father had left. Michael didn't say anything, just picked up an issue of Sports Illustrated and started thumbing through it.

"Miiiike, I need to pee!" Sebastian whined more insistently as he shifted around in his seat. In actuality he _didn't_ need to use the restroom, he just didn't like being ignored by his brother and wanted to spite his father for ordering him to stay in his seat.

"Shut up, Seb," Michael snapped with a hostile glare as he finally looked up from his magazine.

"Fine! I'm going by myself," Sebastian declared a moment later. He had barely gotten to his feet before Michael had grabbed his wrist and yanked him backward, causing him to fall back into his chair.

"Shut up and sit down," Michael ordered calmly as he kept his grip on Sebastian's wrist.

"But I have to pee. You _have_ to take me, or let me go."

"I don't have to do shit," Michael retorted.

"I'm telling dad you said the S word," Sebastian declared gleefully.

"Fine, tell him. I don't care, but you're not getting up." To prove his point Michael trapped his brother's wrist between the arm of the chair and his own hand and squeezed tightly.

"That hurts!" Sebastian shouted. He was pleased when the other people in the room started looking in their direction. "I'm gonna yell."

"Good, then dad can deal with you," Michael answered as he went back to looking at his magazine, holding it in his free hand.

"Mom would have taken me to the bathroom," Sebastian whined.

Michael felt a pain in his gut as he heard the words and he immediately turned a furious look on his brother, a retort already on his lips.

"Mom lo..." _Mom loved you. Dad and I don't. Get used to it._ That's how Michael's comeback would have gone. Instead he took a deep breath through clenched teeth and bit back the comment. "If you don't shut up right now I'm going to break your arm," he threatened in a low voice before slowly tightening his grip more and more and continuing to stare Sebastian down.

Sebastian's eyes went wide as he felt the pressure on his arm continuing to increase. His heart started to race as he began to think his brother really would do it. The child wasted no time in nodding and making of show of keeping his lips pressed together.

"I just don't know how to deal with them, doc," Quentin was whispering to Dr. Rowe as they stood at the entrance to the waiting room, chatting before going to get the kids for the family session.

"They have to know you're in charge, but that you love them and you're there for them," Dr. Rowe answered. "Especially while they're dealing with the loss of their mother."

"We're all dealing with it," Quentin responded in frustration. "At least they can cry about it and get sympathy. What am I supposed to do?"

"You can cry about it too," Dr. Rowe pointed out.

"No I can't," Quentin snapped. "You just said they have to know I'm in charge. Watching me cry isn't really going to accomplish that."

"Crying doesn't make you weak."

"It will in the eyes of my sons," Quentin answered. "And I know they're just kids but they're like wolves when they smell weakness, especially Michael. He's driven off four nannies already. They can't control him, and honestly neither can I. I have no idea how Carolyn used to handle him. He just does whatever the hell he wants now. Meanwhile Sebastian is just getting brattier by the day."

"You're all going to get through this together," Dr. Rowe assured him.

Quentin sighed and smiled grimly as he joked, "Or I could just send them both to boarding schools and let someone else deal with them."

**-000-**

_****Now****_

Sam shivered as he felt goosebumps rise on his arms and neck. He tried to convince himself that it was simply from the cold, that he wasn't scared, that the two large figures casting shadows across the concrete pavement simply happened to be going in the same direction that he was. His inner monologue would have been much more convincing, however, if he hadn't clearly heard a voice say, 'That's him. Let's do this,' before the shadows had started tailing him.

Sam risked another backward glance, silently praying that he would see two normal looking people casually chatting to each other and paying him no attention. No such luck. He briefly made eye contact with one of the guys, a tall, heavyset white guy who looked like someone who would have been a lineman on the McKinley High football team. The possible lineman gave him a hybrid sneer-smile that made Sam's stomach quiver.

"Your ass is ours," the large guy said with a malicious grin.

"And we're not going to stop until we're satisfied," the smaller of the two teens added with a hostile smirk of his own. He was well-built, and wiry looking. He reminded Sam of one of the guys on his swim team. Sam was certain that he could have taken this boy alone, but with his larger, bulkier friend also in the mix he knew his odds weren't good.

Sam quickly cast his eyes all around the area, desperate to find either an escape route or at least someone who could help him. That was when he noticed an expensive, and oddly familiar-looking car parked about a hundred feet away. Leaning against the car was a tall, attractive young man. Sam felt a wave of relief as he recognized him.

"Sebastian, help!" Sam shouted as he decided to make a break for it, hoping he could outrun the two mysterious strangers who seemed to mean him harm. As he ran toward the car he shouted, "They're after me! We've gotta get out of here!"

If he could just get to the car he and Sebastian could drive away. Unfortunately to his dismay as he ran toward him, Sebastian turned and began calmly walking in Sam's direction. That wouldn't do at all. Sebastian needed to get in the car and get it started so that they could make a fast getaway. That was when Sam noticed something quite odd about Sebastian.

"Sebastian...Oh my god you're not-" Sam felt a wave of shock at the unexpected discovery, but he didn't have time to ponder it as a tackle from behind brought him crashing to the ground.

"Gotcha!" The bulky guy declared as he began scrabbling up Sam's body, pinning him down with his considerable mass.

"Get off me!" Sam shouted as he tried to push the heavy teen away. His futile efforts resulted in nothing but laughter as the guy's scrappy companion approached from the other side. Once the lean boy had reached them the heavyset one, moved back down Sam's body enough to allow his friend access to Sam's upper half. Sam was surprised and confused as the well-built guy begin yanking on the hem of Sam's shirt, trying to pry it off the struggling blond's torso. To Sam's horror just as his upper body attacker had succeeded in tangling the shirt around his head, Sam felt the larger guy's stubby fingers hook into the waistband of his underwear, clearly trying to pull it and Sam's jeans off all together. Sam felt a wave a panic and nausea strike him as he realized what the planned to do.

"I told you your ass was going to be ours," the stocky teen jeered as his fingers released Sam's briefs long enough to make quick work of the fly of his jeans. He immediately relaunched his assault on Sam's waistband once his pants were open.

Sam kicked wildly, hoping to land a blow on his attacker, but with the other boy still holding the shirt around his face he was blind and couldn't aim his defensive strikes with any accuracy.

"Yeah, that's right. Spread those legs for me," the guy taunted as he finally succeeded in pulling Sam's pants and briefs down his thrashing hips. Meanwhile the other guy pulled the shirt off of Sam's head, exposing him completely.

"Oh god, Sebastian, help me!" Sam cried out as he realized he was now fully naked and completely helpless. He had a sick feeling he knew what was coming and it was so horrible it was almost inconceivable to Sam.

"Fuck off, assholes!" Sebastian shouted as he finally reached the struggling trio.

Sam watched in amazement as Sebastian, equally naked, slammed his hard cock down over the larger guy's head, using his manhood as a kind of makeshift club.

"Mmm, that's hot! Your friend can play too," the well-built guy declared as he reached down between Sam's legs and began fondling him.

"Don't touch him!" Sebastian snapped as he swung his dick around and landed a crippling blow to the side of the second guy's head.

"Oh thank god!" Sam exclaimed in relief. "I didn't know your dick could do that, Seb."

"My dick can do a lot of things, Sam," Sebastian answered as he leaned down and pressed a heated kiss to the blond's lips. The kiss quickly escalated into frenzied making out as Sebastian lowered himself to the ground, pressing his bare skin against Sam's and thrusting his cock against the athlete's hard, toned abdomen. Soon Sam's fingers had found their way around Sebastian's erection.

"Aw fuck, it's _so_ big and hard," Sam moaned between breaths as he gripped the instrument of his salvation.

"Your ass is _mine,_ Sam. Only mine," Sebastian purred into Sam's ear as he nipped at the delicate lobe. "Do you want to find out what else my dick can do?"

"Oh god, YES!" Sam answered as his fingers continued dancing across Sebastian's hard shaft. Before he even realized what he was doing he had guided the throbbing organ down between his legs and up against his entrance.

"I want you, Sam. I want to fuck you all night," Sebastian whispered as he pressed himself tantalizingly against Sam's tight hole.

"Do it! Fuck me, Seb. Fuck me good," Sam pleaded as he looked up at the attractive singer.

"Come find me then," Sebastian ordered with his trademark smirk before disappearing into thin air.

Sam groaned as his eyes shot open and he realized that he was alone in the dark of his room. "Crud!" he whisper-snapped, as he cursed himself for waking up when he had. It was by no means his first sex dream about Sebastian, but it was the first one since they'd actually had sex. It was also the first time he'd dreamed about Sebastian fucking him rather than the other way around. He was further intrigued by the fact that his unwanted and completely horrifying near-rape nightmare had morphed so abruptly into what had almost become a very hot, very welcome wet dream.

Sam sighed and pulled the covers back, unsurprised to see the straining, wet tent in his pajama bottoms. Sam pried himself loose from his cotton confines and languidly stroked himself a few times, coaxing several more beads of precum from his sensitive tip in the process. He lightly chewed his lip as he considered what he wanted to do, wondering if it was gross. Unable to resist, he pinched the sticky substance off his cockhead and raised it to his mouth, sucking it off his fingers and pretending the treat had come from Sebastian rather than from his own equipment.

Sam's eyes fluttered closed again as he focused on his fantasy, expanding it more fully. As his hand found its way back to his throbbing erection, he focused on the way Sebastian had looked in his dream. He remembered the way his naked, toned body had been pressed above him. He thought about how hard Sebastian had seemed in his dream. The way he had practically tasted Sebastian on his mouth. He imagined the satisfying pressure that would have been pressing into him. His fantasy Sebastian sealed his mouth over Sam's and buried himself hilt deep just as the blond exploded all over his chest and stomach.

"Whoaa," Sam moaned to himself. He had been so close that he knew his brief session hadn't lasted more than thirty or forty seconds, but they had been _very _good seconds, and the end result had made him more than glad that he hadn't slept through it.

Sam shimmied the rest of his way out of his pajamas bottoms and quickly wiped himself up. He was way too sleepy to get out of bed and clean up any further and it seemed like the sticky fabric had barely hit the floor before he was out again, satisfied and happy.

**-000-**

"I bet that was a relief," Dr. Johnson commented as her patient finished telling her about the events of his weekend.

"Well yeah, I'm sure it was," Sebastian answered as he rolled his eyes. He had been regularly attending therapy for several years now, ever since his mother had died. His father had thought it was a good idea for himself, Sebastian, and Michael to talk to someone about their situation, and the habit had stuck for all three of them. Of course they all saw different therapists, and of course they had all gone through several different doctors considering how often they had moved, but nevertheless regular sessions with a trained therapist had become a constant in Sebastian's life. Despite that he still found it absurd the way they had a tendency to point out, or ask about, obvious things. Of course Michael was relieved that their father's plan had failed. How the hell else would he feel?

"Why do you suppose you helped him?" Dr. Johnson inquired when Sebastian had been silent for a few seconds.

"So that I would have an interesting story to tell you on Monday," Sebastian responded.

"I thought you preferred to act in ways that were beneficial to you?" Dr. Johnson prompted, ignoring his sarcasm.

Sebastian shrugged. "I do."

"But this wasn't in your own self interest. When your father finds out what happened there could be serious ramifications and in the meantime you don't directly benefit from helping your brother and niece. Why do you think you acted in a way that you yourself might describe as out of character?"

"I guess I must really be growing as a human being," Sebastian answered, wide-eyed and overly dramatic.

"Yes, I think so too," Dr. Johnson answered kindly.

"It's a good thing I was able to pull it off using deception and treachery or I might never have gotten around to it," Sebastian commented.

"Always play to your strengths," Dr. Johnson agreed with a straight-faced nod.

Sebastian barked out an involuntary laugh, pleasantly caught off guard by the psychologist's remark. In the months since he'd started seeing her Dr. Johnson was turning out to be one of his favorite therapists so far.

"So now that he's free of dad you'll never guess what he wants to be," Sebastian said as he continued their conversation.

"A country and western singer," Dr. Johnson guessed, pulling an occupation out of the air and wondering if Michael did have any of the same musical talent his brother exhibited.

"A paralegal," Sebastian revealed with a smirk. "A fucking paralegal! That's his big dream."

"There's nothing wrong with being a paralegal," Dr. Johnson commented.

"Dad wanted him to be a lawyer. We did all this shit and now he's just going to become a paralegal. What the hell? That's like saying, 'no thanks, I don't want to be an Olympic gold medalist. I'm a bronze kinda guy.'"

"So you disapprove of his choice?"

Sebastian shrugged again. "I don't give a shit. It's his call. I just think it's absurd."

"He told you this after he threatened to hurt Sam?" Dr. Johnson clarified, using the opportunity to direct the conversation into different territory.

Sebastian cocked a suspicious eyebrow at the doctor but answered anyway. "Yes."

"But you stopped him. You told him not to hurt Sam, even though you wanted him to?" Dr. Johnson pressed.

Sebastian frowned. He had known that she was going to push this issue. "Yeah," he answered quietly looking past her at the wall.

"Why do you think that is?" Sebastian and Dr. Johnson asked in unison, Sebastian posing his question in a sarcastic imitation of her voice.

Dr. Johnson smiled and gestured toward Sebastian. "Why _do_ you think that is."

"I don't know," Sebastian answered with another dismissive shrug.

"That's not like you, Sebastian. You always analyze people's actions and motivations, even your own. You must have a theory."

"Well I _guess_ I didn't really want Michael to hurt Sam after all," Sebastian said sharply, glaring at the therapist.

"But Sam hurt you. Why wouldn't you want to get even?"

Sebastian scowled at her. He knew what she was doing, but he decided to play along anyway. "Because it wasn't _really_ his fault."

"I guess it wasn't," Dr. Johnson agreed with another nod.

"Yeah, I made him hurt me and I still don't get to hate him. Not one of my finer plans," Sebastian said bitterly.

"You should have known better," Dr. Johnson commented.

"Gee thanks," Sebastian snapped. "I hated Sean after he hurt me. I should have hated Sam too. It was logical."

"But didn't you still want to be with Sean after he hurt you?"

"Well what did I know back then? I was just a stupid kid. Anyway, I got over him after Michael beat the hell out of him. I should have just let him do it to Sam too."

"Why didn't you?"

Sebastian crossed his arms and stared daggers at the woman. "Because I like Sam. He isn't an asshole like Sean was."

"But you still wanted to be with Sean after he hurt you. And yet you don't want to be with Sam, do you?"

"No, I don't," Sebastian confirmed right away.

"Why not?"

Sebastian sighed and repeated his previous answer. "Because I like Sam. He isn't an asshole like Sean was."

"You'd rather date someone you don't actually care about," Dr. Johnson summarized.

"I've never dated anyone I _do_ actually care about," Sebastian said as he balled his hands into frustrated fists. "I don't know what the hell to do with Sam. I don't need this. Besides it's not like I'm Grade A boyfriend material."

"So you think he deserves better?" Dr. Johnson inquired with raised eyebrows.

"No. I think _I_ deserve better. I shouldn't have to deal with his emotions and stuff. That's his responsibility, not mine. I shouldn't feel..." Sebastian trailed off as he remembered the look of shock and hurt in Sam's eyes the last time he had seen him. He felt another wave of something completely unfamiliar: _guilt._ He hated it; he hated Sam even more for making him feel it. "I don't want to feel any of this."

"But that's how relationships work, Sebastian," Dr. Johnson said softly as she leaned forward and caught his eyes with her own. "Sometimes people make each other feel things they don't necessarily like, but that's ultimately okay."

"I know that," Sebastian said with a bitter laugh. "And I _don't_ want that. That's why I intentionally don't date people I might end up giving a shit about."

Dr. Johnson smiled and gave a shrug of her own. "The best laid plans..."

**-000-**

"Ms. Pillsbury, you have a minute?"

Emma looked up from the pamphlet order form she was filling out and smiled as she took in the sight of the blond jock standing in her doorway. "Sure, Sam. Please come in."

Sam stepped into the room and then hesitently turned and closed the door behind himself. He decided he didn't want anyone overhearing what he had to say.

"Is everything alright?" Emma asked with concern etched across her face as she noticed how anxious the teen looked and the way he had immediately shut the door.

"I uh, have a problem," Sam answered as he sank into one of the chairs across from her desk.

"Well what is it? Maybe I can help."

"There's this person I like," Sam started.

"Ohh, I'm sorry to hear that, Sam," Emma said sympathetically. She was well aware of the boy's numerous romantic mishaps since he had been coming to McKinley High.

"I haven't actually told you the problem yet," Sam pointed out, confused.

"I'm sorry, please continue," Emma said patiently.

"Well, see this person I like isn't...well isn't my usual type," Sam fumbled, uncertain how to preface what he wanted to say.

"Oh good!" Emma declared hopefully.

"It's a guy," Sam blurted out, deciding it was best to get right to the point.

Emma's eyes went wider than usual and her mouth opened slightly in surprise. A few moments later she recovered and spoke. "That certainly does break your usual pattern."

"Yeah, and I'm okay with it. I really am. I mean it was weird at first, but now it doesn't seem like as big a deal. The problem is I know no one is going to accept it, and I've also already kinda...messed it up."

"Coming out is tough," Emma said with a nod as she started rummaging through her desk.

"Yeah, I guess...but um especially in this case."

"Because you're an athlete and you're also in that Christian club," Emma supplied with another nod as she found what she was looking for and held it out to Sam. "Here I think I have just the thing for you."

Sam took the pamphlet and looked at it curiously. "_So You're a Closet Case,_" he read out loud.

"Yes, I got that awhile back for Santana. It looks like it fits your situation too," Emma explained, pleased that she had found another use for the pamphlets and grateful that she had decided to go with the more generic 'closet case' for the title instead of the phrase 'angry dyke' like she had originally planned.

"Uh, Ms. Pillsbury, that's not really the problem. It's more to do with him."

"Ohh, then give him this," Emma answered cheerfully as she passed Sam the companion piece.

"_So You're Dating a Closet Case,_" Sam read aloud before a look of confusion crossed his face. "Wait, was this originally supposed to be for Brittany or was it for me from when I was dating Santana?"

"That one was Brittany's. I did order you a set called 'So Your Ex-Girlfriend Used You and Then Dumped You For Someone Else,' but you transferred schools and then I ran out of those like two days after they came in...I can order another batch if you still have issues to work through though."

"I think I'm okay," Sam answered. "Anyway, the problem isn't that I'm scared to come out...I mean I kinda am, but I think I could do it. It's more that this _particular_ guy isn't someone the other Glee Club members would approve of."

"Is it Dave Karofsky? I heard he was always fixated on you."

"No it's...wait a minute, Karofsky was fixated on me? Never mind," Sam said as he shook his head and pushed the confusing information aside, trying to focus on his main point. "It's Sebastian Smythe from Dalton Academy."

"Oh the boy who tried to blind Kurt but hit Blaine instead during Michael Week. Yes, I can see how that could put you in a difficult situation. Especially since you're living with Kurt.

"You're really well-informed about school gossip," Sam commented.

"Will keeps me in the loop," Emma answered with a smile. "Are you sure this is the boy you want to date, Sam? He sounds...well somewhat evil. You know, I hear Dave Karofsky's been a lot nicer since his suicide attempt, and you guys would have football in common. Maybe you should look him up."

Sam shook his head adamantly. "I don't have any interest in Karofsky, and Sebastian really isn't evil. He's actually a nice person when you get to know him."

"Well Sam, all that matters here is how you feel about him, and you seem to have your mind made up. I'm sure you can stand your ground when you tell the others."

"You're going to make a pamphlet about this aren't you?" Sam asked knowingly as he watched the wheels turning in her head.

"Yes, probably," Emma admitted as she grabbed her pen and jotted down some notes for '_So Your Boyfriend is a Sociopath. Now What?'_

"I'm just kind of worried about the sex," Sam said awkwardly as he introduced his second concern.

Emma's eyes went wide again in alarm. "Oh Sam, there's no reason to rush into that. In fact I've been thinking of re-forming the Celibacy Club, why don't you take part in that?"

"Oh, uh...we already had sex," Sam clarified.

Emma's face went white and she began to look like a deer caught in a pair of very rapidly approaching headlights.

"I'm worried about the...well the effects I guess. Or the aftermath. Mostly for him. I'm fine, but I think he might have gotten hurt and I've just been so worried. I don't know what to do." Sam knew he was babbling but he felt like everything had come spilling out at once now that he was finally talking to someone about his main concern.

Emma took a steadying breath and tried to figure out what to say. "Well Sam, I have to admit this is a little outside of my area of expertise. I think I might have Holly Holliday's business card in here somewhere. Maybe you should give her a call." Emma began frantically flipping through her Rolodex, desperate to find what she was looking for.

"Thanks anyway, Ms. Pillsbury. I think I'm just going to go," Sam said as he stood up, feeling uncomfortable with his confession and the embarrassment it had caused his guidance councilor.

"Sam," Emma said decisively as she managed to suppress her discomfort about sex and focus on the bigger picture.

"Yes?" Sam asked as he paused on his way to the door and turned back around.

"I don't know a lot about gay sex, but I do know that when it comes to relationships, any kind of relationship, communication is vital. You should talk to Sebastian about your concerns."

Sam nodded and made up his mind to do just that.

**-000-**

"Yes, may I help you?" Malinda inquired politely as she answered the Smythes' front door.

Sam staggered back slightly, surprised to see this unfamiliar woman. For some reason he had assumed Sebastian or his father would answer the door. Now that he thought about it he realized it was more logical that their servant would be the one to do it.

"I'd like to see Sebastian please, ma'am," Sam answered. A few moments later when it occurred to him that he probably ought to identify himself he quickly added, "this is Sam Evans."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Evans, but Sebastian stays at his school's dormitories during the week," Malinda responded.

"Oh darn, I forgot!" Sam said as he mentally cursed himself. He knew that Sebastian stayed on campus during the week, but he had only ever been to Sebastian's house and so that had been his automatic destination when he set out to find Sebastian after he got off school. He realized to his disappointment that he didn't actually know the name of Sebastian's dorm, much less what room number he was in. In fact as he thought about it more he realized that he wasn't even completely sure how to get to Dalton Academy. "Could you give me his dorm and room number please?"

Malinda considered Sam's words as she examined him with a more appraising eye. She knew that there were typically only three types of guys that Sebastian dated: closeted jocks, flamboyant twinks, or gay guys cheating on their boyfriends. Sam obviously wasn't a flamboyant twink, so that left closeted jock or cheating gay. She couldn't definitively tell which one Sam was but she suspected closeted jock. Either way she knew better than to divulge personal information about the household's family members without first checking with Mr. Smythe.

"Please come in, sir," She said as she stepped back to make room for him. "I'll get someone who can help you with your request."

"Oh uh, that's okay. I think maybe a friend of mine knows," Sam answered as he realized how uncomfortable he would feel in Sebastian's house without the boy in question actually being there. He would just have to figure out some reasonable excuse to give Blaine to pump him for information.

"Please, I insist. It'll only take a moment," Malinda responded as she ushered Sam in. She had let callers leave in the past without finding out everything she could about them and then in turn received a lot of heat for it later. It would be much better to let Mr. Smythe conduct his own interview.

Sam stood anxiously in the atrium as he waited for the maid to return. He couldn't help but to be struck by how different the house felt now versus the previous two times he had been here. The first time he had arrived with Sebastian and for that reason alone felt as though he had every right to be there. The second time he had entered in the midst of a party, and though it was overwhelming there had been a lively, welcoming quality to the estate. Now that he stood in the large, silent front hall in the middle of the day, completely alone and knowing that he had messed up and hurt Sebastian, he felt like he might as well have been standing in a court room waiting to be sentenced.

A few minutes later Malinda returned wearing an unreadable expression. "Please follow me," she said simply as she caught Sam's attention and then promptly turned around and proceeded to lead him back down a long corridor. At the end of the hallway was a large set of double doors, one of which stood partially ajar. The maid knocked gently on the open door and waited to be acknowledged.

"Come in," Quentin called in a deep, commanding voice that somehow managed to make Sam feel even more nervous than he already had. To Sam's dismay Malinda merely stepped aside and motioned for Sam to proceed. He would have to face the man alone.

"Hi," Sam said in his best approximation of a friendly, calm tone of voice. He doubted it was going to fool anyone.

"Close the door and sit down," Quentin said sternly. Sam did as he was instructed and remained silent as perched on what looked like it should have been a very comfortable leather chair; somehow it wasn't.

"What brings you here, Mr..." Quentin waited for the teen to supply his name even though he was well-aware that the boy was called Sam Evans, having only just been told by his maid.

"Sam."

"Mr. Sam?" Quentin said sceptically as he watched the blond fidget in his seat.

"Well, uh, just Sam. Or Sam Evans. I guess you can call me Mr. Evans if you want," Sam offered, trying to be easy-going about it. When Quentin arched an eyebrow at him he quickly tried again. "Sam's fine."

"So 'Mr. Sam' what brings you to my home?" Quentin asked in a tone that could have frozen water.

"I came to see Sebastian...Uh I mean 'Mr. Smythe'," Sam tried thinking that perhaps the man would appreciate the extra formality.

"I'm Mr. Smythe," Quentin stated as he continued regarding Sam with the same withering glare.

"Well not you Mr. Smythe, the other Mr. Smythe. You know Sebastian Smythe."

"Yes, I've met him," Quentin said dryly. "Actually, I was under the impression that the you and my son were on a first name basis."

Sam frowned and felt his stomach tense up. It seemed like nothing he said pleased the man. "May I please have his dorm information, sir? I'd like to pay him a visit."

"No," Quentin stated. He watched with satisfaction as a look of surprise and disappointment contorted Sam's face. "Look, young man, I have no desire to hear the details of what you did to my son, but I do know based on his bedroom the next day that you hurt him. As such I have no intention of allowing you anywhere near him."

Sam's tenuous composure crumbled completely and he felt torn between breaking down completely and running out of the room, or trying to defend himself. As he thought about how rudely polite the man had been and felt his own anger rising, he settled on the latter course of action and resolved to stand up for himself.

"Look, Mr. Smythe, I don't know what happened to Sebastian's room or what you think I did to it, but I admit that when it comes to Sebastian himself I might not have done everything just right. That was an accident and I didn't really know what I was doing. I'm here to _apologize_ to him. I care about Sebastian and whether you give me his room information or not I _am_ going to give him that apology and tell him that I care."

Quentin picked up a stack of papers and straightened it against his desk, using the momentary activity as a chance to consider his next move. It was a subconscious habit he had picked up from years in the court room. Finally he set the papers down and gave Sam the full weight of his gaze again. "What are your intentions with my son?"

Sam hesitated for just a instant before looking the man squarely in the eye and responding. "I want to be his boyfriend."

Quentin laughed out loud in response, startling Sam and then filling him with barely contained rage. Clearly Sebastian's father must have thought he wasn't good enough to date his son. That was it; Sam had had it. He was done with attempts to reason and be diplomatic, he opened his mouth to let Quentin know just what he thought of him.

The attorney held up his hand before Sam could speak and successfully silenced him with another hard glare. He only wished he still had this level of control over his own boys. "Listen to me, Sam, you actually seem like a much nicer person than Sebastian's usual 'suitors'." Somehow Quentin was able to convey the quotation marks around the word without resorting to the prosaic gesture that many people made during conversation. "That doesn't mean I'm willing to overlook whatever transgression you committed against my son, but on the other hand that's between you and Sebastian, and he certainly doesn't need me to fight his battles for him. However, all that aside, it doesn't change the facts."

"What facts?" Sam demanded, still angry.

"Sam, let me tell you a little something about me and my family," Quentin said much more informally as he decided to shift strategies and attempt to make Sam relate to him. "You see, I'm not the world's best father. I'm a great attorney, and an excellent provider, and I love both my boys very much, but despite all that, I can't seem to actually build much of a relationship with either of them."

"That sucks," Sam answered as he felt some of his anger deflating and began to sympathize with the man. That had to be a cruddy situation to be in.

"It does 'suck'," Quentin assured him, once again implying punctuation. "Yet, though I can't actually bond with them, that doesn't mean I don't know them both quite well. I'm not blind to their virtues nor to their faults. For instance I know that my older son Michael is an under-achieving, rebellious, semi-violent asshole. However, he's also a damn fine father to his own daughter, quite bright, and fiercely loyal to his family and friends." Quentin felt just a twinge of anxiety as he thought about the fact that he was fully counting on Michael's strong sense of loyalty to prevent him from following through on his threat of fully cutting ties with his father and brother after he finished law school. It was a daunting prospect and Quentin knew that he would have to start trying to smooth things over with Michael while still maintaining his control over the situation if he was going to successfully mollify the young man's fury. Still that was a topic to ponder another time and he quickly redirected his attention toward the current situation with Sam and Sebastian.

"Sebastian on the other other hand is capable of charming just about anyone, and I have no doubt that he has you fully under his influence. Also - and this isn't just fatherly pride speaking - I think he may just be the single most intelligent person I've ever met. However, he's also arrogant, spoiled, manipulative, and quite possibly incapable of expressing honest positive emotion. Trust me when I tell you he isn't boyfriend material."

Sam stared at the man for a few moments, trying to process everything he'd just been told. Finally he stood up and glared at him defiantly. "No."

"No?" Quentin asked, unsure of what Sam was negating.

"No. I don't trust you. I trust Seb. Good day, Mr. Smythe," Sam said as he turned and strode toward the door.

Quentin smirked and mentally tipped his hat to his son. "Sam wait."

Sam stopped just as his hand made contact with the fancy doorknob and hesitently turned around to look at the man again.

"I thought you wanted Sebastian's school address and room information?"

Sam gaped slightly in surprise before shutting his mouth and regarding the man curiously. "I thought you wouldn't give it to me?"

"I changed my mind," Quentin answered. "I did everything I could, Sam. I tried to warn you, and now Sebastian is probably going to destroy you, but as I said before that's really between you and him, and I'm more than satisfied that you yourself don't mean him ill. That's really all I care about in this situation." As he had been speaking Quentin was scribbling Sebastian's address, room number, and campus phone number on the notepad on his desk. As he finished he tore the sheet off and held it out. "Here."

Sam cautiously walked back to the desk and took the proffered slip of paper from Sebastian's father. "Thank you, sir."

Quentin smiled icily. "It's your funeral, Sam."

**-000-**

**End Note: So yeah, I don't think I did that great of a job writing for Emma. Despite the fact that I like her on Glee I don't think I was quite able to get her character down. Please let me know what you guys thought of her scene with Sam. I know Dr. Johnson was probably a much more helpful clinician. I had a lot of fun with her. I'm glad I finally got to use this chapter's flashback scene too. I actually wrote it shortly after I began the story but the time wasn't right to use it until now.**

**Also, I know I totally lied to you guys and said that there would be some good Sam/Sebastian interaction in this chapter, but honestly that is the very next scene coming up. I swear on a stack of kittens the next chapter with have some good Sam/Seb scenes. **

**I'm eager to hear what you guys thought of the resolution to last chapter's cliffhanger. I debated going in several different directions from picking the scene up there and having Seb tell Michael not to hurt Sam, to **_**letting **_**Michael hurt Sam, to...well this. Did anyone think I was actually going to have Sam get revenge raped? It was a bit of evil misdirection, but as you saw things turned out nicely for him in the end. **

**Anyway, I have the next chapter(s) well mapped out in my head so hopefully I can get them out soon. I'm eager to hear what you guys thought of this one :-)**


	11. Chapter 11: Realization

**What I Want**

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as enjoyed writing it!**

**Chapter 11 - Realization**

_****Then****_

Quentin gasped quietly as realization flickered across his face. It was a pleasantly warm Saturday afternoon in early fall and until a moment earlier Quentin had been enjoying a carefully planned day with his family. A couple of months earlier over the summer he had wed his new bride, Vanessa and he had been painfully aware that neither of his teenage sons had yet accepted the young woman into the family. Desperate to create some shared experiences as a foundation for the new family unit, Quentin had meticulously orchestrated this day. He had made every single allowance he could think of to convince the other three people to spend their afternoon out poolside with him. He had bribed his new wife with expensive jewelery, he had allowed his underage older son free reign over the liquor cabinet, and he had even acquiesced to Sebastian's request to invite a friend from school over to the little family gathering. He hadn't been pleased about this last sacrifice since the whole idea was for the _family_ to spend time together, but if keeping Sebastian complacent meant having to add a kid he didn't know into the mix then so be it.

Everything had been going just fine. Vanessa was tanning herself on the pool lounge chair to his right, and Michael was contentedly drinking a cocktail and playing with his phone on the chair to Quentin's left. Meanwhile Sebastian was the only one actually in the water and was cheerfully goofing around with his friend. Of course it was true that none of them were actually speaking or interacting with anyone else in the family, but considering that they all seemed to be enjoying themselves _near_ each other Quentin was going to count it as a victory. Hell, he would have counted it as a victory simply due to the fact that they weren't at each other's throats.

Indeed, everything had seemed to be going along nicely. That is until Quentin had grown curious of the way Sebastian and his friend – whose name Quentin couldn't quite remember – were interacting. Something about it just seemed _off_ somehow. At first Quentin had dismissed it as merely two kids horsing around, but then he realized that Sebastian and the other boy were a bit old for that type of behavior. Quentin had then spent the next several moments quietly observing them, now convinced that something was definitely strange about Sebastian's friend. It wasn't until Sebastian cornered the other boy on the far end of the pool and pinned him against the tiled side that it finally dawned on Quentin. The way their heads were so close, the way the boy was giggling, the way Sebastian had him trapped between his arms. Suddenly it all made sense. In that instant a thousand little peculiarities about his son added up into one shocking realization.

"What?" Michael asked idly after hearing his father's startled gasp. When he didn't get a verbal response he glanced up from the game he was playing and noticed the way the color had drained away from Quentin's face. He followed his father's line of sight directly to his brother and as soon as he realized what his father was witnessing he had a pretty good idea of what it was that had surprised him so much. Michael had been curious how this would play out for a long time. His brother's closet had been utterly transparent for quite awhile now, and Michael had been beginning to suspect that perhaps his father had already worked it out; however clearly based on the shocked expression which had now settled onto his face, he had not. That came as no surprise to Michael either. After all Quentin rarely bothered spending time with Sebastian or himself so it was reasonable that he had been too blind to put the pieces together until now.

"What?" Michael repeated, this time more challengingly.

"Your brother..." Quentin turned a horrified gaze at his older son, silently praying Michael would soon be assuring him that he had leaped to the wrong conclusion. "Sebastian...is he...you know?"

"A faggot?" Michael asked with a smirk, enjoying the way his normally well-composed father was openly gaping at him.

Quentin couldn't answer. Instead he just nodded and looked nervously at his wife, worried that she had overheard. Thankfully, Vanessa seemed to be enthralled in whatever song was playing on her iPod and was paying no attention to their conversation.

Michael laughed out loud at his father's reaction. "I'm pretty sure she knows, dad."

"What? How?!" Quentin demanded as he returned his attention to his eldest son. Vanessa hadn't even known Sebastian's for very long. How could she possibly have found out if he himself hadn't even known?

"Well she is really stupid," Michael conceded, "But she's young and she spends a lot of time in California and New York City. I doubt Seb's the first queer she's met. Besides, he practically farts rainbows and unicorns. It's kind of obvious."

Quentin's eyes widened as he tried to process everything he was hearing. "How long...How long has he been this way?" Quentin asked in a strained voice.

"Well scientific thought says probably his whole life," Michael answered sarcastically.

"How long have you known?" Quentin demanded, angry that he had been kept in the dark for so long.

"Well let's see." Michael made a show of thinking it over as he sipped his drink before finally smirking and answering, "probably his whole life."

Quentin let that sink in as he considered what to do with the information. He suddenly felt very inadequate as a father. Was he really the only one in the family who hadn't known? And what was he supposed to do now that he did know?

"Do you think I should talk to him?" Quentin asked.

Michael nodded. "Yeah, you probably should talk to him. He is your son after all. But you never really talk to us anyway, so I don't know why you'd start now. And if you mean specifically about him being gay, then no, I doubt he wants to talk to you about that."

"I talk to you and your brother," Quentin defended himself. It was one thing for him to notice his own failings; he didn't need Michael pointing them out.

"_Right_, that's why it's taken you all this time to notice Seb's a flamer and I have a tattoo on my left calf."

Quentin's eyes darted to his son's leg in surprise. He was angry to hear laughter a few moments later.

"See, you had to look," Michael pointed out with a cocky grin.

"Quit playing games," Quentin snapped in a harsh voice. "This is serious. What are we going to do?"

"I'm going to have another drink," Michael declared as he drained the rest of his glass and stood up. Before he walked away Michael leaned over his father's chair and addressed him in a much more serious, quieter tone of voice. "Dad?"

"What?" Quentin asked irritated by the smell of liquor pervading his son's breath.

"If you _ever_ give Seb a hard time about this, even a little bit, I'm going to make it a point to get expelled from every school I ever go to from here on out."

"Don't be a jerk," Quentin growled as he made eye contact with Michael. "I'm not going to give him a hard time about it. I just don't want people to find out."

"Not your call," Michael remarked as he strolled away.

Quentin considered that. Sebastian was the more tactful of his two boys. He was also more levelheaded. Perhaps if Quentin pulled him aside quietly he could convey the importance of keeping up appearances and maintaining a good impression on people. He didn't want his son's sexuality to hold him back in life and if he was honest with himself, Quentin also had to admit that he wasn't wild about the possibility that it would bring he himself embarrassment or disapproval from his more conservative clients and business contacts. Surely Sebastian would understand that. If not he would just have to figure out some incentive he could use to tempt the boy to stay in line.

**-000-**

_****Now****_

Sebastian was surprised to hear a knock on his door. Unless he was hosting a sexual encounter he didn't often get company at his Dalton dorm room. This was especially true now that his roommate, Jeff Sterling, rarely spent much time in their room. He was vaguely aware that Jeff was pissed at him and that it had something to do with the time they had hooked up, but he didn't care enough to try to get details. In fact it suited him just fine that Jeff wasn't around very often. Sex with the cute singer was hardly a hefty price to pay for the added privacy he now enjoyed. His curiosity about his unknown caller piqued, he crossed the room and peered through his peephole.

Sebastian sighed quietly as he recognized the distorted image of his visitor. He wondered briefly if he could get away with just pretending not to be in. An instant later he felt the now semi-familiar pangs of guilt which seemed to occur whenever he had thought of Sam over the past few days. Sebastian mentally cursed himself and then silently hurled a few expletives at Sam as well. It was all his fault he was having these unwanted feelings. Why did Sam have to be different from the other guys he had messed around with? Why couldn't he just not give a shit about Sam like he didn't give a shit about Jeff, or Aaron, or the dozens of other hook ups he'd had.

"What do you want?" Sebastian demanded brusquely as he opened the door. As soon as he made eye contact with Sam he saw the small flicker of pain and disappointment his greeting had caused and felt another stab of remorse in his stomach. "fuck," Sebastian mouthed to himself before reluctantly stepping aside to make room for his uninvited guest. "Come in."

"Hey," Sam said softly as he gave Sebastian a small, awkward smile and stepped into the room.

"I guess you came for your things," Sebastian stated as soon as he'd closed the door. "I'll get them."

"Thanks, but I didn't..." Sam trailed off as Sebastian turned and walked back into the main part of his room. He watched as Sebastian opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a stack of items. As he turned and started walking back toward Sam, the blond could tell that the bundle contained his pants, socks, and underwear – all of which appeared freshly laundered and neatly folded – with his cell phone and wallet resting on top. Sam was unsure what to say as he took the items. He was glad to see them again, especially his phone and wallet, but they certainly hadn't been the main reason he was here.

"Your shoes are in the closet by the door," Sebastian stated as he felt his chest starting to constrict. He realized to his surprise that he was experiencing another uncommon emotion thanks to Sam's visit: _anxiety._ First guilt and now anxiety, just what the hell was Sam trying to do to him?

"Uh well thanks but-"

"Have a nice drive back," Sebastian said as he not so subtly put his hands on Sam's shoulder and started hustling him back toward the door – he hated how good it felt to touch the blond again.

"No wait," Sam said firmly as he set his feet and refused to walk any farther. "There was something else."

Embarrassment seized Sebastian as he thought about the one item he wasn't returning to Sam. He had hoped Sam either wouldn't notice or wouldn't say anything. Either way it was just too bad, because though he hated himself for doing it, Sebastian just wasn't going to give it back.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Sebastian blushed slightly as he apologized, making it appear uncharacteristically sincere. Then he pulled out his own wallet. "Malinda ruined your shirt in the washer. I'll pay you for it. How much was it?"

Another hurt look flashed across Sam's face, this one felt like it might rip Sebastian fully in half. _Jesus Fuck! What the fucking hell is wrong with me?!_ _Get a hold of yourself! All you did was have sex with him. He's not the first nice guy you've ever screwed for christsake. _

"I deserve this," Sam said sadly as he held up his clothes and moved away from the hands that were still on his shoulders. "I get that. I deserve to be treated coldly. But please, just let me say what I need to say, okay? And then you can throw me out if you still want to."

"Okay," Sebastian said reluctantly. He wanted nothing more than to simply throw Sam out now and be done with it, but he was feeling that same odd mix of anxiety and guilt, and he suspected that it would only get worse if he didn't listen to the blond.

"I came to apologize," Sam said as took a deep breath and looked up into Sebastian's hazel eyes. "I'm really sorry about what happened and...and I accept responsibility for my role in it. I didn't realize that I was..." Sam trailed off, his voice low and barely audible by the time he finished speaking. Another wave of hurt rolled over him as he thought about the way his careless actions had hurt Sebastian and how he had ruined yet another promising relationship before it had even gotten started properly. By the end of his short speech Sam had given up trying to hold eye contact with Sebastian. It was just too difficult. The Warbler's expression was completely unreadable and despite Sam's strongest intentions he found himself unable to continue his apology under Sebastian's unwavering gaze.

"Didn't realize..." Sebastian repeated softly as he studied Sam's face. He was only peripherally aware of Sam's words. He could replay them in his head if he tried and he had paid enough attention to be able to prompt Sam to continue using his final phrase, but Sebastian hadn't truly been listening. Instead he had been too busy watching Sam, too busy trying to figure out what it was about this painfully simple and straightforward boy that was nevertheless somehow utterly enigmatic. What was it that made Sam so irresistible, so compelling? He was good looking and kind, but lots of guys were. He could possibly sing and perform – Sebastian wasn't even sure if he had any talent. He couldn't remember any of Sam's past performances – but though that would be one thing they might have in common it would hardly make up for their world of differences. So just what was it about him? Why did Sebastian feel these confounding feelings when he looked at Sam?

Sam reinvigorated his resolve and attempted to restart his apology. "I didn't realize..." He didn't get very far this time as he once again looked up at Sebastian's face and was startled to realize that his previously indiscernible expression had shifted completely. He was now regarding Sam with an intensity that would have been unnerving if it hadn't also been so blindingly magnetic.

"_I_ didn't realize," Sebastian stated matter-of-factly as his face shifted into its more comfortable and familiar smirk and he raised his hands to Sam's shoulders and started to lean in.

"Didn't realize what?" Sam inquired softly as the bundle of clothes slipped from his fingers and his arms wrapped around Sebastian's waist. Suddenly all that seemed to exist in Sam's world was a pair of blazing hazel eyes that were slowly but unstoppably moving ever closer.

_How much I still want you._ Sebastian thought as he pressed his lips against Sam's and gently pushed him backward until he was against the wall of the room's narrow hallway.

Sam moaned softly and a moment later he was left unsure if it had been Sebastian who had used that brief opportunity to invade his mouth, or if it was his own tongue that had led the charge. Either way their tongues were now locked in a hopeless battle - hopeless because Sam already knew that the kiss wasn't going to be enough to satisfy either of them. He pulled Sebastian's hips forward, grinding the dark haired singer's pelvis against his own.

Sebastian's fingers darted from Sam's shoulders down to his waist, quickly tangling in the hem of his shirt and desperately trying to wrench it up and off of him. It would have been easier if he had been willing to break the kiss, but though he sent that request to his lips it was summarily overruled.

Sam wasted no time yanking his arms out of the garment, but his own mouth was equally unwilling to part with Sebastian's. Instead the shirt was left tangled around Sam's ears and both their chins as their desperate kiss only continued to escalate.

Thanks to his semi-success in ridding Sam of his shirt, Sebastian was getting the sensation of hot flesh that he was so urgently craving as his hands reacquainted themselves with Sam's bared torso. Yet it still wasn't enough. He had to feel Sam's skin directly against his own. He needed chest-on-chest contact. He needed Sam's heat. His fingers urgently traveled back to the buttons of his uniform shirt and began fumbling with the maddening clasps. The next thing he knew Sam's hands had roughly joined his own and an instant later the blond had dramatically ripped open several of the top buttons. On a distant level Sebastian laughed at the over-played gesture, but on a more basic, primal level it seemed like the perfect solution to their problem. He was more than fine with his shirt becoming collateral damage and as Sam continued launching an attack from the top down, Sebastian focused his efforts on the lower part of the garment and worked his way up. Within seconds Sebastian's shirt proved itself no match for the boys' combined brute force and raging hormones.

As their frenzied lip-lock continued Sam eagerly pressed his fingers against Sebastian's newly-exposed chest, quickly homing in on the hard buds of his nipples. Sam couldn't get over how intoxicatingly different Sebastian's chest was from that of all of his other, previous make out partners. It was so much flatter and more muscular, so hard and powerful. Until Sebastian, Sam had no idea how erotic a chest like that could feel, but now he couldn't get enough of it.

As Sam's guitar-callused fingers danced over his nipples, Sebastian singled out a different target for his own probing digits. He decidedly trapped Sam's full bottom lip between his teeth and nipped at it hard enough to capture all of the blond's attention before he roughly ran the flat of his hand down Sam's navel and directly into the front of his jeans and briefs. Sebastian dexterously wrapped his fingers around the shaft of Sam's organ as his palm pressed against the blond's swollen head. His efforts soon induced a needy, whimpering sound from Sam's throat that was promptly swallowed up by Sebastian's all-consuming mouth.

Sam felt like he was drowning in Sebastian. The Warbler was everywhere - in his mouth, in his hands, in his pants. Everything he breathed, felt, or tasted was Sebastian. The intensity of their kiss had him on the verge of choking and Sebastian's deft fingers were threatening to pull him over the edge. Sam didn't know whether to come up for air or allow himself to be completely engulfed by Sebastian.

Sam made his decision and a moment later his hands were on Sebastian's face, gently but firmly pushing him away. "We need to talk," he panted as he finally pulled the t-shirt the rest of the way over his head and let it drop to the floor.

"What's there to talk about?" Sebastian asked with a devilish smirk as his long fingers cupped Sam's heavy balls while his other hand traveled around to Sam's backside and slid into his jeans from behind. "I think we both know how this works," Sebastian remarked as he gave Sam's muscled cheeks a firm squeeze.

Sam let out another low grunt and bucked the length of his cock against Sebastian's wrist and arm as he tried to become accustomed to the probing fingers of his other hand. "Really, we need to talk," Sam insisted with what was left of his resolve.

"Go ahead," Sebastian invited as his fingers continued exploring Sam in a way that no one else had ever done before. Meanwhile Sebastian's other hand resumed a firm grip on the jock's erection and he gave it a few slow pulls, delighted when he felt more of Sam's excitement leak out against his palm.

"It's not fair for us to talk while you're touching me like that," Sam argued weakly.

"You could touch me too," Sebastian whispered into Sam's ear before he bit gently at the place just below Sam's lobe.

Sam moaned and slid his hands up against Sebastian's shoulders and under his open uniform shirt. It was well past time for Sebastian to be shirtless. The Warbler happily complied with Sam's endeavor, removing his hands from Sam's body so that the shirt could be stripped off of his arms. As soon as Sam's task was accomplished, and Sebastian shirt was lying in a pool of fabric near the rest of the fallen clothes, Sam lustfully looked down the bare expanse of Sebastian's back. Though the singer was slim he was well-muscled and his shoulders were very broad. There was no mistaking the fact that the body pressed up against Sam's was male, and this fact was most decidedly _not_ doing anything to dampen the blond's lust. In fact his hormones only ratcheted up higher as he took in the firm, tan globes of Sebastian's buttocks, the tops of which were just barely, and oh-so-tantalizing peaking out from the top of his dress slacks.

"We have to talk," Sam insisted as his hands moved with a will of their own toward their new target and slid into the back of Sebastian's pants.

"Now you're talking," Sebastian whispered in a husky voice as he pushed Sam harder against the wall and ground their bodies together.

"I mean it," Sam whimpered as his hands cupped Sebastian's cheeks and he thought about the way they had felt against his cock the last time he and Sebastian were together.

"So do I," Sebastian assured him as he tilted Sam's head back and attacked the underside of his throat.

"A-after... Sam pleaded as he forced himself to let go of Sebastian's ass and moved his hands around to his hips instead, halfheartedly trying to push him away. "We can do this after we talk."

"Before," Sebastian bargained as he took advantage of the small space that had opened between their bodies and began undoing Sam's jeans.

"Why before?" Sam inquired, hesitating only briefly before setting his own fingers to work on Sebastian's fly. He only had so much willpower and the removal of pants didn't exactly seem like a bad idea at this juncture.

"You want to talk _and_ you want to have sex right?" Sebastian asked calmly as he pushed Sam's jeans down his hips, leaving his soon-to-be lover in only a pair of straining, gray briefs.

"God yes," Sam exclaimed as he too managed to lower his partner's pants and wasted no time in grabbing Sebastian's cotton-clad ass and grinding their now only thinly covered erections together. The pantless proceedings had indeed been a good idea.

"Then it makes sense to have sex first and talk later," Sebastian answered, his forehead against Sam's as he pressed him back against the wall again and began a slow, hard series of thrusts.

"How do you figure?" Sam asked as his head began to spin from the sensory overload.

"Well, if the conversation doesn't go well we might not still have sex, but we both want to. So let's have sex now, then our bases are covered whichever way the chat goes," Sebastian reasoned with a smug smile as he looked into Sam's pale, lust-filled green eyes and let loose another long, slow thrust that had Sam trembling.

Sam sighed and thought over the suggestion for a few seconds. "That does sound really logical," he concluded before abruptly lunging forward and pinning Sebastian against the opposite wall, finally giving his barely contained hormones free reign. He sucked Sebastian's lower lip into his mouth as he held him in place against the wall with his chest. Meanwhile his hands pushed the fronts of their underwear down and he took both their erections in his hands, squeezing them together tightly and allowing their slick heads to share a kiss of their own.

Sebastian moaned loud enough that anyone in the neighboring rooms could hear, and he quickly pulled the back of Sam's underwear down as well, palming each hard cheek and probing the blond's crack with his fingers. Whether from surprise or heightened lust the action had Sam bucking their dicks together harder and as soon as he felt the agonizingly satisfying friction Sebastian's exploration took on a more directed route. He pressed firm circles over Sam's tight hole and had to fight back the urge to cum as Sam bucked wildly against their cocks.

Sebastian pulled his mouth away from Sam's. "I'm going to fuck this," he remarked as he pushed his finger against the tight pucker again. "I'm going to fuck it and you're going to beg for more."

Sam's eyes widened but he nodded vigorously a moment later. He had never experienced that before, but damn did it sound like a good idea.

Sebastian led them to the bed and they quickly began sixty-nining. As Sam buried his face in Sebastian's crotch he found himself lost in lust. Everything about Sebastian had his head swimming. The hard, meaty weight of his cock, the way his heavy balls jiggled slightly as Sam's head bobbed, the neatly trimmed dark thatch framing his equipment. He even found himself mesmerized by the thin hairs on his muscular, inner thigh. There was no denying that Sebastian had an attractive face, but good god did he ever have a sexy crotch!

"Stay there," Sebastian instructed a few minutes later as he extracted himself from Sam and went to his desk.

"Oh I'm not going anywhere," Sam assured him as he laid back and gave himself a couple of idle strokes.

"I meant what I said, Sam. It's your turn to get fucked," Sebastian declared as he held up a foil-wrapped condom. "I'm still too sore to bottom anyway."

"Okay," Sam said quietly as he took a few calming breaths. "I trust you."

Sebastian chuckled. "Well that was your second your mistake," he remarked with a smirk as he pulled out a bottle of lube.

"What was my first mistake?" Sam inquired casually as his eyes raked over Sebastian's naked body and he began imagining how things would be proceeding.

"Coming to the park that day and agreeing to kiss me," Sebastian answered with a dark smile as he thought about all the things he would soon be doing to Sam.

"That wasn't a mistake," Sam answered right away as his eyes snapped up to Sebastian's face and he became more serious. "I'm glad I did. I really do want this, Seb."

Sebastian stared at Sam pensively as he considered his words. Part of him still just wanted to pound the hell out of the jock, to ravish his body completely and not stop until he had found his release. That had basically been his plan all along. Besides he owed Sam a good rough fuck in return for the one he had gotten. However, as he continued looking at Sam, as he noticed the completely trusting, even eager look on his face, he felt those same pesky _feelings_ again. The ones that told him that for some bizarre, incomprehensible reason it just wasn't okay to take advantage of Sam and hurt him the way he did with everyone else. It didn't make any sense at all, but it was hard to resist nevertheless.

"I want this too," Sebastian said at last as he mentally threw his hands up and said _fuck it._ One gentle, thoughtful sexcapade wouldn't cause his whole self image to crumble after all. His decision made, he set the bottle of lube down on the desk, tore open the condom, and picked up a pair of scissors.

"Um, won't it like, not work now?" Sam asked as he watched Sebastian snipping away at the latex sheaf.

"I'm not going to use it the standard way, but I think you'll like what I have in mind," Sebastian answered as he finished his task and then grabbed a second, unopened condom from the drawer before making his way back to the bed with his supplies.

"Are we gonna make balloon animals?" Sam asked as he tried to figure out what else they could do with a condom. "Because that sounds fun and all, but I really think we should go ahead and have sex first. I'm really horny now and I am nervous about being fucked, but I just want to-"

"Shut up and lay back," Sebastian ordered as he placed a hand on Sam's chest and pushed him backward. "Now lift and spread your legs."

"O-okay." Sam complied, pleased that he had gotten Sebastian back on track but still kind of scared about what was going to happen.

"You have such a hot ass, Sam," Sebastian remarked as he licked his lips and ran his finger over Sam's puckered entrance again. "I fucking can't wait to nail it."

"It's going to hurt isn't it?" Sam asked as he chewed on his bottom lip. He suddenly wanted to back out and thought that maybe balloon animals sounded like a good idea after all. He knew he had no right to though since he had already gotten to fuck Sebastian once before.

"No," Sebastian said simply as he positioned the lubricated side of the modified condom against Sam's opening. "It's not going to hurt at all, Sam."

"But it hurt you and – Ohh!" Sam gasped as Sebastian's tongue pressed against him for the first time. "Whoa, that is definitely a new sensation."

As Sebastian continued flicking his tongue against Sam's hole he opened the lube and squirted a good bit into his hands. Then he began massaging Sam's balls and perineum with one hand while expertly jerking him off with the other.

"Oh my god! That feels amazing!" Sam enthused as his head rolled back against the pillow and he began bucking down against Sebastian's hands and mouth. "Uuhhh" He moaned an instant later as Sebastian finally succeeded in penetrating him with his tongue.

After several minutes of rimming Sebastian removed his mouth and inserted a lubricated finger. He wasted no time in feeling around for Sam's prostate which he quickly located. As he did so he continued working Sam's cock with his other hand.

"Ohhh, that feels even better," Sam moaned as he tried to impale himself more fully on Sebastian's finger.

"Wait till you feel my cock," Sebastian remarked before leaning over Sam and initiating another round of frenzied making out.

Sam felt like he was going to go crazy if he didn't get more of Sebastian soon. He pushed him away enough to speak. "I think I'm ready for it."

Sebastian laughed and removed his finger from Sam, enjoying the look of disappointment that crossed his face. "Not yet, but let's try a second finger."

Sam felt a slight twinge of discomfort as Sebastian added the additional digit, but soon enough he was enjoying the added full sensation that it provided. They once again resumed their frenetic kissing as Sebastian worked him over. Sam was frustrated, but also grateful, about the way that every time he started to get close to his release Sebastian would change rhythm and pressure, or quit touching his erection completely.

"N-now?" Sam panted as he once again pushed Sebastian away from his lips. "Am I ready now?"

"Almost, but let's do a third finger," Sebastian decided as he once again removed his hand and poured a generous amount of lube over his fingers.

"But I want _you_," Sam whined. "You let me start fucking you right away."

"Yeah and look how great that worked out," Sebastian remarked. "Look, this is your first time, just cool it and let me do it right."

"Whoa!" Sam gasped an instant later as Sebastian's digits once again penetrated him, this time with a new one in the mix.

"You okay?" Sebastian asked as he swiveled the fingers of his other hand around Sam's cockhead.

"Uh huh," Sam said as he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. "Just really intense."

"Wait till you cum," Sebastian whispered into his ear before trailing kisses along his jawline.

"Ohh God, YES," Sam moaned a couple of minutes later. "That is _so_ good."

"Okay, then I'm going to stop," Sebastian answered.

"Wait what!?" Sam demanded as he felt Sebastian's fingers pull out and his hand abandoned his cock.

Sebastian laughed. "Because you're obviously ready now."

Sebastian rolled the condom down his erection and added a liberal amount of lube before smearing some more over Sam's entrance for good measure. Then he took a second to survey the situation. Sam's hair was tousled, his lips were red and swollen and he a smattering of kiss marks all over his neck. His chest was slightly flushed, his brown nipples had become hard nubs, and the sinewy muscles of his stomach seemed to be straining against the skin. All this with a throbbing erection resting against the thin treasure trail that led down from his navel. Sam looked insanely hot, like he was made for the singular purpose of having sex.

Yet as Sebastian continued studying the erotic sight that was laid out before him like some kind of delicious sexual buffet, he couldn't help but feel..._nervous_ of all things. He didn't know why but it had now become very important to him to get this just right and make sure that Sam's first time was good. Now that the moment of truth had arrived he felt anxious.

"Put it in, put it in!" Sam pleaded as he spread his legs wider and scooted closer to Sebastian. While Sebastian had been looking at him he had been doing some looking of his own and he very much liked what he was seeing. He wanted to see Sebastian react to the penetration. He wanted to watch Sebastian's muscles tighten, wanted to see the look on his face as he first entered. Mostly Sam just wanted to feel that delectable pressure inside his body again.

"You're going to like this," Sebastian stated, as much to convince himself as to convince Sam as he lined up his sheathed cock and made the first light contact with Sam's hole.

"I know. It's gonna be awesome!" Sam declared as he tucked his right arm behind his head.

Sebastian loved the way the pose made Sam appear. He looked strong yet vulnerable. Sebastian leaned down and gently tweaked one of Sam's nipples, enjoying the lusty sound that came out of his throat in response, then he ran his hands down Sam's torso, mapping each muscle with his fingers as they slowly trailed down to Sam's waist and he began to carefully ease in.

"Mmm," Sam bit his lip to keep from crying out and took a few deep, soothing breaths.

"How does it feel?" Sebastian asked as the head of his member slipped past Sam's tight ring of muscle.

"It hurt a little bit, but now it doesn't and...fuck I just really want more!"

"Well you're in luck, because there's plenty more coming," Sebastian answered with a smug smirk as he watched himself slide deeper into Sam's body.

"Ohhh. Ooh," Sam's eyes got wide and he panted a couple more times as he tried to decide if he the sensation was painful or pleasurable. "More!" He exclaimed a moment later when he had made up his mind.

Sebastian pushed the rest of the way in, burying himself to the hilt and gently pushing against the spot were he knew Sam's prostate was.

"Fuck," Sam said as his head rolled back. When Sebastian remained still he opened his eyes and pushed himself down against Sebastian's body. "No really, fuck."

Sebastian laughed and released Sam's hips, balling his hands into fists and resting them on either side of Sam's body so that he could get better leverage and also be closer to Sam's face. He watched carefully as he slowly slid out and then eased back in. He saw every reaction Sam had and though he outwardly kept his smug smirk in place he inwardly grinned knowing that Sam was enjoying it, that he was making it good for the jock.

"Faster," Sam requested as his fingers wrapped around Sebastian's biceps. He loved how hard they felt, the way they lightly throbbed as he moved back and forth.

"Not yet," Sebastian insisted before lowering his head and sealing his mouth over Sam's. For the next fifteen minutes they made out while Sebastian gently fucked Sam, sliding in and out in a slow, heavenly rhythm that had Sam practically screaming for more. Sebastian wouldn't give it to him though, he wouldn't even let their kiss dial back up to its former fever pitch.

"Come on, Seb. P-please. Please harder and faster," Sam begged when Sebastian had released his mouth.

"Nope, otherwise you'll be sore later," Sebastian answered. He hadn't gone to all this work to mess it up at the last minute. Sam was getting a gentle fuck if it killed him.

"I'm okay with that," Sam countered right away. "Please just do it. It's _so_ good, but I need more."

Sebastian rolled back on his thighs so that he was upright between Sam's legs again then he grabbed the bottle of lube and coated Sam's cock. "Tell me when you get close. I'll fuck you harder while you cum."

Sam gasped as the cool sensation of the lube rushed over his body and Sebastian began handling with a well-practiced technique. As he jerked him off Sebastian slowly increased the speed and force of his fucking. Soon his hand was a blur on Sam's cock and he had increased his thrusting to a strong, solid pace.

"I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!" Sam yelled. "Of fuck, fuck, FUCK ME!"

Sebastian didn't hesitate this time as he finally let Sam have it full throttle.

"Uuuhhh!" Sam shouted as a thick rope of cum shot out of his cock and hit his chest, followed by another and then a long, steady dribbling that covered Sebastian's hand. He felt like his orgasm wouldn't stop. The first wave had been the hardest he had ever experienced and it had just kept going and going until he started seeing spots.

"Christ! That was hot!" Sebastian blurted as he pulled out, ripped the condom off, and scooped up all the cum he could get from Sam's body. He jerked himself off at a frenzied pace and Sam didn't even have time to catch his breath before Sebastian was exploding in his own release, some of which hit Sam on the cheek.

Sam propped himself up on his elbows and crushed his mouth against Sebastian's, desperate to express some of the flood of emotions he was now experiencing. Sebastian kissed him back just as earnestly and they collapsed into a sweaty, satisfied heap on the bed. A few minutes later Sebastian got up and retrieved a towel which he used to wipe Sam's face before moving on and cleaning up the rest of their mess.

"So, did you like that?" Sebastian asked with a smug grin as he looked down at Sam.

Sam sighed and a big, contented smile formed on his face. "It was so incredible! Like _so_ good!" He declared, relishing the full-body, satisfied relief that was still encompassing him.

"Good," Sebastian declared. "Now get dressed and get the hell out!"

Horror and surprise flashed across Sam's face and in an instant he was reliving the painful memories and emotions that had occurred after the last time they had sex. He couldn't believe this was happening again. It didn't make any sense. No way had Sebastian gotten hurt, and he himself felt amazing.

"Whoa, easy," Sebastian said as his hand came to rest on Sam's inner thigh in a soothing gesture. "I was just kidding."

"What?!" Sam demanded still confused and torn between feeling relieved and feeling angry.

"It was just a joke," Sebastian said with a defensive shrug as he laid down on the bed next to Sam.

"That was seriously not funny, man," Sam said with a glare.

"Sorry," Sebastian apologized awkwardly, surprised to realize that he kind of meant it. "Anyway, quit bitching at me and come here," Sebastian snapped as he opened his arms and forced a smile.

Sam looked at him hesitently for a few seconds before deciding that he was over-reacting. Sebastian's joke certainly hadn't been funny, but he didn't want to spoil the experience they had just had by being pissed off. Besides he had to admit that he felt like cuddling and Sebastian's offer was just too tempting to pass up.

Another wave of confusing feelings washed over Sebastian as he closed his arms around the blond. It felt good holding him, good in a way he had never really experienced with any other lovers. As Sam snuggled against his chest Sebastian found himself frowning out of view, but nevertheless tightening his arms around the other boy. It felt _too_ good. This was going to be trouble.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Sebastian said quietly as he kissed the top of his head.

"About what?" Sam asked as his hand slowly trailed back and forth over Sebastian's side.

Sebastian considered the question. It was sort of amazing that Sam didn't even feel like he was owed an apology. He could have taken his pick. _About manipulating you into meeting me. Seducing you. Convincing you it was your fault I was pissed. Almost letting my brother jump you._

"Just about fucking up before," Sebastian answered, deciding to cover all of his bases and also resolving not to feel anymore damn guilt about any of that.

"I'm sorry I fucked up too," Sam responded as he tilted his head back to look at Sebastian. Sam made it point to look at people when he apologized to them and he wanted Sebastian to know that he truly did take responsibility for his role in hurting him.

Sebastian laughed dismissively, as he took in Sam's contrite expression. "If this has been you fucking up so far, then you must be downright incredible when you're getting it right."

Sebastian wasn't sure where the spontaneous compliment came from, but he had to admit liking the way it caused Sam's whole face to light up. They enjoyed the silence for several moments before Sam finally spoke.

"So do you have a roommate?" he asked as he looked around at the other side of the dorm room. There weren't very many personal effects out, but there were enough to make it look like someone other than Sebastian stayed in the room, unless of course Sebastian randomly kept just a few odds and ends on the other side of the room.

"Yeah, but he's never here," Sebastian answered as he let his chin rest against the top of Sam's head. He figured if he was going to do the cuddling thing he might as well get the full experience.

"Should we get dressed?" Sam asked, embarrassed over the possibility of someone walking in and catching them naked.

"Nah, if he comes back at all tonight it'll be much later. It's Jeff from the Warblers if you know who that is," Sebastian remarked. This was the first time he had felt like volunteering much personal information about his life to Sam. Every other time in the past when Sam had asked him something he had supplied a vague answer and then turned the conversation back around on Sam. It always felt more natural to do that. He rarely had the urge to share details of his life with people unless he had some other motive in mind. Everything else about this afternoon had been strange though, so he decided why not chat about the mundane happenings of his life too.

"I don't think I do know who that is. Maybe if I saw him. You and Blaine are kinda the only Warblers I know," Sam answered.

"Blaine isn't a Warbler," Sebastian corrected.

"But he was," Sam pointed out.

"Fine, then I think you're the cutest toddler from New Directions," Sebastian remarked.

Sam chuckled and elbowed Sebastian playfully in the chest. He loved the other guy's sense of humor. It was one of his favorite things about him.

"Anyway, the point is I'm sure Jeff is doing his own thing, or getting Nick to do it for him, so we can just forget about him," Sebastian said as his hand trailed down Sam's stomach suggestively. "So if you wanted to go for round two..."

Sam briefly thought that over. He was still feeling completely sated after their recent activities and apart from that he still wanted to make sure they talked about everything they needed to discuss. He was eager to clear the air between them and figure out where they stood.

"So are they a couple?" Sam asked seeing an opportunity to steer the conversation toward relationships. "Jeff and Nick I mean."

Sebastian laughed. "No, they're just two friends who blow each other from time to time. Nick claims to be straight."

"Wow!" Sam exclaimed. "I've never had a friend like that."

"Aren't we friends, Sam?" Sebastian teased.

Sam braced himself. That was obviously the opportunity he had been waiting for. "Well we're _friends_, but is that really the best word for it?"

Sebastian stiffened and fought the urge to climb out of bed. Why did Sam have to go and start trying to define things? "I think friends is a great word. Let's be friends."

"You mean friends like _boy_friends?" Sam asked awkwardly. When he didn't get a response right away he began a voice impersonation and started to sing in an attempt to lighten the mood. "If I was your boyfriend-"

"If you dare sing that or any other Bieber song around me then we can't even be friends," Sebastian threatened, glad that Sam couldn't see the smile that was trying to fight its way onto his face.

"But you recognized the song," Sam pointed out feeling like that was at least a small victory for his impersonation skills.

"I'd recognize it if you had herpes too, but I don't want you bringing either one into bed with me," Sebastian answered.

Sam laughed and rolled over so that he could look at Sebastian. "Okay, so no Bieber and no herpes, I can work that."

Sebastian frowned as he continued studying Sam. He still didn't understand where all of these feelings were coming from, but as much as he hated the fact that Sam was trying to pressure him into defining whatever they were, part of him couldn't stop giggling like a school girl over how cute Sam was being and another part was simply screaming at him to take the blond up on his offer of a relationship.

"Let's just take things slow and see what happens," Sebastian finally suggested.

"Deal," Sam answered with a grin as he sat up and threw a leg over Sebastian's waist, straddling him. "So about that round two."

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked with a smirk as he reached forward and started rubbing Sam's semi-hard cock which was now resting against his lower abdomen.

"Let's just start making out and see what happens," Sam suggested as he leaned down and captured Sebastian's mouth with his own.

**-000-**

The rest of the week was spent with Sam going to Dalton Academy after school to hang out with Sebastian. They worked on homework, watched TV, had dinners, and also quite a bit more sex. Sam had to admit that all the extra sex was definitely one advantage of being with a guy, or maybe it was just an advantage of being with Sebastian specifically. Either way he had gotten more action in a week with Sebastian than he had with all of his other girlfriends combined and Sam certainly wasn't going to complain.

It was now Friday afternoon and Sam had just arrived at Dalton Academy to meet Sebastian for the weekend. He was relieved that they would be going to Sebastian's house. Sam liked the Dalton Academy campus well enough, but he was definitely glad that Sebastian went home on the weekends. He always felt out of place walking around the private school. At least at Sebastian's house he probably wouldn't feel out of place unless he ran into Sebastian's father again. That was a daunting prospect in itself, but Sam did his best to ignore it as he got out of his truck and grabbed the Lima Bean cup from his cup holder. He had made the brief pit stop on his way over so that he could surprise Sebastian with his favorite beverage.

As he walked from the parking lot toward the entrance his heart suddenly leaped into his throat and he came to a screeching halt. A large, bulky teenager with short hair had just walked out the school door and was casually walking in Sam's direction, presumably toward his own vehicle. When he noticed how still Sam had become at his approach he glanced up to take in his face. Realization flashed across his features as he recognized Sam.

"You!" Sam barked, already fuming.

"Hi," the guy said tentatively as he remembered the bruises he had gotten as a result of his last meeting with Sam.

"What the hell are you doing here? You go to this school?!" Sam demanded as he got in the other boy's face and his free hand, the one not holding the coffee, balled into a fist.

"Yeah, but look it's not what you think," The guy countered.

"Really, because I think the last time I saw you, you were about to gay bash my boyfriend," Sam said as he moved in even closer and drew back his arm.

"No, that wasn't-" The guy didn't get a chance to finish as Sam hit him in the gut. In the process the coffee sloshed out of the top, the hot liquid causing Sam to inadvertently drop it. The other guy was relieved that at least it wouldn't end up thrown all over his face.

"You asshole!" Sam snapped as he pulled back to deliver another blow. He wasn't normally violently but suddenly seeing the guy who had scared Sebastian so much at the mall shortly after they met had sent him into a rage. What if the guy saw Seb between classes or something and tried the same thing when Sam wasn't around to stop him?

"STOP!" The other guy shouted as he grabbed Sam's arm and held it in place. "Just let me explain."

"It better be good," Sam growled as he remained vigilant for any sudden moves.

"Sebastian paid me to pretend to harass him," The teen said, cutting to the chase.

"What?! That's ridiculous," Sam retorted.

"I dunno about that, it looks like it must have worked since you're together now," the guy remarked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam asked looking at him curiously but still calculating where his next blow would strike.

"He wanted you to get mad and protect him and _that_ was definitely an unqualified success," the guy explained. "But seriously I'm not homophobic at all. I don't like Sebastian because he's kind of a prick, but I don't care that he's gay. Hell, it seems like half the guys at this school are gay or bi."

"I don't believe you," Sam answered as he tried to get a handle on what he was being told.

"Well maybe not half, but like a quarter at least. I think it's an all-boys school thing."

"I don't believe you about Sebastian paying you to make me protect him," Sam clarified.

"Yeah, it was a dick thing to do. Sorry man, I just wanted the cash. This is between you and him. Now if you'll excuse me," the teen wasted no time in making his exit, worried that Sam would change his mind and launch another attack if he didn't get away.

Sam stood there dumbfounded, trying to piece together everything he'd been told and reconcile it with what he knew. Had Sebastian really done that? Had he manipulated Sam into hitting an innocent person for the sole purpose of controlling his emotions? Sam slowly trudged back to his truck, unsure what to do next.

**-000-**

**End Note: First off, major props to "gotta B writin" for totally predicting the end of this chapter in his review of the previous chapter. It was indeed just a matter of time until Sam found out the truth about Sebastian's manipulations and the hired mall guy was indeed the one destined to spill the beans. **

**I hope the sex scene was hot. I wrote it in several sittings (which I don't normally do for sex scenes) so I also hope it didn't feel disjointed. What did you guys think of the kinder, more considerate Sebastian? As I see it, he's basically been torturing himself over his confusing feelings for Sam ever since Sam left his house. So I hope it didn't seem like too abrupt a shift in behavior. **

**Anyway, please let me know what you thought about everything :-)**


	12. Chapter 12: Wrong

**What I Want**

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. I didn't cover quite a much as I was originally planning to in this chapter, but I didn't want it be delayed any longer and it seemed like a suitable stopping point had been reached. I hope you guys enjoy it and Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Chapter 12 – Wrong**

_****Then****_

Sebastian felt like his whole world was coming apart as he sat on the edge of his bed, fighting back tears while Michael worked unsuccessfully on tying his necktie. None of this was right; Michael didn't know what he was doing. His mother would have been able to tie the wretched thing in no time. She would have had it done up and looking great in seconds and then she would have told Sebastian how handsome he looked. None of this should be happening. Michael just shouldn't have been the one tying his tie and certainly not for _this, _not when the doctors had said that his mother was getting better. Sebastian was having trouble accepting the fact that they had just been outright wrong. Doctors shouldn't be wrong and none of this should have been happening.

"Hold still," Michael snapped in a rough voice as he bit back a curse and redoubled his efforts on the nine-year-old's necktie. He mentally cursed his father for putting them through this. Sebastian should have just worn a clip-on tie like any other kid his age, but oh no, that wasn't good enough for their father.

"I don't...I don't w-wanna go," Sebastian muttered between sobs as the tears started slowly seeping from his eyes for about the fifth time that morning.

"I don't want to go either," Michael answered in a carefully controlled voice as he felt his own eyes starting to sting. "But we have to."

"No! Don't make me go!" Sebastian shouted as he lost the tenuous grip he had on his emotions, and pulled away from his brother, throwing himself backward onto the bed and sabotaging yet another attempt at fastening the necktie. Sebastian didn't entirely understand why, but somehow he felt like if he didn't actually go to the funeral, if he didn't actually see any of this happen, then it wouldn't be real. "Please don't make me go, Mike. Please!"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Michael yelled as he yanked the smaller boy back into a sitting position with the ends of the tie that he was still holding. Michael fought the urge to use the tie to strangle Sebastian. Why did his little brother have to be such a goddamn brat all the time? Why couldn't he at least behave today of all days?

"P-please," Sebastian whimpered between sobs as his fingers wrapped pleadingly around his older brother's arms.

"You have to go," Michael said in a tight voice as he carefully avoided making eye contact with Sebastian. "We both do. We have to say g-g..."

Sebastian's stomach dropped as he realized that Michael was crying. That was even more _wrong._ Sebastian's own tears were pouring freely now and he felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. An instant later Sebastian found himself clinging to the front of Michael's carefully tailored shirt. To his surprise instead of being pushed away as he had expected the older boy wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his back while he sobbed.

"Are you boys almost ready?" Quentin called as he walked into the room, already fully dressed in his own finest black suit. He felt his knees start to go weak as he caught the sight of his two sons sitting on the edge of Sebastian's bed, clutching each other and crying. His throat went dry and he felt at a loss for what to do. The sight was agonizing for him to witness and part of him wanted to just turn around and walk back out the door. This had already been the hardest day of Quentin's life and it was barely past nine am. Ironically if there had ever been a time when he had needed his wife it was today.

Michael stiffened and let go of Sebastian, embarrassed about being seen during such an emotional moment by his father. He quickly cleared his throat and wiped his eyes before turning to address the man. "I couldn't get his tie right...sorry. I-I'm going to go get my jacket."

Quentin gently grabbed his older son's arm as he walked past, stopping him. The thirteen-year-old glanced up at him expectantly and in that instant Quentin realized that he didn't actually know what he was supposed to say to the boy. It had just seemed like he was supposed to say _something._

"Thank you for helping him, Mike" Quentin said after a moment, still struggling to find the right words. "Your own clothes look very nice."

"Thanks," Michael said sarcastically as he turned to leave. Before he got the chance Quentin pulled him into an impromptu hug, surprising them both. After his father had released him, Michael quickly and wordlessly left the room, desperate to retreat into his own space and try to regain his composure before they left for the funeral home.

"Let me help you with that, Seb," Quentin said gently as he took Michael's place at the end of the bed and began fiddling with the now-wrinkled necktie.

"Dad, can I stay home instead?" Sebastian asked quietly as he looked up at his father.

"No, buddy, I'm afraid not. Besides, don't you want to see mom one more time?" Quentin asked in the same patronizing voice he always used when he addressed the child.

"No!" Sebastian shouted as he threw himself backward on the bed again. "I don't want to see mom _one _more time! This isn't fair! None of this is fair!" Sebastian was angry and glaring at his father, but he was also on the verge of another round of tears.

The instant the words had left his mouth Quentin knew that they were all wrong, that he couldn't convince Sebastian to go to his mother's funeral using the same tone and strategy that he would have used to get him to wash his hands before dinner. It was wrong, but it had been too late to take it back.

"I'm sorry. You're right, Sebastian," Quentin repented immediately as he began rubbing the boy's chest in an attempt to calm him. He watched in anguish as his son's fury slowly dissipated and was replaced by another bout of sobbing. He awkwardly pulled the child into his lap, desperate to figure out a way to comfort him, and held him as he cried. Silent tears were also falling from Quentin's eyes, but he quickly wiped them away before Sebastian could noticed.

"You're a very smart boy, Sebastian. I shouldn't have talked to you like you were a little kid," Quentin said a few minutes later when his son had quieted. He had to get Sebastian to go along with this and go to the funeral and he had just thought of a new strategy. "How about if I talk to you like another adult instead, and explain it to you that way?"

"Okay," Sebastian answered in a small voice.

"Okay," Quentin agreed soothingly as he gave his son a small encouraging squeeze before continuing. "The reason you have to go the funeral is for closure."

"Closure?" Sebastian asked with a sniffle. He had heard the word before, but he wasn't quite sure what it meant.

"Yeah. See, basically that means that if you didn't go today, you'd always regret it later. You'd always be sad that you missed your mom's funeral."

"But I am always going to be sad," Sebastian stated solemnly as he focused on the pain he felt. "No matter what. I'm _always _going to be sad."

"I certainly hope not, buddy," Quentin responded as he gave the boy another squeeze.

"I want to be sad though. For mom," Sebastian answered. As Sebastian saw it, if he held on to the pain he was feeling then at least he would have a way to hold on to his mother. Even if his father and brother made him go to the funeral and admit that she was gone, he wouldn't have to truly say goodbye to her if he never let go of his sadness.

"Mom wouldn't want you to be sad. In fact she wanted nothing more than for you and your brother to be happy."

Sebastian thought about that for a few moments. He knew his dad was right; his mom wouldn't have wanted him to be sad. Suddenly he felt scared that he would let her down anyway. "I don't know if I can do it," Sebastian said somberly.

"Sure you can. We're just going to get you into the rest of your suit and then we'll go, and Michael and I will be there the whole time holding your hand."

"No." Sebastian shook his head vigorously, frustrated that his father didn't understand. "I'll go the funeral, but I don't know if I can ever be happy again."

"Well, let's just get through today and then we can worry about being happy later. And I'll tell you what, I'll get you anything you want for being such a good boy. Anything at all. Just think about it and let me know."

"Okay," Sebastian agreed softly as he scooted out of his father's lap and held out the necktie so that Quentin could finish.

**-000-**

**__******Now****

"Hi Jeff," Sebastian said as pleasantly as he could when his roommate walked into the room. The smile on his lips was genuine. Not from delight for seeing the singer, but rather because Sebastian was already imagining telling Sam about the way he had been nice to the blond Warbler. He was already planning what he would claim as his reward. He didn't understand why Sam particularly cared if he got along with his roommate, but he had already gone to quite a bit of trouble for Sam in lots of other ways, if he really wanted him to exchange small talk with the teen then so be it.

Jeff bit back a curse and forced a cheerful expression onto his face. He was disappointed that Sebastian had beaten him back to the room. He had been hoping to grab his things and clear out before his roommate and his irritatingly hot new boyfriend even showed up. Truth be told Jeff liked Sam, and he hated him for that. He hated the Sam was sexy, hated that he was nice, and he_ really_ hated that the blond jock seemed to actually matter to Sebastian. He had been interested in the new Warbler lead since he had first transferred to Dalton, and it was infuriating that he roomed with the guy, had sex with the guy, but still lost out to a cheerful blond singer from another school. _Jeff_ was a cheerful blond singer. What was it that Sam had that he didn't? Was it that he was more muscular? Did Sebastian prefer the straight acting type? Was he nicer? Better in bed? The uncertain possibilities were driving Jeff crazy.

"Hi Sebastian," Jeff said with his best fake smile. He might have been angry and hurt that he had been nothing but a hook-up to the dark-haired boy, but he wasn't raised to be impolite. "I just need to grab a few things, then I'll be out of the way for you and Sam."

"No rush," Sebastian answered, internally thinking the exact opposite and hoping that he left quickly. "Sam isn't here yet, and we'll have all weekend together anyway." Sebastian threw in a wink and smirk that he hoped could pass as playful and friendly, despite actually being designed to make Jeff jealous.

"Oh I bet that'll be fun!" Jeff said enthusiastically. _I hope you get crabs._

"Oh I'm sure it will," Sebastian answered with a impish smile. "Sam is nothing if not insatiably fun."

Jeff's smile faltered for an instant and he hated just how erotic the images that sprang to mind were. He covered his discomfiture by turning and stuffing clothes into his bag. "Well if you can pry yourself away from all that merriment don't forget that we have Warbler practice tomorrow morning. I think that new guy is going to be auditioning."

"Of course I'll be there," Sebastian replied, forcing the indignation out of his tone. He didn't care for the insinuation that he would forget his responsibilities. "I'm more concerned about you."

"I'm never late," Jeff responded stiffly as he zipped his bag and turned to leave. He prided himself on being punctual and had no idea why Sebastian would doubt him.

"Oh I know you won't be late," Sebastian assured him, verbally stopping him just as he reached the door. "Just try not to _come_ too early. I know you've had that problem before."

Jeff winced and gritted his teeth, glad that his back was to Sebastian. Summoning the rest of his dignity he opened the door and bid his roommate goodbye. "Have a good weekend, Sebastian."

"I think that counts as being nice to Jeff," Sebastian muttered to himself as he contemplated removing his clothes and greeting Sam with nothing but a smile.

He felt silly about how excited he was for the blond's imminent arrival. They had spent practically the whole week together; it wasn't like Sebastian should have been missing him...but he was. His week with Sam had been the best week he had ever spent with a guy. There was just something about Sam's ridiculous big grin and transparent nature that made Sebastian happy. He loved the way Sam looked at him, with all that trust and passion. Sebastian always liked it when people trusted him, because that usually made it easy for him to get what he wanted from them, but with Sam at some point things had shifted so much that all Sebastian really wanted to do was preserve that trust, to not lose Sam's confidence. Sebastian frowned and realized that on a sappy level it wasn't completely inaccurate to say that he wanted to be the person Sam thought he was.

From a logical standpoint Sebastian knew that he should take a step back. He tried to remain cool and collected about the situation. He reminded himself that this was just the first wave of a relationship, that these feelings were all just brain chemistry and that he wouldn't always find Sam so appealing. His logic would have been more convincing if he hadn't kept getting sidetrack trying to figure out the perfect word to describe Sam's eyes. They were far too light to be 'hazel' or 'emerald' but too deep to be 'mint'.

Sebastian shook his head and went back to reminding himself that he was just having fun with Sam. That it was physical, that he would be over him in a few weeks and onto someone else. That Sam would just be a pleasant memory. That watching Sam's indescribable green eyes light up and his smile morph into that open-mouthed, cheesy grin of his wasn't the most beautiful thing Sebastian had ever seen. That Sam's voice, and his ability to manipulate it for hilarious impressions, wasn't the most adorable thing he had ever heard. Sebastian frowned again and realized that at some point he had gotten off track again.

He glanced at the time on his cell phone and realized that Sam should be knocking on his door any minute now. In fact Sebastian was surprised he hadn't already shown up. He wanted to get in a quickie before they left for Sebastian's house. He also made a mental note to tell Sam about his success at being kind to Jeff; that had to be worth at least a naked back rub. Sebastian also wanted to ask Sam how his English test had gone. After all he had spent considerable effort helping the blond study for it, and had even sacrificed some sex in his pursuit of tutoring him. Sam damn well better have aced it.

When Sam still hadn't shown up ten minutes later Sebastian gave in and reluctantly picked up his phone to call him.

**-000-**

Sam felt like his whole world was coming apart as he sat in the driveway of the Hudson-Hummel house trying to compose himself before going in. None of this was right; he had believed in Sebastian. He had trusted him. Had he really been wrong all along? Had Sebastian really been manipulating him since that day in the mall? Sam _knew_ that Sebastian had been manipulating him at the park when they had shared their first kiss, but he had thought that after that meeting, after they had gotten to know each other, that everything else had been honest.

Sam clenched his eyes shut and tightened his hands around the steering wheel. He was suddenly inundated with thoughts, with different memories of his experiences with Sebastian. Suddenly everything seemed like it could be interpreted in a different light. Part of him wanted to block out this rush of intrusive thoughts and part of him just wanted to try to sort them out and determine what had truly been innocent and what had been deceptive.

Sam thought about how maddening Sebastian had been when they were first becoming friends. He remembered the way Sebastian wouldn't message him for hours or days and then just when Sam was ready to give up on their fledgling friendship Sebastian would rope him back in. Now that he was looking at in retrospect he felt like Sebastian had been intentionally stringing him along. Then he thought back to the night that Sebastian had come and gotten him when he was stranded with Puck at those girls' apartment. That was the night that he had really started to trust and appreciate Sebastian. It was almost too painful to pick apart that incident, but Sam had to know if there was any ulterior motive. He remembered the mixed signals Sebastian had sent, the way he had kissed him casually when he got into he car that night, the way Sam had somehow ended up sharing a bed with Sebastian despite never having had any intention to do so. He hated to think this had all been part of some master plan, but in hindsight everything did start to look awfully suspicious.

Sam thought back to that terrible time at the mall, the experience that had provided the catalyst for all this doubt in the first place. He remembered how horrified he had felt when he saw Sebastian being harassed. He remembered the silent promise he had made within himself to show Sebastian that not all straight guys were like that. He also remembered the explicit, vocalized vow he had made to protect Sebastian and keep that bully away from him. Now Sam knew it had all been some kind of sick, twisted plot. Sam had stuck to his side of the deal only to find out that he had been the victim all along, not Sebastian, him.

Fury coursed through Sam as he once again replayed the night of their first time over in his head. He remembered at the beginning of the night how upset and surprised he had been to find out that Sebastian was seeing someone else. He remembered how proud he had been of Sebastian for doing the right thing and ending it with that other guy. He remembered how good it had made him feel. How it had probably ultimately led him into having sex with Sebastian that night. Surely _that_ couldn't have been faked too, could it? There was no way Sebastian had actually used that other boy, Aaron, just as some kind of pawn in his elaborate game. Sam felt conflicting feelings as he pondered this possibility. He felt almost guilty for even thinking that of Sebastian, but he also felt a nagging suspicion that that had been exactly what had happened. After all Sebastian hadn't wasted much time in dumping the guy. If all of this were true then Sam didn't know who he felt sorrier for, himself or Aaron.

A whole new round of hurt and anger gripped Sam as he replayed their actual first sexual experience. He thought about the way things had gotten so out of hand, the way Sebastian had gotten hurt. Had that even been real or had Sebastian somehow faked that too? There had been blood and Sebastian had seemed legitimately hurt and angry, but suddenly Sam didn't feel like he could trust anything when it came to Sebastian. Was he somehow just looking for a way to get pissed and throw him out so he could string him along all over again?

Tears slowly trickled down Sam's face as he thought about the first time he had bottomed for Sebastian, how sweet and tender it had seemed, how it had essentially marked the beginning of their brief relationship. Was that fake too? Had Sebastian just done that so Sam would keep having sex with him? More hurt and anguish crashed over Sam as he thought about what a great week they had spent together. The way they'd laughed, and talked, and just hung out and enjoyed each other's company. It had been awesome and amazing for Sam, but there had also been sex, lots of sex. Was that the only real reason Sebastian was doing it? Was that why he had been so sweet and gentle with Sam, so that he could keep getting sex whenever he wanted?

Sam felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and in a distant corner of his mind he realized that it had been vibrating sporadically for the last half hour and that he had received several calls and texts. He was unsurprised to see the name on the display as he retrieved the device ̶ unsurprised but furious. He pressed the accept button and raised the phone to his head.

"You fucking bastard!"

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in surprise and he pulled the phone away from his ear to check the number he had called. He had to have made some mistake, dialed some angry ex instead. Confusion and pained surprise washed over Sebastian as he realized that there was no mistake.

"Uh, what's up, Sam?"

"What's up? What's _up_?!"

"...I'm not sure what I did," Sebastian answered honestly as he rushed to analyze the last time he had seen Sam to make sure he wasn't forgetting something. Sam had left Sebastian's dorm room late the night before, but they definitely hadn't been arguing, in fact they had been having a silly, lighthearted conversation about which American Lit. author would be best at playing_ Call of Duty_. His position had been that Hemingway had a lot of unresolved demons to work through and that they would have come in handy in the game, whereas Sam's argument had been that Mark Twain would be the best, and had pretty much amounted to 'because he was Mark fricken Twain'. Sebastian was pretty sure he had won the debate, but there was no way Sam had actually been even slightly upset about it.

"You lied, manipulated, tricked, and betrayed me!" Sam shouted as he slammed his fist down into the empty passenger's seat in rage.

"Could you be more specific?" Sebastian requested. He knew Sam had lots of things he had every right to be angry about, but he had no idea which one actually had him pissed off, and he wasn't about to give Sam anymore ammo.

"You hired that jerkass from the mall to pretend to gay bash you!" Sam fumed. Despite his anger a big part of him was still praying that Sebastian would deny it all and explain what had really happened. He even felt a little bit silly now that he had let it out. Surely that guy was lying and Sam was being ridiculous even entertaining any of these thoughts.

_Oh that,_ Sebastian thought to himself. He mentally cursed himself for not seeing the potential for that loose end to come undone. Now that Sam had been spending time with him at Dalton he should have predicted the possibility of his boyfriend having a chance encounter with his hired goon and headed it off. He should have bribed the guy for silence or given him a cover story.

"Is it true?" Sam asked quietly before holding his breath for a response. He felt like their whole relationship was riding on what Sebastian would say next.

_No, of course it's not true. He's just homophobic and wanted to break us up._

"Yeah, it's true." _What the fuck!? Don't say that. Add something, quick. Say something, say anything, just come up with an excusable lie. Say you did it because you have trust issues and you had to put Sam through one more test before you knew if you could trust him. Say you had an ex who gay bashed you to save his own skin and you had to make sure Sam would never do that. Say..._

"I'm really sorry, Sam," Sebastian whispered as he found himself shaking and unable to get his lips around one of the excuses he had thought up.

"Yeah, me too," Sam said quietly as he hung up the phone.

Sam felt like the biggest fool on the planet. How had he not realized what Sebastian was really like. How had he been so completely wrong about him? And why was it that every person he fell for turned out to be a such a lying manipulator? If all his suspicions about Sebastian were correct - if half the rumors he had heard and discounted turned out to be true - then Sebastian was right up there in Quinn and Santana's league as far as evil manipulators. Mercedes seemed to be the only half-decent person he had been with and she had still broken his heart and strung him along just like everyone else. Why did he keep picking people who did stuff like this to him? What was _wrong_ with him? Sam let himself collapse across the seat of his truck and he spent the next twenty minutes just lying there crying and swearing.

Eventually he decided he should go to his room where he could at least be more comfortable for his pity party. So he carefully composed himself and resolved to walking straight through the house and into his bedroom. He was grateful that Burt and Carole were working late, and he remembered that Finn had plans with Rachel that evening. That just left Kurt to dodge. Of course if Kurt did find out he would probably be the most vocal and opinionated person on the topic, and in fact a small part of Sam even wanted to hear Kurt let loose a tirade about what an awful person Sebastian was. He had spent the last few weeks tirelessly defending Sebastian to everyone; he was now more than ready to hear and believe all his faults. The only problem was that Sam absolutely didn't want anyone else, especially Kurt, to ever find out about himself and Sebastian. No, Kurt would definitely need to be avoided.

As soon as Sam walked into the living room to his relief he found that Kurt was no where to be seen. Unfortunately Blaine was sprawled out on the couch and already looking at him curiously.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Blaine asked with concern evident on his face as he sat up.

"Nothing," Sam answered in a hoarse voice and he looked away from Blaine and rushed through the room and down the hallway, frantic to get to his room before his composure crumbled again.

Blaine hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to leave Sam alone and give him his space or try to help. He decided to settle for a middle ground. If Sam truly insisted on being left alone then he would honor that, but he wanted to give him another chance to talk. He had never seen Sam look _this_ upset before even during all his drama with Mercedes. He quickly slid off the couch and jogged down the hallway after his distraught friend. He caught up with him just as Sam was about to close the door to his room, instead Blaine gently stopped the closing door and knocked a couple of times on it. Sam didn't say anything so he pushed it the rest of the way open and paused in the doorway.

"Sam, I don't want to intrude, but something's going on."

Sam looked up at Blaine to tell him everything was fine, but he felt tears running down his face and knew he wouldn't be able to get the words out. He was just so ashamed of himself for falling for Sebastian's crap. Blaine had even tried to warn him in his own way about not trusting Sebastian as a friend. Blaine certainly would have had the sense to stay away from Sebastian as a boyfriend. Why hadn't Sam listened to his friends or to Ms. Pillsbury even? Why had he let this happen?

"Aww Sam, come here," Blaine said as he enveloped his friend in a tight hug. He hoped he wasn't overstepping the bounds of their friendship, but he knew Sam wasn't homophobic and he certainly looked like he needed a hug.

"I'm such an idiot!" Sam berated himself as he held on to the shorter teen, grateful for the comfort he was providing.

"You're not an idiot. It's going to be okay," Blaine reassured him. He had no idea what was actually wrong, but reassuring Sam seemed like a pretty good place to start.

Sam shook his head, certain that this wouldn't be okay at all, and clung tighter to Blaine.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked soothingly.

"No," Sam answered instinctively, but then he gave it a little more thought. His secret was eating him up, and he was too ashamed to tell his parents, or even Ms. Pillsbury, what had happened. Somehow it felt like it would be worse telling people who had known beforehand what had happened. Maybe it would be easier to confide in someone if they pretty much knew from the start that things hadn't worked out. At least that would save him the shame of having to admit that he had been wrong about Sebastian. "Well...I guess m-maybe we could talk about it."

Blaine was slightly surprised by the response and he would have been lying if he said his curiosity wasn't thoroughly piqued by this point, but he nevertheless spoke in the same gentle tone he had been using. "Okay, let's sit down and talk."

Sam allowed himself to be led to his bed where he took a seat next to Blaine. When he looked up at Blaine to start speaking he was hit with a wave of panic. It suddenly felt terrifying ̶ impossible even ̶ to think about confessing his secrets. Blaine _knew_ Sebastian, probably much better than most other people. Blaine was sure to think he was a fool for ever trusting Sebastian.

"Uh, you probably have plans with Kurt. I don't want to keep you."

"It's okay, Sam. He's getting ready, so I have a couple of hours. What happened?" Blaine asked as he rubbed Sam's back and gave him a sympathetic look.

"You won't tell anyone?" Sam asked nervously.

"Of course not," Blaine assured him. "Nothing leaves this room."

Sam looked around in confusion, not catching the connection at first. "I do leave soda cans in here sometimes, but I always throw them out before we get bugs."

"Uhh...Good," Blaine said patting him on the back. "And also, I won't repeat anything you tell me."

"Ohh, _that's_ what you meant," Sam realized as he felt a blush burn his face. "Eugh, you see what I mean?! I'm just so fricken dumb sometimes."

"You're not dumb, Sam. You're just a little naïve," Blaine reassured him. "It's sweet actually."

"Well people keep taking advantage of me, and I'm sick of it! I'm not going to trust _anyone_ from now on!" Sam ranted as another wave of anger seized him.

"That's not the answer. You wouldn't be happy like that."

Sam thought about it for a couple of moments before his face fell and he felt his rage deflating. "I guess not."

"So what happened?" Blaine prompted again.

"Well...um, I trusted someone I shouldn't have."

"Who?"

"Sebastian," Sam admitted, watching Blaine's face carefully for his reaction. He didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed when the curly-haired teen's expression remained impassive.

"What'd he do?" Blaine asked trying to remain calm as he felt his blood starting to boil beneath the surface. He was sick of Sebastian doing mean things to everyone.

"He hired some guy to pretend to give him shit about being gay so that I would get mad and protect him."

"Why?" Blaine asked as he tried to figure out what benefit that would have had to Sebastian. He knew there must have been some angle he wasn't seeing.

"It...It's embarrassing," Sam answered as he hung his head and stared at the ground between his feet.

"It's okay, Sam. I won't tell anyone, and I know it's not your fault," Blaine said as he bumped his shoulder against Sam's.

"I think it was some kinda plan to get me sleep with him," Sam answered awkwardly, still not lifting his eyes from the floor.

Blaine laughed out loud. "That's absurd! That's classic Sebastian for you too. He thinks he can make anyone do anything he wants. He even thinks he can get straight guys to have sex with him."

Sam laughed awkwardly and started fidgeting. "Yeah crazy...Imagine something like that working."

"Oh god, it worked didn't it?" Blaine asked as the rest of the pieces fell into place thanks to Sam's poor lying skills.

"Yeah," Sam admitted quietly with a nod as he looked away again. "It worked a lot. It worked every day this week...sometimes it worked two or three times a day...It was a very successful scheme."

Blaine eyes bulged as he realized what Sam was saying. If he hadn't been so appalled he would have actually been impressed with Sebastian. "Wow," He mumbled before he could stop himself.

"It wasn't just sex," Sam snapped, suddenly feeling defensive. "I thought it was sp...I thought we were..."

"You really liked him," Blaine stated as he once again wrapped a comforting arm around Sam's shoulders.

"Yeah. I thought it was real. I thought he was this incredible person that only I understood for some reason. I thought _everyone_ else was wrong about him and I was the only one who knew the real Sebastian." Sam rubbed the tears out of his eyes and sniffled before returning his gaze to his friend. "Pretty stupid, huh?"

"No Sam, not at all. Not even a little bit," Blaine insisted right away. "That's how you're supposed to feel when you care about someone. It's normal to be blind to people's faults when you first fall for them. You didn't do anything wrong. Sebastian's the one who's stupid."

"Thanks Blaine," Sam said as he leaned his head against the other boy's shoulder. He was grateful to have a friend like Blaine, and it felt good being able to talk to him about this kind of stuff, even if in every other way he still felt awful.

**-000-**

Sebastian groaned as his alarm went off. He hadn't actually slept at all and now he had to go to Warbler practice. He already knew it was going to be an abysmal day. At least he was already on campus and wouldn't have to rush to make it to the auditorium. Following his conversation with Sam the previous afternoon he had decided that the last thing he wanted to do was deal with his arrogant, asshole father and the man's irritating, airheaded wife. Since Jeff had already cleared out Sebastian decided to just enjoy the misery of his empty dorm room in peace.

By the time he got to practice he was just itching to rip someone's head off. As luck would have it, he ran into Trent who was always one of his favorite victims, outside the auditorium.

"Good morning, Sebastian," Trent said timidly as he prayed that the other teen would just grunt at him and otherwise ignore him. He wouldn't have said anything at all, but he was worried that doing that would have been perceived as an affront.

"No Trent, it's not a good morning," Sebastian said in his coldest tone. "It's a bloody awful morning! It would rank fifth on a list of the Five Million Most Godawful Mornings in human history. The only single redeeming quality that this accursed morning has is that it mercifully dispelled the pile of putrid sputum and defecation that was last night. And now, here I stand at the pinnacle of one of the worst moments in existence - rancid wretchedness still wafting up from the previous hours - and I'm forced to look at your disgusting pie-hole and endure the banal cheerfulness seeping out of it like raw sewage. So no, Trent, it is _not_ a good morning."

Trent swallowed hard and opened the auditorium door for Sebastian. "Sorry Sebastian, it is very miserable today. Thanks for setting me straight."

Sebastian walked into the large hall, pleased that the other Warblers had already assembled and that by the cautious looks they were giving him they had also likely overheard at least the tail-end of his tirade at Trent. Insulting his heavyset, affable teammate had made him feel slightly better; it had helped him express some of his frustrations. He decided to capitalize on that feeling and dive right into a speech as he took the stage.

"As you will all recall from last week's rehearsal I said that we needed to focus on the future. That we should practice hard, work on our choreography and vocals, and keep one eye ever on our set list. I said that we shouldn't let our defeat at Regionals get us down. That next year we would blow our competition out of the water because we are the best high school glee club in the country." Sebastian looked around the room drawing nods of agreement and pride from everyone his gaze fell upon. When he had them all where he wanted them his lip curled up into a snarl of contempt. "I was wrong. Utterly and horribly wrong. The truth of the matter is that this glee club is a shambles! We'd be lucky to win against a team of drunken prison convicts. I'm completely ashamed and personally insulted by each and every one of you. Your dance routines look like constipated spasms and your vocals _sound_ like constipated spasms. To top it all off we are an all-boys group. Thus the whole point of our existence is to radiate sex appeal and get pulses racing. Alas, however, with only a few exceptions, most of you look less sexually inviting than the result of the aforementioned labored bowel movement I was discussing ̶ especially you, Trent. Honestly it's a toss up between you and a good firm turd.

"Now what you're going to do instead is re-do your performances, one-by-one the way you did them at Regionals and I'm going to sit here and try not to retch as I point out each and every mistake that you make. Then we're all going to redo the performance together and we're going keep redoing it until we sound like something that deserves to be on stage. _Then,_ and only then, will we cast our eyes to the future. Jeff, let's start with you; I'm in desperate need of a good laugh."

Sebastian's proclamation was met with a collective round of groans and grumbles, but no one had the nerve to actually challenge him outright. Instead Jeff reluctantly walked over to him and spoke in a low tone.

"Sebastian, we have that new guy auditioning today. Why don't we let him go first so that if he doesn't make it he won't have to stay."

Sebastian glared at Jeff before turning and looking around the room more carefully, unable to spot any unfamiliar faces.

"Where's the new guy?" Sebastian shouted. Everyone looked at each other hesitently like they couldn't decide if they should sell him out, but eventually Nick pointed off stage into the shadows. "Well come out if you're going to audition. Unless of course you're so repulsive you'd rather sing from behind the curtain."

A bulky teenager eventually began to slowly make his way out onto the stage. It wasn't until he finally stepped into the light that Sebastian realized who it was.

"I think this may have been a mistake," Dave Karofsky said as he tried not to look at Sebastian.

"What the hell are you doing here, Karofsky?" Sebastian demanded as he strode across the stage to speak with him more directly.

"I transferred to Dalton after I...After...Well after. I needed a fresh start at a new school and Dalton has a zero tolerance policy on bullying. I needed some more extracurriculars on my transcript and I actually kinda had fun last year when Coach Bieste made the football team sing so I thought I'd try the glee club here.

"Fine," Sebastian said simply as he continued staring down the former lineman. "But don't think I'm going to cut you any slack just because you tried to pussy out on life. You'll have to earn your way just like everyone else, and I'm going to tell you exactly what I think about you."

Karofsky set his jaw and tried to rein in his anger. He had come a long way from bully to victim and now his main focus was on his recovery; however, he still found it difficult to keep his temper completely under wraps. "You don't need to tell me what you think of me. You already told me once, and believe me, I still remember. I don't think I want to hear it again. I don't need this. I'm just gonna go."

"Of course you are," Sebastian declared in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear as Karofsky started to walk away. "Of course you're just going to wimp out and not even try. It's because you're too much of a coward to do anything you actually want to do. You're just a weak little girl with too much body fat and no neck. You never actually _try_ to do anything. You just give up and take the easy way out regardless of the stakes. We damn well don't need you on this team so just get your suicidal ass out of here."

"Dude, that's way out of line," Nick snapped as he rushed across the stage and stepped in between Sebastian and Karofsky.

"I am not a coward!" Karofsky thundered as as he glared at Sebastian over Nick's shoulder, his hands balling into fists. His bullying days may have been over, but so were his victim days and he certainly wasn't going to stand there and take anymore flack from Sebastian.

"Dave, just calm down man," Nick said frantically as he whirled around and turned his attention to the larger teen. "Don't hit him. You _will_ get expelled, even though it is the weekend. Especially if you hit _him._"

"What's that supposed to mean? That he can say and do whatever he wants and everyone else just has to take it?" Karofsky demanded.

"That's exactly right, Karofsky, now get out of my auditorium," Sebastian ordered as he raised his arm and pointed to the doors.

Karofsky huffed in a sharp breath and started trying to push Nick out of the way. The lighter boy frantically clung to him trying to stop him from getting himself kicked out of his new school. He and Jeff had tried to take Dave under their wing and help him get his bearings, but they hadn't known he and Sebastian had some kind of hostile history between them when they recommended he try out for the Warblers. They also hadn't countered on Sebastian's demon-spawn personality resurfacing so abruptly. He had slowly been mellowing out and had even been fairly nice the previous week.

"That's not what I meant at all," Nick assured his new buddy, relieved that a couple of the other guys had finally stepped up and were tentatively trying to restrain the angry jock. "I just meant that Sebastian is _really _litigious. His dad's a lawyer. No way will he let is slide."

"Why don't you just prove me wrong, Chubby Checker," Sebastian taunted. "If you're not a coward then just fucking sing something and quit posturing like some kind of bloated peacock."

"Fuck this. I don't care if this is the most prestigious group at this school. I'm gone," Karofsky turned and pushed his way off the stage, the other Warblers urgently scrambling to get out of his way as he made his exit.

"Jeff, start singing," Sebastian ordered calmly as soon as Karofsky had slammed the door behind him.

The blond started to walk toward the middle of the stage as instructed, but Nick grabbed his arm, stopping him and giving Sebastian a hard glare.

"Sebastian, that was seriously messed up. He's been through a lot and it's not okay to hassle him like that right now. Besides it's one thing to shoot your mouth off to the rest of us, we're used to it, but you're giving Dalton and the Warblers a bad name by being such a dick to newbies."

There was a tentative murmur of agreement throughout the room, but everyone promptly hushed as their irate leader glared at each of them in turn.

"You all make me sick," Sebastian declared with a sneer. "Practice is over. Go flush yourselves down the nearest toilet."

**-000-**

**End Note: So this is the first really Dalton heavy chapter, and the first time several new characters got speaking parts. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'm very interested in hearing what you thought of Sam and Sebastian's falling out as well as the way each of them handled it. My apologizes if Sebastian's rants this chapter did offend anyone.**

**Regarding the beginning scene with young Sebastian getting ready for his mom's funeral and interacting with his brother and father, that was originally going to contrast with a Sebastian/Michael and Sebastian/Quentin scene I had planned for this chapter. I didn't quite get to those scenes though, so instead it just makes another little chunk of his back story. On the bright side (well bright if you like Michael and Quentin scenes), those will be in the next chapter. I'm still interested in learning what you all thought of the sad little first scene though.**

**Anyway, I hope all the American readers enjoy their turkey day (vegetarian here, so I'll be having a delicious faux turkey), and as for the international readers, I hope you get a chance to fix yourselves something tasty and enjoy your day as well :-)**


	13. Chapter 13: Warning

**What I Want**

**A/N: Here's the newest chapter, unlucky number 13! I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Chapter 13 – Warning**

_****Then****_

"What are you smirking about?" Michael asked with a sneer as he took another sip of his drink.

"Oh nothing," Sebastian answered innocently as he folded his arms and watched with glee over his brother's shoulder as their father approached, an angry expression already on his face.

"You're such an asswipe," Michael stated with an eye roll. His evening was already bad enough without his aggravating little brother making ridiculous faces at him. Their father was throwing a large, fancy party at which he would be formally announcing his engagement to a woman young enough to be Michael and Sebastian's older sister. As if that weren't bad enough, Michael was pretty sure his glass of champagne had fewer bubbles in it than the girl's head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Quentin demanded as he came up behind his older son and yanked the half-empty champagne flute from his hand.

Sebastian snickered and Michael shot him an angry glare before turning and addressing his father. "Just having a little drink, dad. Geez, relax."

"Oh yeah, great idea, Mike. I'm a prominent attorney, so why not let hundreds of guests witness my underage son drinking," Quentin retorted still frowning at the boy.

"Whatever," Michael said dismissively with another eye roll as he turned to walk off. He knew his father wouldn't cause a scene at the party.

"Wait," Quentin ordered as he grabbed his son's arm. "Go and find Vanessa. I'm ready to make the announcement."

"Me?!" Michael demanded indignantly. "I can't stand that stupid bitch. Make Seb find her."

Sebastian started to object but his father spoke before he had the chance.

"Sebastian isn't currently being a massive embarrassment to me. Now shut your mouth and go and find her unless you want to spend the next month staring at your bedroom wall."

Sebastian gave his brother another smirk and laughed quietly to himself as the older boy reluctantly stormed off to do as he had been told.

"Come on, Sebastian, in the meantime I want to introduce you to some of the guys I work with," Quentin said as he clapped his hand over his younger son's shoulder and led him away.

"Fucking little bitch," Michael muttered to himself as he looked around for Vanessa. After three trips around the perimeter of the room he still hadn't found her. However, as he finished his third pass he was pleased to spot a different, more welcome face.

"Hey Melinda," Michael called as he approached the maid who was presently carrying a towering stack of dirty hors d'oeuvre plates. The party was being catered which meant she didn't have to deal with the cooking, nor the serving, but she still quite literally had her hands full keeping the event clean and tidy. Michael carefully took half the stack of plates from her.

"Hi there, Mr. Michael," Melinda answered with a warm smile, appreciative that her favorite Smythe had shown up to help lighten her load. Duty compelled her to object nevertheless. "Please don't trouble yourself with those, sir. Just enjoy the party. I've got them."

Michael snorted out a derisive laugh as he led the way to the kitchen. "Like I'm going to enjoy _this_ party. Besides, dad has me looking for Slutface so he can make his 'big announcement.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Michael," Melinda said sympathetically and quite honestly. She _was_ sorry, very sorry. Sorry that vacuous bitch was marrying into the Smythe family and single-handedly doubling its level of spoiled shallowness – no easy task in her estimation considering Mr. Smythe and his younger son.

"Meh," Michael shrugged dismissively. "Any idea where she went off to? I just want to get this over with."

Melinda stopped walking and leaned in conspiratorially. "Actually I saw her go into the kitchen awhile ago."

"Oh good lord, she must have been lost!" Michael remarked, wondering if the spoiled party girl had ever even seen the inside of a kitchen before.

Melinda smiled and fought the urge to giggle as she continued. "That's why I was gathering up so many plates before I went back in. I was hoping if I waited..."

Michael laughed out loud, delighted by the rare display of what amounted to candor for the ordinarily exceedingly polite and taciturn maid. "Got it. But she still hasn't come out yet, huh?"

"No sir, she hasn't," Melinda confirmed as her briefly jovial mood shifted to one of anxiety and she cast a nervous glance at the large, swinging wooden door they were approaching.

"Hand me the rest of those plates," Michael instructed, taking pity on the woman. She wasn't even officially Vanessa's servant yet and she had already become her favorite punching bag. "No sense in both of us going in. At least I can tell her what I think of her."

Melinda hesitated a moment, feeling as though she should courteously decline the offer and accept her responsibility. Relief and self-preservation quickly won out however, and she gratefully handed the teenager the rest of the dishes. "Thank you, Mr. Michael."

"Sure," the boy said casually as he pushed the door open with his foot and entered the large kitchen.

"Oh fuck!" Michael yelled as he immediately located Vanessa. She was lying on her back on the room's center island, naked from the waist down and legs spread wide. Only the presence of the back of the head of one of the cater waiters prevented Michael from seeing quite a bit more of the young woman than he wanted to.

"Oh god!" the waiter, who couldn't have been much older than Michael himself, exclaimed as he scrambled to his feet. He had the presence of mind to remove his hand from his pants and zip himself back up before turning around.

"Get out!" Michael shouted, barely managing to resist the urge to throw down the stack of plates he was holding in anger and disgust. Instead he roughly shoved them onto a nearby countertop while continuing to give the waiter a blood-chilling glare.

"Uhh," the server hesitated, glancing down at his tented pants and hastily trying to re-button his partially open shirt. He knew he couldn't exactly rejoin the party as is and casually go about his job without attracting attention.

"Not my problem, asshole!" Michael growled as he grabbed the young man by the front of his shirt and shoved him toward the door. He half-hoped the horny hired-hand would struggle and give him a reason to lash out with his fists, but alas the frightened server wasted no more time in bolting from the room.

"Michael dear, it's not what you think," Vanessa rushed to explain as she covered herself with her dress and started looking around for her panties.

"Oh really? Well what was it then?" Michael demanded as he himself spotted the discarded underwear on the floor near the island and looked pointedly at them.

"Ah, thanks hun," Vanessa answered playfully as she turned around and picked up the item in question, slowly pulling them back on and intentionally flashing her ass at Michael in the process. If she could wiggle her way out of this situation with seduction then she was more than willing to do it. Especially since the waiter hadn't quite taken her where she needed to go. Besides, she found her soon-to-be stepson more than a little attractive.

"Christ Vanessa, quit being such a skank," Michael reproached as he averted his eyes.

Vanessa frowned, displeased at his reaction, but she quickly persisted in her excuse. "Really though this is all a misunderstanding. You're going to laugh when you hear the explanation."

"That'll be a welcome change from wanting to gauge my eyes out."

"Dylan was...was helping me look for...um my earring," Vanessa said slowly as she tried to flesh out an excuse. "See after I dropped it, I was worried I might step on it, so I climbed onto the island, and he thought it might have rolled underneath so he got on his hands and knees to look."

Michael cocked an incredulous eyebrow at her, amazed that this was the story she was going with. "I see. And then when he didn't find it on the floor he decided to check inside your vagina with his tongue?"

"Exactly!" Vanessa exclaimed. Hoping once again to steer things toward seduction, she lifted the edge of her dress. "Would you like to take a look and see if you can find it, Michael?...You don't have to use your tongue."

"You are the most disgusting slut in Ohio," Michael answered with a grimace as he shook his head and turned to leave.

"Fuck! I thought you were the straight one!" Vanessa cursed in frustration, unable to figure out why her plan had failed. She usually found offers of sex to be remarkably effective in getting what she wanted from men.

Michael stormed through the crowded party and straight toward where his father and brother were standing near the elegant staircase which led to the house's second story. Michael knew that his father, ever mindful of the chance for positive publicity, most likely intended to partially climb the stairs with Vanessa by his side to make his big announcement. Undoubtedly Michael and Sebastian were to be a few steps down, making the perfect 'family' photo op for the social columns and his company newsletter.

"Dad, you have to call this off _now,_" Michael insisted as he glanced back and saw that Vanessa was also rushing through the crowd toward them.

"What the hell are you talking about, Mike? Call what off?"

"The engagement!" Michael snapped.

Quentin's eyes shot wide open with surprise and fury. "Keep your voice down!" He whispered angrily. "I don't want people to find out until we make the formal announcement."

"Dad, she was just in the kitchen getting eaten out."

"She was having take out?" Quentin asked in confusion trying to make sense of what his son was telling him.

Michael sighed with frustration. "Not take out, she was getting _eaten out. _By a waiter."

"Cunnilingus dad," Sebastian interjected helpfully. He had no idea what his brother was trying to do, but he was intrigued to watch it play out.

"I know what it is," Quentin answered with annoyance. "But that's impossible."

"It is unthinkable," Sebastian agreed with a shudder.

"Don't listen to him!" Vanessa shouted as she reached the others. "He's, he's uh...He's drunk!"

Vanessa had to resist the urge to smile at what she perceived as her quick thinking. She was pleased with her lie. She had in fact seen the teen sneaking alcohol earlier, and she hoped if Quentin smelled his breath he would still be able to find traces of it.

Quentin's eyes narrowed on his son. His fiancée's explanation certainly seemed more plausible to him than his son's.

"Damnit Michael! You couldn't just pretend to be a decent human being for one goddamn night could you?! You had to try to ruin things by drinking and making up wild stories. Go up to your room right now. You're grounded until further notice."

"This is unfuckingbelievable!" Michael screamed in rage, promptly silencing the room and drawing everyone's attention to the family argument. "You're about to get engaged to a fucking gold-digging slut and you're grounding me for trying to warn you about it?!"

"Michael, lower your voice this instant and do as you're told," Quentin growled in a low, angry whisper. "You're embarrassing yourself and this family."

"Fuck the family and fuck you too, dad!" Micheal yelled back, taking dark pleasure in the way Quentin writhed slightly under the critical gaze of the roomful of party-goers.

"He's not drunk and I think he's telling the truth," Sebastian whispered to his father.

"Stay out of this, Seb. You always side with each other," Quentin admonished. "Go to your room, Mike. _Now_."

"Really though. I think he means it," Sebastian insisted. It was true that he would have sided with Michael anyway, especially if this was some kind of plot to get rid of Vanessa, but Sebastian was good at reading people, especially his father and brother, and he was reasonably sure that Michael was being honest.

"Fine!" Michael shouted as he pushed past his father and climbed the steps. Just as Quentin opened his mouth to apologize to their guests Michael spun around and addressed the crowd himself. "Hey everyone! If anyone's horny just give that nasty, cheap whore my dad is about to announce his engagement to a call."

**-000-**

_****Now****_

"Hey dude," Finn greeted Blaine as he opened the front door, before looking speculatively at the bag of groceries the former Warbler was holding. Unless Finn was much mistaken he detected ice cream. "Kurt's not here. He got up early to go practice for his NYADA audition."

"Hi Finn, I know. But actually I'm here to see Sam," Blaine explained as he stepped into the house.

"Ohh, uh, okay. I don't know if he's up yet, but go ahead." Finn was curious about why Blaine was paying Sam a visit on a Saturday morning, but he was even more curious about the creamy treat he could clearly discern through the semi-translucent plastic bag. "You want me to take that ice cream to the freezer and maybe keep an eye on it for you?"

Blaine laughed and shook his head. "Thanks, but I think I got it."

Blaine proceeded down the hallway to Sam's bedroom door and knocked a few times. Moments later a groggy and still-shirtless Sam opened the door.

"Hey Blaine, what's up?" Sam inquired as he blinked at the other boy trying to make sense of the situation. "Did I forget about some plans or something?"

"Nah, nothing like that," Blaine responded as he forced himself to resist the urge to check out Sam's bare torso and instead maintained eye contact. "I just thought maybe you could use a friend today."

"Thanks man, but I don't think I'd be good company today," Sam answered. He was touched by the fact that Blaine, the only person who knew about his break up with Sebastian, was trying to comfort him, but he nevertheless felt a stronger desire to simply get back in bed and pull the covers over his head.

"That's okay, you don't have to be," Blaine assured him as he stepped through the door, but then paused and raised a hand to playfully pat at some of Sam's unruly blond tufts. "Wow Sam, your hair's almost as bad as mine in the morning," he gently teased.

Sam chuckled softly, only mildly embarrassed. "Yeah, rough night last night," he answered in a quiet voice as he once again felt a flash of pain at the thought of all that had happened with Sebastian the day before.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Blaine said sympathetically as he wrapped an arm around Sam's bare shoulders and gave him a couple of gentle squeezes. "But that's what I'm here about."

"About Sebastian?" Sam asked feeling another twinge of pain as he shut the door and then walked back across the room to his bed to take a seat.

"Yeah," Blaine confirmed, taking a seat next to him. "I want to teach you something important."

Sam eyed Blaine sceptically. He wasn't really in the mood to learn anything new today, but he felt obliged to humor Blaine and at least inquire what he had in mind. "What's that?"

"I'm here to teach you how to get over a guy," Blaine answered with a confident grin and head nod. He wasn't entirely sure he would be able to actually help Sam, but he knew he had to try, and he figured taking a positive stance would be a good start.

"Isn't it like getting over a girl?" Sam asked, at a loss for what Blaine was trying to get at.

"Nah," Blaine answered with another small smile. "If you were getting over a girl, you'd probably just sit around moping all day, and then maybe go out with Finn and Puck tonight and hook up with a new girl."

Sam nodded, he hadn't really given it much thought but that certainly sounded like a suitable approach.

"Ah, but that's not how you should get over a guy," Blaine corrected.

"It's not?" Sam asked, wondering what the difference was.

"Nope, see people who break up with guys have a completely different approach," Blaine answered playfully as he decided it was time to bring out the heavy artillery. He opened his grocery bag and pulled out the Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream.

"Oh, uh thanks anyway, but I kinda watch what I eat," Sam said self-consciously. His head hurt just trying to figure out how many crunches it would take to burn off the extra fat and calories Blaine was offering him. "Gotta stay in shape."

"Of course you do," Blaine agreed with a nod, already having anticipated this complaint. "And you do a great job too. Trust me, it's all I can do not to stare at your abs right now." It was true after all and Blaine figured Sam could use the compliment. "So you go to the gym and work out hard, and you stay fit ninety-nine percent of the time, but you don't have to worry about any of that right now, because today is a 'free day.'"

"A free day?" Sam asked cocking his head to the side.

"Yeah, see whenever a person is having boy trouble all foods automatically have zero calories in them and you're allowed to eat as much as you want without gaining any weight."

Sam rolled the statement around in his head as he studied the ice cream carton Blaine was still holding up. "I don't think that's a real thing," he said suspiciously after a little while.

"Sure it is," Blaine insisted. "Plus there's another bonus you'll really like!"

"What's that?"

"You get to eat the ice cream in a really gross way that's also really good, and even though it's disgustingly deliciously, I'm not allowed to be grossed out by it." Blaine reached into his bag for the second part of his junk food combo and pulled out a large bag of Sam's favorite chips. "I was thinking you might want to dip Cool Ranch Doritos in it."

Sam's eyes lit up as he eyed the chips and then looked back at the ice cream. He never could resist the allure of Cool Ranch Doritos. "Okay, I admit that does sound completely gross and AMAZING, but I don't see how it's going to help me get over Sebastian."

"Well that's the most important part," Blaine explained as he handed Sam the bag of chips and then popped the top on the Ben & Jerry's, before retrieving the final item, spoons, from the bag. "While we eat you complain about all the stupid, mean, insensitive stuff Sebastian did and we both agree that he doesn't deserve you and that you can do much better."

Sam opened the bag of chips and pulled one out as he looked at the irresistible layer of ice cream.

"Do we have to watch chick flicks too?" Sam asked before tentatively dipping the first chip into the dairy treat.

"Well, that is traditional, but if you want we can just watch Avatar or X-Men instead."

"Dude, you're like the best bro ever!" Sam exclaimed as he bumped shoulders with Blaine and fully gave himself over to Blaine's plan. Moments later he was chowing down on the ice cream covered chip, delighting in its crunchy, sweet goodness. "Okay so Sebastian is such a jerk that the first time we ever even kissed it was because he was blackmailing Finn..."

**-000-**

Sebastian glanced at his ringing cellphone as he walked through the front door of his house. He cringed as he saw the number and briefly debated walking back outside, getting in his car, and leaving again. If his father wanted to talk to him then chances were he didn't want to hear it. However, after the abysmal failure that had been Warbler practice that morning he decided that his day couldn't get much worse anyway. He reluctantly clicked ignore, but then made his way to his father's study.

"Who is it?" the harsh voice of Quentin Smythe demanded as Sebastian rapped on the heavy wooden door.

"Sebastian," the teen answered, already wishing he had chosen option number one instead. He could have been on his way to the Lima Bean for a nice cup of coffee right now.

"Get in here!" Quentin yelled, surprised but pleased at the unexpected turn of events. This way Sebastian couldn't hang up on him.

"Hi dad. You called?" Sebastian inquired as he shut the door behind him and took a seat in one of the chairs facing his father's desk.

"I've just been on the phone with the Dalton headmaster, Mr. Montgomery," Quentin revealed, watching for Sebastian's reaction. Predictably his son's face remained an impassive mask at the news.

"And how is he?" Sebastian asked with feigned politeness when his father didn't immediately continue and a response became necessary.

"Mad," Quentin answered, still waiting for any kind of indication that Sebastian was getting worried or anxious. In the back of his mind Quentin was somewhat proud of Sebastian's unwavering composure. It would serve him well as an attorney some day.

"Yes, I think so too," Sebastian agreed. "They really ought to do some kind of psychiatric evaluation before hiring senior school staff."

"He's mad because you verbally harassed the school's entire glee club and specifically targeted a new student whom you knew had serious emotional problems and who is in a very vulnerable state."

Sebastian absorbed the information for a moment before responding. "Ah, I see. So we can definitively rule out a genetic predisposition for madness in the man then?"

"Sebastian," Quentin warned in a sharp voice. "Quit making jokes and tell me why you did it? Do you have any idea how serious this is? Mr. Montgomery is considering a number of very serious sanctions against you. At best you'll get an official reprimand and a mark against your record. At worst you'll end up removed from the Warblers entirely and may get a school suspension. It's remotely possible you'll even get expelled for harassment."

"I didn't _harass_ anyone," Sebastian replied indignantly. "I was no worse than any coach trying to motivate his team. Yes, I may have vigorously challenged them to be their best-"

"By comparing them to excrement," Quentin interjected, repeating what the headmaster had told him.

Sebastian conceded the point with a nod, "and yes I may have given special attention to the new student but-"

"Sebastian, cut the crap," Quentin ordered. "Save it for the review board. Now _why_ were you so angry and abusive toward your organization? You lost Regionals more than a week ago and have already had other practices since. Why are you suddenly so hellbent on punishing them now instead of getting back to business as usual? And why be so mean to a new student who wasn't even responsible for the defeat?"

Sebastian sighed and finally allowed a frown to form on his face. This had rapidly become a gigantic mess. He needed some time to come up with a plan for dealing with all this Warbler drama. The last thing he wanted to do was discuss all of this with his father when he could better use the time and energy for more productive purposes. Still his father's cooperation might be necessary since the beginnings of all of the vague ideas that were forming in his mind thus far involved the man making a large donation to the school and to the Warblers specifically. Besides perhaps if he continued the conversation just long enough to shift the focus into sufficiently 'gay' territory maybe his father would simply become uncomfortable, write a check, and tell him to handle it from there.

"I know the new student. He's a closet case. A self-loathing gay kid who can't deal with his problems in a healthy way. Besides, he's come on to me in the past, and believe me he's not my type. If he wants to try out for the Warblers, then I need to let him know how it's going to be and I also need him to prove that he can handle the pressure without falling apart and trying to kill himself again. He's too weak. We don't need people like him in the club, or even at the school. Dalton is far too progressive for his little mind to handle. I was just culling the herd so to speak."

"So you were being harder on him because he's gay, and has a problem with other gays?" Quentin summed up.

"Yes," Sebastian agreed. Quentin arched his eyebrows and a self-satisfied smirk settled on his face, letting Sebastian know that he had apparently lost some ground in the discussion. Sebastian quickly reassessed the conversation and saw the implicit point his father was making. "_I_ don't have a problem with gay people. I was picking on him because he's pathetic, not because he's gay."

"And why were you being so hard on everyone else?"

Sebastian shrugged and frowned again. "I've been having a bad couple of days. Their ineptitude offended me."

"Ah, so you mean you weren't dealing with your problems in a healthy way," Quentin remarked with another smirk as he delivered the second half of his winning argument.

Sebastian gritted his teeth and forced his temper back in check. "Don't be a smart ass, dad. I get it. You shot holes in my excuse. Congratulations, you just lawyered your seventeen-year-old son. You must be very proud of yourself."

"Well, you're evidently not in top form, so I won't let the victory go to my head," Quentin remarked with a sardonic smile. "So what happened to cause this omnipresent bad mood of yours?"

"I broke up with a guy. I'm sure you're dying to hear all about it," Sebastian answered sarcastically.

"Yes, I am," Quentin agreed calmly without a trace of sarcasm. "Tell me about it."

"What?" Sebastian asked incredulously. "Since when are you so comfortable with my sex life? Would you like to hear the details about that as well?"

Quentin sighed and braced himself. "Yes, if it's pertinent to the situation we can discuss it in a non-lewd manner."

Sebastian stared at the man, trying to make sense of his uncharacteristic behavior. There had to be some kind of catch, some ulterior motive the Sebastian hadn't figured out yet.

"Seb, look, let me level with you."

Sebastian's guards automatically went up further. Whenever his father 'leveled with him' he took it as a warning that the man had a bigger endgame strategy in mind, but just what was his father's scheme here?

"I've been doing quite a bit of thinking over the past week. Thinking about you, Michael, myself. I even saw my therapist for two extra sessions last week to discuss things. I'm very glad that I convinced your brother to stay in school full-time and got him back on track for law school. I'm also grateful to you for helping me. However, for once I'm more concerned about the downside of my actions. I'm worried I may really have done irreparable damage to mine and Michael's relationship this time. I also regret destroying your relationship with him as collateral damage."

Sebastian's brain whirled as he tried to make sense of both what his father was saying and what he _wasn't_ saying. Did this mean he somehow suspected that he and Michael had outmaneuvered him. Was he trying to trick Sebastian into tipping his hand and letting something slip?

"My analyst thinks that part of the problem is that I'm unable to meet you boys on your own terms. That I," Quentin took a deep breath before continuing, leaving Sebastian wondering if the gesture was an intentionally feigned marker of stress that he was using to mislead Sebastian or if it was genuine. "That I try to control things too much. Basically that I talk and make demands when I should be listening and offering support. So I'm listening, Sebastian. I want to help. Tell me what happened with Sam."

"With Sam?" Sebastian asked wide-eyed, his impervious facade slipping completely in surprise. How did his father know it had been with Sam? How did his father know _anything _about Sam?

"Yes, I assume that's the guy you mean. He came for a visit last Monday. How do you think he got your school address?"

Sebastian's brow furrowed as he realized that he hadn't considered that before. His guess would have been that Blaine had given him enough information to get to campus and that he had then asked someone on school grounds what room Sebastian was in. It certainly hadn't occurred to him that his father had handed it out.

"He seemed really serious about you, Sebastian. I'm surprised, but pleased, to see that evidently you were serious about him too."

"Yeah, I got hurt. Woo hoo."

"At least you cared enough to get hurt. I wasn't sure you were even capable of that."

"Gee thanks, Dad. You sure are nailing this new sensitive father thing."

Quentin smiled. "Sorry, old habits and all that. So do you want this boy back or do you want revenge...or neither?"

Sebastian was silent for a moment as he considered the question. Part of him most definitely wanted the revenge, but another part was still feeling that horrible new emotion of guilt that dating Sam had apparently instilled in him. He knew that he had hurt Sam; hurting him more would only make the guilt worse. But all these feelings were far too strong to just let go of completely.

"I want him back," Sebastian announced as he looked up at his father. He still felt like he was falling into some kind of trap the man had set, but he was too emotionally drained to give the situation the analysis it needed to be fully worked out.

"Good," Quentin declared in response. "I think I like him more than most of the guys you mess around with. Anyway, if you want him back, it shouldn't be particularly difficult for you."

"Oh really? Because actually I have no idea how to go about accomplishing it," Sebastian snapped, angry that his father apparently wasn't going to actually help.

"Come on, Seb. He seemed like a simple enough boy. I'm sure you can outwit him. Besides isn't he poor? Just buy him something nice."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and sighed again. It had indeed been naïve to think his father might have had any useful advice. He certainly didn't need the man to suggest intrigue and bribery as a means for getting what he wanted; those were Sebastian's fallback strategies anyway.

"Now, this situation with the school, I trust you can handle it?" Quentin asked, getting back to business and mentally patting himself on the back for being such a good father.

"Yes, I'm sure I can come up with something," Sebastian assured him, though he didn't actually know what yet.

"Good. Just let me know if I need to write a check, but remember it's coming out of your allowance until it's paid for."

Sebastian resisted the urge to laugh out loud at the empty threat. Things were always supposedly going to be coming out of his allowance, but they never actually did.

"Yes sir, I understand," Sebastian answered in his most contrite tone of voice. "I'm sorry for my actions. Thank you for helping me."

As his son left the room, Quentin smiled to himself and pretended that the boy had meant his parting words. That was certainly one of the major differences between Sebastian and Michael. Sebastian was at least willing to put on a good show when it mattered. He at least gave Quentin something to work with instead of perpetually being a rude, loudmouth like his brother. As Quentin continued reflecting on the differences between his two boys he decided that perhaps if Sebastian really could make the problem go away and get it solved without costing him _too_ much money, maybe he would forgo docking Sebastian's allowance after all as a sign of good faith.

As he pondered things further, Quentin picked up his cell phone and scrolled to his secretary's number. He was unconcerned about the fact that it was Saturday. Part of the reason he paid her so much was because he expected her to be available on nights and weekends in addition to business hours.

"Hello Stacey, listen I have a project for you..."

**-000-**

"You think eventually Sebastian would have watched _Avatar_ with me?" Sam asked as he scraped up the last of the ice cream from the bottom of the container with a particularly well-rounded Dorito. Being polite he held the drenched chip out for Blaine.

Blaine hesitated for a moment before reacting. He was as much contemplating whether he wanted to eat the last chocolatey chip or insist that Sam take it, as he was pondering the blond's verbal question. After a moment he accepted the proffered treat, putting the entire thing in his mouth in one large bite.

Blaine had to admit he was having more fun at this little impromptu pity party than he had expected. The comfort food he had planned for their afternoon had turned out to be surprisingly tasty, and eating it with Sam did have certain advantages. For instance though their fingers were covered in chocolate and 'Cool Ranch dust,' as Sam liked to call it, and their mouths and lips were equally stained and sticky, Blaine felt a lot less self-conscious in his messy state than he would have with Kurt or one of the girls. Plus Sam's ability to talk back to the Avatar characters in Na'vi, while mimicking the other characters' voices was absolutely hilarious.

"I think he would have enjoyed himself if he had watched it with you," Blaine answered, hedging slightly. He had no idea whether or not the Warbler captain would have been willing to sit down and watch in the first place.

"You wanna hear something dumb?" Sam asked with downcast eyes.

"What's that?" Blaine prompted.

"If he liked the movie I was planning to translate a song into Na'vi and sing it to him," Sam admitted, feeling a fresh wave of pain roll over him.

"That's not dumb, Sam. That's one of the most thoughtful ideas I've ever heard," Blaine answered as he brushed his shoulder against Sam's.

"You know, this whole being with a guy thing was really confusing at first, but after I got used to the idea, I sort started to see some advantages," Sam said before pausing and licking some spicy ice cream off his fingers.

"Like what?" Blaine asked, curious to know what Sam would consider an advantage.

"Well, like Avatar," Sam said, pointing at the screen. "None of my girlfriends would watch it with me and they all thought it was lame, especially Santana, but lots of guys like it. I was hoping Sebastian would be into it too."

"Maybe," Blaine answered, doubting it would have actually been Sebastian's cup of tea but not wanting to disappoint Sam.

"I guess like other guy stuff too. Like we had fun playing video games and stuff."

"Sebastian played video games with you?" Blaine asked, surprised.

"Yeah, last week at his dorm. He wasn't real good at first, but then he got into it more and started getting really competitive," Sam explained.

Blaine nodded. The competitive part sounded more like Sebastian. Perhaps Sam could have gotten him to watch _Avatar _just by betting him he couldn't learn all the character names or something.

"It was cool how sexual he was too," Sam confided. "We'd make sex bets about who would get high scores and stuff. It was stupid, but really hot and fun."

"Well, you know, Sam, if you enjoyed dating a guy, Sebastian certainly isn't the only one out there who would be interested. Believe me, you could have practically any gay or bi guy you wanted."

"But he's the only guy I've ever had those feelings for," Sam explained, feeling a fresh sense of loss all over again. "There was just something about him. He-"

Sam was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing nearby on the bed. Both boys read the name on the display at the same time, but before Sam could react Blaine snatched it off the duvet.

"Blaine, gimme that!" Sam insisted as he lunged for the device only to have Blaine lean back and hold it just out of reach.

"I will. I'm not trying to stop you. I just want you to think before you answer it," Blaine said as he slowly lowered his arm and held the ringing object out to Sam. "Do you really want to answer it? Do you really want to talk to him right now?"

"Maybe he has an explanation for everything," Sam suggested hopefully as he took the phone and poised his thumb over the answer button.

"I bet he does," Blaine agreed. "And that's the problem. Sebastian is _always_ going to have an explanation, but that doesn't mean you should listen to it."

A few moments later the ringing stopped and a look of disappointment flashed across Sam's face as he realized his decision had been made for him.

"Damnit, he hung up!" Sam exclaimed as he tossed the phone across the bed.

"It probably just sent him to voicemail," Blaine corrected.

"Voicemail! Yeah, maybe he'll leave a message," Sam said hopefully as he threw himself across the bed to retrieve the discarded item. "If he leaves a message it's okay for me to call him back, right?"

Blaine's forehead furrowed in distress. He had thought Sam was making some progress, but one phone call from Sebastian had shattered everything. Blaine hated how much control Sebastian exercised over Sam. In fact Blaine was all around sick of Sebastian altogether. He hated the way the manipulative asshole had caused trouble between him and Kurt, how he had created problems for so many of Blaine's friends, and especially for Sam. What Blaine really hated though was that he himself had been the link that had led Sebastian to all of these people in the first place.

"Sam, I think you should put Sebastian behind you. I know you can't just forget about him, but try to move on, okay?" Blaine said gently as he squeezed Sam's arm.

"But...I really like him," Sam said as his face contorted in anguish and Blaine noticed a telltale glistening in the blond's green eyes.

"I know," Blaine said softly, pulling Sam in for a long hug.

**-000-**

"Fuck!" Sebastian whisper-cursed as he tossed his phone onto his bed. Sam was ignoring his calls, and the most pathetic part of the whole situation was that Sebastian wasn't even sure what he would have said if Sam had answered. He just wanted to _talk_ to Sam, wanted to apologize for what he had done. Sebastian was far too proud to ever consider _begging_ Sam to take him back, but had he actually gotten to speak with him there was certainly the possibility that he would have done some very persistent asking.

He kept replaying events from the week before over in his head. Sebastian didn't think any of this was fair. That version of him, the one from last week, had actually gone out of his way to treat Sam well. He had played those stupid video games with him, indulged him in all his ridiculous conversations, held him and kissed him. Hell he had even helped him study and been patient with him when he didn't immediately understand something. Sebastian didn't have any firsthand knowledge of what being a good boyfriend entailed, but he damn well thought he had met the criteria. It was completely unreasonable that Sam had broken up with _that_ version of him, the one that had actually cared about him, the one that felt panicked about their break up.

No, Sam should have broken up with the _other_ Sebastian. The one who had lied to him and used him, and didn't give a shit about his feelings. That would have been fine. Sebastian would have blamed Sam for breaking up with that Sebastian and he certainly wouldn't have been bothered about the break up. Why the fuck had Sam broken up with the wrong Sebastian? If he was going to end things why hadn't he just ended them when Sebastian wanted to end them? Why had he gone out of his way to lure Sebastian into a goddamn_ relationship_ just to fucking turn on him? Why was Sam torturing him with all these confusing new emotions?

_Remorse._ That was what Sebastian felt. It was a mostly unfamiliar emotion, one he had never particularly paid attention to before, but now suddenly it was overwhelming. Sebastian didn't just regret that fact that Sam had learned the truth and dumped him; he felt _remorse_ that he had lied to Sam in the first place. Sam was hot and sweet and good, and Sebastian had fucked it all up with his goddamn lies. He had hurt the only person he had actually given a fuck about in years.

Sebastian felt his eyes starting to water but quickly clenched his jaw to stem the flow. The night before as he had lain awake in bed he had promised himself that that was the end of his tears. He had vowed that when he woke up he would be the _old_ Sebastian again, the one that didn't care. Unfortunately he hadn't actually slept at all, and thus he hadn't woken up. So maybe technically it was okay to still feel this way after all.

Sebastian let out a frustrated groan. He could solve almost anything in terms of academics, he was gifted at music, solid at most games, even competent at athletics, but this, these _feelings_ weren't something he had any idea how to sort out - and he was fucking neck deep in them. Sebastian was a person of action, even if the action in question was merely forming a strategy and setting a plan in motion, it was something tangible that he could set his mind too. Sitting around _feeling_ wasn't going to do any good. He had to _do_ something to win Sam back.

_Okay Sebastian, enough of this helpless, star-crossed shit. Just get the dumbass back and quit whining. _

As Sebastian looked up, he happened to glance at his computer and an idea popped into his head. He and Sam had first started communicating via Facebook. Maybe if he messaged Sam through there instead he would have better luck.

Sebastian powered up his computer and logged onto Facebook, pulling up Sam's profile and staring at the message screen, wondering what magical words he could type to take back his mistakes. As he continued looking blankly at the screen he was startled when another message popped up, indicating he had a new instant message.

Michael: Hey bro, just got those Reds tickets in the mail from 'dad' for my birthday. Haha, awesome, I owe you one.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Ever since he had helped Michael get out of his problem with their father the weekend before his brother had been sending him odd messages. Odd in that they tended to be nice. At their best the boys had always traded neutral, fact based messages, usually in response to some situation involving their father or step-mother; at their worst their messages tended to be outright hostile and insulting. This pleasant banter Michael seemed to have been attempting to establish all week was completely foreign.

Sebastian: No problem. Enjoy.

Sebastian thought that would be the end of it. It certainly didn't call for a response. All he wanted to do now was return to contemplating his message to Sam. Instead he received another irritating pop up.

Michael: So how are things going? You talk to that guy from last week?

Sebastian glared at his screen. What the fuck?! The last thing he needed was his brother of all people reminding him of his failure.

Sebastian: Yes, I talked to him. We had a great week and then just when I trusted him, he dumped me and made me regret ever breathing. Thanks so much for asking 'bro'.

The next message popped up on his screen before Sebastian even had time to minimize the window.

Michael: I'll handle it.

Sebastian frowned and wished he had considered his previous message more carefully. He had been going for sarcastic and cold and had simply wanted Michael to leave him alone, but apparently his brother had been more focused on the part about Sam dumping him than the implied hostility. Upon further reflection Sebastian realized that Michael's express purpose in messaging him all along had probably been to check up on his relationship with Sam. He knew his brother had only barely been willing to forgo assaulting his semi-boyfriend the first time Sebastian had gotten hurt. He had probably spent the week spoiling for an excuse to hire a couple of thugs and show Sam how pissed off he got when people crossed 'his family.' Geez, his brother could be such a small-town mafioso sometimes.

Sebastian: Don't even think about 'handling it' or I'll come clean to dad about our whole scheme from last week. I'm the one who fucked up, not Sam. Just leave him the hell alone.

Michael's next message took an infuriatingly long time to come through and Sebastian wasn't entirely sure how to interpret it when it finally did.

Michael: Fine I won't hit him. Talk to you later, Seb.

And with that his brother signed off, leaving Sebastian pondering all the other things Michael could still do to Sam without actually hitting him. After a few moments Sebastian groaned and shut his laptop, giving up completely on the idea of even sending Sam a Facebook message. Sebastian may have been new to sincere apologies, but he was pretty sure "Watch your back" wasn't exactly the sort of thing one said to someone when trying to convince him to forgive you.

**-000-**

Jeff moaned against the thick organ in his mouth, his fingers traveling from Nick's hips to around back to clench his buttocks as he desperately tried to suck more of his best friend's manhood down his throat. For his part Nick was buried nose-deep in Jeff's dark blond thatch and though guys weren't his first choice for sexual partners, he nevertheless devoured his friend with an eager vigor.

A few moments later Jeff felt his balls starting to draw up as his release rapidly approached. He quickly tapped the upper grove of Nick's ass three times fast with his finger. The location of the tap was irrelevant, it had simply been where the singer's hand had been at the time. Rather, it was the rapid, three time finger tap that mattered. It was their well-established signal for imminent firing. Confident that his message had been received and that Nick would be ready, Jeff relinquished himself to his pleasure and unloaded a mind-blowing torrent of seed down his friend's throat, moaning and gripping Nick's firm cheeks more tightly.

Nick had just enough time to prepare himself for Jeff's offering and prevent himself choking on it, before his own finger was tapping three times fast on the space below Jeff's balls. An instant later his orgasm was crashing over him with such an intensity that he had to remind himself not to bite down on the delicate body part still in his mouth. He was grateful it was there however, because without Jeff's erection to muffle the sounds of his release the entire dorm hall would have known that Nick was cumming.

When he had finished swallowing, and trembling from his own climax, Jeff gently released Nick from his mouth, and carefully inspected his dark-haired friend's equipment to ensure that he had consumed all the precious liquid. Satisfied that he had, he flicked his tongue over Nick's sensitive glans one more time and then flipped around on the bed to face him.

"Amazing!" Jeff beamed with bright eyes before leaning in and kissing Nick on the lips. "I love you," he said softly as he lowered his head and nuzzled against Nick's neck.

Nick smiled to himself, he liked how sweet and vulnerable Jeff got after sex. He wrapped his arms around his friend and then pulled back just far enough to kiss the top of his blond head. "I love you too."

The two friends had been having a sexual relationship for nearly two years now. Though Nick was straight he had to admit it was absolutely awesome having a steady fuck buddy, even if it was another guy. Going to an all-boys school would have been maddening without some form of release. When he had met Jeff their freshman year, the two had quickly become best friends and Jeff had been open about his sexuality right from the start. It hadn't taken long for the adventurous Nick to sound Jeff out about 'experimenting' during a particularly horny moment. The blond had quickly agreed and the rest was history...and unfortunately also legend around Dalton Academy. Not that Nick particularly cared. The school wasn't homophobic in the least, and it wasn't as though he had to worry about his reputation ruining his chance with the ladies. His only real concern was that Jeff might develop feelings that he couldn't return. So far that hadn't been an issue though, and Nick really did love Jeff. Perhaps not in a romantic way, but he loved him more than anyone else at the school, more than any other friend he had ever had.

"I _really _don't want to see Sebastian on Monday," Jeff said as he slid lower on the bed so that he could rest his head against Nick's chest.

"I know, I wish we could room together," Nick answered. His current roommate was Trent and since the other Warbler tended to be shy and didn't have a lot of friends Nick didn't have the heart to ask him to switch rooms so that Jeff could take his place. He especially didn't have it in him to make that request knowing that switching rooms with Jeff would require Trent to room with Sebastian. That would have been like sending a lamb into a lion's den.

"I'm not going to drop this though," Nick continued. "What he did at practice to Dave and everyone else was completely unacceptable. The school administration talks a good game about having a zero tolerance harassment policy, and Sebastian clearly violated that. We all need to stand our ground and insist that he be expelled."

Jeff sighed and shut his eyes. The notion of a Sebastian-free Dalton seemed like some kind of paradise fantasy. However, the more Jeff thought about it, the more the paradise seemed to slowly shift into hell. Jeff hated being around Sebastian. He hated how arrogant he was, how he used people and then threw them away. He hated the way that lying and sarcasm seemed to be Sebastian's default communication styles. Jeff truly hated Sebastian...but what Jeff hated most of all was how much he _liked_ Sebastian. He hated being around him but he hated being away from him even more. Sure he was arrogant and he threw people away, but damnit, Sebastian had a lot to be arrogant about and in a pathetic way Jeff liked that at least Sebastian had used him before he threw him away. He hated the way Sebastian perpetually lied and cut people down with sarcastic remarks, but at least when he did that to Jeff he was speaking to him, giving him some attention.

"You're too good for him," Nick whispered as he stroked Jeff's head, having detected his friend's silent tears from the light, wet sensation that had touched his chest.

"But I still want him," Jeff whispered back, squeezing his eyes more tightly shut in an attempt to turn off his feelings.

Nick sighed to himself. He was determined to get rid of Sebastian. He didn't care if he was one of the better, if not the outright best, singer the Warbler had. He was sick of Sebastian treating everyone like shit, especially Jeff and Trent. His tirade against Dave, someone in such a truly vulnerable state, had simply been the last straw for Nick. He would get Sebastian expelled or cause the biggest scene in the history of Dalton Academy trying.

**-000-**

**End Note: I wanted to make a few statements about the events of this chapter. First, in the flashback scene when Vanessa attempts to seduce Michael, I didn't state Sebastian and Michael's ages in this scene, but Michael is sixteen or seventeen. The age of consent in Ohio is sixteen, so while it was certainly completely skanky and inappropriate, it wasn't outright illegal. I'm curious to know what you guys thought of that scene as a whole.**

**The Blam scene from last chapter seemed to go over well and I enjoyed doing it too, plus it fits nicely with what I have planned, so I included plenty more in this chapter. Let me know what you thought.**

**I'm also interested to see what everyone made of the scene with Quentin. He's one of my favorite characters to write, but also one of the most difficult, because I like to keep him ambiguous and go for a more shaded approach to his personality and his quality as a father. I'm hoping that's coming out and he does indeed seem complicated and conflicted, versus just inconsistent and poorly written.**

**LOL Vanessa is definitely the closest thing this story is meant to have to an out and out villain. The other characters might do awful things, but I hope they're at least semi-sympathetic or at least understandable. **

**I also had fun with the romantic/non-romantic Nick and Jeff scene at the end. LOL, 5 extra points if you noticed that was the first time in this story that characters who have sex with each other mutually made declarations of love. I'm curious if you guys thought the Nick/Jeff scene and characterization seemed believable. The rampant homosexuality/activity at Dalton is the area of the story I'm least concerned about keeping 100% believable because it's more of a wink and nod kinda joke, although I did want to give it at least some basis and an explainable foundation for those who wanted one, and in their case I'm imagining a fairly long history together. Anyway please read and review if you have the chance. :-)**


	14. Chapter 14: Offerings

**What I Want**

**A/N: I'm sorry about the longer than usual delay between chapter. I didn't get as much writing done as usual what with the holidays. Although, I actually did write two new one shots which you guys should check out if you get the chance. Anyway, on to chapter 14.**

**Chapter 14 – Offerings**

_****Then****_

Jeff Sterling was standing with his back to the bar in Scandals trying to act casual as he slowly nursed his drink and scanned the dimly lit room for Sebastian. It was Jeff's first time at a gay bar and also his first time drinking this much alcohol. This overwhelming combination of firsts wasn't one Jeff had particularly wanted to try, but his roommate, Sebastian Smythe, had insisted that Jeff join him for the evening and had set him up with a fake ID. He had also gently coerced Jeff into using that new ID for several adult beverages, several more than the inexperienced drinker was able to handle. Jeff felt nauseated and he caught his hand shaking slightly as he raised the glass to his lips for another sip. He had wanted to stop drinking two rounds ago, but Sebastian wasn't exactly a person to whom it was easy to say no. Jeff found himself chortling at the absurd notion.

_Saying 'no' to Sebastian, as if!_

Sebastian had transferred to Dalton at the beginning of the school year. When Jeff had walked into his dorm room that first day his heart had all but stopped at the sight of him. He had been casually lying across one of the two beds, the one he had already taken the liberty of claiming for himself, and wearing nothing but a tight pair of designer black briefs and a confident smile. Sebastian had every reason to be confident about his body as far as Jeff was concerned. If he had even an ounce of extra fat on him Jeff certainly couldn't see it. Instead the tall, lean singer was all hard muscle and well-proportioned lines. Thanks to his snug, and limited, choice of clothing, Jeff also had a good idea that his new roommate wasn't lacking in any other physical capacity either. Thus, thirty seconds after meeting him, Sebastian had already become emblazoned on Jeff's mind and destined to star in countless future fantasies. Jeff had been under his spell ever since. It wasn't just his body that Jeff was interested in though; he also found his self-assured, albeit somewhat cocky, personality very compelling. Add to that the fact that Sebastian was endlessly witty and flirted almost incessantly with Jeff and it was little wonder that he was so firmly entrenched in the blond's head. Unfortunately for Jeff, despite Sebastian's flirting, he had yet to actually make a move. Worse, he had even gently rejected Jeff's advances, leaving the other boy completely at a loss for how to interpret the mixed signals he was receiving.

"Hey there," Sebastian greeted in a low voice as he suddenly appeared directly in front of Jeff and gave him the full impact of his most roguish smile. An instant later Sebastian's arms had slid around either side of Jeff's waist, and were gently gripping the bar behind him. He leaned his face in close, still waiting for Jeff to respond to his earlier greeting as he continued regarding the blond with an intense interest. Drunk or not, Jeff certainly didn't have any trouble interpreting these signals.

"Hi theeer," Jeff drawled back before a look of confusion contorted his face and he found himself wondering why he was speaking that way. A second later he attempted to shift his weight to his other foot and almost fell over on top of Sebastian in the process.

"Whoa, who's a wobbly warbler?" Sebastian asked with a smirk and a cock of his eyebrows. His hands had already darted to Jeff's sides, steadying him. When he was certain the inebriated boy wouldn't try to topple them over again his hands languidly slid from Jeff's sides down to his compact rear. After giving his backside a couple of firm squeezes he hooked his thumbs into Jeff's back pockets.

"I'm sowwy...uh Sorrrrry Sebasssian...God, theeer's alota S's in that," Jeff remarked as his face scrunched up and he tried to mentally count them.

Sebastian snickered and then slowly eased forward, closing the small distance between their faces and gently brushing his lips over Jeff's for the first time. He tasted like raspberries and just a hint of something bitter, remnants of his drink. Though the blond had had ample time to process the situation it still seemed to catch him off guard and Sebastian watched in amusement as his eyes widened in surprise, then lit up with delight before finally closing altogether.

Jeff felt a completely different sense of intoxication as their kiss heated up. He couldn't believe this was happening _with Sebastian_, the guy he had been pining over for months, the guy he stole longing glances at when they were alone in their dorm room, the guy who could have had - and indeed did have - any guy he wanted. Warmth flooded over Jeff as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's back. Sebastian wanted _him._ The dark-haired teen's hands were kneading his ass, his tongue invading Jeff's mouth. It was even better and more intense than Jeff had dreamed of. Through his drunken and lust-filled haze Jeff vaguely caught himself wishing he were sober enough to properly enjoy this long-awaited moment; however, it didn't matter. He had never felt so happy or desired in all his life.

"I think it's time to go," Sebastian whispered as he broke the kiss, but squeezed forward on Jeff's ass, grinding the slender blond's pelvis against his own, their aroused bodies pressing together in a way that caused Jeff's head to spin all over again and left no doubt as to what Sebastian had in mind.

"Oh-Ok," Jeff answered nervously. Unbidden thoughts swept into his head as he felt Sebastian's hardness pressing against his own - the number of times Sebastian had locked him out of their room because he had 'company' over, the way Sebastian had pointedly ignored so many people at the bar tonight who seemed angry at him, most compellingly the way Jeff's best friend Nick had warned him away from Sebastian, insisting that their new captain wasn't the kind of person Jeff should get involved with. Jeff frowned.

"What?" Sebastian inquired in a smooth voice as one hand moved to sweep the blond bangs from Jeff's face so that he could regard him more carefully. As he did so, his other hand moved up to the middle of Jeff's back, tenderly pulling him closer, and using his caresses to completely soothe away the fears and doubts that Jeff had briefly begun to entertain.

"Nothing," Jeff insisted defiantly as he pushed away the intrusive thoughts and allowed himself to melt against Sebastian's fingers. This was different he told himself. Sebastian could have slept with him months ago if that had been all he was after, but instead he had taken the time to get to know him. He had gone to the trouble of taking Jeff out to his first gay bar. He had bought him drinks. Even now he was affectionately taking care of Jeff in his impaired state.

A wide grin broke out over the inebriated Warbler's face. This could only mean one thing: Sebastian must have viewed him as different from his casual hook-ups, as more important or special. Jeff's stomach somersaulted as he considered the possibility that maybe Sebastian truly did like him. Maybe he felt the same way that Jeff did. Jeff leaned his head down against Sebastian's shoulder, a feeling of relief and trust washing over him as his eyes fluttered shut.

It seemed as though Jeff had barely raised his head and blinked before they were suddenly in their dorm room. He looked around in confusion. Sebastian's shirt was now missing and he was tugging Jeff's own button-down out of his pants and teasingly undoing each clasp in slow succession. Jeff shook his head, trying to remember how he had gotten here. He had vague images of standing next to Sebastian in the parking lot of Scandals, remembered a brief moment of clarity when they seemed to be climbing into the backseat of a car – a cab? An instant later he flashed on the memory of a physical sensation that promptly caused a look of surprise and discomfort to grip his face.

"What's wrong, Jeff?" Sebastian inquired gently as he undid the last button and flung his teammate's shirt wide open, raking his eyes, as well as his fingers, slowly down Jeff's lean, lightly-tanned torso. It was by no means the first time he had seen Jeff without his shirt on, the boy often ran laps around the Dalton track shirtless. He also wasn't shy about being in their dorm room before or after a shower without his shirt on. However, this was different; this was the first time Sebastian had gotten to do what he really wanted to do. Sebastian reconsidered that conclusion as he gave his hands free reign to explore Jeff's body. That wasn't quite right. He _could _have had Jeff anytime he wanted to and he knew it. This was simply the first time he had _let_ himself do what he really wanted to do to his roommate.

"You touched me," Jeff whispered, a blush deepening on his already flushed cheeks. One of Sebastian's hands had moved down to grip Jeff's hip, thumb pressing firmly against his hipbone as he held Jeff's waist close. His other hand was on Jeff's chest, thumb and finger rolling over one of Jeff's dark nipples. Despite his discomfiture, Jeff felt the soft nub hardening beneath Sebastian's expert fingers, until it had become a firm bead which seemed to lustfully press back against Sebastian's hand of its own volition.

"You noticed that, huh?" Sebastian teased as he flicked the now fully erect bud a few times, sending sharp jolts of sensation throughout Jeff's chest before he once again soothed his target with harder rubs.

"Uh, I-I meant...there," Jeff lowered his eyes to his crotch, once again feeling uncomfortable about how fuzzy his memory was, but certain that Sebastian's hand had been in his underwear, stroking his erection as they made out earlier in the backseat of the cab.

"Oh here," Sebastian said with a smug smirk as he pointedly lowered his hand from Jeff's hip and slid it into the front of Jeff's pants without any hesitation, proving to them both that Jeff was his for the night and could be touched whenever and wherever suited Sebastian. He gave his soon-to-be-lover's engorged shaft a few experimental strokes before wrapping his fingers around the end and firmly brushing his thumb back and forth across the swollen head, rapidly reducing Jeff to whimpers.

Part of Jeff still wanted to protest. He felt like they were going too quickly, like Sebastian shouldn't be touching him this way in his barely coherent, drunken state. However, Jeff had longed for Sebastian's touch for quite some time and the way the other boy was exploring his body felt so good and so right. It was just what Jeff had wanted from Sebastian all along. Perhaps he had even given his consent at some point and forgotten. Either way it felt blissfully good and this was _Sebastian_ doing it. Jeff's head was spinning and it was difficult to focus, much less express verbal sentences. He felt himself once again relinquishing complete control of himself to Sebastian.

Jeff wasn't sure what happened next but when he slipped into awareness again, both he and Sebastian were naked on his bed, him on his back and Sebastian kneeling between his thighs. He felt a cold, wet sensation brush between his legs and realized that it had been this rush of feeling that had snapped him back to a state of semi-clarity.

Jeff gasped as he looked up and took in the sight of Sebastian's beautiful, aroused body. Sebastian always looked good, but right then he looked unspeakably delicious. Desire coursed through Jeff's veins and he once again cursed himself for having so many drinks. He would have given anything to remember the intervening moments, but they were a hazy blur. Abruptly one of Sebastian's slick fingers penetrated Jeff and he once again refocused on the reality of the situation, fear gripping him.

"Wha...What's happppening?" Jeff asked in a panicked voice, or at least it was meant to be panicked. It came out more casually slurred.

"We're about to have sex," Sebastian purred as he leaned forward and started nibbling at Jeff's ear. "You want that don't you?"

Jeff's eyes widened and he once again became aware of Sebastian's slippery finger sliding inside of him. He felt terrified. This was something he had never done before and he couldn't understand how things had already progressed to this point. They hadn't even started the night as a couple and only a short time ago they had shared their first kiss. Jeff was frustrated that he could barely remembered everything that had led up to this moment. Shouldn't this experience be something he could easily and vividly recall for the rest of his life? As it was he felt like he would be lucky if he didn't pass out during it.

"I-I dunno know...I've never..."

"Really? Not even with Nick?" Sebastian asked, somewhat surprised, though also enjoying the fact that he was about to deflower a virgin.

"Nicksss straigh," Jeff slurred as he thought about his best friend and once again remembered his warnings about Sebastian. He awkwardly tried to sit up, Sebastian's finger still inside of him.

"But you suck each other off right?" Sebastian inquired as he continued prodding Jeff with his digits.

"Yeah but...I dunno...But weee havn't," Jeff mumbled, not quite sure himself why they hadn't taken that final step given how many other sexual things they had experimented with together. He had to admit this felt way too soon to be doing with Sebastian, but doing it with Nick would have felt a lot more natural.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore, Jeff," Sebastian said as he pushed the blond back down onto his back and leaned over him. "Because I can do things with you Nick can't."

"You want me?" Jeff asked furrowing his brow and clinging feebly to the wrist of Sebastian's free hand, the one that wasn't still working him over.

"Yes, I do," Sebastian confirmed as he pulled his hand free of Jeff's clumsy grasp and reached for the condom he had already lain out. Seconds later his other hand also ceased its preparations of Jeff's body. It was time.

"Okay," Jeff said with a shrug, at a loss for what else to do.

Jeff started to drift out of awareness again, but then an instant later he felt a sharp stab of pain that had his eyes shooting wide open and a yelp escaping his throat.

"It hurts!" Jeff cried out, as he tried to scramble higher on the bed in a desperate effort to get away from Sebastian's cock. To his dismay the much more nimble, alert teen simply repositioned with him, staying firmly in place.

"Sshhh," Sebastian soothed, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. A few moments later he shifted back up to his knees, pushing in deeper in the process and eliciting another pained whimper from Jeff. "It's going to be okay, Jeff. Just breathe and relax. It gets better."

"But it really hurts," Jeff whined again, feeling himself starting to break out into a sweat, his eyes still wide and frantic.

"That's normal, but I promise you're going to like it in a little while. Then you're going to be begging for it."

"Can we just stop?" Jeff asked, gritting his teeth and starting to wish the whole night had never happened. It was all he could do to keep a fragile grasp on his composure. He was on the edge of dissolving into tears and outright pleading for Sebastian to stop, but a firmer, more insistent side of his brain was still winning out, reminding him that this was basically the night he had been fantasying about since he had met Sebastian. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass himself even more and make Sebastian completely lose interest in him.

"Of course we can stop," Sebastian answered, making no move to withdraw. "I'd never force you, Jeff. But it would be a shame to stop now. You're in for a world of pleasure if you just hang on a little longer."

"O-okay," Jeff answered in a shaky voice, still reluctant to disappoint the other guy. He tried to focus on the fact that this was _Sebastian_ here with him like this. _Inside of him._ That had to mean something really significant, and anyway the pain was starting to become more manageable now.

"Better?" Sebastian asked, a little while later, noting the way Jeff's face had relaxed slightly. Jeff nodded so Sebastian began rolling his hips, gradually increasing his speed.

Soon Jeff was crying out again, groaning and panting with every move Sebastian made. It still hurt, but he was also starting to feel hints of what Sebastian had promised. Mostly it was just _intense._ He was flooded with sensation and feelings and he barely had the capacity to put a label on any of them. Good, bad, pleasure, pain, fear, trust, arousal - all he knew was that he was utterly swept up in Sebastian. He forced himself to spread his legs further apart and relax against the bed, feeling a growing desire to simply give himself to Sebastian completely, to let him do and take whatever he wanted.

And Sebastian did take it. He bucked into Jeff hard and fast, his fingers digging into Jeff's hips, as he held him place. He watched with satisfaction as Jeff's head rolled back and his groans and whimpers became moans and pleas. All at once Jeff's hand traveled to his dick and he began jerking himself off with quick, frenetic strokes.

"Jeff, if you do that you're going to-"

Sebastian didn't get a chance to finish his statement - or his fuck - as Jeff gasped and he felt the lanky blond's ass clench around his cock. Moments later he was crying out his release and shooting all over his chest and flat stomach, the cum pooling in rivulets around the subtle groves of his abs.

Sebastian continued plowing into him, searching in vain for his own release, until Jeff was once again pleading with Sebastian to stop, his body too sensitive and exhausted to take the flood of sensations any longer. Sebastian cursed and pulled out, ripping the condom off, and glaring at Jeff. "You came too soon. I wasn't ready."

"I-I'm sorry," Jeff apologized in a sad, shaky voice. He was ashamed that he had disappointed Sebastian, and mortified by his lack of control. Suddenly he felt like crying all over again for messing up his first time.

"Show me what Nick taught you," Sebastian demanded as he laid down next to Jeff on the bed and looked at his cock pointedly.

Jeff nodded and rolled over onto his hands and knees, trying to ignore the sore throb he still felt in his ass, and the rising nausea in his stomach. He sealed his mouth around Sebastian's erection, pleased to be sucking on the beautiful organ despite the lingering, unpleasant taste of latex. Jeff was alarmed a little while later when Sebastian's hands gripped the back of his head and he began thrusting into his mouth hard and fast, quickly causing the drunk blond to begin gagging.

_Oh god, please no. Don't throw up. Don't throw up,_ Jeff pleaded with himself as he began to panic. Soon Sebastian was erupting down his throat, making Jeff focus with every fiber of his consciousness on swallowing. He swallowed and swallowed, and at some point he was pretty sure he did start to vomit but managed to choke it back down.

"I'm done," Sebastian said simply as he pushed Jeff's head away and wasted no time in rolling off the bed and beginning to clean up.

"Was it okay?" Jeff asked anxiously as he watched Sebastian with a reverent awe. He was still beautifully naked and only barely softening as he gathered up his discarded clothes.

"I guess," Sebastian answered with a shrug as he tossed the clothes into his hamper and sat down on his own bed.

Jeff awkwardly stood and crossed the small room taking a seat next to Sebastian on his bed and leaning against him. Nick was the only person he had ever been sexual with before, but they always cuddled and relaxed after their releases, and Jeff's body was practically aching to be held, especially after the experience he had just had for the first time.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian demanded, scooting away from Jeff and giving him a hard look.

"Um...I thought we could...uh..." Jeff blushed as he trailed off. He felt more vulnerable than ever and Sebastian's reaction felt like a comment on his sexual performance.

"I don't like to touch after sex," Sebastian stated, not exactly in a hostile voice, but in a tone that left no room for argument. "You're drunk and tired. Just go back to your own bed and go to sleep."

Jeff nodded and clenched his jaw, refusing to let any tears fall until the lights were out and he had buried himself under his covers. He wished he still felt as drunk and disoriented as he had been earlier. Slipping out of consciousness again and into a numb, drunken haze sounded like an excellent idea.

**-000-**

_****Now****_

"I'm broken," Sebastian announced dramatically as he walked into Dr. Johnson's office first thing Monday morning. His normal session was scheduled before the start of the school day, already the first appointment in her day, but he had called her the night before, insisting that he had an emergency and needed to get started an hour earlier for a double-long session. Dr. Johnson had readily agreed. After all Sebastian was hardly the first patient she ever had who needed a special session.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sebastian," Dr. Johnson answered sympathetically before a sarcastic smile pulled at the corner of her mouth and she continued. "Would you like me to have you fixed?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes at her, but took a seat. He took his time filling her in on the events that had happened with Sam since the week before, as well as the drama at school, and the pair of unsettling conversations he'd had with his father and brother. She didn't interrupt, merely nodded and listened carefully, taking it all in. When he was finally finished he sighed and looked over at her expectantly. This was the part where she was supposed to offer him some genius insight into his problems that he could use to solve the whole thing.

"Well?" he demanded impatiently when she continued regarding him quietly, saying nothing.

Dr. Johnson took another thoughtful deep breath before settling on her approach. "When you came in this morning, you said you were broken."

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded, obviously annoyed at what felt like a delay. "I just finished telling you how fucking broken everything is. I might get expelled, my brother and father are planning God knows what, and Sam won't even take my calls."

"Yes, but you didn't say your school life was broken, or your relationships were broken. You didn't even say your life in general was broken. You said _you_ were broken. What did you mean by that?"

Sebastian glared and shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't really thinking about it when I said it."

"Well think about it now, Sebastian," Dr. Johnson urged patiently. "In what way do you feel broken?"

"I'm not broken!" Sebastian snapped folding his arms over his chest and resisting the impulse to just get up and walk out. "Quit putting words in my mouth."

"But those exact words did come out of your mouth," Dr. Johnson pointed out.

"Fine. I'm _broken_ because I'm so messed up that I'm sitting here listening to my overpaid therapist quibble about semantics instead of trying to do damage control on my horrifically fucked up life."

"How did your life get fucked up?" Dr. Johnson inquired, perfectly comfortable using his own words.

"I just told you how it's fucked up."

"But how did it get fucked up to begin with?" She pressed.

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Sebastian asked, narrowing his eyes on her as he saw where she was going.

"No, _you're _saying it's your fault, and I want to find out why."

"Fine!" Sebastian shouted, before taking a few calming breaths and regaining control of his temper. "Fine. I guess I feel guilty about what happened with Sam because I know it was my fault. I'm _broken_ and that's why we didn't work out."

"Do you think Sam is the kind of person who would forgive you for making some mistakes?"

"For making _some_ mistakes sure, but I built our whole relationship on lies. But that wasn't really my fault. I didn't know we were even going to _have_ a relationship so I didn't know it would be a problem. Nevertheless, why should he forgive me for everything?"

"Why should he?" Dr. Johnson asked back.

"He shouldn't," Sebastian answered with a frown. "I'm just not boyfriend material. He's better off."

"But if you were boyfriend material then he would have a reason to forgive you?" Dr. Johnson inquired.

"I guess. Maybe. But I'm not, so what does it matter?"

"Sebastian?" Dr. Johnson prompted gently.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to be with Sam?"

Sebastian closed his eyes and sighed, trying to resist the roil of pain that washed over him as he got his answer. It was all wrong. It was something he should have never wanted, something that should have never interested him in the first place.

"Yes, I do," he admitted, clenching his teeth slightly and reopening his eyes but refusing to look at her.

"Then, become boyfriend material," Dr. Johnson stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"And just how am I supposed to do that?" Sebastian demanded, glaring at her again. "Besides, yes, I admit that I do want to be with Sam, but should I really change for one person? Wouldn't it make more sense, be healthier even, for me to just get over him and go on with my life?"

"Do you regret what happened with the Warblers?" Dr. Johnson asked, changing tack.

"What?...I don't want to talk about the Warblers right now. I want to finish talking about Sam."

"Just answer me, Sebastian. Do you regret yelling at Dave, Trent, and the others?"

Sebastian thought it over for a few seconds. "No, not really. I regret going too far and getting into trouble, but I don't think that's what you mean."

"Well what if Sam had flipped out on them and said those things? Do you think he would he regret it?"

"Sam doesn't even have the vocabulary to say most of the things I said," Sebastian answered with a smirk and a dismissive shrug before continuing. "Hypothetically he would regret it, but he wouldn't have done it in the first place."

"Well what if you had said all of that to Sam instead of to your teammates? Would you have regretted that?"

A shocked look crossed Sebastian's face. "I know I'm an ass, but I would never have said anything like that to _Sam._ Of course I'd feel awful if I had."

"So why is it okay to say it to the Warblers but not to Sam?"

"Because I actually give a fuck about Sam...that's kinda the reason I was upset about the break up in the first place. Where is this even going?"

Dr. Johnson smiled and decided to express her theory; she knew her patient wouldn't indulge her much longer.

"Your problem isn't how you feel about Sam. It's how you feel about other people, and if you fixed that, then you'd probably be 'boyfriend material' in general, just like were you discussing."

"So because I...sort of like Sam now, I'm supposed to magically give a shit about everyone else too?"

"It's not magic, Sebastian. It's really quite straightforward. You like Sam. He likes you. This mutual liking gives you each the power to hurt the other, but because you do care about each other, you try not to do it, and when it does happen you feel bad about it. You understand that right?"

"Of course I understand that," Sebastian snapped, not appreciating what he interpreted as a condescending tone.

"Well it works that way with everyone else too, even if you like each other in different ways, or only have a more casual, social relationship with each other. Think about your roommate Jeff."

"Eww! Do I have to?" Sebastian asked with an exaggerated shudder.

"He basically feels, or at least felt, the same way about you that you and Sam feel about each other. Imagine how hurt you would be if Sam had treated you the way you treated Jeff. Imagine how guilty you would feel if you had treated Sam that way," She gave him a hard, expectant look, waiting for a response.

"It would suck," he conceded.

"Then why is it okay to treat Jeff that way?" Dr. Johnson asked.

"But I-"

"No, listen," Dr. Johnson cut him off, set on finishing her point. "Now think about Dave Karofsky. What if instead of Dave, Sam had been outed, bullied, and then tried to commit suicide instead? How would you feel about that?" She took the pained expression that formed on his face in response as answer enough and continued. "Or try this, imagine yourself in your most vulnerable state, maybe after your first time with Sean when he blew you off."

"Hey!" Sebastian barked, angry that she was bringing up his past so flippantly.

"Well think about the way you felt then, but what happened when your brother found out?"

"Felony assault?" Sebastian quipped, glad for a chance to lighten the mood.

Dr. Johnson snickered and smiled. "Yes, because you were hurting and in his own way Michael was trying to make you feel better. He was looking out for you."

"I know," Sebastian answered simply. "We talk shit and give each other a hard time, but we basically do look out for each other."

"Well now imagine if instead of offering support he had used your vulnerability against you to make fun of you and hurt you even more...kind of like what you did to Dave Karofsky?"

"Well I'm not Dave Karofsky's fucking brother, and Jeff isn't my boyfriend. I don't owe them anything. I wouldn't treat Michael and Sam that way. Isn't that enough?"

"No Sebastian, it isn't. And we may be discussing these hypothetical situations, but you're still not really empathizing with the people involved. Actually take some time and try to feel how they must have felt. Then tell me why it was okay for you to hurt them like you did."

**-000-**

Sam checked his phone as he walked out of his American History class and headed down the hallway for lunch. Predictably he had a couple of missed calls and a text messages from Sebastian. The Warbler had been calling and texting him all weekend and by the looks of things he wasn't stopping as the school week started. Sam felt his resolve wavering and barely managed to resist responding. Instead he read the two texts that Blaine had sent him, and focused on their positive, supportive words. He was grateful to his friend for all the encouragement he had given him, and he couldn't get over how amazing Blaine was being about the whole thing. The black-haired crooner had actually provided him with more support over his break up with Sebastian than Sam had gotten from all his other friends over his ex-girlfriends. Sam's parents had really been the only ones to give him extra support when he'd broken up with the girls.

Sam stopped walking and shook his head in confusion as he looked at his missed call list, wondering if he was seeing things correctly. Just as he had been thinking about his parents he noticed a missed call from his mother. It certainly did seem real enough, though oddly timed. Sam found himself reconsidering his decision not to talk to his parents about his break up with Sebastian. He felt like it would be way too embarrassing, but on the other hand Sam was close with his parents and as great as Blaine had been, Sam felt like there was no one quite like his mom or dad when it came to soothing his hurt feelings.

Still unsure whether or not he would follow through on actually confiding in her, Sam dialed his mother back.

"Hi baby!" Mary greeted fondly as she answered the phone.

"Hey mom," Sam answered as he stepped into an alcove so that he could hear better and have more privacy. "You called?"

"Yep, Stacey accidentally left her latest art project at home so I went back to pick it up for her on my lunch break."

"Oh that's nice. What did she make?" Sam asked conversationally, deciding his mother must have just called him to chat.

"A Play-Doh sculpture of her school playground," Mary answered before shifting topics. "But guess what I found when I got home."

"Uh, a Play-Doh sculpture?" Sam guessed, wondering if this was some kind of trick question to see if he was paying attention.

"Well yes," Mary conceded. "But also a package to you from Sebastian."

Sam's eyes widened and he felt like his heart had just jumped into his mouth. This was certainly a surprise to say the least and he had no idea why Sebastian would have been sending packages to his home in Kentucky instead of to the Hudson-Hummel residence.

"Did you open it?" Sam asked in a tight voice, still unsure how to interpret the situation.

"Of course not, dear!" Mary declared emphatically. "You know I wouldn't violate your privacy like that! ...but, I did bring it back to work with me. You know, in case you wanted me to open it for you or send it to you or something. Would you like me to check and see what it is?

Sam could hear the excitement and enthusiasm in her voice, and he knew it had probably been difficult for her to contain her curiosity this long. He decided that whatever was in the box, if Sebastian was sending it to his parents' address it must be something acceptable for a parent to see, so he decided to let his own curiosity get the better of him. "Sure mom, go ahead please."

He heard the sound of his mother putting down the phone and rustling around with something in the background. A little while later she squealed with delight and came back on the phone.

"You'll never guess what it is, Sammy!" she exclaimed.

Sam resisted the urge to guess 'Play-Doh sculpture?' and instead merely inquired, "what?"

"A brand new iPad!" she announced happily. "That was certainly sweet of him! I wonder why he sent it here though? Doesn't he have your current address?"

Sam's head was spinning at the news and before he could stop himself he started thinking about how much fun he would have playing with the new gadget. As soon as he caught himself he promptly shoved those thoughts aside, however, and began to reflect more on the obvious implication. Clearly Sebastian was trying to gift his way out of trouble, and the realization only served to piss Sam off even more.

"I'm not sure, mom," Sam answered noncommittally.

"There's a card here too. Would you like me to read it?" Mary asked, still eager for more information and already trying to guess at the likely thoughtful contents of the message.

"...I guess," Sam answered, completely unsure.

"Dearest Sam," Mary read aloud. "Aww, isn't that sweet?!" she declared once again living vicariously through their relationship. "Anyway, 'Dearest Sam, please accept this gift as a small token of my affection. It tears me up to know that I hurt you,'" Mary paused again, frowning. "Hurt you? What happened Sam? - uh anyway, 'tears me up to know that I hurt you. I'm deeply sorry. Please forgive me. Yours, Sebastian.'"

Sam sighed and scowled at the wall he was facing. He half-wished he hadn't told him mom to open the present. He _wanted_ it, but he knew he couldn't accept it. Not when Sebastian had obviously only sent it in an attempt to buy him off, and especially not considering the fact that he still had no intention of forgiving Sebastian and resuming their relationship.

"Sam, what happened?" Mary repeated when her son didn't speak for a little while.

"We had a fight," Sam stated simply, hoping she would let him get by with the vague answer.

"I gathered that," Mary said in a tone that was both sarcastic and consoling in only the way that a mother can manage.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Sam said awkwardly. "But we're not together anymore, and I can't keep it."

"Aww sweetie, listen, I'm not trying to make you talk about it, that's your prerogative, but I remember how serious you were about this boy. Hell, so serious you were willing to be with him even though he is a boy. Now maybe you have every right to be mad at him and not forgive him, and of course I'm completely on your side, but take it from someone who has quite a few fights and make ups under her belt: don't let your pride get in the way of something special. And goodness, you could certainly do worse when it comes to apology gifts. Most people are lucky to get a box of chocolates or a handful of flowers."

"I don't want him to think he can just whip out his credit card and make everything alright," Sam answered sharply, wondering what his mother would think if she actually knew the full story.

Mary smiled into her phone, proud of her son's integrity. "That's certainly a valid point, dear. Maybe he really is sorry though. Just consider that too, okay? Anyway, would you like me to send the iPad to you so that you can decide what to do with it?"

"Is that okay? I know it'll probably be kinda expensive to send."

"It's fine. I'll send it on my way home from work," Mary answered. "And Sam?"

"Yeah mom?"

"You know you can always come to me or your father if you need to talk."

"I know, and thanks. I'm just not ready to right now."

**-000-**

Sebastian was lying on his bed, the light in his dorm room off and the curtains drawn. He hadn't gone to any of his morning classes. Instead he kept replaying various conversations and experiences over and over in his head as he thought about what Dr. Johnson had told him. It was a strange experience for him, intentionally trying to make himself feel guilty. Guilt and remorse weren't a typical part of his psychological profile and he wanted nothing more than to just ignore his therapist's words and go on about his day.

He couldn't. She had made the exercise irresistibly tempting by implying that if he succeeded he would have a chance of getting Sam back. Although, he wasn't even sure what exactly he was supposed to do if it worked. Take his heavy conscience and lay it before Sam's feet like some kind of emotional offering? It didn't entirely make sense, but he also found that now that the seeds had been planted in his head they were difficult to resist in their own right. Sebastian was nothing if not intellectually curious, and if someone told him to think about something, or explicitly told him _not_ to think about something for that matter, if the topic was sufficiently complex and involved it always yielded the same result: he thought about it.

And so it was that he continued reflecting. He had already gone through everything that happened with Sam – several times. He had also replayed the way he had verbally attacked Dave and the insults he had spewed at Trent that morning. However, what he was currently thinking about was Jeff. It intrigued him that Dr. Johnson thought there was some kind of connection, or at least some similar set of circumstances, between his relationship with Sam and his past hook up with Jeff. His feelings about the two guys were utterly and completely different. He really didn't give a damn about Jeff, whereas his feelings for Sam had been strong enough to initiate this whole damn introspective mess. Still, he tried to focus on what Dr. Johnson had said, more on how Jeff must have felt about him, and their hook up, than on how he himself felt about Jeff.

To Sebastian's surprise he found himself deciding that the situation really had sucked for Jeff. If Jeff had truly wanted him and cared about him in a way similar to how Sebastian felt for Sam, then it really must have been agonizing. He also had to concede the point that he hadn't exactly made Jeff's first time having sex a completely good experience. He hadn't felt like he was doing anything wrong at the time, but in retrospect he probably could have been more sensitive.

Suddenly there was a noise at the door as a key slipped into the lock and before Sebastian fully had time to even process what was happening the object of his contemplation was entering the room. Naturally Jeff's first action was to flip on the light switch. Sebastian watched him comically jump back and raise his hand to his chest as he realized he wasn't alone after all.

"Whoa, you scared me," Jeff exclaimed as he tried to slow his racing heart. "I just came by to get my trig book, then I'll be on my way," Jeff said a little coolly, not wanting to stick around or bother to ask why Sebastian was lying alone in a darkened room in the middle of the day, fully dressed and apparently not asleep.

"Uh...I'm sorry," Sebastian muttered, glad that his statement could be interpreted to apply to the startle he had given Jeff, and hoping it would be enough to alleviate his new sense of guilt where the other boy was concerned.

Jeff shrugged and strolled over to his desk, gathering up his book and binder and stuffing them into his bag. As Sebastian watched him he realized to his disappointment that the casual apology hadn't actually done much to change his mood or take away his guilt. Dammit, maybe he would have to actually tell Jeff what he was apologizing for.

"Jeff, you have a few minutes? I want to talk," Sebastian said as decisively as he could. Uncomfortable or not, he was never one to feel awkward or uncertain.

"I'm on my way to meet Nick for lunch," Jeff offered as an excuse.

"Just for a little while?" Sebastian pressed, sitting up on his bed and patting the space next to him.

Jeff frowned but reluctantly sat down, at his desk instead, pulling the chair out to face Sebastian but staying well back. He was already dreading whatever Sebastian had to say, and no way did he want to be within arms reach of him when he said it.

"Sam and I broke up Friday. That's why I was in such a bad mood Saturday morning," Sebastian stated, watching Jeff carefully for a reaction. He was angry to see a hint of a smile cross Jeff's face before the blond schooled his countenance into a more neutral mask.

"Sorry to hear that. I liked Sam," Jeff answered with forced sympathy in his voice. It was true that he did find Sam pleasant and likable, but he still couldn't work up much disappointment for their failed relationship. His main concern was what any of it had to do with him and why Sebastian was bothering to talk to him about it.

"Yeah well, my therapist pointed out something that put things into perspective."

"What's that?" Jeff asked dutifully.

Sebastian sighed and gritted his teeth, hating how difficult this was. "That my feelings about Sam were probably similar to your feelings about me."

Jeff's mouth dropped open slightly in surprise, but he promptly shut it and stiffened in his chair, subconsciously folding his arms over his chest in a gesture of self-protection.

"So, I...Well I..." Sebastian trailed off, looking at Jeff and praying he would just get where he was going with this and save him from the discomfort of having to spell things out and apologize properly. To his chagrin the backup Warbler remained silent, forcing Sebastian to continue. "So I know that must have been very unpleasant for you."

"Then why are you bringing it up?" Jeff asked defensively, arms still crossed over his chest as he pushed his chair further back, away from Sebastian.

Sebastian took a deep breath and made himself meet Jeff's eyes. "Because I'm sorry I hurt you."

Jeff's eyes widened at the unexpected words, and the even more unexpected sincerity that seemed to underlie them. He fought a dozen different emotional reactions – confusion, sadness, relief, vindication, joy, anger, suspicion, hope, ambivalence – eventually he settled on anger.

"You didn't hurt me, Sebastian," Jeff said in a cheerful voice.

"Oh good," Sebastian exclaimed in genuine relief.

"You ripped my heart out and flushed it down the toilet," Jeff finished, glowering at his roommate. He didn't like how vulnerable the declaration made him feel, but the shocked and then guilty look on Sebastian's face made it worth it.

Sebastian was at a loss for what else to say. He had already apologized. What was he supposed to do now? "Sorry," he repeated, hoping a second apology might do the trick.

"You're not sorry," Jeff sneered. "You don't give a crap about me. You never did. I know what you're trying to do here, and it's really messed up and wrong."

"What? No, that's...well okay yeah, I never did care before, but seriously, I'm sorry...What do you think I'm trying to do?"

"Get me to make Nick and the others drop their complaints so you don't get in trouble," Jeff answered, still locking a cold glare on Sebastian and pleased with himself for spotting his roommate's manipulations for what they were.

"That's not it at all!" Sebastian exclaimed standing up. "Honestly, that never even crossed my mind. I'm really just trying to apologize here."

"Fuck you, Sebastian," Jeff snapped as he got up from his own seat and glared back at the other singer.

"Jeff, I mean it," Sebastian insisted desperately as he reached out and placed a hand on Jeff's shoulder, before continuing in a softer voice. "Really, I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Don't touch me!" Jeff yelled, flinching away from the contact. "You can't just fucking touch me, you asshole!"

"Jeff, please just listen-"

"Fuck off!" Jeff shouted as he yanked his book-bag off the desk and stormed out of the room.

Sebastian stared after him at the closed door, utterly confused about what had just happened. He had basically just been genuinely nice to Jeff for the first time ever, and somehow _that_ had been what made him flip out and actually tell Sebastian off when every time in the past he had always been friendly and nice, or at least pleasant and complacent. If that was the type of response he got from being nice to people, Sebastian was beginning to think he was better off sticking with his evil bastard routine.

**-000-**

**End Note: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I feel like it wasn't one of the more exciting ones. It's mostly transitional I guess you could say. Although, I do see it as a turning point for Sebastian. Anyway, feedback is welcome. Next chapter should be more action and drama packed. Among other (hopefully) interesting developments, Sam and Michael meet for the first time, and Sebastian faces a roomful of angry Warblers.**

**On another note, after last chapter I received several comments about the sexual tension between Sam and Blaine. I felt it too actually. They were just squirming to get all over each other, so what could I do but let them? LOL, not in the _What I Want_ plot though. Check out "Afternoon Delight" which is an AU smut piece that directly spins off from the scene last chapter. **

**I also felt like doing a Christmas story, and I wanted to write a lighter, fluffier Sam/Sebastian piece, so I hope you guys will check that out too. It's called "Sebastian's Christmas Gift." It was fun to write because I finally got to write them as an actual established couple rather than the prolonged angsty pairing I've been doing, lol. **

**Thanks so much to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, or favorited since last chapter! Happy early New Year (/Silvester Simon :-D)! Be safe and have fun everyone!**


	15. Chapter 15: Brothers

**A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter. I actually originally created the character of Michael specifically with one of these scenes in mind, so I'm delighted to have finally been able to write it. On another note, it's my three year anniversary today with my boyfriend! I'm glad to have gotten this finished and posted before we go off to celebrate. Enjoy!**

**What I Want**

**Chapter 15 - Brothers**

_****Then****_

"Your brother's a goddamn, irresponsible idiot," Quentin ranted for about the eighth time since he and Sebastian had started their drive. Predictably he then shifted his criticism to Sebastian. The teen knew the refrain so well by now that he found it difficult not to sarcastically mouth the words along with the man. "And you're a selfish little shit for helping him, Sebastian. Honestly, do you have any idea how embarrassing this is going to be for all of us? Or how expensive it is to raise a child? It's going to cost me a goddamn fortune and he'll probably still be a fuck up as a parent."

"Tell me again why we didn't take separate cars," Sebastian muttered under his breath as he folded his arms and stared out the passenger side window. He was relieved to see that the hospital was finally in sight. He sent Michael a text letting him know they were pulling up.

"I mean it, son. I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you had no business butting into your brother's life like this."

"But _you_ were within your rights to try to force him to have his daughter aborted?" Sebastian snapped, glaring at the man.

"Michael's my son. Of course I was within my rights to give him my advice. And don't give me any of that pro-life bullshit. You can't even begin to pull that off."

"I am pro-choice," Sebastian agreed, as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. "And I'm very much in favor of letting Michael make his own choices. Especially about something like this."

"What about his girlfriend's choices? You're willing enough to trample those," Quentin pointed out as he pulled into the first available spot and switched off the ignition.

"Her name is Lydia. You really ought to learn it since she's your granddaughter's mother and all. The baby's name is Anna by the way in case you've forgotten. And yes, Lydia can take a flying leap for all I care. I'm on Michael's side and this is what he wants," Sebastian stated as he flung open his door and jumped out, beyond uninterested in anything else his father might have to say on the topic.

"Sebastian wait," Quentin thundered from his now-open car door as he grabbed his briefcase and got out. "We're going to put our differences aside and walk in there together like a family."

"I doubt anyone from your country club is going to be standing around watching, dad," Sebastian remarked icily, but nevertheless paused and waited for his father to catch up before they plastered twin fake smiles onto their faces and entered the building.

They followed the signs until they found the maternity ward where Michael was waiting to greet them.

"Congratulations, Mike," Quentin said in a tone that somehow managed to be free of irony. He reached out and embraced his elder son.

"Thanks dad," Michael answered as he awkwardly returned the hug.

"How's the baby?" Sebastian asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets to subtly indicate his own preference for avoiding a similar display of affection with his brother.

"Anna's doing great!" Michael beamed, delighting in the opportunity to use his daughter's name for the first time since her birth. "Lydia's got her. Come on."

Quentin hooked his arm around Sebastian's shoulders as they followed Michael to the room.

"This is Anna," Michael declared as he gently took her from Lydia's arms and held her out for his father.

Quentin cradled the baby carefully and regarded her hesitantly for a few moments. Then his mouth slowly shifted into a big grin and he began cooing nonsense at her, eliciting surprised chuckles from both his sons and bringing a smile to the proud mother's face as well. Several minutes later when he passed the infant to Sebastian he caught his eye, smiled at him, and whispered, "You were right, Seb."

Sebastian took the tiny girl and held her against his chest. As he looked at her, he felt unexpected emotions stirring within him, and found himself reevaluating his motives. He wouldn't just be doing this for Michael after all; he would do what was best for Anna. A twinge of hesitation struck him as he caught sight of Lydia lying in the bed, fondly watching as the Smythe men got to know her young child. Sebastian promptly pushed his conflicting feelings aside. He stood by his original position: the girl would be better off with Michael.

A few minutes later a neonatal nurse arrived to take Anna back, but invited them to come with her and continue their visit through the glass.

"You guys go ahead. I want to talk to Lydia," Sebastian announced, drawing a curious look from the young woman.

Michael stepped in close and whispered to him. "You don't have to do this, Seb. Lydia and I can share custody."

"Is that what you want?" Sebastian asked him in a low, serious voice.

Michael paused for only a moment before giving him a sad smile and shaking his head. "No, it's not. I really want to raise her myself."

"No problem then," Sebastian answered, feigning a casual shrug and trying to stave off the rising panic in his stomach. "I've got things under control. Our guy already finished getting her room and car ready in case she doesn't cooperate. One call to CPS and she's an unfit mother."

After the nurse had left with Anna, Quentin opened his briefcase and pulled out a set a documents and an ink pen. Carefully avoiding Lydia's inquisitive glance he walked over to where his sons' were still quietly conferring in the corner of the room and held out the paperwork and pen to Sebastian. "Here."

"What's this?" Sebastian asked, accepting the proffered pages and hastily scanning through them. He quickly realized it was a custody agreement and gave his father a questioning look.

Quentin smirked at him. "Well, you boys were going to do this either way. Might as well save money on the legal fees and draw up the paperwork myself. At least this way I know it's right. Now, Sebastian, get her to sign that, but if you can help it, try not to completely alienate her. This is a good starting point and it gives me something to work with if she tries to fight it later, but a case could still be made that she's under emotional duress having just given birth. For this to be really ironclad we need her to come into the office in a few days and sign another set in front of witnesses."

"G-got it," Sebastian answered in an uncharacteristically shaky voice, as he prayed he could pull his plan off.

Quentin paused and regarded his son thoughtfully. "You know what, I'll handle it myself. I'm sure she has a price."

"Really, you think so? Because you held Anna too, dad. Do you have a price?" Sebastian asked, appreciating what his father was trying to do, but rejecting the idea. "What about you, Michael? Do you have a price for your daughter?" They both shook their heads so he continued in a sad, resigned voice. "Yeah me either...so it looks like I'm up."

Michael turned to follow his father out of the room, but then abruptly stopped and grabbed Sebastian, pulling him in for a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered in an emotion-choked voice.

"Of course," Sebastian answered earnestly, hugging him back just as tightly.

Once he was alone with the new mother, Sebastian took a deep breath and then addressed her with a cold, steely resolve.

"So Lydia, let's talk about the way you molested me. Then we can discuss your drug habit."

**-000-**

_****Now****_

Sam watched in confusion as a tall, college-aged guy with an oddly familiar smirk on his face, pulled out the other chair at the small table and sat down.

"Uh, sorry man, but I'm meeting someone," Sam said as he set down his coffee and looked around the Lima Bean's crowded interior, hoping that perhaps Blaine would make a well-timed appearance and help him out of this awkward and unusual situation. This was certainly the first time a stranger had just randomly sat down with him without any explanation, and though Sam was usually good with people he wasn't sure how to handle this.

"You're Sam Evans right?" the young man inquired, casually ignoring Sam's earlier protest.

"Yeah...how did you know that?" Sam asked going from uncomfortable to outright nervous.

"I looked you up on Facebook. You should keep your profile private if you don't want that to happen," the man said with a shrug and another smirk.

"Do we have a friend in common or something?" Sam asked, still racking his brain trying to figure out what was going on.

"Yes, we do. A close friend. I'm Michael Smythe," the man introduced himself, flashing his most gracious smile and holding out his hand.

Sam's face clouded over and he found himself only more confused by this revelation, confused but undeniably curious. After a moment it occurred to him that he should probably shake the other boy's hand. "Sam Evans...but you already knew that. Good to meet you. Sebastian's mentioned you a few times."

Michael took Sam's coffee-warmed palm and squeezed it in a firm, but friendly grip. He was unsurprised that Sam also had a strong, gregarious handshake; it fell in line with what Sebastian had told him.

"Sebastian has spoken of you a few times too," Michael answered with a wry smile.

"So, uh, it's nice to meet you, Michael, but I really am expecting my friend and I don't know if Sebastian mentioned it or not, but we broke up."

"Oh he mentioned it," Michael assured him. "And I'm sure your friend won't mind waiting a little while when he gets here. I need to speak with you."

"I think that might be weird," Sam protested again.

"Conversations involving my brother usually are," Michael remarked in a jocular tone before hardening both his voice and his gaze and continuing, "But weird or not, I take it quite seriously when someone hurts him, and you hurt him, Sam."

Sam's face fell. As angry as he was at Sebastian he couldn't stand hearing that he had caused him pain. "Well he hurt me too," Sam said defensively.

"I don't doubt it," Michael answered. "But I also don't care. Let me be blunt. I don't give a shit what Sebastian does to you. I only care if you mess with him."

"So what, you're threatening me?" Sam demanded glaring at the older guy.

"No, I'm not," Michael admitted, obviously irritated by that fact. "If I were going to hurt you, you'd be on the ground already."

"You just try it," Sam snapped glowering at his uninvited companion and rising to his feet.

"It's a moot point, because the reason I'm not going to hurt you is that I promised Sebastian I wouldn't. He insisted that what happened between you was his fault, not yours."

"He said that?" Sam asked, slowly sitting back down, intrigued by what else Sebastian might have told his brother.

"He did," Michael confirmed, reluctantly resigning himself to taking a more gentle approach with Sam. It certainly wasn't his preference. While Sebastian preferred subtle manipulation to get what he wanted, Michael usually preferred straightforward intimidation when he was confronted with uncooperative people. Hell, even their father, despite his frequent bluster, was more inclined to be discrete and tactful than Michael. Still Michael was a Smythe and that gave him at least a bit of the silver tongue when he wanted it. "You know, Sam, I've never heard him talk about anyone the way he talked about you."

"What did he say?" Sam asked, an eager, innocent expression on his face as he leaned in slightly.

Michael smiled to himself; it was no wonder this boy had been such an easy target for his brother. Heartened by Sam's response, Michael continued the angle he was working.

"He said he trusted you," Michael confided. "That may not sound like much on the surface, but Sebastian really doesn't trust _anyone._ I'm actually about as close as it gets, and he's still not exactly calling me all the time to discuss his feelings. He only told me this much about your relationship because I caught him off guard and he was pissed enough not to censor himself."

Sam scowled at Michael, trying to figure out how he felt about this new information. It did sound significant but... "If he trusted me so much why did he lie to me? Why did he trick me into being with him? And why he did just try to buy me off with some random gift?"

Michael sighed and frowned back. "Because he's fricken Sebastian. Those are his go-to behaviors. Doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Listen, Sam, I'm going to be honest. The last guy who hurt Sebastian as much as you did found himself bleeding in a parking lot. Now, I'm not saying I was responsible of course, but take it from me, I have a feeling you would have had a similar experience if Sebastian didn't care about you."

"Oh God, that's awful!" Sam declared, his blood running cold. He recoiled from Michael, almost toppling over his chair in his hasty backward slid.

"Just relax. Trust me the S.O.B. had it coming...probably more than you do," Michael conceded. "He all but raped Sebastian, and it was Seb's first time. Then the little bitch didn't want anything to do with him."

"Whoa, that's...I-I never knew that." Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had no idea something like that had happened to Sebastian.

"Yeah, so you can understand why I wasn't your biggest fan after I noticed Sebastian walking funny and found blood on his sheets."

Sam's face paled and his blood ran cold all over again. He dropped his eyes to the table, unable to look at Michael. "That was...I'm sorry. I didn't know...I mean he-"

"Sam, stop," Michael ordered, surprising them both by reaching across the table and squeezing his hand. "I really don't want to talk about you and my brother's sex life. Just don't hurt him and we won't have a problem."

"We won't be having a sex life anymore," Sam answered, saddened by that fact and feeling another pang of regret over losing Sebastian in general.

"So you've never made a mistake, Sam?" Michael growled. "Because I'm pretty sure we just found one. I guess that doesn't matter though, right? You get a second chance, but Seb doesn't?"

"Dude, you're being really bipolar and freaking me out," Sam exclaimed, confused about the way Michael's mood and reactions seemed to be bouncing around so much. First he was friendly, then threatening, then sympathetic, and now aggressive again.

"Who's this, Sam?" Blaine inquired, catching the tail end of the exchange as he walked up. He quickly moved to stand next to Sam protectively. From a more detached vantage point he would have admitted that the notion of him protecting his larger, stronger friend seemed a bit comical, but in that moment all he knew was that the stranger sitting at the table was upsetting Sam.

"Hey Blaine," Sam smiled, already feeling more at ease thanks to the dark-haired singer's presence. "This is Michael Smythe, Sebastian's brother. Michael, this is my good friend Blaine Anderson."

"Hi Blaine, nice to meet you," Michael said as pleasantly as he could under the circumstances. "Can Sam and I have a few more minutes to chat alone? Then I'll be on my way."

Blaine turned to Sam for input on what he wanted, only to see Sam seemingly conflicted by the request. At last he spoke. "Yeah Blaine, give us a minute please."

"Okay," Blaine said reluctantly before pointing at an empty table which was just out of earshot but still within sight. "I'll just be right over there."

"Listen, this isn't easy for me," Michael said to Sam as soon as Blaine had walked away. "Believe me, I'd much rather scare you off and be done with it. But Sebastian wants you, and despite anything you might have heard to the contrary, I want him to be happy. He's had a tough life you know."

"Sebastian's had a tough life?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yes, he has," Michael insisted with a nod. "Our mother died when he was very young. I know dad loves him, but he's clueless about how to actually be a father. I was shit at showing my feelings. Then the first guy he ever really liked dicked him over big time. You do the math."

"You don't seem all that bad at expressing yourself," Sam commented, saving the rest of the information to think about more fully later.

"Thanks," Michael answered with a small smile. "I'm trying to do better. It's a little easier now that I don't actually live with Seb and our father and stepmother. More perspective or whatever. Plus I have a little girl of my own now. That kinda shifts your frame of reference."

Sam smiled back, feeling like Sebastian's brother was finally being genuine with him. "Seb talks about Anna a lot. He's shown me pictures too. She's adorable."

"Thanks man," Michael answered, grinning wider at the compliment and delighted that Sam had taken the time to learn his daughter's name. "Look, I like you, Sam. I think you'd be good for Sebastian, and believe it or not, I think he could be good for you too. Sebastian basically has two settings. He either doesn't give a fuck at all, or he's really loyal and willing to do just about anything for people that matter to him. And you do matter to him. I know for a fact that he's already made more of an effort for you than he has for all of his other exes combined. Just give him another chance, okay? Hear him out."

Sam considered what Michael had said for a few moments and then slowly nodded.

"Okay," he agreed as a smile fought its way onto his face. He felt a sense of relief and eager anticipation that he hadn't felt since he and Sebastian had had their falling out. He wanted to forgive Sebastian. He had _always_ wanted to forgive Sebastian. He just didn't want to feel like a possession that Sebastian had won, or the prize in a game he had been playing. If what Michael had told him was true, if he really did matter to Sebastian, then maybe the guy did deserve a second chance. Sam certainly hoped so.

**-000-**

Sebastian grumbled at the sound of someone knocking on his dorm room door, waking him from the fitful sleep he had finally managed to drift into. After his confrontation with Jeff earlier that day at lunch, Sebastian had continued to skip the rest of his classes. Instead he had gotten locked in a loop of unpleasant contemplation. Sam, Jeff, Karofsky, Trent, the rest of the warblers, his father, Michael, Vanessa, Lydia, Aaron, Matt, all his other past hook ups, even Sean and Carter were stuck in his head. He tried to block them out, rid himself of their voices. He took a shower. He attempted to work on some homework. He checked his email and Facebook. He read for awhile. He watched some videos on his computer. He watched some porn on his computer. Nothing worked. No matter what he did he couldn't get all the damn memories out of his head. He couldn't stop the incessant chatter of past voices from hurling their recriminations at him for the various ways he had wronged them.

By the early afternoon, he was furious with Dr. Johnson for starting him down this agonizing spiral of thinking. Where did she get off making him feel guilty? She was his therapist; she was supposed to make him feel _better._ He considered turning up unannounced at her office the next morning, barging into someone else's session, and giving her a piece of his mind...but he couldn't risk feeling bad about it later.

Now that he had finally found some measure of peace in his sleep some sadist was outside his door rousing him from it. Suddenly a hopeful thought flickered across his mind. It was perhaps the first pleasant thought of his entire day. _Sam._ Sam had come to his dorm room to make up the last time they had had a disagreement. Maybe he was back again!

Sebastian jumped off his bed and hurried to the door, feeling anxious and hopeful as he flung it open.

"Fuck it's you!" Sebastian cursed as he came face to face with Nick Duval. Inexplicably he also caught himself noting the briefly offended look that flashed across his teammate's countenance. Great, that was just his luck. Now even Nick fucking Duval could make him feel guilty for being a jerk.

"I'll keep this brief," Nick stated stiffly as he glared at the Warbler captain.

"It's already not brief enough," Sebastian retorted, ignoring the small part of his brain that was trying to stop him from insulting the dark-haired boy. To his delight, Sebastian found that with the hostile look that Nick was shooting him, being a dick to him was almost as enjoyable as it had ever been.

"I'm here as an envoy for the other Warblers, plus Headmaster Montgomery," Nick stated. "Since you didn't-"

"Oh messenger boy huh!? Good for you, Duval. Moving up in the world from Jeff's personal masturbation sleeve, eh?" Sebastian taunted, not feeling even a twinge of remorse. Perhaps Nick's visit would cheer him up after all.

Nick grunted and rolled his eyes before continuing. "Since you didn't bother going to any of your classes today, there was no other way to notify you, but-"

"Actually I have this really nifty new gizmo that allows me to talk to people from great distances. It's rather useful. I think it might catch on."

"I didn't come here for your sarcasm."

"Consider it a gift," Sebastian answered, gesturing expansively. "So what's your message? And I do reserve the right to shoot you after you give it to me."

"You're to appear in the Warbler common room before the entire group, Mr. Montgomery, and several other school administrators tomorrow afternoon immediately following the final class of the day...Not that class schedules are of any concern to you apparently, but the rest of the Warblers and faculty take them into consideration."

Sebastian inwardly groaned at the news, but made no visible indication of being affected by it. "Thanks for the message. Feel free to self-destruct now."

"Ah but isn't that your forte, Sebastian?" Nick remarked innocently as he turned to leave.

"Where's Jeff?" Sebastian blurted out, curious about why his roommate hadn't returned to their dorm room after classes.

"He's staying with me and Trent tonight. So feel free to have wild, raunchy sex in your dorm room...oh wait you already do."

"So you two are _literally_ sleeping together now. In that case feel free to..." Sebastian trailed off. He may have been able to suppress his new psychological torment where Nick was concerned, but thinking about Jeff had him back in another guilty spiral. "Never mind, just tell him I said what I meant this afternoon, please."

Nick cocked a skeptical eyebrow at him. "That you're 'sorry for hurting him'," he said with finger quotes. He snickered when Sebastian briefly looked surprised by his knowledge. "Did you think he _wouldn't_ tell me? Anyway, he's not buying it and neither am I."

"You don't need to. I wasn't offering you any apologies, Duval," Sebastian growled. Then his face softened slightly and he added, "But I really am sorry about what I did to Jeff."

With that Sebastian shut the door in Nick's face and then strolled back to his bed. He threw himself down across the mattress and picked up his phone, as much for a distraction as anything else. That was when he noticed a new text message from his brother.

Michael: Call Sam. He'll answer this time. You're welcome.

Sebastian blinked at his phone, rereading the message in an attempt to divine any hidden information from it. It certainly seemed concise and straightforward enough. The main question it raised was how Michael had convinced Sam to take his call. Sebastian shuddered to think of some of the possibilities, but regardless of what his brother had done, calling Sam right away seemed like the best move. Sebastian quickly pulled up his number and did just that. Sam answered on the second ring.

"Hey," Sam said in a quiet, unsure voice.

"Hi Sam, are you okay?" Sebastian asked, relieved to hear his voice, but still worried about what condition he might in.

Sam paused before answering. "No."

"Oh god, what did my asshole brother do? I'm so sorry, Sam! I tried to stop him. But this is my fault. I should have made sure he stayed away from you. Fuck! He is _so_ going to pay for this! I'm really sorry. What happened? What exactly did he do? Did you go to the hosp-"

"Whoa, Sebastian, slow down!" Sam interrupted with a chuckle. He was amused at how animated Sebastian had become in his worry. It was completely unlike him and it made Sam feel good to know he was able to have that effect on Sebastian. It certainly strengthened Michael's assertion that Sebastian really did care about him. "Michael didn't do anything but talk to me."

"But you said you weren't okay," Sebastian pointed out, both happy and annoyed about the evident misunderstanding.

"I meant because I miss you," Sam admitted softly. "And because I've been really upset about everything that happened with us."

A smile spread across Sebastian's face and he felt his heart starting to pound harder. This was obviously the part where he was supposed to say something sentimental back. It certainly should have been simple enough for him. He'd had plenty of practice saying the right thing. Unfortunately now that it actually mattered he had no idea what to say. Thinking fast he figured out what he would have said if he hadn't actually meant it, if he had instead still been acting. Sure enough these 'fake words' summed up what he_ did _actually feel...but why the hell did these words seem so much scarier to say in this context?

"I missed you too," Sebastian whispered at last, his mouth dry and his palms starting to sweat. "I was so wrong to do that stuff, Sam. I wish I could take it back."

"You mean it?" Sam asked, starting to tremble and feeling almost freaked out about the new quality in Sebastian's voice. It was raw, honest in a way that Sam had never even noticed was missing before now.

"Yeah I do," Sebastian choked out, cursing himself for how weak he sounded. He had waited all this time to talk to Sam again and now that he finally had the chance he could barely fucking speak. It didn't make any sense.

"Can we meet in person and talk about everything?" Sam requested, worriedly pulling at the fabric of his shorts' leg with the hand he wasn't using to hold the phone.

"I'd like that," Sebastian answered. '_I'd like that.' What the hell?! Why I am talking like some woman from the '50s?_ Sebastian forced himself to continue more decisively. "How about tomorrow after school at the park? The same bench where we first met?"

"That sounds great. I'll be there," Sam responded, pleased with the significance of the location.

"FUCK!" Sebastian shouted as he suddenly remembered Nick's visit. "I can't make it."

"What? Why?" Sam asked, confused and anxiously standing to pace his room.

"I...well I sort of got in trouble at school. I have to meet the principal tomorrow after classes. It shouldn't take too long." Sebastian reconsidered as he realized he didn't actually have ay idea how long it would take. "Or maybe it will...Can I text you when I'm done and we can meet then? _Please?_"

Sebastian winced at the shameless plea. _God, I sound so pathetic. What is wrong with me?_

"Sure, that's fine," Sam answered, feeling relieved that Sebastian hadn't changed his mind about meeting. However, it then occurred to him that Sebastian was still obviously having some kind of problem and he began to worry all over again. "What happened at school?"

"It's a long, unpleasant story."

"Oh um, never mind then. It's none of my business."

"No, I'll tell you," Sebastian said right away, feeling like it was somehow important to be candid with Sam about anything he wanted to know. "But how about tomorrow? I'll know more then anyway."

"Okay, sounds good," Sam said. Then when he realized he didn't know what else to say he awkwardly continued. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, see you then," Sebastian responded, before feeling another roil of anxiety and uncertainty. "Thank you, Sam, for...just thank you."

Sam smiled, finding this nervous version of Sebastian to be absolutely adorable. He couldn't wait to _see_ what he looked like being this bashful.

"Bye Sebastian," Sam said softly.

"Bye Sam," Sebastian murmured back.

**-000-**

Sebastian attended classes the next day, but it was hardly worth it for him to have even bothered. Between everything he'd missed the day before, coupled with his anxiety about both the meeting with the other Warblers and administrators, and his reunion with Sam, he was completely lost and unable to focus on anything being discussed. It was a wholly new experience for Sebastian, who usually picked up new information without even trying very hard. Most of the time he was bored waiting for everyone else to catch up. As things currently stood, however, he was lucky to even keep track of what class he was in.

On the plus side his wandering mind had already repeatedly rehearsed what he would say both to Mr. Montgomery and the others, and to Sam. All he had to do now was get through the rest of the day so that he could actually say it. In between classes he carefully avoided the other Warblers, going straight to and from each room and keeping to himself. He knew he should have been politicking for their forgiveness and sympathy, but for once he felt uncharacteristically embarrassed and meek about the whole incident.

As soon as his final class of the day ended, Sebastian went straight to the restroom to compose himself and practice looking contrite. For some reason it was harder looking contrite now that he actually felt it than it would have been to pretend. Sebastian sighed in irritation as he looked in the mirror. It was so unfair that he was a master at displaying fake emotions, but utterly shitty at expressing honest ones. He found himself wishing he didn't regret what had happened just so that he could look like he did.

He arrived at the doors of the Warbler common room at the same time that Trent did. Trent audibly yelped in fear when he caught sight of Sebastian.

"Good afternoon, Trent," Sebastian greeted him with a pleasant nod as he opened the door for the heavyset singer. He was grateful for the years of social training that ensured that though his other fake emotions might have been on the fritz, he could still do polite salutations until he was blue in the face.

"Good afternoon, Sebastian?" Trent said cautiously, wondering if it were some kind of trick question. Was Sebastian about to slice him open with sharp comments about how miserable the afternoon really was? Was he going to burn him with caustic hyperbole about noxious hours ill-spent in his presence? There had to be some reason behind his behavior.

"After you," Sebastian insisted, still holding the door.

Trent eyed the entryway carefully. Was this it? Was their a bucket of raw sewage waiting to fall on Trent's head once he stepped over the threshold?

"Go on," _you big, lumbering numskull. _

"Thanks," Trent answered, finally stepping through the door and then quickly scurrying to the far corner of the room, hoping to go unnoticed for the remainder of his time there.

Sebastian restrained himself from scanning the room to see who else had already arrived, finding it more dignified to instead hold his head high and keep his eyes pointing forward. He walked to the long, elegant table at the front of the room where Mr. Montgomery and the other faculty members who would be making their ruling on his fate were sitting. Remorseful or not, Sebastian refused to be intimidated or to forgo playing what he perceived to be the best, perhaps the only, card in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Montgomery, everyone," Sebastian said in a steady, deferential tone as he made eye contact with, and inclined his head to, each of the adults in turn. "My deepest regrets for stepping out of line and necessitating this meeting."

"If you'll sit down please, Sebastian," Mr. Montgomery answered in a stern, curt voice, gesturing to the chair set up in the middle of the room, directly in front of the long table, and surrounded by a semi-circle of other chairs which were partially occupied by the Warblers. "We'll begin once everyone is here."

"Of course," Sebastian said, looking properly chided. "I just wanted to personally express my remorse and reiterate my loyalty to Dalton...and my father's loyalty for that matter. He's always talking about what a fine institution Dalton Academy is, and how he has the utmost amount of respect for it. Say Dr. Culler, how is the book digitizing project for the library going?" Sebastian inquired in a casual, curious tone referring to the man's pet project. "I bet that's time consuming...and expensive. I was just discussing with my dad how expensive that must be."

"Sebastian," Ms. Henson cut in, giving him a hard look and not at all amused by the transparent insinuation of bribery. She took ethics very seriously.

"Now Linda, the boy is just being polite," Dr. Culler interrupted, much more receptive to the veiled suggestion. "It is a lot of work, Sebastian, and yes very expensive."

"Oh goodness, Dalton is certainly fortunate to have you heading up the project, Dr. Culler. I'll be sure to tell my father we were right about the cost and time involved." Sebastian quickly turned his attention back to Ms. Henson before she had time to object again. "My apologies for being overly loquacious, Ms. Hanson, but while my mouth is running anyway, may I add how fetching your new hairstyle is and how well it sets off your eyes?"

Sebastian had been playfully flirting with, and complimenting, the middle-aged spinster since his first day at Dalton when he had met her in the admissions office. She had no sexual interest in the inappropriately young student, but she was unused to such overt male attention and, youthful or not, the full force of Sebastian's most charming grin combined with his flattering words, was more than enough to render her speechless. Right on cue she blushed and looked away.

"Anyway, I'll take my seat now," Sebastian said as he started to turn away, but instead of leaving he turned back around and added as an afterthought. "Oh and Coach Grey, I forgot to say how terrific the stadium and gym are looking. How are the renovations going?"

"Okay...a little over-budget," the athletic director answered, eager to secure a donation for Dalton's under-appreciated athletics program. At the staid prep school, academics and extracurriculars like the Warblers received the lion's share of the attention.

"Oh my, I certainly hate to hear that. I hope you can round up some donations. I'll do my part to spread the word...Say, have you ever met my father? He's a big football fan. I bet he'd love to pick your brain."

"Sebastian, if you're done greasing palms, we'll begin now," Mr. Montgomery interjected in his customary frosty baritone.

"Of course, I know you must be very busy, sir."

"Yes, I am, and before you continue, if it'll speed things along I'll just email you a list of my on-going projects so that you can tell your father," the headmaster responded sarcastically.

"I'm sure he'll be very fascinated, sir," Sebastian answered with a devilish smile as he hastily took his seat.

"Nick, I believe you'd like to speak on behalf of your teammates?" Mr. Montgomery began, wearily addressing the boy who had spearheaded the day's gathering. The headmaster found the entire thing tedious and unnecessary, especially since no actual physical violence had occurred. As far as he was concerned it was just a bunch of self-important teenagers bickering and posturing. If the vociferous Nick hadn't insisted that Sebastian's behavior violated Dalton's zero tolerance harassment policy he would have declined to hear the case altogether. As it happened anti-bullying was the new darling of the school board and Mr. Montgomery didn't doubt for a instant that if he failed to indulge the boy in his complaint that he would bypass him completely and take the matter over his head.

"Thank you, headmaster, ladies and gentlemen of the panel, and of course my Warbler brothers," Nick said formally as he nodded and bowed slightly to each person or group in turn. "I intend to prove that on the morning of Saturday, April 7th, 2012, Mr. Sebastian Smythe, serving elected captain of the Dalton Academy Warblers, verbally harassed and emotionally tormented-"

"Mr. Duval, if you could please just describe what happened in everyday language and save the legalese for your next mock trial competition, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it," Mr. Montgomery requested dryly as he gave the teenager a withering look.

Sebastian hid the smirk on his face as he watched Nick deflate and fumble to reorganize his overly-polished statement.

"Well first when Dave tried to audition, Sebastian...oh wait that didn't happen first, but that was the worst thing. Uhh well unless you count what he said to Trent before we started, but the big thing was the way he...Uh the way he..." Nick swallowed hard and looked around the room at all the eyes that were bearing down on him. He couldn't figure out where to start now that he had been knocked off track and he knew that he was starting to look like an idiot. He had been counting on crushing Sebastian with meticulously enumerated, eye-witnessed facts. The idea of competing with him in a more informal context was disheartening. He was painfully aware that Sebastian was a much more gifted off-the-cuff speaker.

As Nick's words devolved into indiscernible mumblings, Jeff got up from his chair and hurriedly crossed the small distance to where Nick was standing. He handed him the half-full water bottle that he had been drinking, and wrapped an encouraging arm around his shoulders before turning to address the table of administrators. "This is all my fault. I suggested he make this overly formal," Jeff fibbed as he squeezed Nick's shorter frame against his body, hoping the physical gesture would translate into emotional support. He turned and addressed Nick just loudly enough for the faculty to hear so as to avoid the appearance of rudeness, as well as to further accept the blame himself and take the pressure off Nick. "Just forget everything I told you to say, Nick, and tell it in your own words. Just like you would if I didn't know what had happened and you were casually telling me about it."

Nick took a few more sips of water before handing the bottle back to Jeff and thanking him silently with his eyes. When he spoke again he felt more relaxed and had a better grip on how to tell the story.

"Saturday Sebastian was the worst any of us have ever seen him. He raved at Trent outside the auditorium loud enough for all of us to hear before practice started. Then he spent the first chunk of time maliciously ridiculing us, our performance, and even the attractiveness of our bodies. He further attacked Trent and compared him to something I don't feel comfortable mentioning in front of this honorable panel. Then he wanted us to all go through our numbers individually so that he could pick each one apart, but Jeff reasonably pointed out that we should let the new student, Dave Karofsky, audition first so that he wouldn't have to spend all that time waiting around. But as soon as Dave came on the stage Sebastian viciously attacked him. He ridiculed him for his suici- uh past emotional pain, and tried to verbally taunt him into a fight. I finally managed to intercede before things turned violent and with the help of my fellow Warblers we were able to defuse the situation, whereupon Sebastian capriciously canceled practice altogether and stormed off in a temperamental huff. It is my opinion, and that of my teammates, that Sebastian's behavior was completely and grievously out of line. The worst thing is that any _one_ of these behaviors, taken to a lesser extent, wouldn't have even been out of character for him; he has been skirting the edge of outright harassment since he first started at Dalton. This time, however, he absolutely crossed that line and clearly violated the school's zero tolerance harassment policy. In addition his behavior was utterly inappropriate for any Warbler, let alone the _captain._ The Warblers are all about brotherhood, and supporting each other to be our best, but Sebastian knows nothing about what it means to be a good brother, and certainly nothing about being a good leader. I request, on behalf of the entire team, that he be stripped of his rank, dismissed from the Warblers, and expelled from Dalton Academy." Nick finished by making eye contact with each of the faculty, lingering on Mr. Montgomery for his final words. "Thank you for hearing our complaint."

Nick looked around the room at the other Warblers, getting silent nods of approval and thumbs up from many of them. Jeff obviously wanted to hug him, and Trent looked so emotional that he was close to tears. Though Nick found it difficult to decipher the carefully neutral looks on the administrators faces', he nevertheless returned to his seat feeling as though his statement had been a well-received success.

"Sebastian would you like to say something in your defense?" Mr. Montgomery inquired, hoping the boy would instead be satisfied with his pre-meeting efforts and leave things at that so that they wouldn't have to endure another bombastic speech from an overwrought teenager.

"Yes, I-"

Before he could continue, Dave Karofsky stood up and cut him off. "Actually can I say just a few words that might make further statements unnecessary."

"Good heavens yes," Mr. Montgomery declared, enthusiastic for the first time since entering the room.

"Nick, I appreciate what you're trying to do," Dave said, addressing their spokesman directly. "I appreciate the way you kept me from making a big mistake Saturday and hitting Sebastian, and I really appreciate the kindness and friendship that you and Jeff and the others have shown me since I started here. But I can't in good conscience let this go on." Dave turned his attention back to Mr. Montgomery and the other faculty members. "I'm not sure just how much of an influence my involvement has in all of this, but I get the impression that the fact that I was a new student, and in a 'distressed state' makes the whole thing more serious. Well if that's the case I want to officially drop any perceived complaint from me about Sebastian. Sebastian is a total jerk and I dislike him personally, but I don't think what he said to me was out of line. He's the captain of the Warblers and it is his place to screen people out. Plus as someone in kind of a 'coach' role I can see where he was coming from with a lot of his remarks, not just to me, but to everyone. I've played sports since I was a little kid and I've had a lot of coaches be just as harsh or even worse to motivate players. Also, I can't accept the idea that he was bullying or harassing me in general. I regret to say that I've also done a good amount of bullying in my day, and what I've done to other people was much worse than what Sebastian did to me. To put it into perspective even more, I've been on the receiving end of much worse treatment too. I don't like Sebastian, but I don't have a complaint against him."

Dave hoped he wasn't being disrespectful to his new teammates or the school administrators by doing so, but after making his statement he quietly walked out of the room, feeling uncomfortably exposed and unavoidably reliving bad memories as a result of the things he had just said. He needed to be alone.

"In light of Mr. Karofsky's statement, I'm going to take a moment to confer with my colleagues," Mr. Montgomery announced before rising and stepping further back from the table, gesturing for his associates to join him. They gathered together and whispered back and forth for a little while before a general consensus was reached and they returned to their seats. Mr. Montgomery spoke again. "We see no reason to pursue things further and are going to instead simply censure Sebastian for his behavior and remind him to be more respectful in future."

Sebastian closed his eyes in relief and let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. With this crisis over, his thoughts immediately shifted to Sam and the fact that he would at last get to see him again and make up properly. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket to text him that he was about to leave.

"Wait!" Nick declared, clearly fuming as he jumped to his feet.

Mr. Montgomery glowered at the boy and inwardly cursed, barely resisting the temptation to merely insist that the case was closed and be done with it. Reluctantly he reminded himself that the kid was a nuisance that wasn't likely to go away until he had been fully dealt with. Mr. Montgomery audibly sighed and grudgingly addressed him. "Mr. Duval, you have something else to say on this matter?"

"Yes," Nick snapped obstinately, before forcing himself to cool his temper and speak more graciously. After all the last thing he wanted to do was accidentally annoy Mr. Montgomery or worse even get on his bad side. "I accept the ruling that Sebastian isn't to receive any official school sanction, but he holds a peer-elected position in the Warblers. Jointly it is up to us to decide who our captain will be, we can even remove members completely by two-thirds vote. Given recent events I would like to hold an emergency caucus and -"

"Do whatever you would like, Mr. Duval. As long as Warbler bylaws are upheld you have the support of this administration. However, team affairs and governance are not in our purview. Furthermore, I for one have every confidence that you will indeed rigorously and tirelessly follow the letter of the law. As such I am dismissing this meeting and will take my leave of you."

"Thank you for your confidence, headmaster," Nick answered, his righteous indignation briefly tempered by the glow he felt from the compliment and the knowledge that he had earned the man's approval.

Mr. Montgomery left the room, followed in short order by the rest of the faculty, leaving Sebastian alone in a room full of angry Warblers. He found himself uncharacteristically intimidated by the cold, hostile looks he was receiving from the usually pliant group.

"Listen guys," Sebastian said as he stood to address the team, trying to remain calm and maintain control of the situation. "All I was going to say before is..." he sighed finding it difficult to continue, but forced himself. "Is that I'm sorry."

The Warblers looked at each other with uncertainty and surprise, unsure of how to react. A few seconds later Nick began laughing, drawing everyone's attention to him.

"That's it? That's all you have to say for yourself? That you're _sorry_? Gee, Sebastian, I guess that makes up for all the insults and abuse you put us through. For the way you've personally humiliated each and every one of us. I mean if you're _sorry,_ what's the big deal right? What do you think, guys? Since Sebastian is _sorry_ there's no point in continuing with the dismissal vote, huh?" Nick let out another round of derisive chuckles and glanced around the room expectantly, successfully goading more boys into joining in. Soon nearly everyone in the room was laughing at Sebastian's expense.

Sebastian felt his stomach tighten and his cheeks beginning to burn with shame. As much as it went against his nature, he dropped his eyes to the floor and began shrinking in on himself in his humiliation. He was stunned that his apology had been rejected and horrified by the ridicule he was receiving. He had never encountered anything like this before. He had never gotten insulted and been unable to defend himself. He had never been at the center of such negative attention. He couldn't decide whether to leave the room or try to wait it out.

"I believe him," Jeff stated, his voice rising over the din of guffaws. Jeff hated to see Sebastian standing there looking so broken, his usually proud shoulders slumped in defeat. It was undeniably true that a small part of Jeff did take vindictive delight in seeing the guy who had hurt him suffer for his sins, but he didn't want _this. _This was just too much. Jeff even preferred Sebastian's usual cocky, arrogant, downright jerkish demeanor to the current helpless, hurt vibe he was giving off.

"We don't have to forgive him, but let's not be assholes about it," Jeff admonished, directing the last part of his statement straight at Nick. He frowned at his friend and realized that as unsettling as it was to see Sebastian in such a role reversal, seeing Nick like this was even worse. Nick was someone he loved and trusted in no small part because of his steadfast kindness and compassion. It was thoroughly unsettling to realize that there was so much mean-spirited hate in his best friend, and this new behavior was difficult to reconcile with the image of the boy he felt he knew so well.

"Jeff, I was just-" Nick started, surprised by the disappointed look on the blond's face.

"Look let's just vote and be done with it," Jeff declared in frustration as he shot glares around the room at the rest of his teammates. "All in favor of kicking Sebastian off the team raise your hand."

Sebastian watched as all the Warblers, including Jeff, promptly lifted their hands. When he happened to glance at Trent the timid boy quickly lowered his arm and gave him a scared, apologetic look.

"It's okay, Trent, go ahead and make it unanimous," Sebastian said in an unreadable voice.

"Sebastian, you are hereby..." Nick trailed off as he caught another icy glare from Jeff.

"Yes, I know what I am, and I'll see myself out."

Sebastian took a small, steadying breath, set his shoulders and strode out of the room, softly clicking the door shut behind him.

**-000-**

**End Note: Please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. Also, on another note, for the Blam fans out there, I happen to have insider information about smut piece soon to be released by my good friend, jlbassmaster. I've read it. It's super hot! Check it out! It's called "Make Me Over."**

**Also, I'm planning a bit of a surprise for you guys for the next chapter.**


	16. Chapter 16: Want

**A/N: You guys remember when I promised you a surprise at the end of the last chapter? Well surprise - this is the final chapter! There's an epilogue, which I'm posting at the same time as this chapter, as well as an almost definite sequel to follow at some point in the future. So no worries if you want to read more about the characters in this story universe. If you're ready to call it quits though and move on to something else (I hope you're not!), then after this chapter is certainly a good stopping point. And on with the show...**

**What I Want**

**Chapter 16 - Want**

_****Then****_

Seeing Sean Meunier again after over two years was a surprise. Seeing him inside a gas station convenience store of all places was nothing short of surreal. People like Sean weren't supposed to be seen at gas stations. Hell people like Sebastian weren't supposed to be seen at gas stations. It was such a pedestrian setting. Surely they were both supposed to have servants to tank up their vehicles. Sebastian didn't know what Sean was thinking, but he was certainly cursing himself for not sending Malinda to fill his tank.

"Hello Sebastian, you look well. How pleasant to see you again," Sean said robotically, his social breeding kicking in when it became painfully apparent that they had both spotted and recognized each other. He was already anxiously scanning the gas station's interior, praying to a god he didn't believe in that Sebastian's monstrous older brother wasn't with him.

"Hi Sean, I'm glad to see your face didn't scar," Sebastian answered, unwilling to go along with some ridiculous charade that they were long lost friends.

Sean smiled wryly at the response and decided to drop his act. "I see you're still a little bitch. Nice to know some things never change. Is your big brother" - Sean said the words 'big brother' as though he were speaking to a baby - "still hiring people to fight your battles for you since you're too much of a chickenshit to deal with your own problems?"

"I don't know," Sebastian answered, pretending to ponder the question. "Why don't I call him and ask? I'll be sure to mention your name and give him your license plate number."

Sean visibly paled at the suggestion and it made him reconsider the merits dawdling in line with Sebastian trading insults. Perhaps a hasty retreat would be best. Once he had regained his composure, Sean glowered at Sebastian, pulled out his wallet, and stepped around the people in front of them.

"Pump nine, keep the change," He growled as he slammed two twenty dollar bills onto the counter, ignoring the reproaching glares of the customers he had cut ahead of.

When Sean turned around again to leave, Sebastian had a ridiculous, obnoxious grin on his face, clearly thinking he had won their exchange. Something about that damn smirk set Sean off and he found himself leaning close and whispering in Sebastian's ear. "I really enjoyed breaking in that tight ass of yours, Sebastian. Tell me, has anyone fucked you that hard since?"

Sebastian's jaw dropped as images of his first time came rushing back. He saw himself bent over Sean's father's desk, Sean pounding into him. He remembered the agonizing, tearing sensation in his ass. He felt Sean's nails scraping across his skin. He heard Sean's grunts and moans, heard him refusing to slow down or let Sebastian adjust.

By this point Sebastian's heart was racing and he found himself blinking at a cruelly calm and smug Sean. He was a loss for words. For once he had no witty rejoinder to throw out, no sarcastic insult to hurl at the boy who - if he were more dramatically inclined he would have said - stole his innocence.

"You know I'm really glad I made you bleed, Seb. You got just what you deserved. Besides, all you'll ever be good for is fucking," Sean purred as he reached around behind Sebastian and squeezed his ass before continuing in a low, mocking voice. "What else could anyone want with a whiny little bitch like you?"

Sean pushed past Sebastian and strode confidently out the store's front door. However, once out of sight, he hotfooted it back to his car, desperate to get away before Sebastian did have the opportunity to take down his license plate.

He needn't have bothered. Sebastian was still standing immobile in the store, struggling to keep himself together as he continued to relive memories he had kept carefully buried since Sean had transferred out of school. When it was his turn at the register, Sebastian somehow managed to evoke his well-practiced poise, and was able to conduct his transaction with at least a fragile air of dignity. It wasn't until he had left the store and gotten back into his car that he broke down.

**-000-**

_****Now****_

Sebastian tried to maintain his composure as he got into his car. He kept reminding himself that the Warblers didn't matter, that they were just a bunch of talentless hacks who didn't deserve the gift of his voice. He tried to convince himself that all that was really important was that he hadn't gotten into trouble with the school itself. At least that kept his record blemish-free. Besides, the Warblers were just a silly extracurricular after all. They were irrelevant. It didn't matter in the slightest that singing with the group happened to have been the only thing at Dalton that had actually made Sebastian happy.

Sebastian typed out a short text message on his phone before pulling out of the parking lot.

Sam. Sebastian may have lost the Warblers, but he knew if he played his cards right he still had a good chance of getting Sam back. Sam was better than a bunch of hypocritical, overly-sensitive, acne-faced losers anyway. At least he always knew where he stood with Sam, and Sam was just the right amount of sensitive, and breathtakingly handsome to boot. Besides, Sam could sing too. Well, allegedly anyway, Sebastian still hadn't actually heard him, but that didn't matter either. He would probably enjoy music much more with Sam than with those backstabbing pansies anyway.

A few minutes into his drive Sebastian's phone rang, eliciting a groan from him as he saw his father's name on the screen. He wanted to ignore the call, to focus on his thoughts about what had just happened, or to rehearse what he planned to say to Sam one more time. He wanted to do that, but he knew better. He had basically just committed his father to making several large donations to Dalton; avoiding his calls now would just be stupid.

"Hi dad," Sebastian said as he accepted the intrusion.

"So I hear you got off," Quentin stated, pleasure evident in his voice as he forewent a greeting and got right to crux of his call.

"That's usually a safe bet," Sebastian quipped.

"Yes, I expected you to be able to talk your way out of the situation," Quentin answered, refusing to take the bait or acknowledge his poor word choice.

"So this coach at Dalton, can't remember his name, he-"

"Coach Grey," Sebastian supplied.

"I didn't actually care," Quentin remarked dismissively. "Anyway he briefly tried to discuss football with me, and then he mentioned Dalton's renovation plans for the gymnasium in the same breath that he reiterated that you weren't in trouble anymore...I assume that was the real objective of his call?"

"Yes, a donation to the renovation project wouldn't go amiss," Sebastian confirmed. "...also the library's book digitizing project, and perhaps something Headmaster Montgomery has in the works too."

"Well gee, Sebastian, why didn't you just hand them a blank check," Quentin inquired sarcastically.

"Because I don't have Power of Attorney over your accounts...yet," Sebastian answered.

Quentin sighed, exasperated and not at all amused by his son's joke. "God, you really have cost me a fortune this week. Three donations and that iPad for Sam, and all because you don't know how to run your damn life."

"I can run my life just fine," Sebastian countered indignantly. "And you...wait what iPad for Sam?"

"I had Stacey send him an iPad on your behalf," Quentin explained, surprised that Sebastian hadn't already found out.

"Why would you do that?!" Sebastian demanded, trying to fit this new piece of information into his head.

"As an apology gift," Quentin responded as though it were obvious. "Trust me, Sebastian, when you fuck up, apology gifts help smooth things over. Or haven't you noticed all the nice things I've gotten for you over the years?"

"You do fuck up a lot, dad," Sebastian agreed, "But you didn't fuck up with Sam. _I_ fucked up with Sam. So the why the hell are _you _having your secretary send him gifts?"

"I was trying to do something nice for you. Christ, you're so ungrateful."

"I'm ungrateful because I know something like that won't help with Sam. Jeez, it probably just offended him more."

"What kind of person gets offended by an expensive gift?" Quentin asked defensively.

"Oh I dunno, dad, maybe one who isn't greedy or materialistic."

"Doesn't sound like a good match for you then, son," Quentin remarked

"What the hell?" Sebastian snapped.

"Calm down, I'm only teasing. Lord, I spend thousands and thousands of dollars on you _and_ try to fix things for you with your boyfriend and you can't even spare me a few innocents jokes," Quentin ranted lightheartedly, not really annoyed, before turning more serious. "So it didn't help then?"

"No, it just pissed me off," Sebastian responded peevishly.

"Oh don't be obtuse, Sebastian. I mean the gift didn't help things with Sam? You still haven't heard from him?"

"Actually, I'm on my way to meet him now," Sebastian answered. "But he didn't mention it."

"Ah, then it probably did help," Quentin said knowingly. "I guess it was worth it then, and at least you also escaped punishment at school...You did avoid all marks against your record and other disciplinary action, right?"

Sebastian paused before answering, not really wanting to discuss it, but plunging ahead anyway. "From Dalton itself, yes, but the Warbler's voted me off the team."

"Oh well. At least it was nothing that mattered," Quentin said blithely. "I think you were wasting too much time and energy with that singing nonsense anyway."

The words and the tone with which they were said, cut into Sebastian like a dagger, slicing at the surface of a wound which hadn't even begun to scab over yet. It was one thing for Sebastian to make these sorts of justifications _himself_, but he didn't need to hear it from his father.

"I'll talk to you later, dad." Sebastian stated coldly as he hung up the phone without further discussion. A few seconds later his father tried to call back, but this time Sebastian did let it go to voicemail. However, as soon as that call had been ignored he received a text message that said simply, 'ANSWER' in all caps, followed by yet another call. Sebastian contemplated tossing his phone into the next lane of traffic, but reluctantly picked up instead.

"Was there something else?" he asked stiffly as he answered.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I shouldn't have said that," Quentin stated in a slow, steady voice. "I know the Warblers were important to you and I shouldn't have marginalized that."

"Am I hallucinating?" Sebastian wondered aloud as he tried to wrap his head around what he had just heard.

Quentin let out a short peal of laughter and continued. "I told you the other day that I was going to try harder with you and your brother. Why do you think I tried to help you smooth things over with your boyfriend? In fact I had another session with my psychiatrist just today on the topic of trying to relate to you and Michael better."

Sebastian wasn't sure how to answer so after a little while he just mumbled a noncommittal, "okay."

"I mean it, son," Quentin insisted. "I really am trying to make an effort here. You, Michael, and Anna are the three most important things in my life. I don't want to lose you."

"We're not _things_, dad," Sebastian snapped, still confused by his father's unexpected declaration, but finding himself growing angry.

"Dammit, Seb, why do you always do that? Why can't you ever just let me be nice to you without being an asshole? You're almost as big a dumbshit as Michael sometimes. I mean seriously, is my diction really worth ignoring the actual sentiment?"

"Well you know how much I like dic-tion," Sebastian stated, emphasizing the first syllable. "Although I know you find that particular fascination of mine disgusting."

"Stop it, Sebastian! Just stop fucking deflecting all the goddamn time," Quentin growled, his tone harsh and angry before he took a few breaths and continued in a more level, resolved voice. "I love you. I don't care that you're gay. I don't know how to say it anymore clearly than that."

Sebastian was so flustered by the unexpected words that he almost dropped the phone in surprise and he had to slam on his brakes to keep from hitting the car in front of him when he looked back up and it slowed down to go around a pothole.

"I don't believe you," Sebastian said feebly, his head still spinning, but certain of the fact that things weren't adding up.

"Well why the fuck not?" Quentin demanded, his own patience wearing thin. "What more do you want?"

"You can't just say it okay?!" Sebastian shouted into the phone, his blood starting to boil as he realized why he was so upset. "You can't ignore me the majority of my life, pile all your disappointment and expectations on me, and then just occasionally say something nice or give me a few pats on the shoulder and expect me be okay with everything."

Sebastian was trembling so much by the time he finished his short speech that he gave up on driving altogether and pulled off to the shoulder of the road to finish the conversation.

Quentin was silent for several seconds as he took everything in.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, in a defeated, remorseful tone.

"Not good enough," Sebastian answered bitterly. "And you've done an even _worse_ number on Michael, so don't expect him to defrost anytime soon either."

"I know," Quentin acknowledged, sadness pervading his voice. "I've destroyed my relationship with him, and I've ruined yours in the process. It was inexcusable."

Sebastian bit his tongue to keep from speaking. For some unknown reason he suddenly felt the urge to alleviate his father's guilt and tell him that he and Michael were fine, better than ever actually; he wouldn't do it. Sebastian wouldn't destroy his own plan, nor would he let his father off the hook so easily.

"You know, I've always envied the closeness you boys had," Quentin said, a mixture of nostalgia and regret lacing his voice.

"Oh yeah, we were practically a model for brotherly love," Sebastian remarked dryly.

"Well perhaps not in the conventional ways," Quentin conceded. "But the way you could be at each other's throats one instant, then have each other's backs the next. It was...well special, and it was very wrong of me to ask you to violate that by betraying him."

"Well I'm the one who made the decision to go along with your scheme," Sebastian offered, hating the feeling of guilt his father's words were causing him. Stupid mother fucking guilt. He'd had enough of it in the past week to last a lifetime.

"That doesn't excuse my behavior," Quentin insisted. "God, Michael will probably never talk to either one of us again after he graduates from law school and it's all my fault."

"Dad I...I don't think that'll happen. I'm sure he'll forgive me...and probably you too eventually."

"Seb, he told you he hoped your faggot dick rots off...that's not exactly the invective of someone who is pleased with his brother."

"Well I bet a lot of my exes want my faggot dick to rot off too, but everyone's out of luck; I'm keeping it and it's just fine."

"You know, Sebastian, you really are an outstanding young man. I should have told you that much more often. I truly am sorry about what I did. Please know that I do love you - very much - and that I'm proud of you everyday."

"Dad stop."

"I know you don't believe me yet, but I'm going to prove it." Quentin sighed deeply and when he spoke again his voice was so broken, so crushed that it made Sebastian feel like there was an elephant sitting on his chest. "Hell, you're basically the only son I have left now."

"Dad..."

"I won't make the same mistakes again, Seb. I'm going to be there for you. I may have cost you a brother, but dammit you're going to get a father. I'm going to-"

"We lied!" Sebastian shouted, unable to stand it any longer. "I just pretended to go along with your scheme. I tipped Michael off. He's not mad at me, and he's only going to go to school part-time next semester. We arranged to show you forged report cards so you wouldn't know."

Sebastian couldn't believe what he had just done and for the life of him he couldn't figure out what had compelled him to do it. He waited tensely for the fallout, the questions, the relief, the anger, the yelling, the recriminations, the inevitable punishment.

The line was silent for several long seconds and then...laughter. Hardy, uproarious, mind-fucking laughter.

"I knew it!" Quentin declared, vindication practically dripping from his voice, his perfectly strong, normal-sounding voice.

"Uh...what?"

"I knew it," Quentin repeated smugly. "I figured it out last week in therapy. My therapist asked why I thought you would do something so out of character as to side with me instead of Michael on such a major thing, and that's when I realized: you wouldn't. Not even for a fancy vacation."

"Oh my god! Michael's going to kill me...You're going to kill me. FUCK! Dad, just-"

"Sebastian." Quentin cut in, his tone low and dangerous.

"Dad, please, just let me go talk to Sam before I'm grounded for life. I have to see him. Please jus-"

"SEBASTIAN!" Quentin yelled, silencing his son.

"Yeah dad?" Sebastian asked meekly.

"You know everything I just said about loving you, and being proud of you, and not caring that you're gay?" Quentin asked sharply.

"Yeah I know...," Sebastian trailed off sadly. "You want me to forget it."

"No," Quentin corrected, his voice calm and steady again. "I don't _ever_ want you to forget it,"

**-000-**

Sam sighed with frustration as he checked the time on his phone, annoyed to see that it still read exactly the same as it had a few moments earlier. As he was watching the minute finally did advanced, providing some small measure of vindication to him. However, glacial-paced clocks aside, Sam was pretty sure that Sebastian should have been here by now. It didn't take _this_ long to drive from Dalton under normal circumstances.

A brief flare of fear and disappointment washed over Sam – what if Sebastian had stood him up? What if he was playing some kind of cruel trick on him? - but Sam managed to force the feelings away almost as soon as he noticed them. No, he didn't believe that. Despite everything that had happened with Sebastian, he trusted him. He was certain that Sebastian had never been more sincere than he had been the previous night on the phone. He would be here. Perhaps not until after the next ice age arrived, but he would be here. Sam would just have to wait.

"This seat taken?" Sebastian asked, his normally confident voice tinged with just a hint of anxiety.

Sam looked up, a flurry of happiness raining down on him along with Sebastian's words. He knew he should have tried to say something witty, Sebastian liked witty banter after all, but instead all Sam could do was grin and shake his head.

"I asked you here so that I could manipulate you into giving me a kiss," Sebastian announced, seeping irony as he took his place beside Sam on the bench - as he settled into precisely the same seat where he had executed his first manipulation against Sam. This new, second manipulation wasn't met with even token resistance.

"Okay," Sam agreed, his green eyes sparkling as he grabbed the back of Sebastian's head and crushed their lips together.

Sebastian gasped into Sam's mouth, surprised by the suddenness of the act. The rest of his carefully crafted speech promptly went forgotten as Sam's tongue breached his parted lips.

Sam let out a pleasured moan as he became reacquainted with kissing the dark-haired singer. Sam's anger, his fear, his uncertainty, all were forgotten as he kissed the talented, beautiful boy in front of him. It was like a fresh start. Each brush of the Warbler's lips, every swirl of his tongue, won him unquestioned absolution from Sam, made the blond hunger ravenously for more.

_Clean._ Sebastian tasted fresh and clean. But then Sebastian had always tasted fresh and clean, as Sam now remembered. It wasn't like toothpaste or mints, Sam decided, and he had no idea how Sebastian managed to keep his mouth so perpetually pleasant without these artificial flavors, but nevertheless, somehow kissing Sebastian never failed to make Sam's own mouth tingle in clean delight. Sam was almost positive that nine out of ten dentists would have recommended make out sessions with Sebastian after every meal for proper oral hygiene.

Sebastian whimpered as Sam's left hand balled into the front of his button-down uniform shirt, pulling him closer as the fingers of Sam's other hand squeezed and massaged the back of Sebastian's head. In response, Sebastian's own hands frantically slid up and into Sam's shirt, his neatly-clipped nails dragging over the sinewy muscles of Sam's sides before one hand was moving to palm against Sam's tightly-corded stomach, and the other was pressing urgently into the small of Sam's back, sandwiching either side of the blond's hard torso within Sebastian's voracious fingers.

Sam felt the heat spilling from Sebastian's digits, skewering his waist in a hot beam of sexual energy. Meanwhile the temperature in their mouths had reached a boiling point and Sam could feel his lust on the verge of bubbling over completely. It had seemed like a good idea meeting Sebastian here, where everything had started. It had felt fitting, and significant, but not now, not any longer. Now Sam found himself curing the public nature of their location.

"You wanna take this to the backseat of your car?" Sam panted against Sebastian's mouth, their kiss broken, but their faces still pressed close together.

"No...well not yet," Sebastian gasped, out of breath from their activities and unable to remember why Sam's suggestion wasn't the best idea he had ever come up with. He was certain that there was something else they needed to do first though. Oh right. "We need to talk first."

"Sex first, talk after," Sam insisted, reaching over to rub Sebastian's hard length through his gray uniform slacks, and trying to visualize exactly how Sebastian's hardness looked. To remember exactly the way it felt in his hand...in his mouth...in his-

"Sex first," Sam insisted again, nodding seriously.

Sebastian smirked at Sam for the first time since their reunion. "Gee, where have I heard that before?"

Sam shrugged innocently. "I dunno. Someone really smart and horny said it to me once. He was on to something though. It totally makes conversations go better!"

Sebastian moved back enough so that he could look at Sam properly, but made no attempt to remove Sam's hand from his crotch. He was confused and unsure of how to express himself. He wanted to just accept Sam's offer. He wanted to take Sam back to his car, fuck his brains out, and then have just enough of a non-conversation for them to resume their relationship where they had left off. Sebastian wanted to do that, but he also wanted to do anything but that.

Sam studied Sebastian's face carefully, surprised by the conflict he saw there. However, what surprised him even more was the underlying look of fear, vulnerability even that was playing itself out, unguarded on Sebastian's face. Sam slowly raised his hand from Sebastian's lap and placed it chastely on his shoulder instead.

"I'm sorry, Seb. Let's talk," Sam said, giving him a gentle squeeze.

"Sam I..." Sebastian stopped as he heard the shaky quality in his own voice. He dropped his eyes to Sam's chest, unable to look at him, but determined to continue. "I had a really intense day."

"Well tell me about," Sam urged soothingly. When he didn't get a response, he raised his other hand to Sebastian's shoulder, slowly turned him around on the bench, and then pulled him backward again so that he was flush against Sam's body. Sam was surprised, but pleased with how pliantly Sebastian went along with his repositioning efforts. Still desperate to find a way to help him feel better, Sam wrapped his arms around Sebastian and tucked his chin over Sebastian's shoulder, trying to convey with physical closeness that everything was okay between them. As he settled in against Sebastian, Sam slowly began rubbing circles against Sebastian's stomach. "Just relax, Seb. Tell me what happened."

"I-I can't," Sebastian answered, holding his posture rigid, fighting the comfort Sam was offering.

"That's okay too. You don't have to if it's personal," Sam told him, kissing the side of Sebastian's head. "We can just sit here and talk about anything you want."

"I can't," Sebastian repeated, his voice just above a whisper as he glanced down at Sam's long, dexterous fingers - watched as the guitar-trained digits strummed a comforting tune against his abdomen. Sebastian clenched his jaw, struggling with himself to do the right thing for once in his life. "I don't deserve this, Sam. I haven't made everything...I haven't made _anything_ up to you yet."

Sam squeezed him and kissed the shell of his ear before whispering, "are you sorry?"

"Yeah of course," Sebastian answered with a quiet intensity. He meant it with every fiber of his being. He hated himself beyond measure for having caused any pain to this incredible guy that he was both figuratively, and now literally, so wrapped up in.

"Well then that's enough. I forgive you. There's no point in rehashing everything."

"But why?"

"Well because we'll both just get upset all over again."

"No, why would you forgive me? Why do you still want to be in the same city, let alone on the same park bench with me when I basically lied about absolutely everything and pretended to be a completely different person?...Sam, you don't even _know_ me. You just know the guy I thought could seduce you the best."

"Seb, that isn't true," Sam chided gently. "Of course I know you. The guy I met was witty and confident, and not afraid to tell me when I said something dumb or accidentally his feelings. He was smart and attractive, and amazing at reading me. He was attentive and warm. He was outrageously sexual and damn good at it. And most of all, he was willing to do anything to be with me, and would tell anyone who got in the way to go fuck themselves...Is any part of that really not who you are?"

"I...I don't know how to be attentive to your feelings. Or how to express mine. That was all an act. And I'm really _not_ a warm person I assure you."

"Sebastian, if you knew how to _pretend_ to do it, you know how to do it for real. It's just harder and scarier, but I know you can do it. I'm not worried at all."

"Well yeah but you're an idiot," Sebastian remarked.

Sam gasped, but Sebastian quickly spun around again on the bench, grinning widely and pulling Sam in for a kiss before he had a chance to object. "You're not an idiot at all, Sam. That was the single most insightful thing anyone who wasn't my therapist ever said to me. That was just me being a jerk...I do that a lot. But this is me trying to be attentive and uh...you know, express my feelings."

"Well good job. You sure know how to launch a surprise attack," Sam answered, grinning back and kissing Sebastian again.

Sebastian smiled but awkwardly continued. "I need to say something else, Sam...I don't want to, but I need to."

"Okay," Sam said anxiously as he braced himself. He didn't like the nervous, tense look Sebastian was giving him and he couldn't help but wonder if after all of this, a familiar pattern in his life was about to repeat itself and he would be told something along the lines of, 'you're a great guy, but...'

"Sam, I've hooked up with a lot of guys," Sebastian started.

"I knew that," Sam answered, relieved and hoping that maybe this was the extent of the bad news. He could deal with Sebastian having a wild and varied past. He wasn't under any delusions about him being a choir boy...even if Sebastian had sort of literally been a choir boy.

"I've fucked and gotten fucked, and not given a damn about it...I thought that was all I was good for anyway. And it's not like I really wanted anything else."

"Where is this going?" Sam prodded, distressed by Sebastian's words.

"That was exactly the kind of question I never asked myself," Sebastian stated. "It didn't matter. None of those guys mattered. But Sam you're – oh god, I sound like someone out of a romance novel – you're different."

"I am?" Sam asked softly, a feeling of warmth washing over him and a huge smile breaking out across his face.

"You are," Sebastian agreed, simultaneously irritated and amused by this fact. "You're utterly guileless for one thing."

"I don't know what that means," Sam confessed, shrugging and wondering how to spell it so he could look it up later if Sebastian didn't tell him.

"I know," Sebastian answered, fondly squeezing his hand. "It means innocent. Simple in the best sense of the word. Honest."

"I guess that's an okay thing to be," Sam decided, nodding.

"It is," Sebastian assured him. "It...well it makes me want to protect you." Sebastian saw that Sam was about to interrupt so he clarified. "_Emotionally. _It makes me want to protect you emotionally. To hide you away from the rest of the crappy, evil world and preserve your innocence. There's just one big problem. See I'm pretty much the crappiest, evilest thing around here, and I'm probably the one you need protecting from the most. Plus, when I get you alone my thoughts turn to anything but preserving your virtue."

"I don't believe that," Sam insisted. "You're not crappy and evil, Seb. And also sex isn't bad if that's what you mean. We could have all kinds of dirty, kinky sex and still be good people...In fact let's go prove it!" Sam suggested brightly.

"I'm game," Sebastian agreed laughing, before his face turned serious again. "But Sam, I'm going to hurt you."

"Uh, I'm not into that," Sam answered, wrinkling his nose.

"I don't mean during sex," Sebastian clarified, struggling to be patient. "I mean I'm going to fuck up our relationship. I'm going to be a dick and do mean things, and completely ignore your feelings sometimes."

Sam grimaced and licked his lips anxiously. "I wish you wouldn't."

"I wish I wouldn't too," Sebastian answered grimly. "But I probably will. I'm a bad person."

"No you are _not_!" Sam snapped, almost angrily.

"I am," Sebastian insisted. "But the weird, fucked up thing, is that I actually do want to stop, and it's because of you."

"I make you want to be a better person!" Sam blurted out excitedly, as he interpreted Sebastian's words. "Dude, that's like a classic chick flick thing to say...and I kinda see why it works 'cause, awwww."

Sebastian frowned, biting back a snarky comment, before smiling slightly about the fact that he had indeed been able to bite back said snarky comment.

"Well I just need to know that I am trying, but you can't expect too much, especially at first."

"Sebastian, you don't _have_ to change at all. I like you just the way you are," Sam assured him before thinking about it a little more and shrugging. "...although I guess maybe without all the evil plotting would be okay too. You can stop doing that if you want."

"I'll certainly do my best," Sebastian answered, smirking and laughing under his breath at how adorable Sam was being.

"Then we have a deal!" Sam declared before closing the small space between them and sealing their conversation with a kiss. When they broke apart Sam smiled softly and turned Sebastian back around on the bench so that he could hold him again.

"So I think we had decided earlier that there was going to be some casual chatting and cuddling in our immediate future," Sam remarked as he pulled Sebastian down against chest and took his hands, resting them on Sebastian's stomach.

"And sex," Sebastian added, tilting his head back and grinning at Sam upside down.

"Oh yeah, definitely sex," Sam agreed, nodding.

**-The End-**

**-000-**

**End Note: Thoughts, comments, and reactions?**

**Wanna find out about that sex and also pick up a few plot points for the sequel? Go read the epilogue.**


	17. Chapter 17: Epilogue: Vacation

**Epilogue - Vacation**

_****Two and a Half Months Later** **_

Sam was leaning on the ornate, w_rought iron_ railing of his hotel suite's balcony, his chin resting lazily on his folded arms as he watched the ocean waves lapping at the beach's pristine sands. He kicked idly at the metal bars with one foot, while he reflected on the fact that he was actually even here, staying at this expensive foreign resort, _with his boyfriend._

Sam wasn't usually the sort of person to spend a great deal of time contemplating life. He preferred to just take things as they came and tried to make the best of each moment. As such he was rarely surprised to find himself in any particular given set of circumstances because he would always just accept them for what they were. Nevertheless, something about the salt air and the sheer magnitude of the expansive, ever-undulating ocean had him pondering the extraordinary nature of this specific situation. If someone had told him four months earlier that he would be enjoying a luxury vacation with another guy that he was romantically involved with, he would have laughed in their faces and said they were crazy. Yet here he was.

"Enjoying the view," came Sebastian's voice as Sam heard the glass door sliding open.

"Yeah, it's breathtaking!" Sam declared, truly in awe at the beauty of the late-afternoon sun sparkling off the vivid blues and whites of the ocean and sand.

"Actually I was making a statement about myself. _I'm_ enjoying the view," Sebastian remarked as his hands reached out to grope Sam's rear, which was extended back and outward, providing easy access thanks to his posture. "But you're certainly correct about it being breathtaking."

Sam grinned and stood up straight, enjoying the now almost predictable way Sebastian pressed himself against Sam's body and wrapped his arms around him, briefly caressing his chest and stomach before sliding his hands into the front of Sam's blue board shorts. Sam moaned and tilted his head back against Sebastian's shoulder, promptly tempting the taller teen to latching lustful lips around his neck, and kiss and suck hard. Sam certainly had no intention of complaining. After all, what was the point of going on vacation if you didn't get to walk around sporting a few hickeys that wouldn't have to be explained to anyone? Sebastian could mark his entire throat as far as Sam was concerned, especially if he kept rubbing his cock so blissfully while he was doing it.

Whimpering, Sam reached backward to grab Sebastian's ass and pull him in closer. Unexpectedly his fingers met hot, bare flesh. Sam's gasped in surprise and whirled around as quickly as he could in Sebastian's tight embrace, coming face to face with his boyfriend's amused eyes and smirking lips.

"You're naked!" Sam exclaimed, a gleeful glint glowing in his eyes.

"I was wondering when you would notice," Sebastian answered, that same cocky, playful look on his face that Sam had grown to find so utterly irresistible. Sebastian's tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and his hands settled into the back of Sam's shorts, palming each hard globe as he pulled him close, his nude erection meeting Sam's clothed one. Just before their mouths met Sebastian whispered, "watching your hot body on the beach today made me _so_ insanely horny."

The glint in Sam's pale green eyes darkened into full blown lust and he quickly crashed his mouth against Sebastian's. Their kiss was anything but tender. Tongues tangled hotly in open mouths as Sebastian demonstrated the full extent of his arousal by thrusting recklessly against Sam's still-clad equipment, obviously unconcerned about potential friction burns. Meanwhile his fingers had entered Sam's crack and if the focused way he was tracing Sam's sensitive pucker was any indication, Sam had a feeling he knew exactly how Sebastian wanted things to progress. He couldn't help but wonder just how long Sebastian had been 'enjoying the view' as he had put it, but however long it had been, it was obviously long enough to make Sebastian desperate to paint the landscape.

"Come inside," Sebastian said urgently as he broke the kiss and withdrew his hand so that he could intertwine it with Sam's and pull him toward the balcony doors.

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing to you," Sam said with a wink as he let himself be led back inside the hotel.

"Oh you're in for it now," Sebastian said as he pulled Sam through their lounging area and into the bedroom.

Sam snickered, finding Sebastian's threat unlikely. He didn't doubt that Sebastian _could_ have given him a hard, rough fucking, but so far whenever he had bottomed for Sebastian, his boyfriend had been agonizingly gentle with him. So gentle that it usually had the effect of making Sam plead for more, while Sebastian simultaneously held Sam's hands away from his cock _and_ kept his pace maddeningly slow and precise, leaving Sam's balls throbbing and his whole body quivering by the time Sebastian finally gave him his release.

"Strip," Sebastian ordered in a ragged voice as he pushed Sam onto the bed and then turned around to bend over one of his suitcases, rifling through it for the condoms and lube. The boys had arrived at the hotel the night before and so far unpacking had taken a backseat to other more enjoyable activities. Truth be told Sam was excited about getting his overseas cherry popped, and had been a little disappointed that all they had done the night before was trade hand-jobs in the shower.

Sam's cock pulsed as he watched Sebastian's firm, tight ass bouncing and shaking as he continued searching for his quarry. Sam didn't doubt that Sebastian had positioned them in just this way specifically so that Sam would get even more worked up. The effort definitely succeeded as Sam quickly determined that he had no further use for his t-shirt and board shorts. He happily shed them and began languidly stroking himself as he enjoyed the erotic show Sebastian was putting on.

"Lie back," Sebastian instructed a few moments later as he turned around, having finally located the necessary items.

Sam happily complied, knowing from experience just how much he was going to enjoy the proceedings. He ran his eyes over Sebastian's hard, lean body. Before Sebastian, Sam had been unaware of just how erotic the male form could be, but now, looking at Sebastian like this, he felt the familiar, blinding urge to _have_ Sebastian, to connect with him and completely lust out against his body.

"Spread your legs," Sebastian requested as he knelt between Sam's thighs on the bed, slick lube already coating his index finger.

Sam nodded and swallowed hard, opening his most vulnerable place to Sebastian, and liking the way it felt to do so. Sam knew that he wouldn't get hurt, that he wouldn't regret what he was about to do. Sebastian never hurt him, or made him regret sex. Sam always felt safe and wanted_,_ _so wanted_, when he had sex with Sebastian. He knew that Sebastian was looking at him the same way that he was looking at Sebastian: as a beautiful sex object to fuck and possess in all the right ways. And Sam was fine with that, actually more than fine with it. It was honest and direct in just the way he had come to expect from Sebastian and it didn't detract from the emotional connection he felt with the dark-haired boy.

"That feels amazing," Sam moaned as Sebastian briskly brushed his prostate with two fingers. Sam wasn't sure when Sebastian had added the second digit, but god was he ever noticing how welcome and effective that second finger was now. He lowered himself more fully onto Sebastian's hand, spreading his legs even wider, and gasping when Sebastian responded by redoubling his manual efforts.

Looking at the expression of concentration and desire on Sebastian's face was more than getting Sam in the right head space for what was about to happen. He looked at Sebastian's chest and shoulders as the dark-haired, young man continued working him over. These parts of Sebastian, in addition to his face of course, were always Sam's favorite places to focus when Sebastian was fucking him. His broad shoulders, perfectly rounded and muscular at the top, were flawless and led gracefully down to the sinewy swells of his biceps, and then finally to his exquisitely long, tightly muscled arms – Sam couldn't decide rather Sebastian's arms were lewd or beautiful, but either way they made his cock twitch with want.

Suddenly Sebastian was raising himself up on the bed, stretching out over Sam, his arms now close enough to touch – which Sam promptly did, wrapping his fingers around each of Sebastian's biceps and staring at the hard, well-formed chest only a few inches away from his face. Sebastian's chest was a wonder all its own. Sam hadn't really given much thought to such things before meeting Sebastian, but he was sure that his boyfriend had the sort of chest that would have been well-suited to modeling. Sebastian's chest was strong and powerful in a way quite unlike how Sam thought about other guys' chests, his football or swimming teammates for example. Sure they had strong, powerful chests too, but Sebastian's was _beautiful_, and sexually charged somehow, like it existed specifically to be looked at and enjoyed during sex rather than for the strength to perform mundane, daily activities, or athletic contests.

"Are you ready?" Sebastian whispered, peppering Sam's jaw with featherlight kisses.

"So ready," Sam mumbled. Ready was an understatement by this point. Sam was practically frantic to be taken, to be ravished by the amazing, pornographic work of art that was Sebastian Smythe.

"Tell me if it hurts," Sebastian instructed, placing a final kiss directly on Sam's lips and leaning back enough to guide his erection against Sam's entrance. The blond whined as Sebastian's muscles slipped from his fingers in the process, and only the promise of their imminent return, coupled this time with Sebastian's cock inside of him, kept Sam from verbally complaining the loss.

Sam nodded, knowing Sebastian wouldn't penetrate him until he made the agreement. An instant later he was overcome with a sharp, consuming pressure, that invaded his body. As though Sebastian could read his mind his biceps were suddenly back within Sam's reaching, silently offering an invitation to be clenched, clutched, or clawed as Sam saw fit to channel the swirling cocktail of intense sensations flooding over him.

"It hurts just a little, but I'm okay," Sam answered, taking deep breaths and forcing himself to relax. Hurt wasn't even the right word for it. It was an almost-hurt, almost-pleasure hybrid that depended so much on context for interpretation, and Sam reminded himself that the context was _Sebastian_, the boy he trusted implicitly.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian apologized, wishing he had spent longer with his preparations. He captured Sam's mouth with his own, careful not to lean forward or penetrate Sam more fully, as he initiated the kiss. It was meant to be soft and reassuring, but almost immediately it dialed up to frenzied and needy. Suddenly it was all Sebastian could do not to fuck Sam like mad as they made out. His lust was all-consuming and being just slightly inside Sam's tight heat, while the rest of his length remained cold, and exposed, seemed almost cruelly teasing.

To Sebastian's relief, a few moments later he felt Sam's ankles pressing into his ass at the same time that the blond leaned his head back completely, further indicating that if Sebastian wanted to continue their kiss he would have to do so while more fully sheathed inside of Sam.

Just as their lips reunited, Sebastian's cock struck that spot inside Sam's body that was achingly swollen and desperate for contact. The pleasure assaulted Sam so abruptly that it had him sucking Sebastian's lower lip into his mouth, scrapping teeth across it and claiming the delicate skin as his prisoner.

Sebastian grunted in surprise and involuntarily slammed into Sam's body again, much harder this time, before quickly cursing himself for his reaction and temporary stilling his hips.

"Nooo," Sam whined, releasing Sebastian's mouth. "It hurt a little, but it also felt _really_ good. Keep doing it like that."

"Sorry babe, slow and steady wins the race," Sebastian answered, smirking and sinking back in with a slow, deliberate thrust that once again pressed against Sam's needy knot of nerves.

"Sebastian, please," Sam whined again, raising his hips to meet Sebastian's thrust, in a desperate bid to get more force that way.

"Nope, I'm going to slowly fuck you till you're good and dripping, Sam. Then we can talk about going faster and cumming," Sebastian insisted as he rolled back onto his knees and pinned Sam's hips against the bed, driving back into him at a blissfully slow rate that had them both feeling every pulsing inch.

Sam looked down between their chests and stomachs at his cock, trying to will it to start leaking for Sebastian, to coat his abs in sticky precum in that way that always drove Sebastian wild and finally made him plunge in harder.

"Don't worry, babe, twenty or thirty minutes of intense prostate stimulation ought to do the trick," Sebastian answered, winking and smirking as he settled into a slow, steady rhythm that soon had moans and curses escaping both their mouths.

"Jerk me," Sam begged several minutes later, knowing that he wasn't allowed to touch his own cock. Once a few weeks ago when he had repeatedly violated this directive Sebastian had stopped and tied his wrists together with a pillow case. Sam had been scandalized – and absolutely loved it. It made him feel completely at Sebastian's mercy. He was tempted to 'get in trouble' again just to see what would happen.

"You sure you want that? You know I'll stop before you cum, and you'll just get hornier."

"Okay," Sam agreed, too desperate for the heavenly friction to care. A few moments later long, skillful fingers, slick with lube, were expertly stroking over Sam's shaft. Hard. Fast. Firm. Rubbing him at roughly twice the speed that Sebastian's cock was fucking him, causing whole-body, tingling waves of goodness to crash over Sam's body. It was just what Sam so desperately needed. It was driving him closer, closer, closer flooding him with pleasure until...Sebastian abruptly stopped and gently, but firmly grabbed Sam's balls, stopping their upward ascent and robbing him of his climax at the last instant.

"You fucking, cocktease!" Sam cursed, panting and glaring at Sebastian.

"So you _wouldn't_ like to feel that a few more times before you explode?" Sebastian asked sarcastically, beginning to carefully caress Sam's full balls, simultaneously soothing them and making them twitch to spill their contents.

"I wanna cum twice!" Sam declared, grinning at Sebastian and giving him a pleading, puppy dog look. "Let me cum, and then just keep fucking me till I cum again."

"Your ass would be too sensitive after you came the first time," Sebastian said, shaking his head and wistfully wishing it could have happened.

"I don't care. You can keep fucking me anyway," Sam insisted.

"_I_ care," Sebastian countered, leaning over to connect their lips and silence Sam, as well as to mask his embarrassment at the admission.

They continued making out for several more minutes while Sebastian gently fucked Sam until at last he reared back on his ankles again, and returned his attention to Sam's erection, certain that his lover had had plenty of time to cool down from the last near-eruption. This time he focused his talented digits directly on Sam's sensitive, leaking cockhead.

It felt so good and so intense Sam could hardly stand it. It was an intensity he wouldn't have been able to administer to himself, and it felt so tortuously good that he began bucking his hips hard and fast against Sebastian's thighs, fucking himself on his boyfriend's large, throbbing dick. He had to acknowledge, his own frenetic gyrations weren't delivering the same highly targeted, delicious goodness that Sebastian's methodical thrusting had been, but the frenzied nature of it felt relieving in its own way, and Sebastian's fingers were already giving him more than enough targeted, pure pleasure.

"Okay fine, if you're going to make me hold you down, I guess your cock won't get any attention," Sebastian admonished as he released Sam's equipment and re-pinned his hips to the bed.

"But I'm leaking _a lot_ now!" Sam declared triumphantly as he noticed that Sebastian's manual ministrations had indeed induced quite a bit of precum to seep out of his slit. His head was coated and one long string connected his quivering cock to the spot just above his navel where a decent sized pool had formed. "Make me cum, Seb, pleeeease."

"Soon," Sebastian insisted, licking his lips and increasing his pace just slightly, trying desperately to stay in control, but wanting nothing more than to suck the salty treat off of Sam's body and plow him good and proper. "I need you to convince me that you _really_ want to cum. Just enjoy it till you can't take it anymore. Then I'll let you cum."

Sam moaned and let his eyes roll back in his head as he lost himself in the flood of sensations. He knew Sebastian was right. As much as he wanted to cum he also wasn't ready for the ecstasy to stop yet. It just felt too good; part of Sam wanted it to never end. "Touch me some more, Seb. I promise I'll stay still this time."

Sam's request was too tantalizing to pass up. His body looked obscenely good like this. Flushed, sex ravished, every muscle taut and throbbing. Sebastian could even smell a faint hint of the ocean's saltwater still clinging to Sam's skin, mixing with his natural scent and ratcheting Sebastian's lust an even higher plane. It felt like existed but this bed and the blond Adonis impaled on his dick.

"You want me to touch you?" Sebastian prodded, wanting to hear Sam beg again.

"Please. It's _soooo_ good Sebastian. Please more, give me more," Sam pleaded, licking his lips and looking at his lover through heavy, lust-lidded eyes.

Sebastian arched his back and sealed his mouth over Sam's left nipple, flicking the hard nub with his tongue and gently nipping at it. As he did so his fingers danced over the hard grooves of Sam's abs, smearing the now-copious precum over Sam's washboard stomach and already imagining licking it off.

"Oh god! Oh god!" Sam whimpered, surprised by the sudden assault on his chest. It wasn't what he had meant by his request to be touched, but it was sending shock waves to his cock and making his prostate throb even harder in the process. Unable to resist Sam did plunge himself down harder against Sebastian's member, releaved when his actions met with no reproach, and rightly guessing that Sebastian was too worked up to care.

"I have two nipples," Sam reminded Sebastian in a broken voice. He was delighted an instant later when Sebastian's left hand rose up to tweak his right nipple, doubling the electrifying signals shooting from Sam's chest to his groin until he felt a warm heat pooling throughout his chest, stomach, and nether regions. Sam wasn't sure what Sebastian had done to ignite the pleasurable fire, but his senses were locked on overdrive. He could barely speak but he forced himself to moan out another request.

"My dick is...oh it's aching so much. P-pease Seb, M-make me feel good there too."

Sam's words made Sebastian nip harder at Sam's pert nipple just as his cock hit Sam's prostate with the most force he had allowed himself to use all session, eliciting a delightfully nasty string of profanity to fall from Sam's lips as he now outright yelled at Sebastian to stroke his cock.

Finally Sebastian obliged him, carefully balancing himself on his knees as he tried to maintain the complex rhythm of fucking Sam, tweaking and sucking his nipples, and now also jerking him off. Sebastian was pretty sure this should be some kind of very advanced adult coordination test. If he ever got pulled over and asked to prove his sobriety he knew what he would be suggesting to the officer if Sam was in the car with him.

"Fucking FUCKKK, oh GOD! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum!"

Sam's eye's widened and his whole body tensed, strained, tightened, and then finally erupted in a blinding pleasure. Sam clenched the sheets and practically screamed as he unloaded between their bodies, the majority of his juices coating the underside of Sebastian's throat and chest thanks to his position still lightly sucking on Sam's nipple.

"Oh my god, Seb," Sam panted, his entire body going slack and dark spots flashing across his field of vision. "I didn't know it could feel that good."

"You're welcome," Sebastian said smugly as he eased off and out of Sam, well-aware of how sensitive his ass must have been now, and careful not to pull out too quickly.

Sebastian took a few calming breaths as he got on his knees. Then he wiped the thick, sticky cum off of his throat and chest, and promptly licked the load off his fingers, delighting in the salty, slightly bitter taste and the pungent, aroma of sex pervading the air.

"God, I need to cum so fucking bad!" Sebastian growled in frustration as he tore the unfilled condom off his aching erection and began jerking himself at a frenzied pace. Sam felt guilty for not taking care of Sebastian, but before he even had a chance to sit up the other guy was covering him in a shower of cum. Sam had half hoped Sebastian would unload on his face, but instead he aimed at his chest and stomach, drenching him in the milky liquid.

Moments later Sebastian collapsed onto the bed next to Sam, pulling the blond into his arms and nuzzling Sam's head with his chin.

"I'm sorry you didn't cum inside me," Sam whispered, still breathing hard and trying to summon the strength to roll over and face Sebastian. It was no use. All he had the energy to do was melt more deeply against him.

"Shh, it's okay," Sebastian said soothingly as he placed a kiss on the side of Sam's head and cuddled him more snugly. "Just relax and enjoy the moment. It was amazing, and believe me I had an epic struggling trying _not_ to cum while I was fucking you. You're absurdly hot."

"So you mean you were close?" Sam asked, pleased by the news.

"Only for pretty much the entire last twenty minutes," Sebastian answered with a laugh.

"Then why didn't you?" Sam inquired, once again wishing that they could have enjoyed a mutual moment of climax.

"I wanted to focus on getting you off just right," Sebastian answered with a shrug as he felt an embarrassed heat rise to his face and was glad that Sam would almost certainly attribute it to the sex if he noticed at all. "Anyway, I hope you were talking notes, because I want you to fuck me like that tonight after dinner."

"Oh god, I wasn't!" Sam declared in mock horror. "Quick do it all again. I'll get a pen and paper."

"You ass," Sebastian teased, elbowing Sam lightly.

"You mean 'your ass,'" Sam corrected, a laugh coloring his voice. "And for the record it's your ass to use whenever you want."

"Thanks, pretty sure I'm going to want a good session with the cockmonster later though," Sebastian answered, reaching between Sam' legs and lightly tapping on his glans.

"Oh that'll definitely happen," Sam promised with a chuckle, more than excited by the idea but nevertheless finding he lacked the energy to even hold his head up, as he burrowed deeper into Sebastian's embrace. He felt so completely comfortable and relaxed, his whole body soothed and happy. He idly took Sebastian's hand and started rubbing his thumb over the singer's knuckles, hoping the small gesture conveyed some measure of what he was feeling.

A little while later Sebastian rolled back on top of the blond jock so that he was straddling him. He then leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips and then slowly kissing down his neck, and still very sensitive chest.

"What are you doing?" Sam inquired, moaning lightly and enjoying the feeling, but worried about what Sebastian had in mind. "I don't think I'm ready for a second round just yet."

"Just a little clean up," Sebastian answered. "Round two can wait till later."

"Ahh, that feels really good," Sam answered as Sebastian continued tracing his chest with his tongue.

"You _taste_ really good, Sam," Sebastian moaned back, as his mouth came into contact with the planes of Sam's lower pectorals, where some of the blond's load had dripped down from Sebastian's chin and throat. "Mmm, so good."

"Some of that's probably you," Sam pointed out, reminding Sebastian that he had also shot much of his own load on Sam's chest.

"Well I _know_ I taste good," Sebastian answered with a self assured shrug as he continued lapping up their intermingled fluids. Next Sebastian trailed down Sam's abdomen, re-liquifying the sticky remnants of Sam's precum pool with his tongue and enjoying the slightly milder taste that it held in comparison to the stronger flavor of their semen. After tonguing the ridges of each of Sam's well-defined abs, he eventually he made his way down to Sam's crotch, burying his nose in the still-cum-clumped dark blond thatch, as he gently caressed Sam's deflated tool with his fingertips. "Christ, just the way you smell has me ready to cream myself a second time."

In contrast to his lewd words Sebastian reverently and delicately removed all traces of seed from Sam's equipment, and then carefully moved down lower still, nuzzling Sam's balls with his nose and mouth. "Your sack smells fucking incredible too. Like concentrated sex. It makes me want to shoot another load all over your balls and then lick it off."

"You can definitely feel free to do that," Sam remarked with a lopsided grin as he pulled a pillow under his head and looked down at Sebastian, glowing from all the attention he was receiving.

Sebastian smirked and moved back up over Sam's body until they were face to face again, hazel eyes shining into paler green. Sebastian slowly lowered himself fully on top of Sam, chest pressing against chest, their satisfied cocks embracing and sharing the contact down to their drained balls. After enjoying the full-body contact for a little while, Sebastian finally gripped Sam's chin, turning his face sideways and brushing a stray blond lock behind his ear as he whispered.

"I _could_ do that. I could make myself erupt all over you right now, Sam, but I really want you to fuck another load out of me after dinner instead. I want you to tease me until I'm begging for your cock, then I want you to pound me like I'm your bitch in prison, and you haven't cum for a month."

A low moan escaped Sam's throat at the imagery before he spoke. "But you're my boyfriend, and I came ten minutes ago," he pointed out.

"That's why I said _like,_" Sebastian answered, smirking, before he settled down against Sam again, this time resting his head on Sam's chest and reveling in the way the guitarist's fingers soon began massaging his scalp. The next thing he knew sleep had claimed Sebastian. Sam followed almost immediately after that, his arms still holding Sebastian tightly in place against his body.

When the boys awoke from their naps it was late enough that they decided to make it an early dinner – "more time for fucking later," Sebastian had remarked. After their showers they dressed in semi-formal clothes in compliance with the dress code of the restaurant where Sebastian was taking them. After placing their orders and chatting casually for a few minutes Sebastian cleared his throat.

"So I know you're disappointed about Blaine coming back to Dalton next year instead of McKinley," Sebastian said by way of introduction to his topic.

Sam frowned, surprised and a little annoyed that Sebastian was bringing it up when he knew the issue of senior year was a sore spot for Sam in general. When Finn, Puck, Kurt, Mike, Quinn, Mercedes, Santana, and Rachel had all graduated at the end of the previous school year, Sam had already been dreading spending senior year with nearly all of his friends gone. Sam was also concerned that though he really liked Burt and Carole and got along wonderfully with them, it might still be a little awkward living with Finn and Kurt's parents without his friends actually being present. To make matters worse Rory had also confirmed that he too wouldn't be returning the following year, having to go back to Ireland instead.

Nevertheless, Sam had tried to take all of these disappointments in stride, pleased that at least he would still have Blaine. After all, Blaine had rapidly become his best friend and he was still the only person at McKinley that knew about Sam's relationship with Sebastian. Having the brunet around during the school week, and then getting to see Sebastian on the weeknights and weekends would make life much more bearable. Thus it had felt like a crippling blow when a few days before he and Sebastian departed for their vacation, Blaine had announced that since Kurt and most of the rest of their friends weren't going to be there the following year that he was transferring back to Dalton for his senior year. Sam had felt crushed and had wanted to point out that _he_ was still going to be there and that Blaine was basically abandoning him. However, he knew it wouldn't be right to give his friend a guilt trip, and that it would ultimately only drive them further apart, so instead he had forced himself to man up and try to support Blaine's decision. Sam reassuring himself that at least he would still get to see his best friend often with all the time he would no doubt be spending visiting Sebastian on campus.

"Yeah, I'm pretty bummed," Sam confirmed, forcing the irritation out of his tone. None of this was Sebastian's fault and though it was kind of a downer that he had brought it up, Sam wasn't going to take it out on him.

"I have a little confession to make," Sebastian said, a smile already tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"What's that?" Sam asked, glancing at Sebastian curiously.

"I talked Blaine into transferring back to Dalton," Sebastian announced, still fighting the grin that was threatening to spoil his big reveal.

"What?!" Sam snapped, drawing the attention of several of the other diners in the restaurant. He blushed at the scene he had caused and spoke in a lowered, but no less angry voice when he continued. "Why the hell would you do that?!"

"So he could be your roommate," Sebastian answered, finally allowing himself to beam at Sam as he opened his coat, pulled out an envelop, and plunked it down in front of Sam.

Sam furrowed his brow in confusion and looked at Sebastian like he was crazy before picking up the envelop and eying it speculatively. He noticed there was a slight weight to it, like it contained more than just paper.

"Well open it!" Sebastian barked, already impatient to see his boyfriend's reaction.

Sam tore open the letter and dumped it's contents onto the table.

"Holy crap! It's an acceptance letter to Dalton...and a key to my new dorm room!" Sam explained excitedly as if Sebastian hadn't already known. Then another thought hit him. "Wait did you say Blaine was going to be roommate? Wow that's so cool! And you'll be like right there too! Oh god this is so awesome!"

Sam's enthusiasm was short lived as a problem crossed his mind and his whole face fell in disappointment. "Oh no wait...I can't go. There's no way my parents can afford the tuition."

"I wouldn't worry about that. You're already paid up for the year," Sebastian said casually, trying to brush the information aside.

"What?! How?...your dad?" Sam asked, trying to make sense of what he was being told.

Sebastian shook his head.

"Nah, I'm just glad dad decided to still pay for our vacation after all that drama with Michael. I didn't even mention this to him." Sebastian blushed and looked anxious, an expression that only Sam could induce in him. "I took care of it myself."

"You can't do that!" Sam declared, wide-eyed. "I mean, thanks and I like _really_ appreciate it, but that's way too expensive."

"It's already a done deal, Sam," Sebastian insisted, shrugging. "Don't worry about it. I've got plenty of money. This is one of the best uses I've ever found for it."

"I'm gonna pay you back...someday," Sam answered, touched by the gesture and slowly letting himself get excited again. He just had one more concern. "But what if I can't keep up? I mean isn't Dalton like a really advanced school? My grades already aren't that good just at McKinley."

"I'll tutor you, or hire you a tutor, or Blaine'll help...or probably some combination of the three. It'll be fine," Sebastian stated confidently, before a worried look formed on his own face. "You are pleased about this right? I thought you'd like this idea and I wanted it to be a surprise...but I guess I should have talked to you about it. I'm just not used to...consulting other people I guess, but you don't _have_ to go if you don't want to and-"

"Seb," Sam cut in, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand. "I'm thrilled. This is the best gift ever and I can't wait!"

Sebastian sighed in relief and returned the grin that Sam was giving him. He had a feeling it was going to be quite a year.

**-000-**

**Final Note: That's all for this story, folks. I plan to do a sequel, but there will probably be a decent chunk of time until it starts. In the meantime I'm going to be going through and editing this story and my other serial "Making It Work" (Sam/Rory pairing) to correct typos and other errors. Then I'm going to (finally) finish up "Making It Work." While that's taking place I'm also going to be working on and completing my new little Niff mini-series, and perhaps another few projects.**

**The sequel is tentatively set to be entitled "Voice" and as the epilogue suggests, it will be set at Dalton and I plan for it to encompass pretty much their entire Senior year. It will feature Sebastian and Sam's actual relationship, and also deal with the decisions they need to make regarding their lives after graduation (separately and together). There will be more Smythe family drama, including new story lines for Michael, Quentin, and Vanessa. As well as lots of interaction between Sam & Sebastian and Blaine, Jeff, Nick, and a bit of Karofsky and Trent. Plus at least one whole new Dalton villain, and a brand new, non-sex, non-singing, hobby for Sam and Sebastian. Speaking of sex and singing though, expect LOTS of the former (and not just between Sam and Seb), and perhaps a good bit more of the latter.**

**I'm very excited to start writing this thing and I hope you'll join me for this new adventure. When it starts it will be posted as a new story on the Sam/Sebastian page, so check there periodically or follow me. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, PMd, followed, favorited, or simply read this story! You're all lovely and amazing and deserve a beverage of your choice!**


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